Finding home.

By Kai Lun Mau

Ranma moved silently that night as he stared at the sleeping form of his panda father snoring on his futon dead to the world. It was getting to hard, too dangerous; the craziness just wouldn't stop. Saffron, the failed marriage, the craziness from fiancés and rivals alike, hell even Akane was becoming distant with him, no longer did they argue or call each other names. Hell she didn't even hit him any more. No it was long past time to go, he had two choices, seppuku or becoming Ronin. He refused to let his mom cut off his head because of his fat lump of a pop. He finally reached a decision and snuck out of his room and downstairs avoiding the squeaky third step and walked into the kitchen. Quickly he scrawled a note and addressed it to the household before he shouldered his pack and stepped out the door and took to the streets, had a stop to make before he left Nerima.

Cologne hopped up onto the roof of the cat café disturbed by a palpatal feeling of sorrow that triggered her senses. "Hmmm this has to be Son in Law's doing." She crested the rise and she balanced on her walking stick and stared at Ranma's back. "So son in law here, for a late night tryst with my Grand daughter are you?" She cackled gleefully as she watched his shoulders tense.

"I'm here to say goodbye honoured Elder."

She frowned. "Goodbye, where is that idiot father of yours dragging you off to this time." She studied his still form as the night-time air caused the silk shirt to ripple at its touch.

Ranma shook his head. "Like everyone else, you just want me for what I can bring to your tribe. I'm not a Horse Stud Cologne, I'm not prime breeding material, I'm dissolving the kiss of marriage, as a blooded Warrior it's my right. I have defeated Herb of the Musk, I have killed Saffron of Phoenix Mountain, enemies of your tribe and opponents you could not hope to match or defeat." He sighed and finally turned to face her and she was shocked at the expression sorrow on his face. "This has to stop Cologne, but as long as I am in the middle it's never going to. As of one hour ago I removed myself from the Saotome clan register and I'm leaving this chaos nexus of a town, don't try to follow me Honoured Elder cause all bets are off now."

She frowned at him and his tone and fought the urge to rap him solidly on the head with her cane. "I don't take threats very easily Son in Law, I may be three hundred years old but I still have some tricks left up these sleeves."

Ranma snorted as he looked at her with a serious expression and cracked his knuckles. "It wasn't a threat Cologne, I don't do threats, It was a bleak prediction of the future." She nodded at him.

"Well Son in Law it's been the best time I've had in fifty years it won't be the same without you." She hopped forward and with a deft flick of her cane went to strike him on the head playfully only for her cane to fall into four equal pieces and she stared at him in surprise.

"Yeah Shampoo learned about that the hard way she tried the bicycle of death routine when I was having a lousy day, I reacted badly and lashed out without thinking and the bike fell apart." He sighed with frustration. "It's one of the reasons that I'm leaving, I can't control it, it responds on instinct only and some body, probably Ryoga, Moouse or Kuno is gonna get the same treatment as Shampoo's bike or your cane."

Cologne nodded sagely. "The Neko-ken is manifesting itself physically now, you are making the right choice then Son in Law." She glanced over his shoulder and she gestured. "The sun is starting to rise boy and I'm sure the Eldest Tendo daughter will awake soon and I'm sure that she will find any letter you had left for them."

Ranma smiled a first truly genuine smile for the Elder amazon. "Thanks for your help, and thanks for all the schemes and tricks and ploys, they kept me on my toes." He grinned that cocky smirk that was his usually expression. "See ya old Ghoul." Wrapping himself in the Umi Sem Ken the pigtailed Martial artist vanished.

Akane sighed as she stood at the school gates as Ryoga and Kuno went at it yet again, the insane kendoists bokken flashed and cracked through the air striking against Ryoga's umbrella as they duelled for the right to date her. God one year had passed since Ranma leaving town and against every possible chance things had actually began to get worse in the town and with her life. Ryoga had turned into Kuno, he didn't spout the bad Shakespeare or grope her, but he claimed her like a prize, she was to be his fiancée and to date him. It was tiresome and routine and with a growl of aggravation her mallet appeared in her hand and with a quick over head strike Kuno found himself up close and personal with the pavement.

Ryoga folded his arms across his chest and smirked with triumph. "HA! She chose me!" Akane growled and swiftly swatted him over the head as well burying him face first into the ground next to Kuno before storming off towards the school in a bad mood. She had convinced herself that everything was Ranma's fault that he was always to blame, the failed wedding the countless kidnappings, everything was his fault, problem was he wasn't around anymore but everything was still happening to her.

She sat through her classes chewing the end of her pencil staring out the window wondering just where he was and what he was doing. A sudden commotion outside made the class grind to a halt as Happosai came bounding over the rooftop, bag of stolen underwear over his shoulder cackling gleefully as the mob followed behind on the pavement below.

Ranma's leaving had meant there was no one around able to stop Happosai's panty raids except for Cologne and she wasn't always around to stop the old pervert. Kuno was delusional, believing he could stop this dark sorcerer was one of greatest delusions, and while Ryoga had the strength he didn't have the speed and so the perverted little gnome ran rings around him. Her father and Mister Saotome were no use, they just kow-towed to what ever he wanted.

She ran from the classroom taking the stairs three at a time till she burst through the main doors out into the yard wielding her mallet, chasing after the mob of angry woman, who in turn chased the perverted little gnome.

Cologne sighed as she watched the mob go rushing past chasing the perverted little abscess on the ass of womanhood known as Happosai. It was getting out of hand, with Son in Law gone there was no one who could stop the little freak of nature. If she were honest with herself even she would be hard pressed to put an end to his current reign of terror. There was only one real option left to her, his collection, he would surely cease if he thought his collection would be put at risk because of his actions.

Quickly she hung the closed sign and pogoed away towards the Tendo dojo and into the den of evil itself.

Happosai's bedroom!

She shuddered with disgust at the panties and bra's strewn around the room, the smell assaulted her senses and her stomach. Placing her hands side by side palms facing forward she shoved slowly forward and though she wasn't touching anything the heaps of dirty and soiled panties moved slowly towards the open window. Cologne grunted and shoved forward hard with her hands and the air rippled and a noise like a crack of thunder rent the air and the wall crumbled under the stress and the rooms contents, the bed, dresser, all Happosai's little pretties spilled out into the Tendo's garden.

She knew sooner or later that the old pervert would soon return with his latest acquisitions in tow. While she admired the youngest Tendo's strength and determination, without Ranma around to slow the old pervert down so the mob could catch swarm over the old pervert Tendo's youngest daughter stood no chance of catching, let alone defeating Happosai.

Finally she could hear his gleeful cackle as he approached, mask stretched across his face, bag stuffed with undergarments on his back and she balanced on her walking stick and pulled out her pipe and lit it.

"Happi this has to end now!"

The old man landed like a cat on the walls' edge and cackled. "You wouldn't begrudge an old man his one enjoyment in life now would you?" He sat crossed legged and withdrew his own pipe and watched her carefully not wanting to provoke her what with all his pretties lying there in a heap.

"This has gone to far Happosai, a few items now and then, your evening panty raids tedious but forgivable, but now with Son in law gone you are on a rampage, morning noon and night." She puffed on her pipe till it glowed bright red and nodded towards the pile of dirty laundry. "It's a simple deal Happi, go back to how you used to behave or I will torch your collection!"

He grumbled arms behind his back and glared at her. "Fiiine I'll cut back."

Cologne snorted "I want to see your hands Happi, and I want an oath based on your honour and the Grandmaster of Anything goes Martial arts!"

Happosai shook his head his hands appearing from behind his back his fingers crossed. "No I wont you can't stop me" He launched himself off the wall in a snap kick towards Cologne who pogoed straight upwards and came down on top of the diminutive Grandmaster and planted him face first in the gravel path. She shook her head and held her pipe out over the pile of undergarments and let the burning tobacco fall onto the clothes, with a quick wave of her hand a slight gust caught the smouldering cloth and the fire quickly grew.

Pinned beneath the amazon elder Happosai screamed and struggled to get free to save his burning collection. "Noooooo nonono stop! My pretties!" He collapsed in a sobbing heap as the fire grew consuming his life's work.

Cologne hopped off of Happosai's back and shook her head. "You brought this on yourself Happi…oh and this as well." She leapt up onto the roof of the Dojo and watched as the gates burst open and the angry mob of women swarmed over the prostate little pervert and started to beat him with various brooms mops and various household items.

Slowly once the beatings had ceased Happosai slowly crawled from the crater and reached for the sky groaning painfully. "Pretty Ladies!" He slowly crawled forward but suddenly a shadow loomed over him and he looked over his shoulder and gulped at the sight of a glowing Akane wielding her mallet.

"Happosai No Baka!" She swung like a pro golfer and she watched the diminutive pervert sail across the Horizon and vanish from sight.

Happosai muttered and grumbled as he slowly chalked the pentagram on the floor of the warehouse in Tokyo where he had crash-landed through the roof after Akane had sent him flying via Mallet Sama airways. He would show them, he would show all of them, he would make them pay for destroying his pretties. He cackled as he thought of the terror he would wreak upon his return with his new friend. He remembered the ritual from all the Amazon artefacts and scrolls he had liberated from the sacred library of the Elders. His chalked squeaked as it drew the final squiggle in the containment circle and he took his place at the head of the five-point star and began the summoning chant.

As he chanted his voice began to change, becoming deeper and more guttural as he progressed, little motes of sickly green light began to drift through the air, swirling on an unfelt breeze. The chant continued growing in volume and the motes of light slowly settled on the ground and trickled towards the circle swarming over the unnatural letters scrawled across the floor till the whole circle was lit with an otherworldly green glow.

Slowly in the circle of light a shadow was forming, the silhouette of malformed creatures that would make any normal person wet themselves with fear. Suddenly the lights surrounding the circle of summoning flared into brightness and the silhouette was gone replaced by a creature of flesh and blood. It towered over the diminutive martial artist by at least a couple of metres and its skin was covered in seeping lesions and it stared down through bloodshot eyes at him and growled.

Happosai cackled and rubbed his hands together as he leapt to his feet pipe in hand. "Hehehehe now sonny you will do as I command, that's the deal, and I want justice for all my burned little pretties!"

The creature's mouth opened revealing a maw of broken teeth and bleeding gums and growled. "NO!"

Happosai frowned. "Don't try welching demon, I have intoned the chant of Bel Shagriofeth, the circle of summoning is complete and the symbols of obedience etched within, no boyo you do as I say!"

The demon smiled in a horrifying manner and it's arm lashed out it's clawed hand snatching the little pervert from the ground and lifted him in the air till they were face to face. "Your words are true little mortal…but only if the circle is prepared properly!" It's jaw cracked as it opened, the lesions bleeding an oily grey as it's teeth closed around the little perverts head and with a crack like a walnut opening sank into the old mans skull.

With the Demon summoner dead at the creatures well claws the gateway remained open and demons poured through the hole between realms. Regular army troops couldn't deal with the threat, bullets and bombs couldn't affect the magic nature of the demons and within a month Japan was over run. The rest of the world quarantined the little island, hell the Americans deployed the fifth fleet to surround Japan so no one could leave.

Japan slowly crumbled, returning to its past of feudal kingdoms as the Government faltered and without the army to protect the citizenry, towns became walled forts whilst cities became smoking ruins as demons ran amok.

It seemed the only thing that could hurt the demons was a magical weapon or Ki/Chi soon enough Nerima became a safe haven of sorts protected by the NWC.

TBC…

AN: what can I say, well for starters my power supply burned out so I bought a new one, it's a simply job replacing it, problem was the new one was faulty…plugged it in ten minutes after doing so my computer blew up taking out the power supply with sparks shooting out the back, a processor that was only two days old and my ram decided to go with it….an expensive problem and time consuming, luckily I recently bought a lap top at auction so I could at least when bored start something new…and this is it.

Yours Truly

The Evil known as Kai Lun Mau