Li Shang's Dilemma

Summary:

Captain Li Shang is a young Chinese soldier with great skill, huge potential and "an impressive military lineage"- perfect to teach a bunch of hopeless peasant men to be soldiers to fight for their country. Shang is tough, strong and confident: until 'he' came along. Fa Ping.

Shang struggles to accept that he has feelings for that certain hopeless boy in his camp. This takes place during and after the movie.

Author Notes:

Heya! Just re-uploading the chapters; correcting mistakes, making them look nicer- stuff like that. Haven't changed the story though so don't worry (no matter how tempting it was to make these first few chapters longer!) Enjoy!

Old Author Notes:

Hey all. This is a fic about Shang and his feelings for Mulan before he knew her as Mulan. Sorry that the chapters are short. Tell me what you think please and I'll try and improve.

Disclaimer:

By the way, as you already know I DO NOT OWN Mulan, DISNEY DOES!

Chapter 1: Unwanted feelings

The moon was surrounded by the velvet darkness by the time I allowed the recruits to return to their camp. They were getting better, but only slightly. Some showed no improvement at all, namely Fa Ping. He is the most un-warrior-like person I have ever had the misfortune of meeting. He is scrawny and clumsy, awkward and completely crazy. What kind of man talks to himself? He seemed far too young to be a warrior; his voice hasn't even broken properly yet. I might as well have him discharged.

This evening we trained by lifting up heavy rocks, testing endurance by carrying them as far as possible, improving our speed as well. At least the others were improving a little. Fa Ping just gets worse. For one thing he couldn't get the rock to budge an inch, then he tripped up on a tree root and fell into the others causing a few injuries because of the falling rocks. For the sake of the others I should have him discharged.

But I can't.

I don't know why, but I cannot look that boy in the face and say, "Go home."

I don't want him to go home. It's strange. I avoid looking at the boy now, because I get a feeling as though my stomach is doing somersaults when I do. And it annoys me. At first I thought he made me nauseous. But now, I'm not so sure. I'm beginning to question my sexuality. I am ashamed to be around the boy because of the fear that I will discover the answer to my questioning, and bring dishonour to my family.

That boy with his strangely shiny, soft-looking black hair and beautiful brown eyes. He is too pretty to be a normal boy. I prey that these feelings are brotherly, but, though I hate to admit it, they might be coming from my heart.