Oh, wow, I'm lazy. It's been so long since I've last updated... Why? 'Cause I'm forgetful, buried in homework, and just plain lazy on the weekends. But from now on, I'm going to try and get at least one chapter in per week, instead of every three weeks, or whatever the heck I was doing. But now...
New story! Yes, I have a very short attention span, but I will get Sweet Dreams finished... Give it time, sometimes the way I work even confuses me. So... enjoy and review!!!
Disclaimer: I don't own the Teen Titans. I don't own a lot, actually...
"I'm Raven. I'm not afraid of anything. I'm Raven. I'm not afraid of anything."
At least, that's what she kept trying to tell herself, as she lay in her bed in the middle of the night, staring at the ceiling. In reality, there was one thing that scared her: nighttime, when all of her worries and fears came back to haunt her in the form of recurring nightmares.
As she lay, staring at the dark ceiling, mindlessly repeating her mantra, she thought of the times that this had happened previously. She'd had a lot of nightmares as a little girl, when the world was still scary and new, and again when she'd first joined the Titans, and was afraid of rejection. As well, she'd had nightmares about confronting her father, but those had vanished when Beast Boy and Cyborg had entered her mind, and helped her to defeat Rage. That had been over a year ago, and she hadn't had any nightmares since.
But now they were back, and worse than ever. A couple of nights previous, Raven had woken up to find her room in utter chaos; her distraught emotions had torn it apart while she slept. Now she was truly afraid; what if she blew up the Tower in her sleep? She just wasn't safe anymore.
The worst part was that she couldn't identify what was scaring her. Each time, by the time she woke up, she'd forgotten the dream, and was left only with a growing terror, and the sense that it was all her fault.
Because of the incident from two nights ago, Raven had been afraid to sleep. She'd merely lay in bed, muttering to herself, drifting through various stages of exhaustion. Luckily, no one else had noticed her fatigue; the last thing she needed was to get the others involved. No, she needed to get through this alone.
"I'm Raven. ...I'm... not... afraid..."
Before she could finish the now meaningless phrase, her eyelids dropped, and Raven fell into an unwanted sleep.
"Beast Boy, I'm not having tofu eggs for breakfast. Herbal tea is all I need." Raven glanced at the changeling out of the corner of her eye as she poured herself a mug of tea the next morning.
"Aw, c'mon, Rae!" Beast Boy pleaded, holding the plate of toast and tofu eggs in front of her temptingly. "You should eat breakfast... You've been looking a little worn-out lately."
Raven's eyes went wide at this. She quickly looked at Beast Boy with suspicious eyes. Had he figured it out?
"I'm fine," she snapped irritably. With a groan, she realized that she was holding only the handle of the teapot; the rest of the pot had shattered due to her outburst. Her emotions had gotten very touchy the last couple of days, due to her loss of sleep.
Beast Boy glanced quickly at Raven's tired face, then back to the mess of glass and tea. "I'll get that," he volunteered quickly.
"Thank you," Raven replied, a hint of sincerity in her voice. Mug of tea in one hand, book in the other, she made her way over to the couch, leaving Beast Boy and the teapot alone.
She let out a sigh as she sat down, taking a sip of the hot, soothing drink. She was relieved to know that she hadn't had any nightmares last night, after she'd fallen asleep, but she knew she couldn't hold out much longer. She had to sleep sometime, and it was that that scared her. But she was so tired...
She shook her head violently, pulling herself out of her daze. Her thoughts were muddled, and her brain felt fuzzy.
'I need to clear my head,' she decided mentally, and, finishing off her tea, stood, prepared to head for the roof. Beast Boy, finished with the teapot, caught the motion.
"Hey, Rae... Where're you goin'?"
Raven gave a short sigh of exasperation. "Away, Beast Boy."
"Oh... Can I come?" There was a hint of hopefulness in the changeling's voice. Raven looked over at him questioningly, one eyebrow raised.
"I'd rather you didn't."
"Are you sure? 'Cause it can get pretty lonely, all by yourself."
"That was the idea," Raven replied, the annoyance in her voice clear.
"Oh... All right, then," Beast Boy said quietly, trying to disguise the disappointment in his voice.
Without another word, Raven turned and left him, heading for the roof.
"Why does he have to be so annoying? I can't stand him!" Raven told the brisk morning air, as she stood on the roof moments later. "I have other problems to deal with... I can't be babysitting him, too."
She pushed the matter to the back of her mind, deciding that it was unimportant. She sat down cross-legged and began to meditate, the one safe way she had of clearing her head.
"Azarath, Metrion, Zinthos... Azarath, Metrion... Zinthos... Azarath... Metrion..." Overcome with exhaustion, Raven fell asleep on the roof, in the light morning air.