Disclaimer: Shalom, hallellem, shalom, hallellem.

Warning: Cussing and a whole lot of innuendos.

Again, my thanks to the reviewers! I love you guys. Seriously.

Alesca Munroe: Whoa! Are you British?

Clueless97: We love disturbing!

Terra Rain: High-five! I'm also an inconsistent gamer. And awww, I love you too.

A.S. Annik: Hey, ya think I should make it a three-partner relationship?

Gabriel of Dreams-Yume Chan: And I shall give you!

Promise: Hehehehe. Laugh with me!

Ranma Higurashi: And here is the update ya wanted!

Cross My Heart: Yippee! This is sexy. How?

Yeah, this story will finally have some sort of plot. And if it doesn't suit me, just tell me in the reviews and I'll drop the whole plot thing. Since, yeah, I have no grasp on the plot…thing.

And new pairings: Aeris and Yuffie. Hercules and Cloud…Which is a one-sided thing. I think.

Tadaa.

Hey. I'm turning punk. I keep saying 'yeah' and 'thing'.

"Face it, honey. You're gay."

Cloud pouted at Aeris.

He was so not gay. Okay, maybe he did check out other guys, but that was because…uh…he liked their clothes. Yeah, that's it. He definitely liked their clothes. Yup. Clothes. He was into clothes. He was.

Aeris watched her friend sink further into denial.

She gave a sigh of frustration. She had been suckered into making Cloud come out of the closet. Damn Yuffie and her manipulative ways.

Then a man walked by dressed in leather. Aeris' eyes followed him. She grinned.

"Hey, Cloud. Look. Hot, isn't he?"

Distracted, Cloud looked up. He perked up. (Again, funny pun.)

"Yeah. Looks sexy in leather."

The man stopped, obviously having heard the conversation. He turned around and stared at them incredulously.

Cloud blushed. Curses. He was caught.

Aeris grinned at him.

"I'm not gay. Just…uh…I'm a fashion consultant!"

Aeris cursed. Damn it all, the blonde was still denying everything.

The man raised an eyebrow. He turned and went on.

Their eyes followed him. Very hot ass.

"Um…miss? You're Orgasm," said the waiter handing her the cake, effectively destroying the mood for hunting. Cloud snickered at the name.

Aeris rolled her eyes. "You are so immature."

Cloud snatched the cake before she got to it. He shook his head at her, "Nu-uh, girlfriend. Remember? Diet."

Aeris scowled at him.



Whap!

The scantily dressed woman then turned and stomped to the door.

"Dude, that chic just slapped you," said Cid, ever the obvious one.

Leon huffed. Hmph. Women.

"…I mean, just smacked you right in the face right in front of the whole frickin' restaurant…" rambled Cid on.

Leon ignored him.

Bang! A scantily dressed man walked in, slamming the door, and charged over to their table.

Leon cursed.

Slap!

The man hmphed and said to the crowd staring, "Goddamn cheating bastard." With his nose in the air, he angrily sauntered back outside.

Leon huffed again. Men.

Cid stared after the retreating back. "Dude, that dude just bitch-slapped you…" and on and on.

Leon considered strangling his friend. No. He needed the blonde to pay for the food.



The man's jaw fell down. Again.

Cloud had just flashed his red thong. His tight shirt had ridden up while he was enjoying his Orgasm.

The man whose name was Hercules was slightly offended by this. He was a very conventional man and he insisted the fact that men shouldn't wear female's clothing. But…Hades, why was it so hot in here?



Leon's cheek was throbbing. He'd been given an ice pack and he was trying to soothe his pain with it.

Apparently, five angry lovers slapping the same man was not uncommon in the restaurant, as the waiter had not even raised an eyebrow.

But then, Leon ate here.

Cid rolled his eyes at Leon. "You whore."

Leon scowled at him.



Cloud was wearing a shirt that said, "Fuck me."

It was typed in large red letters at the back and had an arrow pointing downwards.

Cloud does not know this. Aeris had shoved it on him and he hadn't been able to look at it properly.

He does know that everyone had been staring at him. Was he that sexy? Purr.

And he knows that he is still a very straight man. Really.

Damn, this Orgasm was really good.



Aeris was desperate to get Cloud a boyfriend. It wasn't healthy repressing himself. Besides, Yuffie had promised her something. And she was desperate to get that something.

That was why she had forced the blonde to wear the "Fuck me" shirt. Hopefully someone would. Someone male.

Then she could get the damn tape, give it to Yuffie, and then get that something. That something had sounded so promising. Rarr.

She began to fantasize about Yuffie. Ooh. Crotchless thong. Wooh!

Meanwhile, Cloud was enjoying the Orgasm. Very much.



"Dude, stop checking the blonde out."

Without looking from his view, Leon whapped his friend on the back.

"Fuck, that hurts!"



Aeris jolted herself from any more fantasy when a woman slipped money into the blonde's thong.

The "Fuck me" shirt was working…Especially with the red thong.

Aeris was glad she made the blonde wear both.

People, left and right, had started to slip money into his thong. There were some who'd slipped in pieces of paper with their number on it.

And the blonde was too blissful with his Orgasm to really notice. Or he probably didn't care and was preening under the attention.

It was probably the latter.



Oh, hell yeah. Cloud was becoming very rich. And he really was that sexy.

But he was still straight.



Hercules stood up and walked to the door. He passed by the blissful blonde and tried to discretely slip his number into the thong. He'd seen others do the same. He was determined to do it as well.

It failed.