Chapter 17: I Can't Take This Anymore

"I don't know, we haven't really confirmed anything quite yet..." I said, a small smile permanent plastered on my face. Natasha sighed dramatically on the other end of the line, laughing lightly.

"Well, even so, I'm really happy for you, Angie," she said seriously and I got a strange content sensation in my stomach, something that seemed to be happening very often recently, "You deserve to be happy."

"Thanks, Natasha," I responded happily, "I really mean it. And you deserve to be happy too..."

"What's that supposed to mean?" I could tell by the tone of her voice she was probably arching an eyebrow right now.

"It means Two-Bit. Don't act like you guys aren't completely into each other; the white word can tell."

There was a scandalized huff but it just made my grin wider. Just then, I heard my window open. I turned to see Johnny climbing in and quickly muttered a goodbye to Natasha before hanging up the phone.

"Hey," Johnny almost whispered, sliding the window shut behind him.

"No trouble?" I asked concernedly, going over to him for a long hug. He wrapped his slim arms around my shoulders and sighed into my hair; God, I was so happy to be able to do this kind of stuff again.

"Nah, my mom was the only one home and of course she didn't notice," he answered, running the tips of his fingers down to my shoulder blades and holding on there. I looked up at those big black eyes and frowned at the melancholy tone in his voice.

"Johnny.." I began, ready to launch into a full front pep talk, but he just pulled me into his shoulder agin and kissed the top of my forehead.

"It's okay, I don't care...I've got you and that's all that matters."

And how could any girl in her right mind argue with that?

This had been the routine for about a week now. Three days after making up, Johnny had knocked on my bedroom window around midnight, shivering so much his hands were shaking as they smoothed my hair back away from my face. I had groggily asked him what was wrong, and after a long moment of silence, he'd merely shook his dark head and muttered that it was cold. I wanted to ask why we hadn't just gone to the Curtis house where he was more than welcome but I didn't for a number of reasons--mostly because I wanted him to be there no matter what my mother would say if he she found him on my floor the next morning. Of course she didn't have the chance to because before the sun had even fully risen, Johnny was sliding his jean jacket back on and kissing me for the first time in a month before climbing out my window. The next right was the same, with the same excuse and same gentle kiss in the morning, as were the next five nights. Each morning though the kiss would be different; either it would last longer or get deeper or his hands would move from tilting up my chin to cupping my cheeks. They had become the center of my thoughts and certainly what I looked forward to, the most during this late-night visits.

Johnny shrugged off his jacket and sat down on my bed, crossing his legs, and I sat down next to him.

"Sorry I came so early," he said, still speaking in a low when my dad would get home."

I nodded and told him it was okay. His words caught me a bit off guard though; before, he'd always used the weather as his excuse for crashing at my house the past few nights. Both of us had desperately avoided the real reason for his comings and goings and now he was so blatantly venturing into uncomfortable territory.

His hair hung across his eyes as he picked up a picture frame that lay by my foot on its front. He turned it over and by looking over his shoulder, I saw that it was a color picture of the two of us that Ponyboy had drawn for me God knows when. It was of Johnny and I holding hands outside in the vacant lot during a football game they'd been playing. It was actually a drawing of a picture Soda had taken of me, Johnny, Two-Bit, Dally, and Pony before they actually started a serious game. Everyone had gathered around as soon as the middle Curtis brother had brought out Darry's camera but Pony had taken them all out, only leaving Johnny and I alone on the bench because (according to him) it captured us together too perfectly to pass up. In the photograph, I'd been simply smiling at the camera, apparently happy to have Johnny's fingers entangled with mine. He was looking down at me with the tiniest hint of a grin on his lips, his bangs hovering over his eyes as usual.

Ponyboy's sketch had resided on my carpet for quite some time, upside down for the sake of pushing everything and anything reminiscent of Johnny out of my mind, and now Johnny staring at it in his hands.

"This is really good..." he mumbled and was about to return it to its original position before I stopped him.

"I wanna see it again now," I explained, taking the frame out of his hands and setting it on my bedside table. We both stared at it in silence for a long moment when I felt a warmth envelop my hand. I averted my gaze to Johnny, who was looking back at me with the same expression on his face that he'd bore that day at the lot.

"I really missed you," he said, squeezing my hand and smiling slightly.

"Me too," I agreed, leaning my head on his shoulder. We stayed in that position for a while until he spoke again.

"Angie?"

"Hmm?" I was too content in the warmth of his worn t-shirt to actual look at him.

"Remember that time at the movies when I said I needed to tell you some thing?"

I nodded. "And thanks to two select people, you never got the chance?"

"God, don't remind me," he joked and we both chuckled as we reminisced over the turn out of that night, "But yeah, I had wanted to you then that..."

"Uh-huh?" I ran my thumb over the back of his hand in encouragement; I'd always wondered about this in the back of my mind.

"I was gonna tell you that I just really," he exhaled deeply, "care about you, Angelina, and I would never do anything to hurt you...Except, I already have now, but I just hope you could forgive me for that..."

I sat up abruptly at these last words and wrapped my arms around Johnny's neck, hugging him close.

"Really, Johnny, I already have," I assured him, burying my face in the crook of his neck, "But it's not your fault, okay? It's not your fault."

"Okay?" I repeated, pulling back slightly to look into his eyes. He just I looked up at me, sadly, and then away. "Johnny...?"

"Angie, I..." he paused and sniffled harshly, "I can't fucking take this anymore. He...I can't take what he does to me."

I stared at his watering eyes for what seemed like an eternity, waiting for him to continue. He'd never cursed like that in front of me, I'd never seen him really angry, and God...I never even knew about his dad before.

"I'm not going to take it, Angie. I think I--I almost think I love you, and this is the first time I've ever even thought about feeling that way about someone, especially since I haven't known you as long as anyone else," he took my hands in his and held them firmly, "and there's now way in hell I'm going to let my father screw this up for me again."

I knew by his eyes, the way his hands felt over mine, and the feeling of his lips crushed against my own in the next second that he was as serious as he would ever be.

Okay, okay, a filler, I know...but this is all I have at the moment and I wanted to give you guys a little something to hang on to for the time being. Thanks for all of you who haven't forgotten this story, and especially Alley Le Fay for her idea...One more chapter (maybe a two part, but hopefully, I'll put it all into one) to go.

Really, I feel guilty for this being so short after so long, but...yeah, review, perty please!