I can't sleep.

I can't sleep, and I can't breathe, and it's not as easy as I thought it would be, I can't--

Mou hitori no boku.

The thought alone makes my throat tighten uncomfortably and tears spring to my eyes. He's not just gone. He's dead.

Why do I feel like a part of me has been torn away? It wasn't as if I'd know him any longer than Jounouchi-kun or Honda-kun, or even Anzu. Yet it hurts so badly I can barely breathe.

I can't sleep, and I'm crying again.

I want to call Jounouchi-kun, or Anzu -- yes, Anzu, she'd understand. She understood so much more than she let on. She didn't say anything, she just looked at me. She does that a lot, now. I guess she's grown up. I guess, then...we've all grown up.

If this is growing up, you can keep it. I can't breathe. I want to talk to Anzu...no. No, I want to talk to mou hitori no boku. No one understood me like he did. How could they? He shared my heart and soul...was my heart and soul.

Come back. Come back, please, someone just...please have mercy and bring him back.

I didn't know it would hurt like this. He said that...I was strong, and that he would remember me, and I know that everyone he knew had long since passed away, and he'd be reunited with them. But it hurts. I can't put words to how much it hurts. I wish I'd never won. I wish I'd surrendered, I wish I could have known, I wish...I wish...

I glance at the clock and wince at the numbers, 1:24. If I called any of my friends now, not only would they get in trouble, I'd probably get chewed out, as well. Not an option.

The Sennen Puzzle...out of habit, I reach for it beside my pillow. Idiot! You idiot, it's gone. They've all gone. If there was any proof that anything during the past three years happened...

But there is nothing.

Nothing at all.

"Mou hitori no boku...?" I whispered into the darkness, my voice hoarse from sobbing. "Can you hear me?"

Please come back. Please. I'd give anything. Anything in the world.

Of course, there's no answer.

"ATEM!"

There won't be an answer. Maybe I dreamed the whole thing up, all of it, the duels, the wonder, the person who understood me so well all he had to do was look at me and everything would be okay--

1:27. I can't sleep. I can't breathe.

I pick up the phone from my night table.

"Jounouchi-kun...? I know it's late, and I'm sorry..."