Is this a new chapter? Yes. Has it been over a year? It has been well over a year and a crazy year it has been. It's funny because after you loose everything you realize what actually matters. Material possessions are important but they REALLY are not the be all end all. It was only when I lost my computer and it actually ended up dying that it really sucked. The bohemian rhapsody video? There were so many more I have done for a lot of other things, this story itself? Lost on my hard drive. It was actually pretty much written but now... Having to rewrite it though,especially after everything has been interesting. But my point is creativity is important. expression is important... nobody can take that away. I've been through hell this year, but it could have been worse. I'm thankful that it wasnt.

I know that you guys can see but this story has almost 30,000 hits and that is WELL over the total of any of my other stories. That keeps me going. I appreciate everything. So with that said you guys enjoy.

love always,

Jules

Chapter 37: Mama ooo 2

Summers POV: Who's to blame for the lives that tragedies claim?

Not to long ago I believed that life was nothing more that a series of trials, a series of challenges. It is only recently that I realized that it doesn't have to be that way. Sure you are going to be tested, sure you are going to want for what you do not have and have the things that you dont want but at least you have something.

I never had friends before. I had fuck buddies, and I had teachers and I had peers and of course there were the doctors that poked and prodded. They tried to probe the mind of a scared little girl the find out why every time she is alone with a guy she spreads her legs a little bit further, and bats her eyelids a little more provocatively.

But back to what I was saying, friends. Now that I have them I wont let them go. All of them, Alex, Luke, Ryan, Seth, Coop. They mean the world to me.

I remember the night that I was sitting with Seth in the attic of that old church. It was Christmas eve and he was telling me stories of his chrismakkuah. He told me about his family and he told me about his dreams and then he went as far as to make me apart of it all.

For awhile everything seemed so perfect again, and it was. But it wont be perfect again, it wont be complete until she comes home.

Three Months Later

I look up at the big facility that stood before me. It has become pretty familiar these past few months. I spend as much time here as I can.

"Hello Miss. Roberts" The woman behind the counter greets me as I walk past her. I give her a small smile.

This place isn't like where we came from, this place isn't like Harford house. The walls here are adorned with colorful paintings rather than sterile white ones. Also, people don't wander around drugged. Those people are assigned to a special unit probably in the basement somewhere or something which is good because they were totally creepy.

Finally I make it there. Room 534.

I step inside quietly so not to wake her. Her honey blonde hair was splayed over the pillows as she slept peacefully. There's our girl. Out of nowhere she stirs.

"Sum?" She grumbles as she turns over.

Groggy, she opens her eyes and squints with a small smile. She is pale from the lack of sunlight in here but the freckles on the bridge of her nose are as prominent as ever. I remember that night three months ago, the night after everything went crazy. The night where I couldn't see those freckles because her nose was covered in blood.

"Hey Coop." I scoot my chair closer to her bed. Here they have singles unlike what we had at Harford House. Here also you can decorate your room. I had made it my personal project as soon as I was able to visit. They had her in solitary confinement for the first four weeks.

It all seemed to happen so fast. Jimmy got suspicious of Marissa constantly wearing long sleeve shirts to hide the bruises that Volcok left on her wrists. Then she hit rock bottom again. But by now we all know how that goes. For three weeks she had run away with him. They eventually found the two shacking up in long beach.

Marisssa was of course doped up. She had been strung out on god knows what. Once she got here, here by the way is Palm Meadows where she is now she went through a serious detox program. She was always throwing up and shaking and her skin had turned grey.

Jimmy had been so broken up about it all. He still blames himself. He wasn't there for her, he left her. As true as all of that is, and although Marissa is my best friend shes a big girl and she makes her own decisions. She has proven that time and time again.

She smiles at me. A real smile. Not a drug induced one like shes given me so often in the past. But I do admit, I miss the dopey Marissa smile a little bit.

"I missed you." Marissa yawned still trying to wake up.

"I know. I'm horrible. I've been swamped with studying for mid-terms and Seth has me sanding some boat." I ramble off

"You, sanding a boat?" Marissa smirked

"Yeah, crazy right? He has it in his head that this summer we're going to sail to Tahiti and just have this fantastic adventure." I muse. Sure the idea sounds ridiculous, and no doubt Seths boat will go down the minute we leave dock but his excitement is contagious.

"How is everyone?" She asked meeting my eyes. Shes knows that I am the only one who will tell her the truth. Everyone else tries to sugarcoat everything because she is "fragile" but if there is anything that I have learned it is that you cant hide from the world.

"Well," I begin watching Marissas face light up as I spoke "Alex and Luke are great. Fornicating on every surface in the house since Sandy and Kirsten are in Tahoe. Alex is actually coming by tomorrow. I think Lukes dad is still riding him pretty hard." I sigh at that thought. Luke is so good, so genuine. He doesn't deserve half of the shit he gets.

"And Seth? Well, besides the boat." Marissa asks with a chuckle.

Seth comes to see Marissa pretty often much to my surprise. It had been hard for him at first. He hated hospitals after everything that happened to his parents.

"He's great. He has been working on some top secret project."

"What do you think it is?"

"I don't know." I confess.

"And Ryan?" Marissa asks boldly.

Ryan is the only one who has not been here to visit. He was too hurt by her leaving with Kevin and just tired of constantly being tired. He had wanted to be Marissa's hero because he couldn't be for his own mother. What we all eventually learned is that we cant fix one another, but we can sure be there. With Ryan and Marissa it's still a little touchy.

They both ask me about one another but neither has the courage to be asked whether or not they are being asked about.

"He's better." I tell her. It has been hard on him. He had felt that he failed. "He's doing great stuff is his architecture class or whatever it is. All I know is that it's like boys and sticks and numbers and scales and stuff. Totally not my thing."

Marissa and Ryan are the same old Ryan and Marissa except slightly more functional. Marissa looks alive now. Shes not completely zapped out and Ryan is less broody, although still quite concerned. Oh yeah and Marissa is still a damn waif.

"Hey look!" Marissa said pointing to a drawing beside her bed. It was childish scribbles.

"Is that a hot dog?" I ask leaning closer to the picture

"Haha," Marissa laughed "I thought it was a cat. Really I have no idea. Sophie made it for me."

I visited with Marissa that entire afternoon. We just hung out and talked. Soon the doctors are supposed to tell her when she can go home, or at least be able to take day trips. I cant wait, we can go to lunch and get something other than nasty hospital food.

I made it home in the early evening. Palm Meadows is a good place for Coop. You don't have to think too hard there. Not to say shes dumb or anything… I just mean that there is no temptation there.

As usual my first stop when I get inside is Seth's room, especially after a long day.

"Hey dork." I announce myself as I step into his room without knocking.

He had been hunched over some sketchbook on his bed.

"You didn't knock, and what is the one and only thing that I ask you to do besides stay so cute?!"

"Make your food, fix your boat, pick out your clothes, watch you skateboard, do your homework-"

"Let's not get ahead of ourselves. I never asked you to do my homework." He says with a smirk

I smile back at my boyfriend as I climb across his bed. My boyfriend Seth Cohen. Weird.

"What are you doing?" I ask reaching for his notebook.

"NOTHING!" He yanks it away from me.

I huff. It honestly frustrates me that he will not even just give me a hint yanno? Like a little it has to do with you, or no I am not plotting for a kiddie porn ring.

"Loser." I submit finally as I cross my arms over my chest.

"You should get to bed soon. We have to wake up early tomorrow to work on the boat."

"No more boat! I swear my fingerprints are going to disappear if I have to sand that damn boat anymore!" I wail dramatically as I hold up my hands for him to survey my blisters from earlier in the week.

"It'd be cool to have no fingerprints. You could like infultrate the government or shoot somebody and just leave the evidence." He mused as he tucks the sketch pad under his pillow away from my prying eyes. He knows me. Out of sight out of mind.

"Why do I want to kill someone?" I ask quirking a brow.

"Just a thought. ANYHOW, you wont have to worry about losing your fingerprints anymore because tomorrow we are PAINTING!"

"The damage is done Cohen!" I cry as I throw myself back onto the bed "The damage is done."

He smiles at me and my heart melts. Yes it's lame, cheesy, and cliché but it melts.

"Hey Cohen?" I say as he falls on the bed beside me.

"Yeah?"

"I love you."

And that my friends just may be one of the truest statements that I have ever spoken.

"Hey Summer?"

"Yeah?" I answer playfully.

"I love you too."

More soon. If anyone knows where is can still downloads OC episode clips will you let me know because i'm trying to recollect all of my media. Thanks!

Please let me know if you're still around and review!

xoxo