I don't own Shaman King

YOSH second Shaman King fic! Shonen ai set while they were looking for Patch, after they met up with Anna and the guys.

Now I know Yoh and Anna love each other, but I do think a big part of Yoh resents her greatly, and here he is. Also, they haven't shown how they met in the anime so I'm having fun. If they did in the manga I haven't gotten there yet so shush.

First Kiss

–

He was watching them. Again. How many nights had he spent, watching them like this? At least a week, or how long it has been since they met up. Ever since then they've been acting like that... no, he reckoned, it had to have started before. It was impossible for them to behave like that on such a short period of time.

He wasn't angry, though. He knew they were meant to be, ever since the man chose to stay with her. After everything they've been through, after all he was put through because of her, he chose to stay. All the better, the child thought, pulling his nose lightly as he stared momentarily at the moon. She deserved happiness. They both did.

When he looked at them again, his eyes widened slightly. They were standing close, far too close for his taste, yet he was nonetheless pleased to see strong arms surround her, providing more than just physical warmth and safety. Their lips connected, and even from that far away, he could tell the gentleness in which they kissed. A silvery aura as though surrounded them, making the boy feel ashamed of having witnessed such a private moment. One hand holding his spear, the other in his pocket, he began to seek a more viewless spot to brood in. Although it wasn't chance that he ended back there. He was worried.

No, he was jealous. Jealous of the one who managed to get into her heart, the heart which was previously his only shelter.

"Don't be stupid."

He scolded himself.

"It's not like she stopped loving you."

She just loves someone else too now, his bitter side commented.

"Bocchama?"

His spirit asked as it popped into view next to him, hovering next to his left shoulder.

"I'm all right, Bason. That was just... something I shouldn't have seen."

Tao ren sighed as he sat down again, hugging his knees to his chest. The boy's gaze wondered, though it was obvious he wasn't interested in the landscape, amazing as it was. His eyes spoke of a great inner turmoil, one not concerning the Shaman Fight, or Hao, or the X-Laws. It was the raging emotions of a young boy having just recently regained the ability not to hate who was forced to watch others show signs of love.

Another thing he was jealous of. Even if he wanted to show how he felt, he had no one to show it to. Or rather, he had... that person was just already attached.

"Ne, Bason…"

"Bocchama?"

"Did you ever have a first kiss?"

The small red Hitodama blushed, the ovals barely visible against the similarly colored spirit's cheeks.

"Bo… Bocchama…"

A small smile graced Ren's handsome features, as well as a slight blush.

"It's ok, forget it. Just a silly question…"

"I don't think it's silly."

The boy looked up quickly the find the one he nominated for leader leaning against a rock, staring carelessly at the stars.

"Yo, Yoh…"

Asakura Yoh grinned as he stood up, stretched lightly, and sat next to his friend. A small blue orb appeared next to him, signaling he was neither alone nor defenseless.

"Couldn't sleep, eh?"

He asked in his permanently sleepy voice.

"Something like that."

The two watched the stars in relative silence, their spirits not disturbing them.

"What's your excuse?"

"Hm?"

The clueless reply didn't invoke the rage filled reaction it once used to, as Ren long since got used to his comrade's attitude.

"Why aren't you asleep?"

"Saw you were up, decided to check on ya."

The blush on Ren's cheeks deepened and he looked away, though it was too dark to see either action.

"You shouldn't have."

"I wanted to."

It was the same happy tone, yet in a softer variation, one Ren never heard before.

"Idiot, you need your rest."

"Same to you."

"So we'll both be tired tomorrow."

"Can't be helped."

The Asakura boy flashed another one of his grins, and Ren chuckled.

"You really are unbelievable."

Another period of silence fell, one a bit awkward. The two spirits floated silently, exchanging glances. The Japanese samurai offered a reassuring smile, whereas the Chinese warrior was still worried.

"Don't worry. I'm sure nothing's wrong."

Before Bason could reply, however, the silence among the two living beings was broken.

"I meant what I said, you know."

Yoh said, looking up at the moon.

"What did you say?"

The Chinese boy blinked, his train of thoughts long since derailed.

"Even though Anna and I are engaged, we never kissed before."

Though it shouldn't have came as a shock to him, seeing how the future wife of the Shaman King treated her future husband, Ren was still surprised.

"Whenever we met, I ended up crying. Even lately, where it's gotten much better, she still acts tough towards me. Hardly a king word… if she'll touch me, it'll be to slap or smack me…"

Another thing which was obvious. Strangers knew how Anna treated Yoh. However, he never seemed to care all that much. Now, his usually carefree exterior was painted with sadness.

"You…"

"It's ok, really."

He was obviously lying, forcing on a fake grin.

"If it wasn't for her, I never would've gotten this strong."

"Sure you would've."

Yoh looked at him curiously, making the sharp haired boy look away.

"I once heard a saying… 'if someone is to get stronger, he will no matter what'. I know how strong you are. I refuse to believe it is all thanks to that demon woman."

"Ren…"

The sound of a young woman giggling drew all four's attention. Humans and spirits alike watched silently as Tao Jun happily walked hand in hand with Lee Pylong, heading back to where the group had set camp. Ren seemed rather distant and refused to keep looking.

"Well?"

He suddenly asked, catching Yoh by surprise.

"Still think it's not silly?"

"Now I know so."

There was silence again as both let it sink in.

"Ne, Yoh…"

"Nani?"

He usually wouldn't have asked. However, the boy felt oddly attached to his leader at the moment, and so jumped in.

"I know she wouldn't but… haven't you ever tried?"

"Tried what?"

"You know…"

The two Hitodamas tried to edge nearer, yet a glance from Ren sent both flying again.

Now alone, he sighed.

"Haven't you ever tired to kiss her?"

The blush which deepened enough to be seen and the guilty side glance were more than an answer.

"And you're alive to tell it?"

Ren chuckled.

"What, was she asleep?"

"No…"

The uncharacteristic sigh made the boy slightly regret the direction in which the conversation was heading, yet at the same time he was grateful to learn more about someone his life depended on.

"…it was a while after we met. I thought she was cute and tried to kiss her. She was this close to nurturing me."

The cries of pain were a clear indication the two spirits regretted having staying in hearing range.

"But that wasn't what bothered me."

"What, then?"

"It was what she said… 'don't even think about kissing me until you get stronger'."

Ren sighed. Even back then, Anna was still Anna.

"I really didn't know what she expected of me."

Yoh went on, seemingly to himself, while Ren listened as though they were the words of God.

"She didn't love the me back then. I can hardly tell if she likes me know."

"Don't be ridiculous, she came all this way for you."

"For me. Which me? Surely not the me I was. Is it for the me I am now? The me I will become? Or the me I'll never be?"

Ren could only stare. Never before had he seen Yoh this depressed! At that moment, he hated Anna. Despised her. Loathed her more than he did Hao, or the X-Laws, or his father back then. Sure, they were all doing things for their own selfish desires, but none were doing it for the sake of leading an easy life. And none were putting all the work on someone else's shoulders for the sake of that dream. Sure, Yoh wanted the same thing as her, but even for that dream, he fought! He fought with all his might, worked as hard as he could now so that he'd earn the peace in following years. It was rather ironic, but maybe that's what made it all the more admirable and heroic.

But Anna?

"I haven't tried to kiss her since."

The Chinese boy blinked as Yoh's voice brought him back to reality. Only then had he realized he took hold of his spear, no doubt to attack a certain Itako.

"W, why?"

His voice faltered lightly as he tried to regain his composure. Why was he that angry?

"Afraid she'd finish the job?"

"I don't know if I want someone like that to be my first kiss."

Stare. That's all he could do, stare until his eyes popped out.

It wasn't that he thought Yoh should go on. It was maddening to see him like that. But also silencing.

"She wants to be the Shaman King's wife. She believes I can become that Shaman King. Can I really? I mean, Hao and the X-Laws aside…"

A distant cry resembling "Lyzeeeeeerg" was heard, but neither paid attention.

"… I have you guys to fight."

Ren nodded. Out of the group he was the one who constantly kept that in mind. They were rivals, all sporting their own dreams. While he respected Yoh and his strength, he wasn't going to go down, not without a fight.

"So basically… a first kiss for you… would have to be with someone you know loves the current you, believes in you and would be there for you no matter what you choose to do?"

With each word he seemed more thoughtful, as though the words engraved themselves in both their hearts.

"Not just that. It has to be someone towards whom I feel the same."

Again, Ren nodded, before blinking as Yoh stood up.

"We might die before the sun rises… I don't want to think I wasted a minute…"

"Yoh?"

"Stand up, Ren."

Ren did as he was told, even though being left in the dark was starting to annoy him.

"You didn't have a first kiss, right?"

"I, isn't that obvious?"

"Close your eyes, Ren."

You said, turning to face him.

"Wha…"

"Do you trust me?"

The question moved between rhetoric and idiotic. Weren't they allies, sharing at least their immediate goal of reaching Patch? No, it was more, Ren though. Even when they would fight, they all knew it would be not as enemies, or even rivals. It would be as friends, testing both their own dreams as well as the ones they'd be facing.

"No, I just followed you here by chance."

Yoh chuckled as he took a step forward.

"Then close your eyes."

At that, Ren raised an eyebrow, but there was something in Yoh's expression, in his eyes, that told Ren that somehow, it'd all be alright.

So, taking a deep breath, Ren closed his eyes.

At first, nothing happened. Silence. For a moment, he thought Yoh had just left him there, when he heard a step made in his direction. Another one followed, as well as a soft giggle.

He felt Yoh's hands take his own, as well as Yoh's body heat, in indication the other Shaman was standing far too close.

"You really are cute like that."

"Wha…"

Unable to resist, Ren's eyes snapped open with every intention of wringing the other's neck, when the next thing he felt was Yoh's lips pressed against his.

Several confused moans rose from his throat, yet those too stopped as he felt Yoh's tongue gently caressing his own. It was an odd sensation and the sudden mixture of flavors gave him something to think about, rendering him rather motionless while the other seemed to be enjoying his tour or Ren's mouth.

Realization dawned upon him, penetrating the wall of enjoyment slowly yet surely; however, by the time his mind registered the meaning of what was going on, Yoh was already an inch away from his face, his hand caressing Ren's cheek gently.

"Maybe next time… You'll do more than just stand there."

Yoh said, an unexplained smile on his lips. Ren was too shocked to even try and understand if what he saw was hurt, sadness, anger… happiness, bliss, content… lust… or something else, something the other never let out before.

"Good night."

The taller boy said as he kissed the other's forehead, heading back to camp with his hands in his pockets. As he stared at him, hand moving from his forehead to his lips, the taste still lingering, Ren couldn't help but recall Yoh's earlier words, as well as his own.

So basically… a first kiss for you… would have to be with someone you know loves the current you, believes in you and would be there for you no matter what you choose to do?

A first kiss…

He blushed as the first phase of realization dawned upon him. The actual act.

Then came one meaning from Yoh's side. How you saw Ren. How Ren presented himself to Yoh. How Ren… loved… Yoh…

And then…

Not just that

Came the other.

It has to be someone towards whom I feel the same

A gentle warmth filling him, eyes closed, Ren clutched his chest in an almost aching manner, a mocking smile on his lips. Yoh, Anna, himself… towards which it was directed he knew not, not cared.

He might have been mocking life as he knew it, as he knew, without a doubt, that he suddenly changed.

He definitely was mocking the blue haired Ainu.

"Come on, Bason, let's go get some rest."

"Hai, Bocchama.'

The small spirit said quietly, obviously embarrassed.

They made their way back quietly to find Yoh already soundly asleep, curled up on the ground in what Ren deemed an adorable pose. Yawning, he pretty much collapsed, glancing occasionally at his other side.

The stars shining above him and his sister's giggles still ringing from not too far away, he closed his eyes, happy.

A first kiss…