Disclaimer: Everything you recognize is not mine, everything you don't recognize is all mine.
Rating: Rather mature subject, do be supervised while reading this, if not, don't say I didn't warn you!
A/N: Yeah...sorry it took me sooooo long to put this up...stuff sucks right now...so yeah...hopefully you understood and liked last chapter... To answer some questions: Yes! James' parents were killed with no leads...and the only way to get over it is ignoring it...for them...so...yeah...give 'em a break! lol
Lily slowly awoke, but didn't open her eyes. Her ears were doing the looking for her, that was all she needed for now. The door to the common room opened up quietly and footsteps, to where she lay, were quiet and soft. James; she knew they were him because he was quiet and thoughtful about how he took his steps, something she memorized about him since they became house mates. There was a gentle clang on the table, and the sweet aroma of coffee wafted to her nose, she smiled a bit and groaned opening her eyes. There was James, sitting on a vacant couch across from her, the smile began to fade from her face after she saw James wasn't looking at her and a melancholy feel surrounded him like a terrible cold.
"James...I'm...sorry that you're parents are...gone..." Lily didn't know how else to put it, she gripped at the coffee mug and took a cautious sip.
"There's no booze in there." Clearly he was avoiding the subject, but he had downed her expectations of there being alcohol in her coffee.
"Please talk to me, James," Lily was starting to get worried for him more as the time passed, "I know what you're going through, I'd like you to talk with me." He shifted his gaze towards her, every bit of sadness she felt was reflecting back at her.
"They were missing...for weeks, and no one knew, that's why no one was home, Lily. Gone, f'ing gone, then their bodies come up one day! I'm pissed!" James picked up his coffee cup and threw it into the fire, making it sizzle and crack; Lily jumped at his outburst and held onto her cup tighter.
Lily got up and set her coffee on the table and sat beside James and wrapped her arms around him, her cheek rested on his shoulder and her mouth close to his neck, everytime she breathed it would whisp across his neck, sending shivers throughout his entire body. She pulled a blanket off the edge of the couch and wrapped it around him, even though the fire was more than enough to keep them warm. Lily was very thankful that Dumbledore had given them the day off, she knew this day was going to be a change for them; not just losing their parents but she could feel a new attraction between them that she had forced to hide away.
James was content, he himself was guilty of slipping into daydreams and fantasies that he hoped would someday soon become a reality, but at this moment...he could care less, he was just happy to be there with her, being held this time. Am I slefish? He thought to himself while she cradled him and held him close.
"What about your family Lily? Aren't you heartbroken, too?" Lily thought for a moment and slowly shook her head no. James was surprised and leaned back to get a full look of her.
"Don't get me wrong, I loved my dad, but I haven't seen him since the end of 3rd year, and I was never invited to his wedding, so I never met my step mom or the boys they had; so things just got worse after mom and dad split, mom met Denis, and I've had plans to go live with my dad for a while, but never went through," James listened intently while she told her story.
"Petunia was there fucking Vernon all the time and mom was out drinking, Dennis was home with me." At this Lily looked down and a blush creeped onto her cheeks, she smiled slightly as James rubbed a comforting hand on her arm and draping the blanket over her shoulders too. "He often beat me, an inch away from death, but I'll live. Mom just thought I was clumsy, and Petunia, who witnessed it once before didn't say anything and said I probably deserved it."
She continued to tell her story, not looking at the horrifed look on James face. Lily was playing with her hands, obviously nervous about tell him when he hadn't even spoke a word to her best friends. James reached out and grabbed her hands; comforting her with the soft stroke of his thumb on her hand.
"The very recent beating was just after you kicked me out. I couldn't go anywhere so I went home and he came back."
Lily lifted up her shirt to show the old wound on her stomach from her bed. James inhaled slowly and softly traced the wound and her belly button with her fingers. Her body tensed and her heart rate increased; it took every bit of her will to keep her from going into a fantasy. What was the problem though? Why couldn't she just let herself succum to passon and temptation just once? James; James was the reason she couldn't, he was suffering too. He lost both of his parents whom he loved and knew. Unlike her, she knew very little of her father and his new wife and two sons, only a post card on her birthday and that was all. What seemed like hours was only moments, he pulled his hand away in time with Lily pulling her shirt down.
"That was from when I fell and hit my bed." She held out her wrist where a burn mark dominated a bit of her left hand. "From the oven, he tried to make me burn my hand off." James was shaking his head, and she smiled at his concern.
"This is terrible!" she nodded and the smile vanished.
"It gets worse." She lowered her head and weaved her fingers through her hair, finally she got through to a scar on her scalp. "He hit me with a frying pan because I broke his favorite glass."
James was baffled by this girls wounds but listened as she continued to explain everything. Lily pushed the blanket off her shoulders and stood up with her back to him. She pulled her shirt off, there were several scars and bumps on her back where her ribs were; covering her chest with her shirt she turned and showed him her collar bone where there was an abnormal bump compared to the other perfect one.
"He pushed me down the basement stairs, I hit a shelf of tools and paint and much more. I couldn't get up or move fast enough because the cement made my mind a little dislodged to what was happening. But I was able to dodge a bunch of nails and hammers that were going to hit my chest. The saw," James' eyes got wide and Lily smiled at his shock, "only landed a few inches from my head. A full can of paint fell and broke my collar bone, I rolled over, hitting the shelf again, making another can of paint fall, breaking 4 ribs." Lily put her shirt back on quickly and sat back down.
"How do you deal with this shit?! What about your mom; sister?" James was now shouting without realizing it.
"I deal with it because I just do. My mom doesn't know because she's either not home or drunk out of her fucking mind. My sister has to pretend she doesn't care otherwise she'd just beat too." She continued, "After a while our pretending of hatred became a reality..."
"You're sister's a stupid, selfish bitch!" Lily glared at him.
"She took me to the hospital after he pushed me down the stairs." James just blinked.
The entire rom was silent except for the gentle crack of the fire. Lily and James sat close, locked in eachothers gaze. Secretly they were imagining the same erotic thoughts and trying to keep them hidden--locked away forever. James knew he would either attack her or have to leave the room for an hour or more, but they were both too vunerable to deal with any sexual relationships coming between them. Lily drew her gaze away and reached for her coffee.
"You know," James started, breaking the silence, "we're going to have a ton of homework." Lily nodded, trying hard to get the coffee to go down without coming back up in the slightest.
"At least Dumbledore was kind enough to give us a day off." James smiled, "Oh well, I could care less about fucking school right now." She took another sip of coffee.
"It's late, you took a long nap." Lily ran a hand through her hair without looking at him.
"Once again, oh well and I don't care," Lily shrugged. " I think I'm gonna go see the girls, they're probably missing me." James nodded.
Lily stood up and walked out of the room, leaving James on the couch to wonder.