Tears of Erised

Summary: Harry's greatest wish was to grow up with his parents, but he knows that that will never happen. Instead, he gets the next best thing – to get to know them. Now as a year that Harry thought would be bliss, turns out to be hard for him and almost no one trusts him. Especially his prankster father, James.

Spoilers: This is Post-HBP, so there will be mentions of the sixth book.

Ratings: PG-13 (Or T)

Pairings: Lily/James, Harry/Ginny, Sirius/OC, and mentions of Ron/Hermione

Warnings: Mentions of torture and some gore in the later chapters and language.

Disclaimer: Harry Potter isn't mine at all. I'll get over it.

(A/N: So, I'm back and I'm starting this story all over. I've gone back and added/changed a few things around and cleaned up my writing. Most of the chapters are the same, though.

And as a warning, I usually get the biggest writer's block. The next month and a half is pretty free for me, so I should get plenty of chapters up but there may be blank periods where I don't post anything at all. Sorry in advance! I'm just bad.

A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step – Lao-tzu

"Are you really sure you want to go through with this, Harry?"

Harry held back a frustrated scowl as he tapped his full trunk with his wand, making it shrink to the size of knut and he slipped it into a large pocket.

"Remus, this is the third time in twenty minutes that you've asked this and the answer is the same. Yes, I want to go through with this!"

The aged werewolf sighed as he handed Harry the rest of his things, which were already shrunk, and then just stood there, feeling very useless. "It's not safe and you're still wounded. Everyone knows you shouldn't be going off on your own, you've barely had time to recover! And you know the seeing charm takes a lot out of you."

This time, Harry did scowl and he turned to face Lupin.

"You of all people should know that I shouldn't be treated like a child and that's how I've been treated the last three months! Like a disabled child who can never be alone in a room, and I'm sick of it." He turned away from Lupin then and picked up a lavender colored potion in a vial before muttering, "Besides, Dumbledore was the one who said I have to do this…"

"Do you always do what a portrait tells you?"

"When it's a portrait of Dumbledore, yes!" Harry paused for a moment, calming himself down before speaking again. "We've been planning this for two months now, Remus and I can't change my mind now. I just… I just want a year of rest while still doing something, alright?"

Harry felt Lupin's hand on his shoulder, and he knew that the werewolf understood.

"Did you say your good byes to Ron and Hermione?" Lupin said and paused before adding, "And to Ginny?"

"I left them letters." He turned around to face Lupin again, the lavender potion still clutched in his hand.

"Speaking of letters, you're suppose to give this one to Dumbledore when you arrive." Lupin slipped a wrapped up piece of parchment into Harry's empty pocket. "And don't worry, Harry, we can clean up the wizarding world without you for a year. You do deserve a break, but we're all going to miss you."

"Just take care of Ginny for me, would you?" He hated himself for not telling Ginny about this, but he knew that if he did, he couldn't bear leaving her after saying good bye, even if she let him go or not.

"And you just take care of yourself."

Half grinning in sarcasm, Harry pulled the cork out of the potion vial. "Don't worry, I'll be back before you know it."

As Harry threw back his head to down the potion quickly and pointed his wand at himself, he barely heard Lupin's voice over the roar in his ears.

"I apologize in advance for your father!"

The incantation left his lips and all Harry was able to do to respond to Lupin's apology was give him a confused look before he was suddenly gone in a swirl of blue flames.

The flames were gone faster then they came and Lupin stood in a sorrowful silence that was soon interrupted by hurried footsteps coming up the stairs. The werewolf barely had enough time to turn his head before the door to Harry's bedroom was slammed open and there stood a furious woman, her messy red hair framing her face and she gripped a crumpled letter in her right hand. Still in her night gown, it looked as if she had just barged out of bed.

"Miss Weasley, what a pleasant surprise and so early in the morn –"

"Don't even start, Professor. Where he is?!" Ginny cut Lupin off and demanded in a voice just under a yell.

Lupin dropped his polite smile and looked sadly at the spot Harry was just standing in.

"I'm sorry, but he just left."

The sun was shining down that day; he could feel it blazing on his right cheek. But even though the rays were warm, the breeze that forced the leaves to rustle made it chilly anywhere in the shade. Everything was normal and calm, as if the swirl of blue flames that erupted on that spot just moments ago never happened.

Giving a soft sigh, Harry began to trek towards his destination – the Headmaster's office, of course.

He still had doubts about what he was doing, but it was too late. Almost everything was done and there was no point turning back now.

The soft click of wood on stone was heard as he walked through the halls mechanically. Small murmurs of words from teachers getting ready for the upcoming year also accompanied him as he traveled too slowly. His wish was to not run into anyone before getting to the Headmaster; because that was the only person he wanted to see right now. His stomach churned nervously at the thought of his beloved mentor alive again; he would be able to speak to something other then a portrait.

"Canary Cream," Harry said in an almost whisper and the gargoyle automatically moved very nosily. The boy quickly walked up the steps, his face still set in his usual frown.

He knocked very lightly.

"Come in," said a loud voice from the other side, a voice laced with curiosity and confusion. Harry knew that voice all to well, and with his stomach twisting even more, he opened the door to slip inside.

"I wasn't expecting anyone at this time. Please, come in and sit." The headmaster was positively glowing today.

Harry sat down in the cushy chair in front of the desk and stared in the direction of Dumbledore, fidgeting slightly.

"And I'd like to know who you are..." The simple statement was loaded with suspicion.

The boy quickly pulled out a letter and held it out for the old man.

"My name is Harry Winters and I'd like to attend your school. I've transferred from a small school in London, but since my Godfather died I decided to join a school that I've heard so many good things about."

Harry took a breath after that long sentence, and he could just imagine the twinkle in Dumbledore's eyes as he took the letter from him to read.

"Winters, hmm? Well, this letter does tell me something different but we'll keep that our secret."

Harry sat up straight at that. He had no idea what was inside of the letter, as he was told not to look at it, but what he heard made him nervous.

"Are you..." He started, but was interrupted.

"Yes, I'm burning this letter as we speak. We don't want any unwanted eyes on it, now do we?"

"Did it say anything important?"

"This and that, of course. Nothing too amazing, just that you needed a break from everything and supposedly, this school needs a protector. Do you plan on being that protector, Mr. Winters?" The obvious disbelief in those words was heard.

The boy nodded, but kept his head down as he did so.

"Good," Dumbledore said, still with a tad of disbelief, "Of course you are welcome here. You are a little too old to be a seventh year but since you skipped that year, I can make an exception. School starts on September the first and you will be sorted into your house then, after all of the first years."

"That's two weeks from now, am I correct?"

"You are, Mr. Winters. Now, if you'll excuse me, I am a little busy today. You will be able to find your way out of the school, or do you need any help?" It wasn't a sarcastic or ill question, Dumbledore honestly wanted to know if he needed help or not.

"I found my way in, and I can find my way out. Thank you for your time Headmaster, and I'll see you in September."

Harry stood and walked towards the door, careful not to run into any of the Professor's tables. As he opened the door to walk out, he was stopped.

"Mr. Winters, any chance that you could tell me what happened to your eyes?"

His back was to Dumbledore but he didn't move. After a moment of silence, Harry lifted his right hand but stopped and dropped the hand back to his side right before he was able to touch his eyes.

"Maybe sometime this year, Professor, but now is not the time."

The blind boy could almost see the old man nod his head in agreement as he walked from the office.