Wow, I actually wrote a second story! And this is it! (Cackles) Anywho, I know, I should be working on MBD, but I just started typing this...and it didn't take too long, so I figured, "Hey, what the hell?" This is probably going to be short, so it won't take up much of my time. Rest assured, MBD is not forgotten!

Note: I always call ancient priest Seto "Set" instead of "Seth." Why? Because Seth is the Egyptian god of Chaos and priest Seto is not.

Disclaimer: Ok, really, do you think if I owned Yu-Gi-Oh I'd be writing this? Nooooo. Mr. Takahashi owns Yu-Gi-Oh. Not me. Though I would like to...

HOLY RA!

---Chapter One: the Pharaoh, the Priest, and the Psychotic Tomb Robber---

"Set."

Shut up.

"Set?"

Just don't speak anymore.

"SET!"

"What?!" The tall high priest of the Millennium Rod glared down at him, his exotic blue eyes glinting in the Egyptian sun.

Eyes as colder than the Nile, colder than any night. He shivered at the other's glare; those intense eyes boring into him. "...I...I'm...bored."

Set shut his eyes, attempting to restrain his anger by calmly counting to ten. One...Two...Three...Fo-

"Set?"

His eyes snapped open and he held the Millennium Rod up like a sword, waving it in his companion's face. "Say my name one more time and I'll-"

"You'll what?" Crimson eyes held him in a steady stare. "I practically own you. What I say goes. ­I'm the Pharaoh."

The priest lowered the Millennium Item and spun about furiously, unable to face his companion any longer. It was all Yami's fault that they were lost out here in the middle of the desert anyway. Set had been perfectly happy in the relative coolness of the palace, but noooo, Yami had to be all, I'm going to play hero and get that annoying tomb robber Bakura. I'm the Pharaoh; I can do whatever I want. Shut up, Set, I'm going.

He could have just let the Pharaoh go off alone. He could have let him wander off and die; let him rot in the Egyptian sun. Let the gods deal with him. He could have.

But he had gone out after him.

And now they were lost.

With no food.

Or water.

Just great.

"Hey, Set, I think I see Anubis." (1)

The brunette went cold. "You...what?"

"Nah, I'm just kidding. Hey, you should have seen your face. It was priceless."

Unconciously, he felt his grip tighten on the long shaft of the Millennium Rod. One...T-Two...Thr-

"Set? Heeeey, Set, you ok? You look kinda angry."

Oh how he wished he could just drive the shiny length of metal he held in his hands through that annoyingly spiky head.

The thief looked up at the sound. He swore he heard voices. Different voices from the ones he usually heard. You know, the ones who told him to burn things and blow stuff up and kill and to practice ballet everyday after tomb robbing. Well, he'd never listened to that voice.

He peaked up over the rock he had been leaning against, leaving the cool shade and placing himself in the harsh sunlight of midday. Ra, it's hot, he thought as his mahogany eyes roved the landscape, looking for anything unusual.

"Sand," he muttered. "Sand, rocks, people, sand. Nope, nothing unusual!" Satisfied, he crept back to the shade, leaning back against the chill rock.

He sat bolt upright. "Wait. People?!" He turned around to make sure his observations were correct. People. And wealthy people by the looks of their clothing. But there weren't supposed to be any people around here! They were in the middle of the desert! Only a complete loony would wander off into the middle of the Egyptian desert during high noon!

Well, a complete loony or a tomb robber who had underground headquarters hidden from Ra's rays. Heh.

Hmmm...Now what to do in a situation such as this? Well, how about...KILL! MAIM! DISFUGURE, MULITATE, INJURE, HEAL...Oh wait, that last one was an antonym...Scratch that...WOUND, DAMAGE, HARM! And any other synonyms you desire. And of course rob. Oh yes.

So the intellectual tomb robber (hey, he knew all those synonyms!) crept across the sand, burning any bare skin in the process, and his behind a palm tree. Yes, a palm tree.

And waited...

"Hey, Set."

Set winced. "Yes, oh mighty one?"

The young Pharaoh frowned. "There's no need to be sarcastic."

"What do you want, damnit?!"

Yami's eyes widened and he took a step back from his fuming priest. "Uh, it's just...Do you see that guy over there or have I been out in the sun for too long?" He pointed a ways away to a young man about their age with white hair.

"Uhhh...He looks like he's trying to hide behind something...Only he forgot the something..."

Yami nodded. "Good, so I'm not going insane."

"Oh, well I wouldn't say that."

"Excuse me?"

Set looked at his Pharaoh innocently. "I didn't say anything, highness."

Crimson eyes narrowed. "You did so. Talk now or I'll kick your priestly butt."

Closing his eyes, he tried his little trick of counting to ten. One...T-Tw-o...Th...Thr...ee...Oh screw it. With a growl of fury, he hurled himself at Yami, sending them both toppling to the ground and causing the Pharaoh to let out a strangled scream. He couldn't take it anymore! The arrogant little annoying... "Ow!" he cried as he felt a set of teeth sink into his arm.

Said teeth actually belonged to Yami, who wasn't too comfortable being pinned under his high priest. "Get. Off. Now!"

"AH! Get you're friggin' teeth off me!" He tried to squirm out of his ruler's grasp, but Yami seemed to have a strong set of jaws. "Lemme go – Ow! Damn pointy puzzle nearly took my eye out!" He grabbed the Millennium Puzzle and jerked it above Yami's head, choking the Pharaoh in the process.

"Set! Can't-breath-need-AIR!" He flailed about, smacking Set in the head and placing them both in very suggestive positions.

It seems they both forgot about the weirdo hiding behind the nonexistent tree.

The tomb robber looked on in amazement at the scene unfolding before him. The two unknown rich men were...rolling around on the ground doing Ra knows what. The tomb robber certainly didn't want to know. He turned around, prepared to go back to his rock, but one of the voices stopped him.

Hey! it said. Hey, where're you going?

He frowned. "Away from here. I have no wish to become part of their little love-fest."

But they're totally unsuspecting! Easy targets!

He paused for a moment, thinking the voice had a point. "No," he said, shaking his head. "After that whole, let's rob the former Pharaoh's tomb just to piss of the current loser Pharaoh thing, I've decided to stop listening to you random voices."

Oh come on, the voice pleaded. That was just one bad idea...

"Then you told me to taunt the palace guards. Not a good idea."

They didn't chase you for that long.

"They chased me out of the city!!!"

You got off easy.

"And into the Nile!"

It's not just a river in Egypt, the voice said, quoting the old play on words.

"The Nile, not denial, you dolt."

So? It doesn't sound that bad to me.

"There were crocodiles in that water! I had to wrestle one just to escape with my life!" The thief paused. "But the most horrible part was...as I was fighting for my life, my voice took on an Australian accent!" (2)

The voice gasped.

The thief nodded.

Well...Just trust me. This will work.

He rolled his eyes exasperatedly. "Trust a disembodied voice in my head?" he snorted skeptically.

Uh...Yes.

The thief shrugged. "Ok." He sat down to listen to what the voice had to say.

"No, you started it."

Set growled, trying not to tackle the Pharaoh again. They hadn't been fighting for long before Yami declared himself winner and ordered Set to get off of him, or suffer the consequences. The priest had complied, not wanting to suffer the Pharaoh's wrath. But he was still suffering, of course. He was still stuck in the middle of the Ra-damn desert with the one person he would have least liked to be with at the moment.

It was common knowledge that Set and Yami didn't get along. Why? Well, that was a bit of a mystery to everyone. They were so much alike, especially where games were concerned (neither ever gave up), that one would think they'd be best friends. But perhaps it was this likeness that forced them apart. After all, both had strong wills and neither was ever willing to back down to the other, or anyone else for that matter.

Yami suddenly tensed visibly, staring at something Set couldn't see. The priest warily turned around, fully expecting to see Ammut (3), fangs bared and ready to devour his soul for attacking the Pharaoh. But all he saw was...the weird white haired guy who had been hiding behind nothing a few moments ago.

"Greetings," the pale haired one said. "My name is Bakura. I shall be your tomb robber today."

"Wait," Yami said. "So you'll rob tombs for us?"

A large sweatdrop appeared on the side of the tomb robber's head. "Uhhh...No. I'm here to rob you."

Yami stared at him blankly. "But you said you were a tomb robber. We obviously aren't tombs."

This time, a sweatdrop appeared on the side of Set's head as well. "No," the priest began. "We are not. But I'm pretty sure he robs people as well as tombs."

Bakura nodded vigorously.

"But that's not the point," Set went on. "Yami, did you hear his name? He's Bakura. That annoying tomb robber you came out here to pummel in the first place. Or something."

Yami tilted his head. "Well. So he is."

The thief blinked. "Yami? As in the Pharaoh Yami?"

Yami and Set nodded.

Turning to Set, Bakura asked, "So, what does that make you? His servant?"

"Try Priest," he answered dryly. "High Priest of the Millennium Rod. Now shut up before I use it to take over that puny mind of yours."

Bakura opened his mouth, about to reply, when a loud rumbling from the sky interrupted him. "A storm at this time of year?" He asked.

Set shook his head. "No, it's too loud to be thunder."

"Silence," Yami commanded. He raised his face to the sky, closing his eyes and relaxing his body. The glowing Millennium Eye symbol flickered to life on his forehead and a wind came to be out of nowhere, making his cloak flap out behind him and his blonde bangs levitate in a ghostly manner.

Edging closer to the High Priest, Bakura mumbled, "What's he doing?"

"Now?" Set asked softly. "Nothing. Not a Ra-damned thing!" He shouted the last few words, making the thief jump back with a squeak. "He's just doing it for dramatic effect," Set went on. "He thinks just because he's got a Millennium Item, he can invoke Shadow Powers whenever he likes to make him look cool."

"Well, newsflash for you, buddy, but I've got me a Millennium Item too," Bakura said proudly, displaying the pendant hanging around his neck, the Millennium Ring.

Set waved his Millennium Rod to show the man he had one as well, then paused in mid-swing. "Wait. You have a Millennium Item? Only the six High Priests to the Pharaoh may have Millennium Items!"

Bakura's eyes went wide. "Well...Um...I...Er..." He put his hands over the Millennium Item. "What Millennium Ring?" he asked innocently. Or as innocently as he could muster. Which wasn't very innocent at all.

Set rolled his eyes and turned back to the Pharaoh. They'd deal with the thief later. Right now they needed to find out what that strange noise was. "Well?" he snapped at Yami, who was floating a few inches off the ground. His outburst startled the Pharaoh, who promptly fell from the air and landed ungracefully in the sand.

"Owwww, Set!" he nearly whined.

"What is that noise?" Set asked calmly.

Yami closed his eyes. "I know not. But it is not of our time."

Bakura, who had wandered over and was laughing at the grounded Pharaoh, asked between chuckles, "What do you mean not of our time?"

"I mean just what I said!" the Pharaoh snapped.

"Great," Set said sarcastically. "I'm stuck in the middle of the desert with two psychopaths and an unknown noise, which just may be the harbinger of certain doom. Great. Just great."

All the while, the noise was steadily growing louder...

---End Chapter One---

(1) Anubis is the Egyptian god of embalming and the dead. He has the head of a jackal and the body of a man. Basically he leads the souls of the dead to the underworld. Set didn't seem to think the idea of him visiting was very funny, but if it were me, I'd have stopped and chatted.

(2) Heh, I trust you've all seen, or at least heard of the Crocodile Hunter, that Steve Irwin guy. Gotta love the Australians.

(3) Ammut is, like I said, the devourer. She is a demon who devoured the souls of those whose hearts weighed heavier than the feather of Maat, the goddess of truth. Ammut was also in one of the mangas, though I can't remember which one at the moment.

So what'd you think? Good? Bad? Tell me in your reviews! And check out my other fic, Marik's Boring Day! Well, if you want to. I won't make you. But feedback would be appreciated!