I can't sleep.
I can't sleep, and I can't breathe, and it's not as easy as I
thought it would be, I can't--
Mou hitori no boku.
The thought alone makes my throat tighten uncomfortably and tears
spring to my eyes. He's not just gone. He's dead.
Why do I feel like a part of me has been torn away? It wasn't as
if I'd know him any longer than Jounouchi-kun or Honda-kun, or
even Anzu. Yet it hurts so badly I can barely breathe.
I can't sleep, and I'm crying again.
I want to call Jounouchi-kun, or Anzu -- yes, Anzu, she'd
understand. She understood so much more than she let on. She
didn't say anything, she just looked at me. She does that a lot,
now. I guess she's grown up. I guess, then...we've all grown up.
If this is growing up, you can keep it. I can't breathe. I want
to talk to Anzu...no. No, I want to talk to mou hitori no boku.
No one understood me like he did. How could they? He shared my
heart and soul...was my heart and soul.
Come back. Come back, please, someone just...please have mercy
and bring him back.
I didn't know it would hurt like this. He said that...I was
strong, and that he would remember me, and I know that everyone
he knew had long since passed away, and he'd be reunited with
them. But it hurts. I can't put words to how much it
hurts. I wish I'd never won. I wish I'd surrendered, I wish I
could have known, I wish...I wish...
I glance at the clock and wince at the numbers, 1:24. If I called
any of my friends now, not only would they get in trouble,
I'd probably get chewed out, as well. Not an option.
The Sennen Puzzle...out of habit, I reach for it beside my
pillow. Idiot! You idiot, it's gone. They've all gone. If there
was any proof that anything during the past three years
happened...
But there is nothing.
Nothing at all.
"Mou hitori no boku...?" I whispered into the darkness,
my voice hoarse from sobbing. "Can you hear me?"
Please come back. Please. I'd give anything. Anything in the
world.
Of course, there's no answer.
"ATEM!"
There won't be an answer. Maybe I dreamed the whole thing up, all
of it, the duels, the wonder, the person who understood me so
well all he had to do was look at me and everything would be
okay--
1:27. I can't sleep. I can't breathe.
I pick up the phone from my night table.
"Jounouchi-kun...? I know it's late, and I'm sorry..."