Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. (Sasuke: Of course you don't. I do.) Chibi turns to Sasuke. No, you don't, baka. Naruto passes by. (Naruto: Anou sa… Why is there a fight cloud in here?)
A/N: Chibi dusts her hands off, smirking at a KO-ed Sasuke. Finally had this up… I'm really sorry for the extreme delay, but I was really busy these past months… I barely have time for myself lately… But what the heck… At least I finished the chapter… which is, by the way, an uber late birthday gift for Mel. Enjoy!
Filling the Void
Chapter 11: Catalyst
Why?
Tears fell heavily, like pearls from a necklace that abruptly snapped.
I hated you, too…
He had promised himself years ago that he wouldn't cry…
Please… Don't die!
And yet he couldn't stop now.
Don't leave me!
His chest was hurting, his heart painfully clutched by an invisible hand; the torment seemingly lasting forever… Pain unlike any other pricked his senses. Pain that was born of his heart… The loss of something—he didn't even know of what exactly. He was falling, falling, deeply into the abyss of his grief.
Slowly, surely, the pain went away as he fell endlessly in the dark. His eyes open, yet seeing nothing. His ears straining yet heard nary a sound. He felt nothing, numb as though he was the one dying.
And perhaps he was.
But then…
"I'LL NEVER FORGIVE YOU!"
From the ashes, he rose. A fire that had been long gone returned, carrying with it a feeling so intense; so terrifying in its ferocity. Rage welled up and drowned him in its insane fury, and he did nothing but embrace it as he faced the enemy, the limp form still in the protective hold of his arms.
"I'LL KILL YOU!"
Sasuke had stopped breathing.
It's a shame, really. To lose that life of his much too early…
"He landed a blow on me, and without flinching, died to protect you. To protect a precious person, knowing it was a trap, he was able to still jump in. He is a shinobi who deserves respect."
Haku dusted himself off as he stood. He looked at the morose scene before him, a twinge of sympathy jolting in his heart for the sweet boy he had met in the clearing.
"Is this your first time dealing with the loss of a friend? Ah, but this is the way of the shinobi…"
"Shut up…"
The reply was half-hearted, spoken as though the blond was not really there; yet somehow the words poured out as naturally as it would have in any other circumstance. The grief-stricken boy leaned closer to his comrade, his friend… And stopped.
An explosion of heat caught him unawares. It spiraled upwards, dancing dangerously, licking at the ice mirrors, threatening their existence.
W-what? This chakra is…
The red chakra lashed out in animalistic fury, thriving in taking its chaotic paths, reaching out to destroy anything and everything.
It's impossible for chakra to change like this! And such an evil chakra…
Hissing sounds sizzled in his ears. Haku's attention was drawn to the wounds he had inflicted upon the object of his surprise.
Th-they're healing! What is this boy…?
Slitted eyes stared into his own, a bloodthirsty red that held a lingering promise of pain and death.
Right then and there, Haku knew it was the end for him.
He fought back: attacked and defended, but the actions were mechanical. They were no match for each of the other's passionate hits, fueled by such strong emotions. At that moment, the drive and purpose of the blond far outweighed his own.
He was ready, he supposed, to die…
I cannot defeat this boy, Zabuza-san…
His mask crumbled and fell off, revealing a beautiful face marred by such a defeated expression.
He had failed.
He watched his opponent's fist approach.
"You're from that time…"
Surprised, Haku asked, "Why did you stop?"
When Naruto didn't answer, he continued, "I killed your precious friend… Yet you can't kill me?"
Naruto looked back at his fallen comrade.
"Dammit!"
Haku picked himself up, recovering from the punch.
"What happened to your intensity? You can't kill me with that…"
"Can you understand the pain of simply living? Zabuza has no need for a weak shinobi. You have taken away my sole reason for existing."
Naruto, of course, didn't understand.
"Why for a guy like that? He's a bad guy who takes money from a criminal! Is that eyebrow-less freak the only important person to you?"
Haku retold his sad tale, and the wounds he thought had healed reopened. However much he told himself he'd moved on, the pain was still there. It had always been there.
"I realized the most painful thing… that in this world, I am a person who is unwanted."
He looked straight into the eyes of the blond, recognizing the understanding in the depths of those blue pools. Understanding that could only come from experience.
"Naruto-kun… Please... Kill me."
Hesitation caused the blond to not take action.
"I'm sorry that you will have to stain your hands…"
"Is… Is this the only way?"
"Yes."
He watched as the other boy slowly built his courage until he steeled his resolve.
"If we'd met under different circumstances, we could've become friends…"
Haku smiled, serenity showing in his face as he waited for his end to come.
"Thank you."
You will become strong.
"My future is death? Hn. You're wrong again, Kakashi."
Only his shinobi instincts allowed him to utter those words despite the shock of it all.
"Great job, Haku…"
He knew for sure, Haku was dead by now…
"I sure picked up something useful! Giving me this final chance!"
Zabuza readied himself to strike through both his adversary and the boy.
His Haku…
He was torn whether to feel angry or relieved when Kakashi decided to teleport himself and the boy away from the threat of his mutilation.
Kakashi gently put the boy down and closed the dead eyes, and the older shinobis fought on, Zabuza wondering why he can't even catch up with the jounin. Kakashi had rendered his arms useless, only to find that the bastard Gatou had planned everything all along.
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING, YOU BASTARD!"
Zabuza turned his attention to the blond boy who was being held back by his sensei.
"Say something too! Weren't you guys friends?"
"Shut up, kid. Haku is dead."
Still, the young one persisted.
"Don't you feel anything at all? Weren't you two always together?"
"I only used him, just as Gatou used me. I have no regrets."
"Do you really mean that? He really loved you that much! Do you really not feel anything?" Tears welled up in Naruto's eyes. "If I become as strong as you, will I really become like you? He threw away his life for you!"
The dull ache in his heart pulsed stronger and stronger at each of the boy's words. He felt his control slipping…
"Without his own dream… To die as a tool… That's just too sad…"
It became too much for him, and he succumbed to the urge to grieve.
"Kid," he swallowed the lump in his throat, "You don't need to say any more…"
He allowed himself, just that once, to let go of his emotions.
"You may be right, kid… A shinobi is still a human. We may not be able to become emotionless tools… I've lost."
Yes, he had lost everything. But he wouldn't go down just like that. He was the Demon of the Mist, after all.
"Kid, let me borrow your kunai…"
Gripping the weapon with his teeth, the Demon once again proved his prowess, plowing through hundreds of hired killers just to get to Gatou and cut his head off.
This is goodbye, Haku…
Thank you for everything.
I'm sorry…
His weakness became his strength. The loss of his loved one served as the catalyst to his rage. To finally come to terms with his true emotions at a time like this… Fate was just too cruel.
Beaten and unable to move, he laid on the ground. Seeing Kakashi, he gave his final request.
"I want to see his face…"
"Sure." Kakashi carried him to where Haku was.
Gratefulness shone in his eyes. "Thank you… Kakashi."
He turned to his side, staring at the deceptively serene face.
You've always been by my side…
I'd like to be by your side at the end…
He raised his hand to the other's face, stroking the younger one's cheek. He spoke out loud, hoping that Haku would somehow hear him.
"If I could… I'd like to go to the same place as you…"
Snow fell on Haku's eye and melted; the water flowing down his cheek as though he was crying tears of joy and acceptance.
Finding an odd sense of peace in his heart, Zabuza breathed his last.
Two weeks had passed… Two weeks since the event that clearly marked a significant growth of Team Seven as ninjas, as individuals and as a team. And now they found themselves standing over the graves of their former enemies, paying their respects.
"Kakashi-sensei…"
The jounin looked at Sakura's back as the girl called his attention.
"Were these two correct about ninjas?"
She voiced her doubts; the beginnings of the hard acceptance of a cold truth.
"A shinobi isn't supposed to pursue his own goals, and becoming the country's tool is most important. It's the same for Konoha…"
The unusually quiet blond spoke up, "Is that what it really means to become a true ninja?" His tone was that of distaste. "You know what? I don't like it!"
Sasuke seemed to be curious as well, Sakura noted.
"You believe that, too?" he asked his teacher.
"Well, each and every ninja has to live while dealing with that issue…"
Silence met Kakashi's reply. Sakura honestly didn't know what to say to that. Her naïve perception of the world and her role in it was shattered so abruptly. She was sure this was just as well with her teammates.
"Che. I've just decided."
Sakura blinked at that. She wondered what the dobe was on about now.
"I'm going to be a ninja in my own way!"
She didn't quite understand the way she felt about Naruto right then. She had to admit, he was surprisingly mature for the most part of the mission. Her distaste for him and his behavior had significantly lessened since that time when they were training. For him to lower his pride and ask for advice? For him to care, even for his enemy? For him to say something like that with full conviction?
There must be more to him than this… Sakura realized.
She resolved to try to get to know him better; he was still, after all, a teammate. She would never look at him as she does at Sasuke, but to be friends with him could be nice.
The next day found the team and their hosts at the bridge, saying their goodbyes.
"Thanks to you, we've completed the bridge… but this is super sad…" said Tazuna.
Polite when needed, Kakashi answered, "Thank you for everything."
"Don't worry! We'll come to visit!" Naruto piped up.
Inari's shoulders started to shake. "Y-you'd better…"
"Inari! You're sad, right? It's alright to cry!" Sakura noticed that Naruto said his bit louder than he intended.
"I'm not going to cry! But Naruto, you can cry, too!"
Naruto turned and started to walk away, leaving nothing but a half-hearted, "Fine…" and, "Later…" to the child.
Geez… They're like twins…
The kunoichi sweat-dropped, seeing that both were trying to cry soundlessly. But she smiled at the change in the little boy.
The change that was caused by Naruto…
She tuned out whatever it was Naruto was saying as soon as she caught sight of the ever-brooding Uchiha, walking alongside their sensei. She blushed, all thoughts zoning in 'Kyaaa! Sasuke-kun!' mode.
"Sasuke, how about a date when we get back?"
Well, old habits die hard.
"YAY! LET'S GET HOME FAST SO I CAN HAVE RAMEN WITH IRUKA-SENSEI!"
Kakashi grinned at the blond's mention of his lover. How he would love to have a homecoming party…
His happy crescent eyes focused on his now sharingan-wielding student, noticing that he was brooding more than usual.
Hmmmmm…
Kakashi made a quick review of the events in the past three weeks, deducing that Sasuke probably had issues about what he did back when he thought Naruto was going to die by Haku's hand.
So, he was finally forced to admit it to himself…
Nothing like a life-and-death situation to act as a catalyst to a chemical reaction such as one's feelings…. Things should be a bit clearer to Sasuke now, but confusion is inevitable at such an early stage. Things were fragile as of that moment.
However, it was really too bad for Sasuke that his jounin sensei decided to make a hobby of picking on him when it came to his love life. If asked why, the masked nin would probably say something along the lines of, "Because I can." He could even supplement it with a reply of, "And because it's a great stress-reliever." But he would probably end up with a statement much like, "You should try it!" with a deceptively innocent smile under that blue piece of cloth.
"Oi, Naruto… It's my treat, remember?" the scarecrow said cheerfully, draping an arm about orange-clad shoulders.
"Oh yeah!" Naruto pumped his fist in the air, "That's even better!"
Kakashi spied on Sasuke from the corner of his eyes.
Twitch. Twitch. Twitch.
He smiled to himself. He could already feel the stress siphoning off from his person.
Ah, the simple joys of life…
A/N: I know, I know… You guys are gonna say that this is not really that much of an update, but this slow build-up is very important for the foundations of this fic… And yes, I will stick to the original plotline most of the time. I intend, however, to tweak some facts and events along the way… Some minor, and probably a few major ones… So it won't be completely predictable. Chibi winks.
And because ffnet has new rules… the replies below are only for those who are not signed in when they reviewed. From this chapter onwards, replies for signed in reviewers will be sent to them directly.
Thanks… Now, click that little purple button down there and tell me what you think. Chibi smiles hopefully.
Replies:
Tymika: Thank you! I'm glad you liked it! I'm really sorry for being late, but… at least, it's here now…
Yit-Ha: Yes, it was sad… Thanks for the review! And yeah… Sorry for being late…
WickedSin83: Thanks! I'm glad you liked the fic! Chibi glomps WickedSin83. And I'm really sorry for the slow update…
tblink8801: Thanks! I'm glad you appreciate that! I try to put in as much of their real culture in as my plan allows so the essence would still be there… Chibi hugs tblink8801. Sorry for the lateness…
I-Shave-Clowns: Chibi hugs ISC back. Thanks for the continued support! I really appreciate you reading and reviewing every update of my story… I really do hope you liked this chapter.
Duet: Thank you! And here's the update, even if it's months overdue… Chibi sweatdrops.
Nakashima: Waaaaahhhhh! I'm really sorry for leaving you with a cliffhanger! Here's an update! And thanks for reading and reviewing my fic…
Dragonist: Thank you! I'm glad you liked it! If you're confused about something in the story, don't hesitate to ask… Chibi smiles. I'll gladly answer your questions.
mike: Thanks! I put their thoughts and commentaries in to prove that Sasuke and Naruto are just meant to be. They're CANON. XD Chibi rolls over the floor laughing. I'm glad you enjoyed it… Thanks again!
Tenka-chan: Yes, I have written more! Chibi glomps Tenka-chan. And I love you for reading and reviewing my story!