A/n: written whimsically. Warning: Attempts to be funny, so laugh

Disclaimer: I don't own Yugioh, or the winged dragon of love.

Introducing your favorite, Yami the most ROMANTIC guy in the universe, both the world & after world!

"(distant) is this thing on? It is? Ahem.

"(uses rich deep, sexy voice) Women are like the delicate flowers on the ridge of the Nile, they should be nurtured with just the right amount of water, sun, and charm. No, not "charm" is in "magical charm" as in those P-parry Hotter---what?……don't interrupt me; I'm talking, aibou. Anyway, as I was saying. They need to be grown and raised up and lifted, so they feel that way. No, not the flowers, aibou! Wo-men! It's called a metaphor! Sheesh….

"Anyway, it is okay if you are nervous in the first date. She is probably, too. If she is not, make her feel nervous. That way, you'll match up faster than a Memory game. How to do this is: look as unfriendly and bored as possible. Wait for the twinkle of uncertainty on her eye. Which you should compliment, by the way. No, not her uncertainty; her eyes. Say it looks like…..as blue as the Dark Magician's. No, not the Dark Magician's…..the Dark Magician's Girl. It would TOO make sense, aibou, there's both girls! NO, not the Dark Magician and the Dark Magician Girl, your date! They're both girls!--ah, forget it. say what you like. Conversation is very important, to converse well. If she compliments you, or if the conversation runs dry, embarrass your hikari by saying he took ALL MORNING to get dressed.

"Attire is very important. If you know you look good, then she does, too. Wear your shiniest, tightest leather pants. Both are important. No, not both pant legs, though that is important, too. It has to be so tight, it has to be skintight, so much that you wince when sit down, at the restaurant table. But it is worth it, for your lovely vision of blushing loveliness. And it is okay to let her see you wince, it triggers the instinctive, Mother-like sympathetic reaction on your female friend. Unless she's a heartless bitch. No, not your mother, your date----is this thing on?

(sigh) "Well, anyway. You are to look as foreboding as possible, in your skintight leather pants, creating the effect of desirable-ness yet with just a hint of priveleged attainable-ness. The candles must be lit, or lights dimmed, curtains drawn. Not too dark, until you can't see your food right in front of you, though. There must be just the right amount of glow, so it reflects in her eyes, and subtlety highlights her hair. Slowly, carefully, as if it were a privilege to hold her hand, slide your hand across the table. Gaze lovingly into her eyes, and using your husky, sensitive voice, ask if you'd like to do something 'that involves just the two of you alone.' While she is leaning forward on her elbows, move to clear the table off, smiling meaningfully.

"Then pull out your cards and shuffle them. If she doesn't want to, ask someone else. Or say, "Can we be friends?"

Warning of advice: Watch out for the glass of water in the face---!"

SPLASH!

TBC? If not, this is one shot.

A/n: (hands him towel) What'd ja think? …..R&R