The Grocery Garden Series

Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN THE XFILES! IT BELONGS TO CC AND 1013 PRODUCTIONS!

Rating: PG-13 for later chapters

Archieve: do you really want to? Fine I don't care just tell me.

The Grocery Garden Series

Mulder carefully scampered down the aisles in Grocery Garden, gun drawn. The innocent bystanders watching closely from behind. His eyes shift around until he reaches the frozen product aisle. He shoves his gun at a yogurt box and shouts,

"WHERE ARE THE SMOOTHIES!"

A random mother covers her child's eyes and they slowly back away.

"I always hated the raspberry ones." Mulder said, pulling the gun away, and moving further down the product line. He stops for a second, the whole grocery mart is quiet. Suddenly! Mulder turns around fiercely to the bread and fires seven continues shots, while shouting NOOOOO! And falling in slow motion. When he hits the ground his foot gets twisted on a shelf, and he struggles for survival! The products go flying, and one orange smoothie falls on his face.

"I WIN! MAN OVER DAIRY PRODUCT TRIUMPHENT PROVAILS!" Mulder screams madly. He stands up , and his eyes begin to shift.

"This IS'NT over."

Checkout line

Mulder steps up to pimply teen, Joe, and carefully slides the smoothie (which he has bound and gagged) over in Joe's direction.

"You have inherited the prophecy." Mulder whispers, eyes still shifting, watching behind him for mass egg reinforcements. Pimply teen Joe runs the smoothie over the scanner, and putts it in a plastic bag.

"WE WILL CONCURE!" Mulder yells, giving Joe a ten, grabbing his prey and running away, arms flailing about.

Joe is left dazed and confused.

Mulder's car

Mulder's eyes are kept fully on the road, but every few seconds, one would slowly shift to the passengers seat, where Mulder has strapped in the smoothie for a rough ride.

"I'm watching you" he says menacingly.

Mulder's apartment

Mulder slips in through the door carefully, and throws the smoothie on a random kitchen chair. He turns the main light off, the screws a bulb in the ceiling on. His kitchen resembles an interrogation room. Mulder sits down, and stares at the smoothie for a straight 20 minuets. He then reaches over and slaps the product, but it seems to have cut him!

"I WILL NOT HAVE THAT IN MY COURT!" he yells, pulling out his gun. "IT'S OVER NOW SMOOTHIE BOY!" Mulder fires 3 more shots, and orange smoothie splatters all over the walls. "IM GONNA FINISH YOU OFF!" Mulder grabs a glass and a straw and eats the smoothie ALL UP! But alas, all is not ok!

"Oh.........uh-oh! DAMN YOU SMOOTHIE! DAMN YOU!!" He grabs his stomach tightly and sits in a fetal position and yells out "HE'S FIGHTING FROM THE INSIDE OUT!"

Scully walks in, not surprised at the awkward sight.

"Orange smoothie again, Mulder?" she asks.

"Yes." Mulder says, his puppy face on. "Scully"

"Yeah, Mulder?" she asks.

"This is NOT over."

inciting music as we fade out

Watch out for part two, Reyes v.s. the pop-tarts!