Secrets and Lies
I have kept this one for a while, but now I think I want to post it. Tell me what you think and if I should continue. I know I have changed Abby, but I think she took Kem and the child a little too nicely for someone who was madly in love with Carter. This may get heavy later on, so a PG13 restriction applies.
This will not follow the structure of the show, but my own plot. I apologize if I don't use the right terminology.
Enjoy!
It has been 12 days since he has come back, someone by his side. Although I guess she isn't someone, she's the mother of his child, the love of his life (although I could soooo dispute that), the light in his life. But what about me? Don't I get a factor in this estranged problem? Obviously not, because here I am sitting by myself in the lounge, while everyone else mingles outside, each wanting to know about his trip. Do they not remember that not too long ago I was dropped by means of a letter? No phone call, no email...no a letter. The most degrading thing a person can be served. But you know what. I'm ok with that. He can have his thing, jeez if need be I wish him well.
Susan enters and I see the guilt on her face. She doesn't want to be happy that he is back; I know she is trying to be on my side, but she has been friends with Carter longer, that I know she feels she has ties to him. I would really love to turn away and run right now, but something deep inside keeps me here. Maybe it is the need for someone to talk to me, or maybe I just want to be around.
I mean, nobody knows my secret. When I started Med School I took a transfer to another hospital, which was perfect because it coincided with something I never thought would happen. It turns out, John isn't just going to be the father of that things child, - he already has one. A little girl, who is at the moment sleeping peacefully under the watchful eye of her grandmother (who once she found out I was pregnant calmed down, and is now almost perfectly normal). Her name is Sarah, and she is almost 2 months old, and is the only real thing I have in my life.
Anyway, back to Med School. I trained partly in Seattle, my tummy growing bigger by the day. Nobody asked any questions, I don't think they were game to. The one thing I had during my pregnancy was horrid mood swings. One second I would be happily chatting with a patient, the next second I was yelling at a nurse. Of course, as soon as Sarah was born, I moved back here. It was important, that she grew up in a safe environment, and I felt safe here, plus the hospital knew me. Of course I was not finished with Med School, so I enrolled here, and transferred again.
Life was great for a little while. I was working, studying and taking care of my daughter. But it didn't last long. He came back. Came back as happy as ever, with a pregnant bitch on his arm. And me? Well I'm supposed to just sit here, and act like nothing has happened. Well the bitch has another thing coming. If she thinks, I am going to let my daughter take back seat to her child, than she is wrong. No, my daughter will know who her father is, and what he has done, but I won't tell him. Let him find out for himself. Let him decide which person he likes best.
Harsh aren't I? If there is one thing I have learnt from life, it's that it sucks. The only way to survive is to close yourself from everyone. Well, everyone will see happy stable Abby, and only my beautiful baby girl will see the real me – the happy fun Abby. It will be her privilege. Besides, she didn't exactly choose Carter as her father. I can't really blame her.
Susan has just left again. Maybe one day, she'll be the only one to know about Sarah. But for now it will be my little secret.
Oh and review please!