Epps Orders A Pizza
Summary: Read the title, it's fairly obvious
Disclaimer: I don't own it.
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The crew of the Arctic Warrior, and Jack, were all exceptionally quiet until Epps spoke in a chimbo-like voice.
"This boat is so cool. Let's go explore!"
No one answered.
"Ok so what do you guys want to do? Just sitting here is making me crazy and I'm already hearing voices, seeing blood drip down the wall, and this boat is almost tilted on its side."
"Epps are you ok?" Dodge asked.
"No I'm suffering from too many insanity effects, I'm bored, and hungry."
Then Jack decided to speak. "We're all hungry."
"Jack shut up! No one likes you!" Greer shouted from off in a corner.
"I want a pizza!" Some random member off the crew exclaimed.
"Ok I'll order one!" She then looked over and saw Katie. "Hi Katie. What do you want on your part of the pizza?"
The crew had no idea who or what Epps was talking to so they all moved a few feet away from her.
"Epps are you high?!?! I'M A GHOST YOU F'ING IDIOT!!!!!"
"Well sorry I was just trying to be nice. Jeez you don't have to snap like that. You should really go to some anger management classes."
"Screw you Epps!"
"Ok that's it! No pizza for the cranky ass ghost!"
"Fine I'm leaving now!" She then walked right through Dodge and disappeared.
"Ok… now that you've stopped talking to yourself… WHERE"S MY PIZZA?"
"Murphy you are muy impaciente! I'll order the pizza now, will that make you happy?"
"Yes."
Epps took out her cell phone and dialed a number. "Hello, Dominoes, I want to order three large pizzas. One cheese, one pepperoni, and one mushroom. I'm on the Antonia Graza in the middle of some ocean so come find me!"
Assuming that it was just a stupid practical joke, the guy from Dominoes started yelling at Epps. "That's impossible! Nobody's seen the Antonia Graza for forty years! Are you high or something?"
"Why does everyone keep asking me that?!?! No I'm not high and I AM on the Antonia Graza so just send me my damn pizzas or I'll be sure to get you fired!"
"Ok! Fine! The pizzas will be there in half an hour. Goodbye!"
Greer couldn't help but laugh at her. "Having trouble with the pizza guy there Epps?"
"Shut up Greer!" Five seconds passed. "I'm bored are you guys bored too 'cuz I'm bored. Are you bored, I am, are you 'cuz I am so freaking bored" She kept rambling like this until a mysterious doorbell rang.
"I'll get it!" Dodge answered 'the door' to see a delivery guy holding three pizzas standing there and he looked VERY mad.
"Here's you damn pizzas! That's $200 plus tip!
"Why in the world is it $200?"
"Because I had to rent a helicopter, fly out here and find you, and I still have to fly all the way back that's why!!!"
Murphy took out $200.01 from his wallet and threw it at the delivery guy. "Fine here's your money now leave before I hurt you."
The delivery guy looked at his shiny new penny. "Thanks so very much. I can buy a blade of grass with this."
"Would you just shut up and leave!" Epps yelled while eating her pizza.
"Gladly." He left so everyone went back to eating until Greer looked at his watch. "Oh my God it's two o'clock, time for my soap." He took a remote from a table and turned on a TV that came out of nowhere and they all watched Passions.
"Passions and pizza, life couldn't get any better," Epps said in the chimbo-like voice.
The theme song started playing so everyone started singing. "Breathe in breathe out you keep me alive you are the fire burning inside of-"
Katie couldn't stand their horrible singing so she yelled at them. "WOULD YOU PLEASE SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"Go away Katie!"
"Fine" She went away so everyone went back to watching Passions. Somehow an hour had passed and the show was over. Dodge was now staring at the TV screen in awe. "That was the best episode ever." Everyone was think the same thing. "I agree. It was the bestest episode ever."
Just then, a mysterious thing came out of the sky and killed everyone except Katie, who is already dead. "Finally some peace and quiet." She found some leftover pizza and she magically began to eat it. "Hehehehehehehehe!!! Stupid inferior humans!!!!!" She kept babbling on and on though no one could hear her but she don't care.
EL
FIN