GUUUUUESSSSSSSSS WHAT!!!!!! That's right, the annoying girl that brought you Kakashi and the Packing, and Sasuke's Snow Problem and let's not forget—Throwing Sanity into the Wind is BACK with yet another strange demented humor fic!!
I apologize to kashisenshey right now. Mostly because this doesn't involving Sakura bashing. ;; If you read this, I shall incorporate as much damage to ALL of them as possible.
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto damnit. If I did, Sasuke would be DEAD!!
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Zabuza-Sensei
Chapter 1: Attendance
--
A man with a headband tied sideways on his head, and bandages tied around the lower part of his face marched and pouted... which looked more like an evil dog chewing on shoes... as he walked through the halls to get to a classroom, a boy with long hair trailing behind him.
"Zabuza-san," the boy insisted, he looked to be around 7. "It won't be that bad!"
"Shut it Haku, I don't want to listen to your reasoning's—no matter how reasonable they are," the man snarled. The boy drew back a little while the man kept walking. The man stopped and sighed. "Come on Haku, we're already late!" Haku skipped merrily beside him.
"You want to make a good impression! So you have to smile!" Haku instructed, Zabuza looked at him, and gave him the creepiest smile Haku had ever seen in his life—even though it was hidden behind the bandages. "Erm... forget it..." Haku sweat dropped slightly. Zabuza rolled his eyes and opened the newly attended to door.
"So... shall we go scare some shillings?" Zabuza said slyly.
"Oh please, let's," Haku said dryly. For a 7 year old girl-look-alike he certainly had an attitude. Zabuza wandered into the room to see it in mass chaos. Haku made a small, but cute, noise and hid behind Zabuza, while the latter gave a compulsive twitch.
"IN YOUR SEATS!!!" even the paper airplanes dropped instantly to the floor. The children in the room, two years younger than Haku, scrambled to their seats. "Very good shillings—I mean children," Zabuza corrected. They all stared at him. Zabuza coughed and walked to the front of the room.
"Right so, I'll be taking your brats attendance to start," Zabuza said. "When I call your names say 'I'm here Zabuza-sensei please don't kill me.'"
"Or you can just say 'Here'," Haku stated happily. Zabuza glared at Haku and looked down at the list in front of him.
"Aburame Shino," Zabuza waited a few minutes then looked up. A small boy with sunglasses and a trench coat was holding up his hand. "Damn it! Say something!" He twitched.
"Ah... Shino-san, could you say here before Zabuza-san blows a gasket?" Haku asked the boy. Shino frowned and shook his head. Haku glanced at Zabuza, who was twitching uncontrollably and would probably explode soon. "Ah, never mind. Zabuza-san, please remember the calming exercises..."
"Calming..." Zabuza breathed in and out through his nose, and was calm again. "Akimichi Chouji."
"M'm merefup," another boy said, his mouthful of chips.
"NO EATING IN MY CLASS ROOM!!" Zabuza exploded at the poor 5 year old. His eyes became all watery and he looked absolutely adorable!! Except Zabuza thought he was fat and ugly. "Curse you children of Konoha..."
"Ah... Zabuza-san, please stop scaring the children!!" Haku squeaked unhappily. Zabuza looked down at his cute little assistant-like-thing and almost melted—almost. I mean, he is evil and all.
"Fine, fine," he said dismissively. "Only because you asked so nicely Haku." Haku smiled. "Haruno Sakura?"
"Here," said a pink haired girl. Zabuza stared at her for a few minutes. Her hair insulted his very being!! IT WAS PINK!!
"Hyuuga Hinata," he began again gruffly.
"Huh-here, Zabuza-san," a young girl squeaked in fear. Zabuza glared at her, just because he felt like it. Hinata sank in her seat and covered her head.
"Ah, how I love to scare children in the morning," Zabuza hummed to himself before continuing. "Inuzuka Kiba?"
"HEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRREEE!!!" a boy with a dog on his head yelled. The puppy barked. "Akamaru's here too," he said happily, ignoring the evilly evil glare he was receiving from Zabuza.
"Ah... Zabuza-san," Haku said timidly.
"Nara Shikamaru," Zabuza called out, ignoring Haku. Waiting a few moments he glared at all the children. "NARA SHIKAMARU!!" a small snore came to his ears and Zabuza gave a compulsive twitch. Calmly he picked up the desk, and prepared himself to throw it.
"AHHHHH!!!! ZABUZA-SAN!!! WAIT!! PLEASE DON'T THROW A DESK AT HIM!!" Haku shouted lunging and clinging to Zabuza's arm. Zabuza thought for a moment, and replaced the table on the ground.
"You're right Haku, chalk eraser's hurt more," Zabuza said, picking up said object and throwing it at the sleeping boy, who woke with a start.
"I would say ow, but it's too troublesome," muttered the boy, rubbing where the projectile had hit his head.
"I should assume you're Nara Shikamaru?" Zabuza asked, almost calmly.
"Uh... yeah..." said the pineapple-head-shaped boy.
"Good." Zabuza made a mental note to throw more objects at him. "Uchiha Sasuke?"
"Here," said a cheerful young boy, waving his hand around. Zabuza made another mental note to crush his spirits.
"Uzumaki Naruto?" Zabuza suddenly regretted saying that name.
"I'M HEEEEEEERRRRRRREEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!" a blond boy shouted, dancing up on top his desk and flailing his arms around.
"Where the fuck did your energy come from?" Zabuza asked the boy.
"I don't know!! What's fuck mean?" Naruto asked, a huge smile on his face, but looking extremely cute and clueless. Let's all "Aww" now. Aww....
"Look it up in the dictionary, kid," Zabuza sweat dropped. Receiving a cute little glare from Haku that wasn't scary nor evil at all. Zabuza coughed and continued. "Yamanaka Ino?"
"Here!" a small blond girl called. Sakura, who sat right beside her turned to her.
"INO-CHAN!! You're last on the list!!" the pink haired girl gasped. Ino gasped too.
"That's HORRIBLE!" Ino said, like it was a death sentence. With that, the two started crying.
"This... could be a long week..." Zabuza sighed as the classroom returned to mass chaos. "YOU BRATS!! WHO SAID YOU COULD MOVE?!"
--
Wouldn't this be so adorable to watch?!
Okay, this only took me three months to write cough And it'll be a LONG time before any new chapter for it will come out ((my cousin is here, and I just started high school...)) but I shall write—from the people FOR THE PEOPLE!!
o.o And I shall skiddattle now... IN MY PIRATE COAT!!
. . . Can anyone explain why chalk erasers hurt more than desks?
I apologize to kashisenshey right now. Mostly because this doesn't involving Sakura bashing. ;; If you read this, I shall incorporate as much damage to ALL of them as possible.
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto damnit. If I did, Sasuke would be DEAD!!
--
Zabuza-Sensei
Chapter 1: Attendance
--
A man with a headband tied sideways on his head, and bandages tied around the lower part of his face marched and pouted... which looked more like an evil dog chewing on shoes... as he walked through the halls to get to a classroom, a boy with long hair trailing behind him.
"Zabuza-san," the boy insisted, he looked to be around 7. "It won't be that bad!"
"Shut it Haku, I don't want to listen to your reasoning's—no matter how reasonable they are," the man snarled. The boy drew back a little while the man kept walking. The man stopped and sighed. "Come on Haku, we're already late!" Haku skipped merrily beside him.
"You want to make a good impression! So you have to smile!" Haku instructed, Zabuza looked at him, and gave him the creepiest smile Haku had ever seen in his life—even though it was hidden behind the bandages. "Erm... forget it..." Haku sweat dropped slightly. Zabuza rolled his eyes and opened the newly attended to door.
"So... shall we go scare some shillings?" Zabuza said slyly.
"Oh please, let's," Haku said dryly. For a 7 year old girl-look-alike he certainly had an attitude. Zabuza wandered into the room to see it in mass chaos. Haku made a small, but cute, noise and hid behind Zabuza, while the latter gave a compulsive twitch.
"IN YOUR SEATS!!!" even the paper airplanes dropped instantly to the floor. The children in the room, two years younger than Haku, scrambled to their seats. "Very good shillings—I mean children," Zabuza corrected. They all stared at him. Zabuza coughed and walked to the front of the room.
"Right so, I'll be taking your brats attendance to start," Zabuza said. "When I call your names say 'I'm here Zabuza-sensei please don't kill me.'"
"Or you can just say 'Here'," Haku stated happily. Zabuza glared at Haku and looked down at the list in front of him.
"Aburame Shino," Zabuza waited a few minutes then looked up. A small boy with sunglasses and a trench coat was holding up his hand. "Damn it! Say something!" He twitched.
"Ah... Shino-san, could you say here before Zabuza-san blows a gasket?" Haku asked the boy. Shino frowned and shook his head. Haku glanced at Zabuza, who was twitching uncontrollably and would probably explode soon. "Ah, never mind. Zabuza-san, please remember the calming exercises..."
"Calming..." Zabuza breathed in and out through his nose, and was calm again. "Akimichi Chouji."
"M'm merefup," another boy said, his mouthful of chips.
"NO EATING IN MY CLASS ROOM!!" Zabuza exploded at the poor 5 year old. His eyes became all watery and he looked absolutely adorable!! Except Zabuza thought he was fat and ugly. "Curse you children of Konoha..."
"Ah... Zabuza-san, please stop scaring the children!!" Haku squeaked unhappily. Zabuza looked down at his cute little assistant-like-thing and almost melted—almost. I mean, he is evil and all.
"Fine, fine," he said dismissively. "Only because you asked so nicely Haku." Haku smiled. "Haruno Sakura?"
"Here," said a pink haired girl. Zabuza stared at her for a few minutes. Her hair insulted his very being!! IT WAS PINK!!
"Hyuuga Hinata," he began again gruffly.
"Huh-here, Zabuza-san," a young girl squeaked in fear. Zabuza glared at her, just because he felt like it. Hinata sank in her seat and covered her head.
"Ah, how I love to scare children in the morning," Zabuza hummed to himself before continuing. "Inuzuka Kiba?"
"HEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRREEE!!!" a boy with a dog on his head yelled. The puppy barked. "Akamaru's here too," he said happily, ignoring the evilly evil glare he was receiving from Zabuza.
"Ah... Zabuza-san," Haku said timidly.
"Nara Shikamaru," Zabuza called out, ignoring Haku. Waiting a few moments he glared at all the children. "NARA SHIKAMARU!!" a small snore came to his ears and Zabuza gave a compulsive twitch. Calmly he picked up the desk, and prepared himself to throw it.
"AHHHHH!!!! ZABUZA-SAN!!! WAIT!! PLEASE DON'T THROW A DESK AT HIM!!" Haku shouted lunging and clinging to Zabuza's arm. Zabuza thought for a moment, and replaced the table on the ground.
"You're right Haku, chalk eraser's hurt more," Zabuza said, picking up said object and throwing it at the sleeping boy, who woke with a start.
"I would say ow, but it's too troublesome," muttered the boy, rubbing where the projectile had hit his head.
"I should assume you're Nara Shikamaru?" Zabuza asked, almost calmly.
"Uh... yeah..." said the pineapple-head-shaped boy.
"Good." Zabuza made a mental note to throw more objects at him. "Uchiha Sasuke?"
"Here," said a cheerful young boy, waving his hand around. Zabuza made another mental note to crush his spirits.
"Uzumaki Naruto?" Zabuza suddenly regretted saying that name.
"I'M HEEEEEEERRRRRRREEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!" a blond boy shouted, dancing up on top his desk and flailing his arms around.
"Where the fuck did your energy come from?" Zabuza asked the boy.
"I don't know!! What's fuck mean?" Naruto asked, a huge smile on his face, but looking extremely cute and clueless. Let's all "Aww" now. Aww....
"Look it up in the dictionary, kid," Zabuza sweat dropped. Receiving a cute little glare from Haku that wasn't scary nor evil at all. Zabuza coughed and continued. "Yamanaka Ino?"
"Here!" a small blond girl called. Sakura, who sat right beside her turned to her.
"INO-CHAN!! You're last on the list!!" the pink haired girl gasped. Ino gasped too.
"That's HORRIBLE!" Ino said, like it was a death sentence. With that, the two started crying.
"This... could be a long week..." Zabuza sighed as the classroom returned to mass chaos. "YOU BRATS!! WHO SAID YOU COULD MOVE?!"
--
Wouldn't this be so adorable to watch?!
Okay, this only took me three months to write cough And it'll be a LONG time before any new chapter for it will come out ((my cousin is here, and I just started high school...)) but I shall write—from the people FOR THE PEOPLE!!
o.o And I shall skiddattle now... IN MY PIRATE COAT!!
. . . Can anyone explain why chalk erasers hurt more than desks?