Disclaimer: I don't own Sonic or Sega or Sponge bob, or my best friend's hamster; so don't unleash your lawyers on me. XD

Just to let you know, here are the pairings...

Knuckles and Tikal

Tails and Cream (that sounds like a food)

Shadow and Rouge

Cheese and Omochao

Sonic and Amy (later)

On with the fan fiction...

"Amy, I need my space, thank you" Sonic said. He was 'grieving' over Shadow's death from six months ago. Amy was breathing down his neck waiting for him to stop. "Are you, like, do now?" She asked. (Amy's a valley girl).

"No." Responded Sonic.

"Now?"

"NO."

"Now?!?"

"NO!"

"How about, like, now?"

"No! So just stop asking, faker!"

"Faker?"

"Yeah."

"That's, like Shadow's line and junk."

"I know, but he's dead, so it doesn't matter, I'm taking his line."

"You, like, sound stupid when you say that, your voice is too high pitched."

"Ok, well, leave me to my grieving, I still have two minutes and 46 seconds...44...43...42..."

"Like whatever". Scoffed Amy.

The view zooms out and then zooms in to somewhere in Southeast Asia. Stupid corny horror music plays in the background. We see a gloved hand connected to a black furry arm pop out of the ground.

Dun...Dun...Dunnnn

Back to Sonic

"Kay, I'm done! Lets go out to lunch with my peeps." Said Sonic

"Peeps? Sonic, are you like, hiding something from me? Are you like wanting to be black and junk? You are acting like Michael Jackson in reverse, oh, please don't get a nose job!" Amy said.

"Look, home boy don't play dat game, you dig?...hahaha, you fell for that! I don't want to be black, I just wanna be myself." Sonic said as he sung his theme song for SA2.

"Ugh, like whatever". Amy said.

Later

"Oh please forgive me if I am mistaken, but I do believe Cream's Cheese is in love" Tikal said.

"In love? Can chaos really fall in love?" Asked Rouge.

"Well sha, where do you think baby chaos come from?" Cream said.

"Ew, I'm eating, don't talk about that". Whined Tails.

"Oh don't be so immature." Scoffed Knuckles.

"So anyway, what's with Cheese?" Sonic asked.

Tails started giggling. "Cheese...what's with Cheese, Cheese Whiz! Cheese-ey!"

What is he smoking? Thought Knuckles.

"Bada ba ba ba, I'm luvin it!" Continued Tails. "I'm spppicy! Hearts stars, and horseshoes, clovers and blue moons, pots of gold and rainbows, and me red balloons! That's me lucky charms, they're magically delicious!"

Yeah, he's definitely on something. Knuckles thought.

"Can someone call a mental institution?" Rouge asked.

Anyway...

"So what the heck is up with the chao known as Cheese?" Sonic asked, while giving Tails the evil eye.

"I saw him holding hands with an Omochao. Wow, I never thought about it, but I hope the Omochao isn't a boy." Tikal said.

"Yeah, Cheese, like, kinda seems gay, his room is all color coordinated and he takes interest in interior design." Remarked Amy.

Tails burped loudly and fell asleep, resting his head on Cream's shoulder. "Sometimes, I worry about him". Cream said. "But right now, he's just so cute and peaceful and..."

Tails burped ever louder and said something about a girl named Jennifer.

"Umm, never mind..." Cream said sheepishly.

Suddenly, a loud 'ahem' was heard from the kitchen, and the door swung open. Everyone gasped and some corny 'scary' music played in the background. "Eggman" Sonic yelled.

"Sonic" Eggman said in a equally loud voice.

"Eggman"

"Sonic"

"Eggman"

"Sonic"

"Sponge bob" Said a high-pitched voice.

"Sponge bob?" Eggman and Sonic said in unison.

"Yeah". Sponge bob said. "The repeating of the person's name came from my show first...remember? Krabs, Plankton, Krabs! Plankton! Krabs! Sponge bob! So there, it's already copyrighted. "He muttered some profane words, gave Sonic and Eggman the finger, then turned around and left.

Silence

"Well that was like so totally weird". Amy said after a long and awkward silence.

"Aaaany way" Tikal said.

"Oh yeah". Said Eggman. "BWAHAHAHAHAHA...HA

"Ya know, that's a really lame entrance". Remarked Knuckles.

"Do you really think so?" The evil scientist asked.

"Yeah, try again."

"Fine".

Eggman trudged back into the kitchen to work on his entrance.

"God, he's stupid" Sonic said as he and the gang ran out of the restaurant. They didn't get to see the spectacular performance Eggman created, which included fireworks, dancing squirrels, Eggman's theme song sung by Usher, and other assorted things. When he finally came out of the kitchen and found no one in the restaurant, he scratched his had and said. "Shoulda seen this coming."

Back to South East Asia

We see Shadow brushing himself off and muttering words that if I told you this fanfic would be rated R. Then he said. "Stupid Eggman, stupid lizard, stupid squirrels...squirrels? How did that get in my script?

"Oh sorry, wrong fan fiction" The author said. (Me)

Any way...

"I'm going to kill Eggman if it's the last thing I do...wow, that's a really lame line". Shadow said. "God, this author must suck a writing fan fictions." Shadow grows a beard and long hair, and becomes a hippie. "Hey why the (beep) did you do that?" Shadow asked the author.

"Because I want to put you in your place, silly." I said.

"Chaos contr- owwwww!"Shadow was cut off by me putting duck tape on his mouth and then ripping it off. So the moral of the story is to not say Chaos Control to the person in charge of what you do next. Ok, lesson learned, right Shadow?

"Riiiiight" He said groggily. "Can we just get on with the fan fiction?"

Ok, back on track...

"I can't fight Eggman alone, and I don't have any allies...except Sonic, yeah, he can help me, now I shall embark on a journey that tests my strength and will power to find Sonic!" Corny adventure music plays in the background. "Hey, author, can you please get better music? How about Eye of the Tiger?" Asked Shadow. Eye of the Tiger starts playing in the background and Shadow does a happy dance. "Can we please stay on topic here?" I ask.

Back to Sonic

"I want a chili dog." Sonic said.

"What a surprise". Said Rouge sarcastically.

Everyone was ordering lunch at a new restaurant. Tails finally woke up and admitted to having something to drink even though he just turned ten. Now he's seriously hung over and everything is annoying him. "And sir, what would you like to eat? Er, do you want a Little Big Kid's menu?" The waiter asked Tails.

"I don't care what the (beep) I eat, just leave me alone, you (beep)." Tails replied.

"Wow, never knew Tails had such a colorful vocabulary." Remarked Knuckles.

"Look, I'll just take whatever Cream is having." Said Tails.

"And what will you be eating Miss. Cream?" Asked the waiter.

"Oh, I'm having poached fox." Cream answered.

Tails fell out of his chair and hit his head on the floor. Instead of getting up, he just laid there. Everyone thought he was unconscious, so they took him to the hospital, come to find out, he just fell asleep again. While the gang was walking to once again another restaurant, the sidewalk opened up and they all fell in. Tails started singing "I want to fly hiiiigh, la la la la la la laaaaaa la la, la." While everyone else was screaming. No one was hurt because there was a giant Sleep Number mattress to break their fall. "My number is 53, what's yours?" Tails asked.

"He's delusion-". Remarked Sonic. But he was cut off by a 'bwahahahaha laugh'

"Eggman" Sonic said.

Out of the darkness, Eggman walked up to them and said. "Sonic"

"Eggman".

"Sonic."

"Yar! Stop it! Why are we here Eggman?" Knuckles asked.

"Just listen". Eggman said.

He took a CD and popped it into a MP3 player that came out of nowhere. "I don't think you're ready, for this yet, I don't think you're ready, for this yet, I don't think you're ready for this, because my body's too bootylicious!" The music sang.

"NOOOOOOOO"! Everyone except Eggman yelled.

"Yes! Torture isn't it? This is my new approach, torture through music, but this is just the beginning, you all shall be my guinea pigs for my new machine, the Gender Blender. Muahahahahaha!

"But I'm an echidna" Knuckles whined.

"And what exactly is the Gender Blender?" Tikal asked.

"Torture through music now, questions later." Eggman said.

So Sonic, Knuckles, Tails, Amy, Rouge, Tikal, and Cream listened to terrible music and commercials for 3 hours straight including...

"Just...just...what you're looking for, Central Florida Toyota, it's just what you're looking for!"

And...

"Mattress Baaaarn, where you can get a good night's rest!"

And...

"I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want, I'll tell you what I want what I really really want, I want..." And other Spice Girls songs. The really sad part about that was that Tails knew the words, and he was enjoying the music...

Dun, Dun, Dunnnn!

Will the gang finally get away from Eggman's terrible choice of music? Is Cheese gay? Will Eggman ever tell what the Gender Bender is? Will Shadow ever get to Sonic? Will I stop asking questions because I'm the one with the answers? Make sure to put Sonic luver (me) on your author alert list so you can be one of the first to read Chapter Two: How many times Eggman can be stupid. Feel free to email me at or to talk about Sonic or anything else for that matter. Thank ya...bye!