Infinity and beyond

Here's another Atlantis fic. I actually like this one better then some of the others. Hope you like!

The cold wind was the only reminder left, that a storm, covering the entire planet had ravaged these parts a day before. The wind, cold and uninviting was the only reminder that the city of Atlantis had almost been lost, that the humanity of a peaceful people had been shattered into a thousand, unfixable pieces.

Elizabeth Weir, despite the cold, stood on her favorite balcony, watching the beauty of Atlantis, and the sea, now calm, gently hit the side. Flashes of memories rushed through her mind, of her time with Kolya. She felt a horrible sinking feeling in her heart every time she thought of John, alone, trying to help herself and McKay without dieing himself. Being told she was dead by Kolya as a ploy.

She still remembered the words which had come so coldly, they chilled her to the bone. Once John had found out she had died (supposedly), his voice had darkened, she had heard it, McKay might not have noticed the difference, but she did. And she knew this was the sound of a man who had nothing to lose.

But every time she tried to convince herself it's over, it's just a memory, the nightmare would return in full blown colour and sound. In one horrible dream she had the night before, she watched, powerless, as John sprinted into the control room in desperation to save her when Kolya had the gun, except, he didn't make it. As he came through the door, the sound of a gun could be heard, and John, staring at Elizabeth, eyes grew wide and round, a small 'Oh.' escaped his lips before he crumpled to his knees, hands pressing down on his stomach. He continued watching Elizabeth as she screamed and tried to run to him, but it was to late. He fell silently to his side, eyes losing their flare for life.

He was dead.

She would wake, fearful and shaking, blindly running from her quarters to his, where she stood for a while, watching his closed door. She opened it silently and watched him sleeping, his snoring light. He rustled slightly as she sat beside him and ran a finger along his cheek, before she felt calm enough to leave. But she knew he was awake. John could hear a mouse enter his room, even if he had been deeply sleeping. She had felt his eyes on her back as she left, but they both knew it was as close as they were allowed to be.

So now she stood, alone as she was always meant to be, dreaming of something she could never have, and wishing for a life just out of her reach.

The soft footsteps behind her were always going to be there. The hand that secretly slipped into hers, was always going to be hers, but most importantly that smile, that smile he reserved especially for her, was always going to be just hers. For infinity.

John knew what Liz was going through, because he was going through it too. He had the same dreams over and over, never ending. Replaying that moment where he found out she was dead.

It would never be behind him. He would never stop worrying until he saw her standing on that balcony, waiting for them to return from a mission, he would never stop caring, every time he saw her with another man, and he would always feel that sick feeling in her stomach and that heavy heart, whenever she was sick or injured.

Because he was going to love her.

For infinity.

And perhaps, one day when they had no responsibilities, when she was ready and when he was ready, they could be together, but for now they had commitments, they had people who relied on them both, and a future that was so uncertain. One day he would like to take her in his arms and kiss her, one day he would like to hold her hand in public, and one day he would like to wake up with her beside him.

She squeezed his hand slightly then, and turned to walk inside and he watched her go, wondering.

Perhaps that future with her is not as far away as he thought.

End.