Disclaimer: OK I know it sounds weird but read it, it kind of works. I don't own any of the characters in this story with the exception of Olli, Ronny Demonic and Mad Jack. Open all hours (a UK comedy series from the 1970s) is from Will Clarke and owned by the BBC and Buffy is from the fantastic Joss Whedon and owned by Fox so please don't sue me. I hope this brings a smile to some people's faces.

WARNING. Open All Hours plays on the fact that Arkwright has a stutter and uses it as a comic effect and true to the series I have taken some of that aspect into this fic. If you are offended by this, this fic may not be as enjoyable for you. Also there are some blatant innuendos taken from the series.

HELLMOUTH OPEN ALL HOURS
(Chapter III)

That night the slayer, the witch, and Granville closed up under the watchful eye of the stuttering shopkeeper. It was deemed necessary that the two American girls were familiar with the shop and it's procedures before any slaying took place. "B-b-b-besides" said Arkwright, "If you're going to be l-l-living here without rent, you're going to h-h-have to work for it."

Granville gave them some entertainment after 'old misery guts' left for his liaison with the nurse. They found that he was almost as funny as Xander given half a chance and a decent entrance line. They laughed while they worked and ended getting the shop closed in ten minutes between them. Almost a third of the time it usually took the young man alone.

He also turned out to be an excellent cook, when they sat down to their evening feast it really was a meal fit for a Queen. He'd done sausages, peas and mashed potato for the main course, with his own secret gravy recipe, then, "in honour of his guests" an all American apple pie that sent the taste buds to heaven and back again.

By the time they'd finished Granville was filling them in on the regular customers and their quirks.

"There's, Mrs Featherstone."

"The Black Widow?" Willow interrupted.

"That's her. She only ever smiles when she's thinking of his majesty. She's one of those one's who are stuck in the 1800's." He grinned. "She won't like you too being behind the counter, which, in my humble opinion, is one more reason to have you here."

This received a smile from both Willow and Kennedy.

"Then there's the bread man, randy little blighter, convinced that if a woman doesn't fall for his lines they're not normal."

"Always got a girlfriend then?"

"Never actually seen a woman fall for him. To be honest the only woman I've ever seen him round the town with is his mother."

"All talk then. We've met those before."

"Uncle says 'He d-d-drives around town like f-family planner'" He scraped his plate for the last remnants of the apple pie while the women laughed. Then he resumed the narrative. "Mr Ronald will want to talk to my uncle about his problems with the wife, Mr Pickerdyke, the tailor, always comes in on the off chance of catching someone who's suit needs mending or replacing. They've got a deal going; every pound that Pickerdyke gets from business from this shop, my uncle gets ten pence. Then Mrs Johnson comes in to beat a loaf of bread to a pulp everyday. Wavy Mavis, you saw the tail end of a half hour conversation as you came in. The others you'll get to know the longer you stay."

"What do you do for fun around here?"

"Wind up droopy drawers."

"I meant once you finish in the shop at night."

"I don't . . . do anything that is, there's nowhere really open at that time of night."

Willow felt a little sorry for the young man, he was really a cute guy, it was a shame he didn't get out. She smiled. "We'll find something; my girl can find a hot party in a forest."

Kennedy looked deadly serious for a second, "She's not kidding. I did it two months ago in Shropshire, on the Welsh border. Killer DJ, it was in a barn." She laughed.

"Now, he must have set up a gym somewhere if he's a field watcher." Willow looked at Granville. "She gets cranky if she doesn't work out before bed."

"Don't know about the gym but there's a space probably big enough to do a workout in the cellar, if I move a few boxes."

"Lead the way."

The cellar was larger than they expected, there was boxes of stock down there that wouldn't fit in the stock room strewn over the floor but, between Granville and Kennedy, with Willow organising them and sorting the stock into some semblance of order, most of the floor space was cleared.

Kennedy and Willow did a bow staff workout with a couple of broom handles and then the Slayer did a quick aerobic workout. Granville watched in awe as they went about the routine. The nearest he'd been to people of this skill in fighting was watching the screen at his local cinema. He'd always admired the actors but thought the fluidity with which they moved was a myth but now he witnessed it first hand he was almost hypnotised by it.

When they'd finished their exercises and, at the young man's suggestion, returned to the kitchen for a cup of warm milk, Kennedy seemed to be watching him intently.

"I've either spilt something down me pinny, you think I'm a demon, or my pullover is changing colour very suddenly. Which is it?"

"None of the above." She looked again at him and it felt like she was looking into his soul. "I was just thinking"

"I try to avoid that" Granville looked worried "Do it for too long and, if you are anything like me, it'll become painful. Anyway, it's time we got to bed, 'his nibs' will be back in a while and we've got to get up in the morning to open up."

As he lead them back up to the living space of the building, Granville didn't hear a word from the either of the lodgers. He reasoned it must have been a long day for them and that they were probably tired. What he would have heard, if he'd suddenly been able to listen to the thoughts flowing between the lovers was the tail end of a conversation.

…….we should help him.>

Help him what?>

Look at him Wil, He's not getting what he wants out of life here.>

You are right there but what can do?>

I'm thinking about it. Something will inspire me.>

Willow smiled almost imperceptivity. My Slayer forming a plan?>

She might be.> The smile was returned My Goddess will have to wait and see>

A/N

Another chapter done and dusted. Hope you like.

Please Read and Review, ANY & ALL COMMENTS ARE WELCOME even flames.

More on its way when I've got some time to write it out.

Keep Smiling!

RIGS