Disclaimer: Sly Gojyo and clever Hakkai are not my inventions. They are the products of Kazuya Minekura's brilliant mind. I merely poke and prod at her genius and sigh a lot.

Warning: Yaoi. Slash. Sodomitic love. I don't know if that last one is a real word, but if the idea of guys mackin' on other guys makes you twitch (in the bad way) then flee this fic like King Arthur's knights from a bloodthirsty, homicidal white rabbit. Sorry, I just watched Monty Python and the Holy Grail.

RUN AWAY! RUN AWAY!

A/N: I got this idea when a guy spilled a cup of Starbucks in the middle of my Religions of the World class. Thanks, man.

-Two for Tea-

Gojyo sniffled, huffing in annoyance. His limbs ached, his head was throbbing, and worst of all, his nose and throat were thick with slimy, suffocating mucus. Gojyo closed his eyes, trying to shut out the offensive light that made his temples pound harder. A dense, congested cough forced its way out of his lungs, and he rolled over in the bed that Hakkai had officiously tucked him into. Said over-concerned, over-motherly, overbearing youkai could be heard humming at the kitchen counter, a short distance away. Soft clinks and thuds penetrated Gojyo's thoughts, and he could almost envision Hakkai with his apron on, reaching up to grab a ceramic plate out of the cupboard.

Gojyo snorted. It was just as well that Hakkai was taking such attentive care of him. This entire mess was all his fault anyway. It had been raining particularly hard, an icy, bone-chilling downpour that was out of place in May, and Gojyo had been worried about Hakkai. After biting his lip and forgetting to pay attention to the Poker game before him for several minutes, he slammed down his cards, made his excuses, and headed out the door. The weather had been pleasant on the way to the tavern, and so he hadn't thought to bring a jacket. He kept a brisk pace as he slogged through the freezing rain, and had to stop himself from running outright on numerous occasions, telling himself that Hakkai was fine. Sure, the rain made Hakkai drag out a horrific, guilt-drenched past and wallow in it with such intensity as would indicate an apparent obsession with self-torture, but it wasn't as if it had never rained before. Hakkai would be alright, he had repeated to himself unconvincingly, before abandoning his reservations and sprinting the rest of the way home.

He had burst through the door to find the lights all off, that eerily pale light that came with storms glowing in the window and making the room seem even more empty. Gojyo strode forward and then abruptly pivoted to the right, seeing a crouching figure in the shadows. Hakkai was hunched over in the corner, one knee up and head hanging down brokenly. Sucking in a slow breath through his nostrils, Gojyo walked over and stood before him. Hakkai said nothing, but kept his eys on the barren floor, his shoulders shaking slightly from the crying. Without a word, Gojyo had leaned down and grabbed the collar of Hakkai's green shirt with both hands, pulling Hakkai to his feet. The expression of Hakkai's tear-streaked face was one of unabashed astonishment; his mouth was parted in surprise.

The two had gazed levelly at each other in this position for what seemed to be countless hours, but was really no more than tow or three seconds, until Gojyo broke the silence. "Just forget about it," he said roughly, but quietly, "Forget it, Hakkai. You're here now."

He let his hands fall to his side and shoved them into his now-damp pockets, stepping back casually. "And get me some dinner. A guy runs home to make sure a friend hasn't gone and offed himself yet, you'd think the friend could at least have a little dinner ready for him." Hakkai broke into a smile, almost a real one, and he went about making dinner for Gojyo.

The kappa had found himself sneezing two days later.

"Man," he heard himself call out irritably, "Why do I have to be the one to get sick?"

Hakkai looked over his shoulder, stirring cheerfully. "Why should anyone else? You're the one who went out in the rain and got yourself soaked."

"It was a nice day out!" Gojyo exclaimed defensively. "How was I supposed to know it was going to rain?! And besides, I don't see how you get to laugh about it. You're the reason I'm sick!"

"Who said I was laughing about it? I can see that this is a grave matter and can assure you that I am taking it very seriously," Hakkai said solemnly, turning around with a flawlessly sober expression. His face was perfectly true to his words, without so much as a twitch in his smile, but mirth was shining in his eyes.

"Oh, shut up," pouted Gojyo. "I hate you."

Hakkai laughed.

When he had finished preparing dinner, which consisted of a hearty stew and heaping bowls of steaming rice, he set it on a tray and carried it over to Gojyo's bed.

"Oh dear," he sighed, straightening up, "I forgot the tea."

"Tea?" Gojyo whined, "Come on, you know I don't drink that stuff. Gimme a beer."

"Absolutely not," Hakkai commanded firmly, "Tea for the invalid." Gojyo scowled.

"Although maybe I'll have a beer myself," Hakkai added thoughtfully.

"You wouldn't! You can't drink a man's beer when he can't have any himself! It's against all rules of polite society!" Gojyo shouted, sitting up in his bed.

"Since when have you been well-versed in the ways of polite society, Gojyo? Have you been reading my books?" came the teasing reply.

"Haha, very funny," the redhead grumbled, coughing a little. "You won't do it. You don't even drink!"

"I might," Hakkai taunted, "Just this once."

"Aren't you supposed to be making me feel better?"

"I'm only concerned with improving your physical well-being. As far as your mental state goes, your ego could always use a bit of bruising."

"Hmph. Some friend." Gojyo intoned sarcastically, before digging into his rice with so much vigor that he caused a pile of starch-white grains to fall over the edge of the bowl and onto the tray. After making a considerable dent in his rice, he fished around in his soup for a bit of meat. Settling on a plump chunk of pork, he raised his chopsticks to his lips and then yelped loudly, dropping the chopsticks and the pork.

"Ouch," he hissed, sucking in air between his teeth, "Man, that's hot."

"Oh, I apologize," said Hakkai sympathetically, "I should have warned you. I suppose I should mention that this tea is also quite hot, so you might want to let it sit for a few minutes." Hakkai picked up the tea in question and brought it over to Gojyo. However, just as Hakkai arrived at the bed, Gojyo lifted himself up from retrieving his chopsticks and crashed right into the cup of tea Hakkai was holding out to him. The hot brown tea spilled all over Hakkai's hand and soaked into the forearm of his sleeve, missing Gojyo by a sparse few centimeters.

After a startled pause, both men began talking at once.

"– Man, Hakkai I'm really sorry– "
"– I'll have this cleaned up right away–"
"–It's my fault, I should've watched what I was doing–"
"– I'm entirely to blame; I should've moved out of the way–"
"– Geez, your sleeve's all wet and everything–"
"– It's nothing; I'll make you some more tea–"
"– I'm so sorry!" they both finished in unison. Then Gojyo gave Hakkai a lopsided grin, which was returned in full.

"I'll just get you another cup of tea, then," Hakkai said softly.

Gojyo shrugged and said, "Don't worry about it. Just leave the cup here and wash off."

Hakkai nodded and Gojyo leaned back into his pillow. Gojyo watched lazily as Hakkai set the cup down onto the tray, a drop of tea rolling off Hakkai's knuckle and 'plip'-ing onto it's surface.

Hakkai turned to go. On impulse, Gojyo shot up and grabbed Hakkai's dripping wrist, licking a curious trail from the base of his palm to the tip of his middle finger. Hakkai gave a breathy sort of gasp. Still gripping Hakkai's wrist, Gojyo looked up consideringly. "You know, that wasn't half-bad. I could drink tea more often."

Hakkai sighed and rolled his eyes, his neck and cheeks slightly pink. "Really, Gojyo." The brunette shook his wrist free and flicked Gojyo on the nose with his tea-soaked finger, the wet 'thwock' resonating in Gojyo's congested sinuses. "You get away with far too much."

Then Hakkai removed the tray from Gojyo's stomach, leaned over, and licked an answering trail up Gojyo's neck. Gojyo made an odd sort of screech and hit the back of his skull on the headboard. Hakkai tried in vain to contain his laughter as Gojyo gripped his head violently and glowered at his snickering comrade, seething in pain and blushing furiously.

"That's the second headache that's your fault," he muttered darkly, still rubbing his head.

Hakkai chuckled. "You would think that, after all the ladies you've been with, a simple little gesture of affection like that wouldn't have caused anywhere near such a flustered reaction."

"You're damn annoying when you're confident," Gojyo said grouchily.

"And you're surprisingly cute when you're angry and embarassed," Hakkai retorted.

Gojyo's blush deepened with his scowl.

-o-

Three days later, Hakkai came down with a cold. "Ah, what a pity," he sighed, "Someone will have to take care of me."

As Gojyo picked him up and deposited him gently on the mattress, Hakkai inquired playfully, "Why, Gojyo, I thought you said you would never carry another man to bed?"

Gojyo nodded, pulling off brown leather shoes. "I did. You're not another man."

Hakkai let out a puff of air in amusement. "Very clever."

"I try."

Gojyo then dutifully tucked Hakkai in, pulling the comforter up to his neck. However, instead of straightening up and walking away, Gojyo put his hands on either side of Hakkai's head and leaned over him, cascading red hair almost tickling Hakkai's ears and cheeks.

"Should I make you some tea?" Gojyo asked with mock politeness, a wicked grin spreading across his face.

Hakkai looked up at him with a straight face. "Do you plan on spilling any?"

Goyo's grin widened.

"Maybe."

"...I'll take an Earl Grey, please."

-fin-

A/N: Eeeheeheehee, the caffeine was really getting to me at the end. I love Flustered!Gojyo and QuaintlyFlirtatious!Hakkai. Sigh. GojyoxHakkai fluff makes me so happy, although during less caffeinated hours I'm not half as likely to confess any appreciation of fluff. I love SanzoxGoku even more, but I find it harder to write. Gojyo and Hakkai are just so much more susceptible to romance. Goku's all young and Sanzo's all bitchy and Anti. I swear I'll do it one of these days.

If you like, or don't like, please leave a review; they make me so giddy. Sugar-induced love to you all.

-blue meridian