Xiaolang's Ying Fa: The long awaited R version of Our Secret Past! Here it is!! Hope you aren't disappointed!

Also, this IS the revised version!! Meaning, it probably has less spelling errors than the other version, and you may, but I'm not quite sure, want to read this version and not the other one just because you want to know what happens.

Disclaimer: I do not own Yuugi-ou, although, don't you all agree that it would be really cool if I did?

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XxXSeto's POVXxX

When I look into your eyes...Those beautiful amber eyes...forever burnt into my memory...I see everything we had...everything we'd shared...And... That's why I never look into your eyes anymore. I remember them perfectly...everything they held, every emotion...your eyes were so transparent...I could see into your very soul without even trying. That's why I wont look you in the eye...I'm afraid of what I would see...I wont deny that I miss what we had...There would be no use denying that constant ache in my heart every time you're near...or every time I hurt you...But somehow I think its better this way. We could never hurt each other this way. It just...wasn't meant to be. We weren't meant to be. But that doesn't mean I'll stop loving you...you mean too much to me...I cant just forget...I don't want to forget...That night you found me...You saved me...I had already had a crush on you but I think that's when it turned into something else...something more important...deeper than anything I had ever felt...even for Mokuba.

XFlashbackX

That night I had ran. Away...as far as I could get. Mokuba was at a friend's house so I didn't need to worry about what could happen to him once I left. I was hurt. Bad hurt. It hurt all over. I knew I had a concussion. My green hair was matted to my face with dried blood...my blood. My shirt was torn open and cuts were everywhere on my chest and abdomen. After Gozaburo-sama sliced the butcher knife down my chest and didn't seem to stop, I knew I had to get out of there. I grabbed a vase and smashed it over his head. I was out the door before he even hit the ground...if he did at all. I was scared...It was dark and I couldn't see a thing. It had even begun to rain. My thoughts began to wander as I slipped in and out of consciousness. My thoughts always wandered to you...and I was wishing you were here. I imagined your arms encircling my body and holding me tight. I knew I was dreaming when you did just that. I knew I had to have been hallucinating. You would have never of done this on your own free will...But as your eyes continued to stare into mine I remember thinking that everything was going to be okay. And when I heard your soft angelic voice...I knew it was true.

"Seto? Seto please hang on...Please...I'll get you help I promise! Please...just don't leave me alone, Seto..." I knew you couldn't have been real...but then when people are unconscious from pain they won't feel it...or much of anything. And I was sure as hell feeling the pain now...along with a collage of emotions from you. Your eyes were so sad as you held me...your father calling an ambulance. You were crying I realized...Your hand was on my face, smoothing the rain away from my eyes and... I remember grasping your hand in mine...smiling at you and saying:

"Don't worry...I wont." before I passed out completely.

I woke up in the hospital with you at my side. You were on your knees, your head resting on my hand which was interlinked with yours. You stayed up all night with me? Why? My heart soared at just the thought of another person caring that much about me besides Mokuba...And...It was you. Just then, your head shot up. Your eyes searched around for a second before they came to rest on mine. Your eyes were the same...those sad pools of deep chocolate. So sad...I reach up and cup the side of your face in my palm. Your hand moves to hold mine and you lean into my touch. Then I felt it...you were crying again. The silvery tears running down your pale face. I sat up a little and you dive-bombed me in a hug, your arms flew around my waist and your head was buried in the crook of my neck. I knew from that moment that I loved you, would always love you and...

"I love you." You love me too. I held you to me, rubbing your back, soothing the sobs until they were no more. You look up at me with more tears, ready to fall. Your amber eyes looking like pure gold enlightened by the sun. Your eyes were still sad though...I knew how to fix that.

"I love you too." I say and your face lights up so brightly...as if it was never sad. You hug me again, nuzzling my neck and under my chin fondly as I pet your hair...so soft...And that's when I also realized I couldn't let this happen again. I had to stop Gozaburo once and for all...I had too many things to live for. You being the most important right next to Mokuba...I couldn't let Gozaburo hurt me...I couldn't let you see that. And...That's why not but three weeks later...Mr. Kaiba Gozaburo was killed...thought to have been suicide...jumping out a third story window.

XEnd FlashbackX

That's how it all started...We were sort of friends before that...more like silently overseers, watching each other...Needless to say our relationship went into full throttle. We were rarely seen apart and when we were, it was to maybe go the bathroom or take a shower. But once Gozaburo had his ahem accident you practically moved in with me. The only ones who knew about our relationship outside of our friendship as everyone believed it to be were Yuugi and Yami. I love you so much...But...that's all over now. I am hanging out more with 'them' now...but I still fight with you constantly. It never went out of the same insults thought...I'm sure we're both glad for that...I don't think you've mentioned it outside of your head since it happened...unless it was with Yami or Yuugi. They've all seemed to accept me right into their little group...Except you. When I'm around you slip into obscurity...pretending no one notices you're in the same room. And of course they've noticed...Then...this is one of the times that I slip into obscurity. And that's why Yuugi keeps poking me. I face him slowly.

"Yes, Yuugi?" I ask. He smiles. Yuugi has to be the most carefree of us all.

"I don't think you've heard a word we've said the whole night, Kaiba." Yuugi comments, smiling to show that he was okay with it.

"I'm sorry, Yuugi." I apologize. Yuugi waves his hand.

"S'ok. What we were saying is that Anzu's birthday is coming up." I nod and face Anzu. She nods and smiles.

"Yes. It's this Saturday and I'm have a sleep over at a hotel. I've been saving up for years to have this party. So it'll be the works!" she said happily. "Of course everyone is invited, even you, Kaiba-kun." She says giggling. Saturday...only two days away.

"Thanks. I'll be sure to attend. If you need anything, feel free to ask." I offered.

"Thanks, Kaiba-kun, I will." Suddenly you pull forward.

"Kuso! I nearly forgot! Anzu-chan, what do you want for your birthday?" Anzu smiled.

"Don't worry about it, Jouno. Whatever you get me will be fine, I'm sure of it." Looks like he'd been spacing out too.

"Poor make inu, cant figure out what to get a girl for her birthday?" I taunt.

"Ya know what Kaiba? I don't want to deal with you tonight, or ever for that matter, okay? So just beat it and leave me alone!" You growl. Well too bad Jouno! You're stuck with me.

"Kaiba don't be mean. Jouno, don't be so cruel to Kaiba! He's turned over a new leaf these past two years ya know." Yuugi said; you just continue to glare at me.

"Not with me he hasn't. His hair might have changed and he may have grown taller but he will never be the same or different ever again to me." I look at him, the hurt I feel shining through my eyes. I walk over to him and set my hand on his shoulder. He flinches away from me.

"Jounouchi I—"

"Don't touch me Kaiba. You don't have the right to touch me like that anymore. Don't you ever touch me like that again. I'm not just some insignificant lowlife warm and willing body you can toss around and be done with in a few hours. I've been hurt enough and I'm through with your games. I'm not yours to touch anymore. Leave me be." J-Jounouchi...I...oh gods this is it isn't it...? The end of us...I clench my fists as he brushes past me and out the door. I look down, trying to hide the tears that are falling down my face. I grid my teeth and try to be emotionless...but I gave that up with the first chance to join this group...in hopes of getting close to you again.

"K...Kaiba?" Yami questions. I try to suck it up before I face them...I'm such a fool...This is all my fault...If only I'd trusted him instead of jumping to conclusions...I face them, the tears still falling. Everyone gasps.

"Tell them if you want. I'm going out the back way." I answer. Yuugi sets a hand on my forearm. I stop.

"Thank you. I'm fine, Yuugi. Don't worry yourself about me." I was thanking him for everything he's put himself through for me, because he didn't have to and he knows that. I faced Anzu, she had a look of confusion and worry as well as everyone else with the exception of Yami and Yuugi. "And Anzu? I'll be at your part no matter what. I know what it means to you." I say. In fact, I knew about her part before this...She's been saving for years. Literally. It is her 18 birthday after all, so no wonder she wants it to be special. I respect that and I wont let something you've done to upset me prevent me from attending her party.

XxXJounouchi's POVXxX

How could you do this?! How can you live with yourself everyday? Don't you have even a shred of humanity left? How can you keep hurting me day after day...knowing what we've been through...? That night I found you I was so scared I was going to loose you...I didn't care if you pushed me away or hit me...I had to tell you my feelings...before something like that could happen again...I was so happy when you said it back...I thought we'd be together forever...I though—But that's just it...Wishful thinking...I know you loved me...and I know you still at least care for me...but...How can you do this to me everyday? I don't know how you manage it...I've noticed something else too...After every insult you throw at me...you never look me in the eyes like you used to. You used to stare down at me with the most unreadable expression on your face...I would spend seconds...minutes on end just staring into your eyes, trying to get you to do the same...Trying to find an emotion...any emotion in your cold azure eyes...Whether is was hate or disgust I still wanted to look...I didn't care what I found...If it hurt me...Well...It couldn't hurt anymore than you not looking at me...Just as quickly as I would see it...It'd be gone the next second...whether I blinked or not. What I saw...Was everything we shared...It was like my life passing before my very eyes...Everything...Every emotion, every touch every kiss...I think that's why you stopped looking into my eyes when we fight...You must have been seeing the same thing I was...more even. Gods only know how many times I've tried to get you to look at me with those cold...kind...caring...icy cerulean eyes...It had all been some simple misunderstanding...Otogi Ryuuji had told the whole school that he and I were dating and Seto had believed him...

XFlashbackX

Seto stormed up to me, grabbing my collar and lifting me high into the air, far above the ground. He had been very stressed lately, so he very easily got angry over the smallest of things. I tried to smile down at him but his glare was enough to send ten thousand daggers through my heart. I wonder what it is this time...

"Seto-chan? What's wrong?" I tried to ask him. He continued to glare at me. He tightened his hold on my collar, shortening my breath...cutting off my air supply...

"What's wrong?! How dare you ask me that! First you go off and cheat on me and now you're asking me stupid questions as well!" Seto nearly screamed at me. He sneered, trying to control the anger he felt. My eyes widened. Cheating on him? With who? He knows I love him more than anything in the entire world! I open my mouth to speak but he tightens his hold on my collar farther. I'm trying not to gag...so hard to breath..."Don't even try to defend yourself! Ryuuji showed me the pictures of you two! You lied to me...You deceived me! You never loved me...All you wanted was to hurt me...What a fool I have been...I should have known...I never, ever want to see you again, you filthy dog. Get out of my sight." With that said Seto punched me to the ground and began to walk away. "I hate you." Were his last words.

XEnd FlashbackX

I had tried to call out to him but...My throat was almost completely blocked off. I had bruises for months of his fingers...I even tried to tell him after my throat cleared. He still wouldn't listen...Ryuuji lied...I never dated him...As for the generated...But...You would have already known that had you of trusted me more and listened to what I had to say...To this day...I don't know if you know the truth...I had tried so many times to tell you...And every time I can remember. From every time there's a scar on my chest, arms or face...I can remember each and every scar...That's why I hate Ryuuji Otogi so much. Even Yuugi, whom is thought to not have the ability to hate, hated Ryuuji Otogi. The insults he gave me during Dungeon Dice Monsters...making me wear that dog suit...calling me Seto Kaiba's lap dog...He knew Seto had labeled me as a dog that day he broke my heart...I am constantly reminded of that day every time he calls me a dog, mutt etc...That's when Ryuuji messed up. He mentioned he lied that day...forgetting that we were on national television. He revealed it all, whether he meant it to just spite me more or he really is an airhead...And... If Seto was watching too that day...That would explain why immediately once I returned he was nicer to me...insults still the same but...somehow lesser than they had been...Maybe it's just me and wishful thinking or...maybe you really do care...Gods know I still love you...even more than I had before...

"Jouno!" I turned my head slightly in the direction I had heard my name be called. Obviously, I had just made a very big circling seeing as how I am right in front of the Kame Yuugi-ou. (Turtle Game King)

"Konnichiwa, Ryou-kun." I like Ryou-kun...Out of our whole group, Ryou-kun's gotta be the most compassionate. He and Yuugi would be a great couple if they weren't in love with their yamis.

"Are you alright? Yuugi and Yami told us about you and Kaiba-sama. I...I didn't know. I'm sorry." Ryou apologized...Why?

"Ryou. If they told you then you know it wasn't anybodies fault except Ryuuji's. He obviously didn't like that fact that Seto and I were together. But it's okay now. I'm fine with it and so is Se...Kaiba." I answered. Ryou's eyes glimmered.

"I can't believe somebody would want to do that...That's so horrible..." Ryou said as he threw his arms around me in a giant hug. I laughed a little and hugged him back. He squeezed me tightly in a small attempt to tell me 'I know you're not alright with it, but I'm here for you, okay?'. "Do you want to come back inside?" my eyes move away from his. "He...He left Jouno...right after you did. So..." I nodded.

"Sure, I'll come back in."

XxXTwo Days Later, Normal POV, Anzu's HouseXxX

"Ohaiyo gozaimasu, minna-chan!" Anzu greeted Yami and Yuugi as they were the second guests to arrive. Mai and Jounouchi were the first. They came together. Mai throwing herself at Jouno as usual. The blond simply removed her arms from his and crossed them. She, obviously, was not happy about that decision cause she was back at it the next chance she got. While Anzu was answering the door Yami and Yuugi decided to walk over to said blond in distress.

"Hey, Jouno. You okay?" Yuugi asked, quirking an eyebrow at his friend. Jouno 'hmph'-ed and frowned.

"Does it look like I'm all right?!" Jouno asked, frustrated. Yuugi smiled in sympathy and Yami laughed, glad it was Jouno and not himself. Now, almost everyone was present. The only people left were—

"Ohaiyo!" cried a genki voice followed by a gruff, muffled 'ohaiyo'. –the Kaiba brothers. And, apparently someone else too.

"Shizuka!!" Jouno greeted as he ran over to her, the first thing he noticed was her hand intertwined with the chibi Kaiba's. Jouno stared in confusion at their laced fingers. They immediately broke apart, taking Jouno's hesitation as rejection. The last thing Shizuka wanted was her brother, who she hero-worshipped, to be ashamed of her. Knowing Shizuka, she'd give up her own chance at love just to make her brother happy. Jouno smiled after awhile at them. He noticed the look in Shizuka's eyes. She thought he didn't approve. Jouno smiled gently and took Mokuba's hand and Shizuka's hand. He held them for a second until they both looked up at him, confused. Jouno gently placed Shizuka's hand inside Mokuba's again. They both smiled, Mokuba was proud he thought him worthy of his sister and Shizuka was happy that even though Seto and Jouno had their thing she was still allowed to have one with Mokuba. She broke hands with Mokuba for a second time that morning only this time for an entirely different reason. She threw her arms around Jouno's neck, hugging him so tight he almost fell over. He caught himself and hugged her back.

"As long as you're happy Shizu...As long as you're happy..." Jouno murmured against her soft strawberry blonde hair. She broke away shortly after and took Mokuba's hand back in hers, proudly. Jouno ruffled Mokuba's hair a bit. "Take care of her...She's all I got left." He said happily. At that, Seto's face fell. Apparently, Jouno hadn't caught what he had said but Seto sure did. And it was because of Seto that all Jou had left was his sister...Seto himself was a little surprised to see Mokuba and Shizuka together but he as well as Jou was happy as long as they were.

"Shizuka! Glad you could make it!" Anzu squealed.

"I'm glad too. Happy birthday, Anzu." Shizuka said, smiling.

"Well, my b-day isn't until tomorrow so that's why this is a sleep over!!" Anzu exclaimed. "I hope you all like limo rides cuz we're about to take one over to the hotel!" Everyone except Seto cheered. Even though he was happy, he already knew what it was like to be in a limo. "It's big enough to fit all of us and more!! This'll be so great!"

They made it to the hotel alive but no thanks to the driver...He made on incredibly sharp turn and everyone fell into another. Literally. Just imagine everyone on one side of the limo, Seto on the bottom, Jou directly on top of him (Mmm..Yummy picture don't you agree?) and everyone else on top of them making the compromising position Jou and Seto were in that much more enjoyable if ya know what I mean...

XTime LapseX

"Alright! Who wants to go swimming?!" Everyone cheered. "Okay, go change and meet back here in to minutes!" Anzu said. Everyone dispersed not long after that was said.

XxXJounouchi's POVXxX

Great...swimming...Don't get me wrong, I like swimming, it's just...ya know...the whole no shirt thing...The last thing I want is to get hard at Anzu's birthday party much less in a pool wearing swimming trunks that cling when wet. sigh How did I get myself into this? I change quickly and begin to make my way back to the place Anzu had instructed us to meet, a towel in my arm and suntan lotion in my hand. Just my luck...because I am so indulged in my thoughts I bump into someone tall, firm and very, very sexy...I grunt softly as I am immediately pulled against said sexy man's chest...I knew he only did it so we wouldn't fall to the ground though. I look up into his eyes, of course, he is not returning the favor...but when I realize exactly where he's looking I blush in shame and turn away from him. I try to move away but he's holding me too tightly. One hand comes up to trace an unusually deep scar in the middle of my collarbone. He doesn't touch it I noticed, rather his finger is hovering above my skin...afraid if he does touch it he'll hurt it more...I look up just in time to see his face scrunch up slightly to try to hold back a sob. Seto...don't cry...I've forgiven you ten times over...Don't worry...His eyes fill with tears and the emotion lingering in his eyes longer than I've ever seen before. He's seeing it...He's seeing the memories...His index finger brushes the scar lightly and his eyes squeeze shut, a tiny sob escaping those soft pale lips I long to hold to mine.

"I thought I told you not to touch me, Kaiba." I say, my voice so emotionless. His eyes flash open to the reality of what he is doing as he hastily removes his arms from my body...the arm I found to be holding me softly in place...not tightly like I had been led to believe by my own mind.

"I...I'm sorry..." you mutter, looking away again. I smile at you and trace a small barely visible scar on the side of your stomach. I don't want this moment to end...

"Remember when you got his one?" I ask softly. You gasp and for the first time in I cant even remember...your eyes met mine...and held mine. Neither of us looked away until Mai's loud irritating voice broke our hypnotic gaze. Both our heads snapped to the side to see her motioning for me to come to her. I shudder in disgust when I saw what she was wearing. Seto faced back first. He nodded, I noticed out of the corner of my eye. I looked back into Seto's eyes again. However...I wasn't as lucky this time to see his eyes meet mine. Something makes me think I'll never be that lucky ever again. Or maybe that's just self-doubt.

"Yes, I remember. It was when you tackled me to the ground...I didn't even notice I had been cut until after our heated make-out session when you pointed it out. We treated it best we could and that's why there's not much of a scar...you wouldn't stop apologizing to me...and I kept saying 'it was worth it for you to kiss me the way you did'. I remember everything...as I am sure you do as well. Even the things I'd rather forget...I remember." Seto...Gods I remember that day...

"That day was the day you came back after a month long business trip...How could I not kiss you the way I did? I 't help but miss...missed you..." Great now I'm choking on my words...What next? I've got to remember...he's the one that hurt me...mistrusted me...But he's also the one that made me feel in every way...

"And I miss you too. That's why I didn't care that I had gotten hurt...Because it was worth the pain to feel the love you poured through that single kiss...I like it when you kiss me like you need me...Cause...I need you too..." Seto...Gods I know what you're doing...You're trying to get me to fall into your arms again with using present tense verbs aren't you? My eyes harden.

"Too bad you'll never feel it again, eh?" I said bitterly, glaring at him.

"Jouno! C'mon!" Anzu called out to me. "You too Kaiba!" I brushed angrily past the sexy CEO for the second time in less than twenty-four hours...He'll live...It's me that I'm worried about...To keep my mind off the blue eyed dragon I had left behind I focused on what everyone was wearing. Yuugi was wearing light amethyst colored trunks with a crimson lightning bolt up each side. They looked at least a size too big for him. It was cute, really. Yami had on red trunks with a purple lightning bolt up the side. Honda was wearing some plain brown ones...Anzu was wearing a two-piece string bikini. It looked fairly soft to the touch, meaning it was good fabric. It was pink of course, it matched her eyes nicely. Shizuka was wearing less than I would have liked but...big brother can't always have his way now can he? It was a bikini, two piece and a bit more modest than Anzu's was so I'm thankful for that. It was a light sky blue color. The top tied around her neck but also had buttons up the from, between her...hell I just wont and shouldn't go there...At the bottom of the top part it had two tails that tied together in a bow. The bottom half is a very short skirt, so short you can see the bottom piece, but it was designed that way. The swimsuit has a sakura on her right...ya know...and another one on her left thigh. Ryou and Bakura wore matching royal blue trunks, Mokuba wore black trunks that matched his hair...Ugh...Mai wore...uhg...almost nothing...ew...I wince and look away. Her breasts are almost falling out of that bikini...which...is...uhg...white in color...and you all know how white is when wet...Ah! Look away Jounouchi! Look away! Unfortunately, the place I just so happened to look was right at Seto himself. He was looking hot too...I didn't get to look before...Damn...He was wearing dark midnight blue trunks that were baggy. My eyes trailed over every inch of beautiful pale skin...Gods...So beautiful...Damn! Jouno pull it together man! I cant live like this! But fuck he's too hot...And that's the moment I suddenly felt very, very dirty.

"Jounouchi-kun!" Mai screamed, pressing her breasts to my chest. Ugh! Ew! Ew! Wet! Wet! (laughing I had you going up there didn't I? Te-he o ) I immediately tensed and growled at her.

"What is it, Mai?" I tried to say nicely. This was after all Anzu's party, not mine.

"Why aren't you playing with us?" she whined in my ear.

"I'm fine right where I am, Mai." I muttered.

"Mutt's afraid of a little water is all. Don't worry, Kujaku. I'll get him in there for you in a sec." Damn you! Oh well...at least Mai's gone now...

"I...am...not...afraid...of water!" I nearly scream at you. You're still not looking me in the eye. Damn it! That one time...just a couple of minutes ago...I cant get it out of my head...go away...before I do something drastic!

"Uh huh, that's why you haven't even gone near it yet, right?" you taunt. I glare up at you...not like it matters though, you can't see the defiance in my eyes anyways.

"Damn it Kaiba that doesn't mean a thing!" and even though your smirk never falters...never changes...its different without your eyes to help you pierce through my soul...Rage...anger...building, building...building...SNAP

XxXNormal POVXxX

Jounouchi grabbed Seto's head, yanking it down and sideways slightly to stare into his eyes. They were nose to nose. "God fucking damn it Kaiba! Will you just look me in the eyes for once?!" Seto's eyes had met his for a split second before he had averted them. He tried to turn his head away but Jouno pulled it back. "No! Look at me Kaiba! After all this, the least you could do is look at me!" Jouno yelled. Strained, pained and open cerulean eyes met warm, caring and also open amber eyes. Jounouchi's eyes softened and he sighed. "Thank you." He murmured. "If I let go...will you promise not to look away?" Seto's hands rested atop Jou's.

"Don't let go..." Seto urged as he gently moved Jou's hands to the back of his neck while sliding one of his own down to said blond's waist, the other brushing the hair out of his beautiful golden eyes. Seto leaned down and claimed Jou's lips in a firm passionate kiss. '...The same...We still fit together...perfectly...' they both thought. Seto parted his lips and softly touched his tongue to Jou's bottom lip, silently asking for permission. That's when Jou remembered everything that Seto had done. He pulled away quickly. Tears gathered in his warm honey eyes. Seto watched as so many emotions flew through his young love's eyes. Fear...betrayal...love...Jou pushed farther away until their bodies weren't touching any longer. Tears flew down his face in shimmering trails. Seto couldn't help but to reach out to wipe away his puppy's sadness...Jou jerked from his touch.

"N...No...I can't do this Seto...K-Kaiba...no...I...I just can't." Jou whispered as he turned and walked over to Yuugi-tachi, putting on his mask of happy-go-lucky attitude.

They stayed in the pool until it began to get dark.

"Minna-san! Go get dried off and meet in the conference room!" Anzu's happy voice rung out. Everyone nodded and went their separate ways. Soon everyone was gathered in the conference room.

"Refreshments are over in the corner as well as the bar and snack table. Knock yourselves out." She offered.

XTwo hours later...X

"Man...H...Honda..." Jou slurred slightly. "Damn it Honda! You spiked the god damned punch didn't you!?" said blond yelled. It wasn't a lot, just enough to make them feel it...Not enough to give them a hang over...But enough so they'll feel it in the morning as well.

"So what! We need to liven it up a bit!"

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

Xiaolang's Ying Fa: There it is, not much different from the PG-13 version, but it will get better near the end, and these chapters will upload fast so I can get to the lemon quicker. This is actually chapters on and two of the PG-13 version, so…Remember to continue reading and reviewing! Thank you!