Author's Note: I absolutely HATE to require prerequisite reading before a story, but this fanfiction takes into account most of the scripts for Season Two's unfinished episodes, so it really would help you to be familiar with them before you read it. They are currently available both at "The Scary Monkey Show" website (www thescarymonkeyshow com) under "Cancelled Episodes," and at "Room With a Moose and GIR (www roomwithamoose com) in The Closet under Outlines/Premises. In particular, if you've never read "Ten Minutes to Doom," you'll be lost reading this story (provided you have an idea of what happens in that episode, you should be fine)...my apologies! I was inspired.
Also, this deviates from the canon at a VERY SPECIFIC point during the aforementioned scripts. Essentially, this is a "What if...?" story. I'll explain everything once I've gotten to the point where I won't be giving away the plot, probably at the end of chapter two. Consider this an experiment, of sorts. And if you're still with me after all that, thanks:)
Disclaimer: Does anyone really believe that I own "Invader Zim?" What? You DO? Well, out of the airlock with you. Viacom and Jhonen Vasquez do. You fool.
"I wonder where we go when we die?"
"...Pittsburgh?"
"You mean, if we're good, or if we're bad?"
- Calvin and Hobbes, "Calvin and Hobbes"
There were several pairs of red eyes peering from the shadows and nightmarish patterns of purple light dancing across the lawn, and for the thousandth time in her short life, Zita wished that she knew more about quantum physics.
Now technically, at the tender age of thirteen, she shouldn't have NEEDED to know such things. But it so happened that a nearby University had recently eliminated any courses which did not promise to lead directly to cushy jobs for its students...leaving its bookstore with about three hundred useless texts.
This was why her perennially under funded skool had just received a generous donation. This was also why the first grade at the nearby elementary school was studying Nietzsche and Foucault, while the kindergarteners struggled with Freud's theory of the unconscious.
But most unfortunately, it was the reason that she was here, recoiling from the hideous visions around her, shivering in the dusk. And, worst of all, with HIM.
He'd convinced her to follow him to HIS house that evening at seven for their first secret tutoring session. Anything to prevent anyone else from KNOWING! But now, of course, night had fallen, and things watched them from the darkness. Moving, whirring things from either side of the front walkway. She could feel those eyes on her, following her every move, their gazes wrapping around her throat and SQUEEZING...
But the freak didn't seem to notice.
"It's ridiculous for them to force us to study quantum physics just because they can't afford better textbooks," he babbled, slurring the words as they tumbled uncontrollably from his lips, continuing a conversation she hadn't bothered to pay much attention to. "Especially since focusing on esoteric physics instead could REALLY help me build some sort of time travel device...er, that is to say...not that I'd ever want to do that..." He cleared his throat, trying to stem the flow. "Anyway, I'll get you through."
"Whatever, Dib," Zita ran her hands over a sore muscle in the back of her neck as she walked behind her bespectacled classmate. How much more could the little nerd rant and whine? "Look, thanks for helping me out with skool, and everything. It's just that I don't want to actually TALK to you any more than I absolutely HAVE to, got it? And can we go inside? I don't want anyone to actually SEE us together. If you DON'T MIND."
Dib's back seemed to harden. "Fine. After you."
Despite her annoyance, Zita couldn't shake the paranoid feeling that she shouldn't BE there. It wasn't SAFE.
...what was WRONG with her? As she could see clearly now, they were just lawn gnomes, and they couldn't hurt her. Soon Dib and his weird, glowing green house would be a thing of the distant past. She would just suppress his presence in class, not see him like she'd been doing all this year...push him and the unpleasant thoughts he inspired out of her reality.
"Hey, Dib?" She walked through the door (men's room? But then, her mom had those annoying "Cat X-ing" signs all over the place) he held open for her, trying in vain to erect a barrier of ignorance against her suspicions. "I thought your dad was some kinda bigshot sciencey guy, with his own show and stuff. Why is your house so...small? And...and glowing?"
Dib's glasses reflected the teal light back at her. "This is our...summer home," he began, carefully. "We originally built it for our, er, aunt. She liked...glowing."
Zita coughed. "Where is she now?"
"Um...dead?" Dib fumbled for a light switch, his hands visibly shaking.
"Are you cold, Dib?" She didn't care.
"No, it's just...it's only been a little while. Hard to talk about, you know? She died...suddenly of...brain parasites. Can we not discuss this?" Dib flipped a switch on, thowing harsh light into the room and exposing its many flaws of décor.
"You aunt had terrible taste in interior design," Zita snorted. "She must've been just as WEIRD as the rest of her family. That is the ugliest freaking monkey I've ever seen."
"I appreciate your sensitivity to my situation," he said, voice dripping with sarcasm and undisguised pain. Then his face seemed to soften, and he flushed. "I'm sorry, Zita...I don't want this to be harder than it HAS to be. I know I'll be HURTING you, and I don't...just don't be afraid. I've figured it all out. You'll be fine. And I tried for TWO YEARS to find an alternative. If ONLY there was some other way, if I could POSSIBLY think of some other way..."
"Yeah, well, you're the only one at school who knows about quantum biscuits or whatever, so I've got to put up with you. It just doesn't mean I have to LIKE it." Zita gritted her teeth, and pulled at an earring.
"I'm sorry," Dib mumbled, reaching into his pocket.
"You SHOULD be sorry!" The door was shut behind her. Somehow, it seemed that the entire house had closed in, encircling and holding her. Like something alive...but that was INSANE. Wait, two years...? No, no! Nothing to worry about! Nothing outside of possible social pariah hood, that is, if anyone ever found out about this. "What if Aki, or Jessica, or...or MRS. ELIOT found out about this?"
"...you don't understand." He sighed and, producing what appeared to be a cell phone from the folds of his trench coat, flipped it open and pointed the screen at her. "I'll see you soon, Zita."
"What are you babbling about no-"
There was a flash of blue light. And then nothing.
"I guess you're not smarter than the rest of them."