Author's Note: 30-minute drabble challenge from Lolita K. Excuse the OOCness. Imagine Sasuke mumbling and drifting off-topic during his rambles (as we are all inclined to do occasionally). Light SasuSaku. Humory and light-hearted was my intention. Meant to make you smile. Enjoy, and pop in a review while you're at it. Thanks!

This fic was edited July 04 '05, as the author saw it fit to fix her HORRIBLE and MANY mistakes... which are still there. -slaps herself-

Disclaimer: Naruto does not belong to me. All I own is a computer, a bed, some other crud, and a head that I've been dropped on several times in my childhood. And then again last week. Which explains the screwed-up-ness of this fic.

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SQUARE ONE

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"Kakashi... you wouldn't happen to be… not busy?"

"Hn? What's wrong, Sasuke?"

"I've got a problem."

"Well this is new. Could it be, the Uchiha Sasuke is coming to me for help? Maybe I should charge."

"..."

"Alright, alright. Don't need to give me that look. Spill."

No turning back now.

"It's about..."

"About?"

"...girls."

"Ha! About time you hit puberty!"

"NO!... yes... Maybe?"

"So? Go on."

"See, it's about... Sakura."

"Mhmmmmm."

"I've been doing some thinking, and she's not really that annoying."

"Mhmmmmm."

"And even though her forehead is kind of big, she'll probably grow into it. You know, how ducks grow into their beaks or beavers grow into their teeth or something?"

"Mhm. Right. Something about ducks." I thought we were talking about a girl.

"And even though her hair is pink and pink is kind of a girly color... well she's a girl so she's entitled to it I guess. Yeah, forget I said that."

"Mm...hmm..."

"And I suppose all that screaming and squealing 'SASUKE-KUN' isn't so bad if you put in some earplugs. They look squishy and comfortable and really good at sound-blocking."

"Mhm."

"She did save me from that time Ino ambushed me behind the dumpster, too."

"What were you doing behind a dumpster?"

"Throwing out trash." Obviously.

"Ah. Happen often?"

"Throwing out my trash? Or Ino ambushing me?" This is so weird. I'm talking too much. Maybe I should've just said yes. Both have happened enough times.

"Nevermind. Go back to Sakura."

"What? Oh. Yeah. So. She's kind of pretty, too. Not ugly at least. Not like…nevermind… She'd probably make a good wife, too. And our heir would be cute..."

"Hmm. So... what's your point?"

"...I haven't exactly been a saint to her the past few years."

"Duh."

"And it'd be awkward."

"Mhm."

"So I don't know how to go about asking her out."

"Mhm."

"I mean, she asked me a bunch of times and I guess I could just accept next time, but you know, she might get freaked out by my uncharacteristic not-brushing-her-off-like-she's-a-flea."

"Mhm."

"It'd be kind of out-of-the-blue. She might think I'm possessed. Or even worse, that I'm a fake. And she might pull a Clobber-the-Sasuke-kun-Imposter no Jutsu on me and I'm not sure I want to end up in the hospital or six feet under."

"Mhm."

"I do care about her, though. More than she knows. And it'd be nice if she knew how I felt without me being mushy or weird or anything. If that's possible."

"Mhm."

"How come I care now?"

"Mhm."

"This is frustrating."

"Mhm."

"...Kakashi, are you listening to me? Stop reading 'Icha Icha Paradise' while I'm talking to you!"

"Mhm... urf... ACK. Sasuke... I'd like my book back. Like right now."

"No."

"Please?"

"..."

Kakashi sighed in resignation.

"Sasuke, if you really feel so strongly about it, why don't you just tell her yourself?"

"...Kakashi-sensei..."

"Hn?"

"THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I'M HAVING TROUBLE WITH."

"Oh."

Back to square one.

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end.