Chapter 10
Waiting's End

Narcissa trailed a fingertip around the rim of her water glass. Lucius was late. She had been deliberately tardy in arriving at the restaurant herself- the first of many little details that she had orchestrated for the evening. She had intended for Lucius to be seated when she arrived. She wanted him waiting and watching as she crossed the room towards him, breathtakingly clad in a dress of blue silk that showcased her curvaceous figure perfectly – but Lucius wasn't at the restaurant at all.

Seated by herself, Narcissa took a moment to think back to a few days before. Her husband had been visibly surprised, but not unpleasantly so, when Narcissa asked him what they were doing for their anniversary. She had smiled brightly and asked if she might arrange something. She assumed that, if left to his own devices, Lucius would organize something splendidly unromantic. In his astonishment, Lucius had nodded his agreement.

And so, Narcissa arranged to meet him after work for an intimate dinner. The meal was to be followed by a trip to the theatre, where they would, naturally, enjoy their own private box.

Narcissa had high hopes for the theatre; she could contrive any number of reasons to snuggle closer to her husband than he ever usually permitted, there would be nowhere for him to run. Given that they would be in public he couldn't take things /too/ fast and panic her again.

Hopefully, by the time they left the theatre she would have given her husband
enough clear signals to soothe his rattled confidence, because to finish off the night she wanted to return to the Manor and present Lucius with his present: Namely, herself... Narcissa took a nervous sip of her water and asked the waiter for the time.

Lucius was really late.

She chewed her bottom lip and felt her nerves redouble. Maybe she had been wrong after all? Maybe she had misread the signs? It had been presumptuous of her to assume that a man like Lucius Malfoy would have any really interest in her. Narcissa felt the little bubble of hope that she had been tenderly nursing burst. He was probably with his other woman now, laughing as his silly little wife tried to play along with the grown ups.

Her eyes pricked with tears.

"Cissa? Narcissa Black- er, Malfoy!" called a voice.

Notably not Lucius's Narcissa thought gloomily. She twisted in her chair and saw Olivia Ogrevy walking towards her, dressed in a… waitress's uniform?

Narcissa's face must have belied her disbelief because Olivia pouted and wrinkled her nose in disgust.

"I know, I know, but Daddy insisted! He threatened to make me stay at home with the elves this Christmas when the family goes to visit grandmamma in Australia if I didn't get a job." Olivia shuddered as she spoke. "He says it builds character." She scowled blackly. "But at least Daddy's one of the owners here, so I only do one shift a week and I get to flirt with the customers and boss the rest of the staff around."

Narcissa nodded dumbly, still amazed to see that her old school friend had found paid employment, even if it was only in the loosest sense of the word.

"The register said you were meant to be dinning with your husband tonight," Olivia pried nosily. "Have you been stood up, Cissa?" she asked, with a distinct lack of sympathy.

Narcissa tried not to wince. "I'm sure my husband has simply been detained by business. He'll be along soon, no doubt." Except she did doubt it.

"Too busy to owl and let you know?" Olivia snorted, sitting down in Lucius's place. "You know," she began thoughtfully, "my shift's about to finish. I'm going to meet up with some of the old gang from school afterwards. You should come out with us, Cissa. Be a teenager and not an old married woman for the night."

"I don't know, Lucius-"

"Isn't here," Olivia pointed out bluntly, getting to her feet, "and if he does arrive later and you're not here-" she shrugged her shoulders careless "-well, it will serve him right for leaving you sitting on your own for hours!"

There was something absurdly logical in what Olivia was saying, Narcissa admitted as she allowed herself to be pulled to her feet. All her intricate plans for the evening were forgotten. She was tired of feeling old and lonely and unloved. If just for one night she wanted to remember what it felt like to be young and carefree!

..ooOOoo..

Narcissa let her hips snake in time with the music, completely hypnotized by the blatant spark of lust they had kindled in her admirer's eyes. She knew that she was going too far- she ought to mumble her excuses now and return to the table or make her way home, but she couldn't bring herself to do it.

Just one more song…She promised herself. One more dance. One more shy
brush of his fingers against her hips and then it would be enough.

It had been ages since Narcissa had felt so alive- so free!- so much like a normal eighteen year old out for a night with her friends. She had shed the weight of "Narcissa Malfoy". Tonight she was just a girl, just another witch in the city out to have fun.

Her partner's hand slid to the curve of her waist. As the music pulsed and
thrummed, he slowly worked their bodies closer, until the front of his trousers were brushing her skirt. She was shocked by his behavior, but instead of being disgusted, she was exhilarated. It was strangely empowering, this coarse reminder of her own appeal. Lucius would never be so vulgar…She was annoyed by her subconscious's reminder. Lucius would never let her see how she made him feel-if he even did feel anything for her. She was starting to doubt that it was possible to crack his heavy shield of ice.

"Are you tired of dancing?" the wizard purred into her ear as he pushed against her again.

This time, Narcissa backed away. The game was going too far. She'd had fun for the last few hours hanging out with her friends drinking, dancing, flirting and pretending she was free, but this wizard was treading dangerously close to popping the bubble of illusion with his over-eagerness.

"Not yet," she breathed back into his ear, pulling back slightly.

Undeterred, he put his hand on her hip and steered her close again, "I can think of better places to dance…" he hinted.

Narcissa's eyes flashed up, searching the grinding mass of dancers for her friends, but she couldn't see them. She was almost grateful when she felt a hand on her shoulder- someone was trying to cut in…

…only they weren't.

Narcissa yelped as the grip on her shoulder became painful. Two talon-like fingers pinched the tendon in her neck and jerked her backwards from the floor. "Excuse us," a voice drawled dangerously to her astonished partner. "It's time that my wife came home."

Lucius.

Narcissa's stomach flip-flopped like she had just missed a step. Her husband must have come for her after all. When he didn't find her at the restaurant, he followed her here. How had he found her? How much had he seen?

Automatically, Narcissa's eyes darted to the side, expecting to find her husband's face frustratingly placid- but nothing could be further from the truth. She felt a thrill of panic to find his expression as she had never seen it before. It was positively thunderous. The muscles in his jaw were taut with rage and his normally pale skin was flushed. Most terrifying of all were her eyes. Normally calm pools of mercury, they glowed with all the crackling fury storm clouds.

" Lucius, I-" she started to explain, but the rest of her words were lost in a yelp of pain as, relinquishing her shoulder, Malfoy transferred his grip to the crook of her elbow and dragged her out onto the streets.

"Shut up!" he hissed.

She didn't dare to defy him. She concentrated on keeping her feet as he marched her back toward the public floo.

"So, is this how you spend your evenings, Narcissa?" he spat as they entered the transportation hub. "This is why you don't show up for breakfast and dinner?" She started to answer, but a dark glare from her husband informed her that he didn't want an actual reply.

They waited as an elderly wizard took an inordinate amount of time to scatter his powder and shout "Kitt's Hill!" before it was their turn.

Narcissa was about to ask Lucius if she should go first but, again, she was not given an opportunity to speak. Lucius grabbed a heavy handful of powder, threw it into the great, and growled, "Malfoy Manor!" pulling his wife after him before she had time to protest.

Lucius's pincher-tight grip didn't lessen as they hurtled through the floo, or a few minutes later when they tumbled into the fireplace in the blue drawing room at home. Held off balance by her husband's grip, Narcissa stumbled, but he jerked her back to her feet.

"Walk," he hissed.

Narcissa was starting to feel real panic as she was herded toward the stairs. She had never seen Lucius so angry- she had never seen him angry at all. He was usually so serene, carefully guarding his emotions and biding his time until he decided to strike with cool precision. The difference was frightening. What was he going to do to her? She had only been dancing after all!

"Lucius, you're hurting me!" she finally found her voice and tried to wrench away, but her resistance was met only with a crueler grip. She gasped in pain as he twisted her arm- not hard enough to cause actual damage, but plenty for an unspoken threat.

"Where are we going?" she asked again as they went past her door. They went on to Lucius's chamber. "What are you going to do?"

"What do you think?" Lucius sneered and pushed her inside. He released her long enough to close the door. The heavy click of the lock sent a shiver crawling along her spine.

"I…I don't know," she answered truthfully. There was a dark, predatory glimmer in her husband's eye, and she pulled hard against his grip, trying to escape again.

"Don't you?" Lucius said bitterly. "It certainly looked like you knew at the club." He pushed her shoulders hard. Narcissa stumbled back, tripping over her feet so that she fell backwards onto his velvet-covered bed. "Undress!" he snapped.

"Wh-what?" Narcissa's skin began to tingle with alarm. Lucius had already tugged away his cravat and his robes were open from the waist.

"I said, undress."

Narcissa did not obey. She was in too much shock to move. She merely sat there, dumbly, until Lucius's furious fingers started plucking at her skin, ripping her gown from her shoulders.

"Undress!" he roared again. He voice lashed against her like a whip.

Tears brimming in her eyes, Narcissa finally did as she was told.

"Now stand up."

This time, Narcissa complied immediately. She kept her eyes on the
floor, but she could feel her husband's gaze raking over her body. "Look at me!" he commanded. She didn't obey fast enough to please him, because he roared again: "LOOK AT ME!"

Narcissa forced herself to raise her chin. Through tear-blurred eyes, she saw Lucius glaring back. His gaze held no approval or disappointment, merely more of the horrible wrath that had been pouring out since he first found her at the club.

She had to fight not to close her lids as he reached forward and finished stripping her.

Completely naked, Narcissa had never felt more helpless and vulnerable. It took all of her concentration to prevent her knees from buckling in the face of his unyielding scorn.

"Why are you doing this?" she whispered miserably as he pushed her roughly onto the mattress. She had always known that this night would come- but not like this! It was even more terrible than her mother had hinted!

"Isn't this what you were asking for?" Lucius growled sarcastically as he crawled over her body, pinning her shoulders to the bed. "You act like a little tramp you get treated like one."

Her lower lip began to tremble.

"You play so sweet and innocent- How many men have you had, Narcissa?" he asked in a venomous whisper. "How many wizards have you let have what belongs to me?"

"None!" She wailed truthfully, but Lucius either didn't hear or chose not to believe her. His hands were groping possessively over her skin, branding her with their touch. Nevertheless, she felt a treacherous tingle of excitement.

Lucius momentarily drew away, standing to remove his own clothes. The nervous prickle of alarm coursing through Narcissa's veins increased. She had never seen a naked man before, and there was little to prepare her. The sudden sight was alarming.

Narcissa thought again of her mother's warning- and to Bellatrix. She had thought herself mentally prepared. Now, however, her terror revived. A tremor began at the base of her spine and spread until her entire body was quivering with fear.

"What's the matter with you?" Lucius snapped, suddenly looming over her again. The brush of his breath against her skin felt like fire.

Narcissa confessed, "I'm afraid!"

Lucius scoffed, but then he reached forward to grab her arm and his expression froze. "You're shaking." He said warily.

This time, she merely sniffed, concentrating all her energy to brace herself for what was about to come…only it didn't.

A minute passed in still silence, and she forced open one of her eyes.

Lucius still looked incredulous, and there was still anger flashing in his gaze, but it had lessened from before. He seemed to be mulling over her words, testing their truth. "Narcissa?"

"I…I've never been with a man before, I swear it!" she released in a rush.

"But, tonight-"

"I was just dancing, Lucius," she turned her head to the side and clenched her eyes again, fighting a losing battle against the tears which threatened to overflow. "Only dancing," she repeated quietly. "I just wanted to have fun."

"Fun!" Lucius spat.

"I just wanted to feel…"

"What?"

"I…" she bit her tongue and swallowed what she had meant to say: Young. It sounded foolish- even to herself. Narcissa ought to be grateful for what she had: power, money, health. She would have remained silent, but Lucius was staring critically. "I wanted to feel wanted," she finally managed in a miserable whisper.

"Wanted?"

"I'm so lonely!" She didn't know why she bothered to speak. Lucius wouldn't
understand. Even if he did, he wouldn't care. He didn't care about anything enough to let his feelings show…until tonight… a treacherous little voice amended.

"You aren't happy here?" the last of the temper had seeped from her husband's voice. He was calm again. Narcissa wondered, if she dared to look up, could she actually see the frost spreading over his skin?

"I guess so," Narcissa started to lie, but she had already said too much to keep the rest inside. "Not really. I don't know what to do!"

"You'll learn."

She sucked in her breath, astonished to feel his fingers lace through her hair and tenderly rake it from her face.

"You didn't want me," she said nakedly.

"I didn't choose you."

Was there meant to be a distinction?

"You're just..." Lucius sighed and didn't finish. Still stroking her hair, he dipped his chin and planted a gentle kiss on her cheek. "Things will change."

"For the better?"

Lucius sighed again, but not bitterly. His voice sounded wistful. "What do you want, Narcissa?"

"I want…I want to be wanted. I want to belong here."

"You do!" Her heart fluttered a bit at his instant, ardent insistence. "You are my wife…" he reminded, sprinkling another flurry of kisses over her nose and cheeks.

Narcissa shifted and the skin on their bellies brushed. Her muscles began to shiver again with the realization that they were both still unclothed. Now that her fright was passed, she felt an inordinate curiosity.

"Am I your wife?" She whispered, her voice tinged with the faintest insinuation. She had been waiting so long for him to claim his rights, half-terrified and half-thrilled. The waiting was torture. She wanted it to end tonight.

"I…you…" Another new emotion flickered across his handsome features: he was
flustered.

"I'm ready, Lucius." She said, trying to inject her voice with a certainty that she didn't feel.

"Ready?"

"To do my duty…to give you a son."

..ooOOoo..

Narcissa awoke the next morning in an empty bed. Desolation gripped her like an icy hand- but melted instantly when she turned her head. The bedside table had been heaped with roses, and there was a little note tucked among the blossoms. Narcissa fished it out and read:

Narcissa,
I hope you slept well. I didn't want to leave you this morning, but
I was needed at work- the same matter that detained me last night.
Hopefully I will be home early this afternoon. I'd like to reschedule
our dinner if that's possible? There's some place particular that I'd
like to take you. Unless I owl otherwise, expect me at eight o'clock.

- Your Husband,
L.

Narcissa's cheeks pinked in delight as she read the little note. She knew that it was an overreaction- it was only an invitation to dinner after all, but she felt like everything had changed. Two full years after her wedding, she finally felt like a wife. It wasn't just the sex- though she felt a definite twinge of disappointment that her husband hadn't woken her to indulge themselves one last time before he left for the office- she finally felt as if she had glimpsed beneath the cool surface of his icy façade. She
hadn't imagined before that he might have any vulnerability. It didn't seem possible that Lucius Malfoy would be self-conscious, or anxious, or fearful of being rebuffed. Simply knowing that he was human had gone a long way in reviving her hopes.

Hope for what? The thought flittered through Narcissa's mind, but she didn't allow herself to dwell on it. She wasn't going to fall in love with him in a single day, surely? So, there couldn't be any harm in indulging a romantic fantasy for just one night?

Deciding that this was sensible, Narcissa finally dragged herself out of bed. She wasn't hungry, but she forced an appearance in the breakfast room, shocking her father-in-law by bidding good-morning to his brown-haired tart (She was feeling charitable. After all, who could fault them for wanting to feel like she had last night?). After a cup of tea and a slice of toast, she announced her intention to go to town.

Suddenly, the world seemed full of colour and light. It was as if someone had drawn back a curtain, rending everything behind it sharper and more vivid. She had never seen such pretty dresses, or seen a happier crowd.

She made short visit to the couturier, and then to Madame Kiri's and returned to Wiltshire at quarter to six. She lingered over her toilette, primping and priming herself to perfection as the time dragged past. There was no owl from Lucius. So, just as the clock in the front hall began chiming eight, her feet touched the bottom of the stairs.

The last chime had barely faded before a crack of Apparation split the air. A moment later, her husband swept into the room. He smiled to see her. "You look lovely this evening, Narcissa," he said, and bent to kiss her cheek. "Are you ready?"

She nodded her head in agreement. "Oh, yes," she answered. "Where are we going? To London?"

"Not London," Lucius said mysteriously. "I've thought of something else..,

..ooOOoo..

The White Hart was darling little country pub set on the borders of the Malfoy's Wiltshire estate. Narcissa had been expecting a night of glitz and glamour, and found herself surprised when she wasn't at all disappointed to find herself sitting opposite Lucius in the cosy, rustic surrounds of the inn.

She gazed around the dimly lit interior, at the exposed oak beams, the worn
flagstone floor and the whitewashed walls. There was something so solid and safe about it all that Narcissa found herself smiling at the local witches and wizards who were sitting about the bar drinking and laughing.

"So, what do you think?" Lucius asked, taking a sip of his Scotch, his eyes glowing mischievously.

"Well, it's-"

"Not what you were expecting?" Lucius interrupted with a smile, before Narcissa could assure him that she thought the pub was charming.

It was hopelessly endearing how eager he was to hear her approval, Narcissa
thought blissfully. "No, it's not," she confessed blushing, "but that doesn't mean I don't like it!" she added quickly.

"You know-" Lucius began, but stopped to drain his glass. "I couldn't have put it better myself," he finished, his voice deliciously low and husky. Narcissa's heart fluttered in her chest, she suddenly didn't think her husband was talking about the quaint little inn…

Narcissa liked the downstairs of the pub, but she loved the room upstairs that Lucius had booked them into for the night. She loved the wide cushioned chair, and the soft carpet, and the large bath, and the small bed. Curled on her husband's chest, gently brushing the damp tendrils of his platinum-blond hair away from his face, Narcissa had never been happier. She chewed her lip; she could have felt this happiness weeks ago if she hadn't been so foolish.

"What's wrong, Narcissa?" Lucius asked, his words slow, and still thick and
drugged with pleasure.

"I'm sorry I made you wait," she whispered, blushing and burying her head under his chin to escape his eyes. She felt Lucius's body shake as he laughed.

"Not as sorry as I was!" he chuckled, then hooked a finger under her chin and
coaxed her out of hiding. "I want to take you back to Paris," he declared, "and onto Rome, and Venice and-"

"Lucius!" Narcissa stopped him with a laugh, shaking her head as she did so. "It's too much!"

"Impossible," he growled, claimed her lips in a fierce kiss. "I'd give you the world if I could," he swore against her mouth.

The world, but not his heart… never his heart.

TO BE CONTINUED

A/N: Sorry about the long wait. Since the last chapter debuted, Aulizia has had uni exams and Kiri has quit her job and opened her own business (!), so thanks for you patience. Please comment and let us know what you would like to see/how you feel about the direction of the story. If you want the R version of the story, those of legal age may find it at toujourspur (link in profile).