AUTHOR: AmethystxX

DISCLAIMER: I BARELY own my cat, I think that it's pretty far fetched that I own a bleeding TV show lol. No one belongs to me! And that's the truth...I think...I dunno what lies are nowadays.

PAIRING: Angel/Spike...maybe some Xander/Spike I don't know yet :)

SUMMARY: Written for Higgy as her challenge is a real laugh riot :) AngelSpike fic about everyday life between the two with Xander and Giles coming over for a visit. Events that happen and some complete randomness. SLASH!

NOTES: For the lovely Higgy! Since it's her challenge I'm doing! :)

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The Challenge:

Characters must include: Angel, Spike, Xander and one other person from the Buffyverse of your choice.

Objects:
1. A half eaten candy bar
2. A tub of peanut butter
3. A reclining chair
4. A piece of black tissue paper
5. A rubber duck
6. A paper shredder
7. A black baseball cap
8. A balloon pump

Must be in someone's apartment
Someone must slide into the kitchen wearing nothing but a pair of socks
Someone must get hit in the face by a pair of boxers
Lines:
1. First line. "Yummy."
2. Last line. "'S very...chocolaty."
3. Line somewhere. "It tastes kinda funky. Not the bad kinda funky. Funky like a disco."
4. Another line. "Take that out of there now young man!"
5. Yet another line. "That was not supposed to happen..."
6. In Scottish accent. "There's a wee moose in there corner!"

Any additional features:
1. "No I'm not going to catch you!"
2. Someone being scared of clowns.
3. Someone doing a busted jump.
4. A burping contest.
5. A cheesy wotsit in the sofa.

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WOLFRAM AND HART, MORNING, ANGELS APARTMENT:

"Yummy" Angel commented with appreciation as he walked into his kitchen only to be met with the sight of Spike, clad in socks....and only socks, with his back to him giving him full view of his arse...not that he was complaining.

"I dunno luv" Spike responded, turning around and holding up a tub of Peanut butter, "It doesn't look so yummy to me. How old is this Peanut butter?" Spike asked, sniffing the contents.

"Spike, I couldn't care less how old it was. It's not like it has a birthday, Just taste it" Angel replyed, rummaging in the fridge for his blood. Knowing Spike though, it could very well be in the freezer.

Spike shrugged, what harm could out of date peanut butter do to a vampire? Spike asked himself before sticking his fingers in the mess and putting them in his mouth. As Angel's head appeared out of the fridge he turned around just in time to see Spike pull a face. Angel grinned,

"What's it taste like?" Angel asked, chuckling as Spike stuck out his tongue while clenching his eyes shut then pulling it back in and swallowing the food.

Spike opened his eyes and persed his lips, "It tastes kinda funky. Not bad funky. Funky like a disco sorta funky" Spike answered, looking at the label again.

Angel's brows creased in confusion before he shook his head in exasperation. He wasn't even going to try and figure out what Spike just said. How can something be funky, not bad funky, but disco funky...I mean that's not stricty possi- No, not going there, Angel scolded himself.

"Its strange, I've never seen this label on Peanut Butter before. Its either new or unheard of" Spike said, still inspecting the Peanut butter with increasing interest.

Angel poured his and Spike's blood into mugs and shoved them into the microwave.

"I'm not surprised, that Peanut Butter was here before I was" Angel said as he walked past Spike into the bedroom.

"I thought you said you didn't know how old it was!" Spike shouted angrily as he threw the Peanut Butter into the trash while shuddering at the after taste it left.

"I did and I don't. I don't know how old it is because it was here before I was" Angel corrected, grinning at the annoyed look on Spike's face.

"So instead of telling me that the Peanut Butter has been there for God knows how long, you stood there and watched me, no, TOLD ME! To taste the bloody thing, am I right?" At Angels nod Spike clenched his jaw. I will not lose it, Spike thought to himself. I won't....I really won't...Oh who am I kidding!

"YOU!....You know what? Words cannot describe what you are to me at the moment. So what you are going to do is march into that kitchen, remove any items which are out of date, been here longer than you have or have congealed stuff around it, on it or in it. Is that clear Peaches!" Spike shouted angrily before he sighed at the look on Angel's face.

"Yes Angel, I am aware that I am naked apart from the socks I am wearing. I don't care what you think, I am just as much intimidating naked as I am dressed" Spike said, shoving Angel into the kitchen as he burst out laughing.

"Well as much as I love this beautiful sight," Angel grabbed Spike's arse which made him release a very unmanly yelp of surprise, "Xander and Giles are coming over to check this place out and I don't want them getting an eyeful of my boys arse! So get on some clothes you!" Angel told him, returning back into the bedroom.

"But I do have clothes on!" Spike said and wiggled his sock clad toes.

Angel shook his head and threw Spike some boxers, which hit head squarely in the face and when they fell showed the scowling face of one annoyed vampire.

"Now that was uncalled for," Spike muttered as he put on Angels oversized, black silk boxers only to discover black tissue paper stuffed into the crotch area. Spike looked at Angel incredulously and shook his head while Angel looked at him confused.

"What?" Angel asked when Spike started shaking his head and laughing at his clueless state.

"I always knew you had an ego but this is going too far mate" Spike replyed, patting at the crotch area. When it finally clicked Angel went beat red and coughed nervously. It didn't help when Spike pulled out said tissue paper and threw them at his head.

"Angel, when are you going to learn that no matter how much tissue paper you stick down there it's not ever going to show through your Armani pants. Hint: Wear Leather!" Spike said, patting Angel on the back and smirking at his discomfort.

"Oh and since I seem to have no clothing anymore since someone decided todestroy them all last night said person can go out and get me new clothes" Spike spoke happily, flopping down on the recliner and sticking his hands down the sides to look for the remote.

"I am not going out to get you new clothing" Angel protested weakly.

"I'm not the one who was so bloody horny that he decided that patience was not a vital thing in life, well unlife. I could go out like this if you want" Spike suggested, pulling out the remote from one of the sides of the recliner and also pulling out a cheesey wotsit. Spike looked at it, sniffed it, then thought it better to not push his luck with food anymore and threw it over his shoulder.

Angel stamped his feet, "Fine! But don't blame me when I get you something other than black!" Angel yelled in annoyance while grabbing his duster.

"Whatever pet, just remember you're the one who has to be seen with me!" Spike yelled back as the elevator doors closed.

Spike scoffed while flickering through the channels and muttered, "While he's at it he should get a T-Shirt saying 'WARNING: Mood swing imminent within next 3 minutes!" Spike settled down onto the recliner, making himself comfortable.

"Oh and Spike! Just thought I'd let you know that someone who stayed here before me had a taste for Peanut butter. He was here ten years ago though!" Angels voice drifted from the elevator shaft, amusement clear in his voice.

Spike turned a sickly green colour before he bolted for the bathroom.

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WOLFRAM AND HART, MAIN ENTRANCE:

"Hell-o!" Xander whistled as he circled the lobby of Wolfram and Hart, Giles following his steps closely.

"I mean wow! Who'd have thought that deadman himself could own a place like this. I wonder who he shagged to get it" Xander wondered, walking up to the front desk where he could see the back of a persons head.

"I'm sure Angel didn't have to 'shag' anyone Xander. Although I am a bit unsure as to why Angel owns a law firm, an Evil one at that" Giles said, looking around nervously for anything out of the ordinary.

"Excuse me?" Xander asked the woman as she swiveled around to face him, nail file in hand.

"Er yeah?" She replyed distainfully, trying not to stare at Xander's eye-patch.

"Do you know where I can find Angel's office?" Xander asked, shiftly on his feet as the woman stared at his eye-patch. She sniffed before returning to file her nails.

"There's a notice board over there, have a look. I don't get paid enough to tell people where they have to go. I take calls, take mail and get food. That's all" She responded, sticking a piece of bubblegum in her mouth and chewing noisily. Xander blinked at her dismissal and turned to face Giles while miming a long 'Ok' with his lips.

"I really hope all the receptionists and assisstants aren't that ditsy" Xander said to Giles as they walked over and peared at the notice board by the stairs.

"Giles, Xander! I didn't realize you'd be here so early" Angel commented, walking over with a bundle of shopping bags.

"Why are you here early?" Angel asked suspiciously, shifting the bags in his arms and staring at Xander's eye-patch.

"No reason. Just heard that Dead Boy Junior was here and unalive so thought we'd come by early. That's not a problem is it?" Xander replyed, he would have laughed at Angel trying not to drop every bag he was holding, if Angel wasn't staring at his eye-patch with interest.

"Oh. That's erm...great" Oh lord why did they have to come early, it's bad enough they were coming over at all!, Angel thought as he tried not to sound rude as he spoke. He also tried to remove his eyes from Xander's eye-patch by staring at Giles, but his eye's had a mind of their own.

"Well follow me to my santuary where Spike is sitting on the couch in my boxer shorts and his socks. There was some...unpleasantness where all his clothing was destroyed and I had to buy him some more" Angel said, shuffling over to the elevator in front of the Giles and Xander and pushing the button.

As the doors opened they walked in, the doors closed and the bottoms of all the bags Angel was holding split open making everything drop on their feet.

Angel looked down and sighed, "That was not supposed to happen... I just got a hold on them" Angel moaned, pouting.

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Well that's the first part of my humour fic, complete randomness! Hehe

I made everyone have a obsession with Xander's eye-patch because things like that stick out and people do take notice even though they try not to notice.

Well please Read and Review to let me know what you think!

Hugs!

AmethystxX