Disclaimer: Neon Genesis Evangelion belongs to Gainax. I make no profit by writing this fiction. All ideas in this story are my own; similarities with other fictions are purely coincidental.

Author's note: This is a prequel to Red Tears. Broken is a story on Rei's self-discovery. English is not my first language. Warning for mild violence and sexual content.

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Red Tears: Broken

Chapter 1

The clanking sound broke the silence in the dimly lit room,signalling the beginning of the daily construction outside the apartment. It was a substitution to an old, worn out alarm clock sitting boringly on the study table. Filthy dirt lay across the floor like a grey layer of skin. The moulds eaten walls shrouded what had once been a smooth surface. Sunlight was something rarely welcomed in this room and the thick musty curtain hanging down the window made sure of that.

Each resonating sound disturbed a peaceful heartbeat of the room's only occupant, heightening the level of irritation gradually until her eyes were forced opened. She sat up straight, her eyelids feeling heavy and her muscles feeling numb. Slowly, she pulled off her thin blanket and got off the limp mattress onto the cold morning floor.

It was another normal day…

Ayanami Rei was a simple girl living a complicated life. To be more precise, her mind was simple beyond words, and her life was complicated beyond sentences. She walked towards the washroom with her head facing straight, seemingly unconcerned by her surroundings. This had always been the case. To her, the path had been laid before her; she would do what was necessary and fulfil her purpose.

"Who are you?" She asked the girl staring back at her from the mirror. It was something she would do each morning, although she never understood why. The words just felt right. The question was simple, but the girl in the mirror had never given her an answer. She would just stand there looking back at her blankly.

Figuring that she would not receive a response, she turned away and carefully changed into her school uniform. Her eyes fell on the pair of glasses on the table as she finished tying her ribbon. She picked the object up and held it to her nose, inhaling the metallic scent before putting it back. It reminded her of the commander, of how he had created her and saved her before. He cared about her, and so she must do whatever he told her to. It was simple logic.

Rei gently put the cracked glasses down and grabbed the bottle sitting next to it. She shook a little reddish orange pill out and put it into her mouth. Her other hand reached up for the beaker. She pressed it against her lips and swallowed the pill together with a mouthful of water. It was just daily routine.

The pills were just something required for her to maintain her AT-field, her life. And the commander gave them to her. She had to feel grateful. Reminding herself one last time, Rei left her apartment into the day outside.

Unknown to most other people, Rei enjoyed the sun although it was only a subconscious feeling. It seemed to be an escape from her cold and empty life, although she had never allowed herself to further explore this emotion. All she knew was emotions were unnecessary, and thus not worth her time and effort. Her pale skin brightened even more as the sunlight reflected off it.

Pale skin was considered beautiful in her country, but no one had ever complimented her for it. Her walk to the school was uneventful, as it always had been. The quiet girl had never drawn attention to herself. Not even the perverted thugs living around her neighbourhood cared to cast her a second look, because apart from her unusual hair and eye colour, Rei was simply a plain looking girl. Life outside NERV was always quiet.

It was quiet until she reached the school…

"Look! It's that Ayanami girl!"

"Dear lord! Her hair is even messier than yesterday!"

"Maybe she got busy last night!"

"Her?! Haha Asuka would sleep with Aida before that happened!"

Gossip was common in her school, but it was amazing how a quiet girl like her could become the topic of the blabbering girls. The voices had never gone unnoticed. Rei heard most of what they said. After all, it was hard not to notice since they gossiped about her as if she wasn't even in the same room. Rei knew she was classified as a loser by her classmates, but she didn't care.

She sat down at her table and stared out of the window. Her washed out reflection on the glass looked back at her.

"Who are you?" She asked again, not expecting to elicit an answer. Her eyes left her own image and rolled upwards to meet the reflection of the class rep. Hikari was standing just beside her table with a pile of papers in her arms.

"Ayanami, you left class early yesterday, so I've picked up your assignments for you." She said, trying to sound cheerful, as she put the papers down on the table. "Here it is."

Rei slowly redirected her gaze back to the fields outside. It was a bright day and she had a clear view of the mountains. But the clouds looked heavy in the not so distant sky. Birds were flying away from that direction. The school was rapidly filling up in the last five minutes before the bell would ring. Noises were getting louder and disturbing her thoughts, but at least they were no longer talking about her.

It was when she turned around that she noticed Hikari still standing beside her. She shifted her balance from one foot to the other and looked at Rei nervously. The blue haired girl felt something stirring up inside her. She felt an urge to ask the question why. But she kept quiet and stared at the class rep.

"You know, I probably don't need to tell you this, but Ayanami, just ignore what the girls were saying, all right?" Hikari said before quickly turning away and walked back to her seat. It wasn't the first time the she had tried to console Rei, but the blue haired girl simply assumed that she was just fulfilling her duty as a class representative.

The class went on as usual. The few hardworking students were furiously jotting down notes; the rest were either dossing off or exercising their typing skills with instant messengers. It was history class. The subject was full of stories Rei didn't understand. So instead, she took out her mathematics textbook and started doing her assignments. To Rei, solving problems with logic was more satisfying.

Her concentration was broken when a message appeared on her laptop. The quiet girl stared at the screen; it was very rare for anyone to send her a message, and almost all her messages had had something to do with NERV. She let her hand glide over the table and press a button to read what was written.

Dear all,

Next Friday is my birthday. There will be a party at my apartment. Come at 7pm. Bring food (and presents). All are invited.

Except Ayanami.

Miaka

A wave of laughter swept across the classroom as her other classmates saw what was written on their screens. Miaka was a beautiful blonde and one of the girls who liked to tease her. Rei turned off the screen and returned to her homework.

The moody looking clouds were now hanging directly on top of the city. A chill wind had risen. The class was now washed by a dull grey and the teacher had to switch on the lights for the students to read properly. The atmosphere in the class was somehow dampened and the bickering died out over time. Rei continued to drown herself in math. It was fascinating; she never had to ask the question why. All of them were logical questions. Rei had nearly finished when the school bell rang. It was time for lunch.

Rei's actions were almost robotic. It looked as if she had been trained to follow the sequence. She put away her books neatly; stood up; zipped her bag closed; pushed the chair under the table and walked towards the cafeteria staring straight ahead. It was remarkable how she didn't manage to bump into someone walking from beside her. A few of her classmates laughed again before the class rep silenced them.

Lunch was almost always the same. The kitchen staff didn't seem to put much effort into preparing vegetarian food. Rei paid for her food and sat down at the corner of a long table. There was a window right next to her seat. As she ate, she stared out to the rain. Droplets of water hit the glass continuously, creating a popping noise.

The blue haired girl was disturbed when a male voice spoke to her.

"Do you mind if I sit here?" He asked. Rei looked up and saw that it was Shinji. She took another bite and returned to the window, seemingly unaware that Shinji was there. Nevertheless, the boy took it as a no and sat down opposite her. Both of them ate quietly.

But the peace was not meant to last long. A few minutes later, Toji and Kensuke joined the table without asking Rei. They started talking to Shinji and soon afterwards, Hikari managed to drag Asuka to the table. It became very noisy all of a sudden, with the red head being exceptionally loud. She was bragging about how she had single-handedly destroyed Angels, and how the other two pilots wouldn't have survived if it wasn't for her brilliant battle plans. Only Kensuke was slightly interested, but Hikari was putting in occasional "oohs" and "aahs" to support her friend.

Rei paid no attention to any of them. Her mind was wondering why Shinji had chosen to sit beside her this day. The rest of her tablemates were not questioned, however. She knew they followed Shinji wherever he went.

Her eyes fell on Shinji. There was a disgusted look on his face. It was slightly reddened and looked as if something sick had happened. Although this could have been her imagination, for when Shinji's eyes met hers, his lips curved upwards and a warm smile appeared on his gentle face. Rei was not fazed. She stood up and left the table without a word. She had finished her lunch and there was no point in staying.

The rest of the school went on casually with the sounds of the rain blurring the teachers' various speeches. Rei finished her homework quietly and took out a red notebook from her pocket. She flipped a few pages before stopping. The little book recorded all her schedules and she would often check it to make sure she didn't miss any appointments. There was nothing for her that evening. She could go home and rest.

The walk back to her apartment was wet. The rain had not stopped and as a result, her clothes were dampened. They were glued to her body like a second layer of skin. Her blue locks plastered on her face. There was water inside her shoes and her socks felt very uncomfortable. Nevertheless, Rei didn't bother increasing her speed. She simply moved on as if it was a sunny day, until someone stopped her.

"Ayanami! Ayanami!" A familiar voice called from behind. The boy quickly caught up and was standing beside her in a short moment. The rain suddenly seemed to have stopped. Rei looked up. Shinji's umbrella had shielded her from the water droplets. "I thought you would need this."

"No." She replied simply before continuing her walk, but Shinji was walking beside her. Together, they shared an umbrella. The two children went on silently. The only noise they could hear was the splashing sound of the rain hitting the road.

"I told you I do not need the umbrella." Rei broke the silence.

Shinji stopped when he heard her. He stood there stunned, as Rei walked away from him into the rain once again.

The world felt lonely and spent. The droplets hitting on her shoulder seemed to get heavier. Some malfunctioning street lamps twinkled in the distance. Her cheap bag was now thoroughly wet and most likely her assignments as well. Rei wanted to get back home as fast as she could. She might have to redo her homework.

During the next few days, Rei's time was spent doing synch tests and bathing in LCL. It wasn't until the weekend that she started thinking about what had happened that day. She had turned Shinji away. But why had Shinji been acting so strangely that day? First, he had sat beside her during lunch. Then he had offered to share his umbrella with her.

The pale girl lay on the bed with her eyes closed. So many questions were floating in her mind; there were so many things she didn't understand. It had been cold walking alone in the rain. When the boy had turned up, there had been a slight touch of warmth, both on the inside and out. It had felt agreeable. But she had turned him away. Why?

Unable to find an answer, Rei chose to ignore it. The bottle which used to store her pills was now empty. The commander would visit her tonight and she needed to get some sleep. The sessions with him were never pleasant, but she had to do what she had to do. The commander had created her and she owed him her life. She would do whatever she was told and fulfilled her destiny. It was as simple as that.

As expected, the commander came that night. He didn't bother knocking on the door. Rei didn't mind. His footsteps were heavy but not rushed. The commander went on with his business as usual. His kisses felt rough and lusty; his big hands were strong; and then there was the familiar sharp pain. The girl had never enjoyed it, but the man's scarred hand reminded her of who she belonged to. She endured the experience.

He always spent the night sleeping on her bed after the sessions. His hands were around her naked body as he mumbled the name of his late wife in the sleep. But tonight something different happened. When Rei looked up at the bearded man, she was reminded of his son.

The commander put a new bottle of pills on her table before he left the following morning.

"Rei, you can have today off. Come to the headquarters tomorrow night at 2100. There will be a synch test." The commander said before going.

"Yes sir." Rei replied, still lying naked on the bed. She struggled slightly to get up and wash herself in the shower. She didn't like the sticky feeling inside her. Trying to clear them up was a painful experience but she didn't let it bother her. Slowly and carefully, she dried herself with an old towel and got dressed into her school uniform. Before she left, Rei swallowed another pill.

It was another normal day.

Walking to school was more difficult today. Rei felt a stinging pain between her legs but she moved on. That was no excuse for missing school. It was made even worse by the rain. Rei didn't bother running. Even if she wanted to, she wouldn't be able to do so.

By the time she arrived at school, Rei was soaking wet again. She saw some of the male students making obscene gestures and heard them whistling shamelessly at her. As she walked towards her classroom, she could hear the female students gossiping about her again. It was nothing unusual. So Rei didn't pay them any attention.

She sat down on her chair, rested her head on her palm and stared out of the window. She had never thought about why she seemed to do it so often.

"Ayanami." A gentle voice woke her up from the trance. She recognised it as Shinji's. "Ayanami…you're all wet."

Rei didn't bother giving an answer. It was obvious to anyone that she was wet. Shinji's words had no purpose at all. That was before the thin boy handed her a school uniform.

"Here, take this." He said as he put the uniform on her table. It was a female set. "I knew you don't have an umbrella, and that you would get wet. So…so I borrowed this uniform from Asuka."

Rei stared at the pile of clothes and then at Shinji. There was a tinkling sensation inside her. Despite the cold weather, she felt as if she was heating up. She had never thought about anyone doing something this simple for her, and that something this simple could stir up the pleasant feeling she felt within. Why was Shinji so thoughtful? She had turned him away that day, but it didn't seem to have bothered him.

The drenched girl stood up and left the classroom with the dry uniform Shinji had provided her. She proceeded to the washroom and got changed. The clothes seemed too big for her, especially on the chest and the hips. It felt loose but overall it was comfortable.

When she returned to the classroom, several female students snickered. Her eyes caught Shinji smiling and once again she felt that she was heating up. It felt really nice. She wanted to smile back at Shinji but someone stopped her on the track.

"So, how was last night?" Miaka asked her loudly, drawing the attention of the whole class.

Rei just stood there quietly.

"I asked you." Miaka asked even louder. "How was last night?" She made exaggerated gestures with both her hands as if she was talking to a person who had difficulties understanding her language. Her gang of friends laughed. By this time, all the students in the classroom had stopped whatever they had been doing and stared curiously at Rei and Miaka.

"I do not understand." Rei said quietly.

"Don't play dumb with me." Miaka replied. "The way you're walking. You got busy last night, didn't you? So who was it?"

Rei tried to walk past her but was blocked by her friends. "Please. I wish to return to my seat." She said, but Miaka ignored her.

"So was it Aida the pig? Or was it Suzuhara the ass?" Miaka continued with her rude remarks.

"HEY!!!" Toji and Kensuke yelled from the back.

The situation felt strange for Rei. She had been insulted before but not in such manner. There was a flicker of fire inside her stomach, and it seemed to be growing. She didn't want her affairs with the commander to be found out either. Miaka was about to open her mouth again when Shinji stood in between her and Rei.

"Stop being so rude, Miaka." He said with a frown on his face. Miaka seemed surprised and disappointed. But she stood her ground defiantly.

"There is nothing that needs to be said. Everyone here can see how she walks." She grinned. Shinji held his arms out protectively in front of Rei. The three of them stood there staring at each other before Hikari shouted for them to return to their seats. The teacher came in shortly after.

School was unusually tense this day. Rei felt different. She didn't understand why Shinji had protected her a little while ago. The blue haired girl cast a look at the boy. He saw her and smiled back. Upon seeing this, Rei had a very unusual urge to do something. She wanted to smile back. But before she could do that, the bell rang and it was lunchbreak. Once again, Rei was unable to come out with an answer. It served nothing for her purpose and she should just forget about it.

However, she decided not to go to the cafeteria. Rei was afraid that other schoolmates would start noticing her gait and she didn't want people to start another situation similar to what Miaka had done. Her stomach let out a soft growl. Rei took out her water bottle and took a few sips. She then rested her head on the table and fell asleep. Her body was still tired from the events of last night.

It was a dreamless sleep. She was woken up by a few gentle pushes on her shoulder. Rei opened her eyes and saw Shinji. The brown haired boy was carrying a container with a few pieces of sushi inside it.

"Sorry to wake you up, Ayanami, but lunchbreak is almost over and I…I heard your stomach making sounds…" He blushed as he said this. "Here," he said and held out the container, "would you like some of these?"

"No." Rei said. Shinji's face fell. The flicker of light inside his eyes vanished in an instant.

"Ok…if you need anything, just let me know." Shinji was about to get up and leave before Rei stopped him.

"I changed my mind. I would like some…please…" It was hard saying the word please, but Rei felt like saying it. The word seemed appropriate. Shinji's face lit up immediately as he sat back down on the chair beside hers.

"Here, take as much as you want. There is no meat in there." He said a bit too enthusiastically.

Rei picked up a piece and took a bite. It tasted very nice. Her salivation and appetite suddenly increased with the brilliant taste. She swallowed the remaining of the piece before digging in to take out another one.

"Do you like it?" Shinji asked hopefully.

"Yes I do." Rei gave a simple answer before deciding to add, "Very much."

Shinji beamed at her answer. "I made them myself."

Something hot stirred inside Rei again. It was not uncomfortable. Instead, it was very pleasant. She felt warm. It was amazing how simple things could give this kind of feelings; and it was amazing how Shinji was willing to do simple things for her without asking for anything back. She looked into his eyes. They were sincere and caring. It was new to her, but she found herself wondering why she had never felt this way, and wishing that she would be able to experience it more often.

Rei smiled and mouthed the words, "Thank you."

She just let it out naturally. It felt right.

"Y-you're welcome," Shinji stared at her with wide eyes before he pushed the container towards her hand. "Here! Have some more!" He suddenly felt really happy.

Before Rei could take another piece out, a very loud voice boomed across the classroom, temporarily deafening her.

"BAKA SHINJI!!!" Asuka came storming towards them. "You gave her MY lunch?!?!"

"A-Asuka listen to me!" Shinji tried to explain but the words came out like bubbles. In other words, no one could understand what he was saying.

"First MY uniform! And now MY lunch?!?!" Asuka made sure she emphasized the word "my". She snatched the container away from Rei, picked up a piece and put it in her mouth.

"Please Asuka, she's hungry." Shinji pleaded.

Asuka's eyes darted from Shinji to Rei, and then from Rei to Shinji. She stood there for a moment, raising her eyebrow and putting up a suspicious look on her face. Finally she sat down and put the container back on the table. "I didn't say I wouldn't share."

"Thank you," Shinji said feeling relieved. Asuka didn't mind sharing. After all, she didn't prepare the sushi herself. Shinji did it for her.

The two girls ate silently. Asuka continued to sweep looks between the brown haired boy and the blue haired girl. She felt that something fishy was going on. Asuka didn't miss the earlier incident when Shinji had tried to protect Rei from Miaka. Tension was growing. Shinji was sweating more heavily with each passing minute. Rei was surprised by the Second Child's willingness to share. Strange things had been going on lately. Without any question, she took the last piece and swallowed it with a gulp.

Asuka's mouth widened at Rei's action. That was her sushi and it was rude for Rei to do that.

"Thank you, Sohryu," Rei said. She was still feeling funny from Shinji's kindness, "for the uniform and the sushi."

Asuka's mouth widened even more, the piece of sushi fell from her mouth and hit the ground with a splat. Rei had never called her by her name before. Shinji's smile broadened. Before anyone could say anything, a blonde girl came and sat on the table.

"So, Shinji, are you coming to the birthday party?" Miaka asked faking a sweet voice.

Shinji glared at her, "only if Ayanami is coming."

Miaka stared at him, "Why?!"

Shinji kept quiet while Miaka's eyes gradually grew larger until it looked as if they were going to fall out of their sockets. She gritted her teeth and shot an angry glare at Rei, who was feeling as surprised as she was about Shinji's response. The blonde clenched her fists tightly as her face twisted into a dark look.

"Are you sure about that?" She pressed on, hoping that Shinji would change his mind. The boy gave no response. He didn't even look at her. His eyes were fixed on Rei. "Loser," Miaka scolded as she finally gave up and turned to Asuka, "You're coming, aren't you?"

"Of cour-" The red head blurted out but stopped halfway. Her eyes darted left and right before she continued, "No, sorry Miaka. I've got a date with Kaji on Friday."

"What?! B-but you told me that man had left the country for the week!" Miaka almost shouted. She had a shocked look on her face and her hands were trembling slightly. It wasn't hard to figure out why. Asuka was considered the most beautiful girl in school. Her presence alone would draw a lot of male students to the party. Miaka, although attractive, was no where near as popular as the red haired beauty.

"Oh that. Sorry, a slip of the tongue." She grabbed Shinji's hand before she continued, "actually, I'm going out with Shinji on Friday night." Her sentence was spoken out in a very natural and smooth way. No one would have figured out it was a lie if Shinji had not suddenly started talking bubbles again. Rei was still confused.

Miaka shot all three of them a dark look, "you're all going to regret this." She then stormed away cursing under her breath.

Soon afterwards, the bell rang. Asuka and Shinji returned to their respective seats. Class went on as if nothing had happened. The old skinny teacher had never been interested in the students' affairs before, and would never be. His speeches bore into the minds of the students and soon, none of them were paying any attention. Rei was still feeling confused.

All of a sudden, she felt as if a little pillar had been erected inside her, supporting her and giving her a kind tenderness which she had never experienced before. She had never even thought that such emotions existed. Both Shinji and Asuka had rejected Miaka's invitation. The voice inside her kept telling her that she didn't hate Miaka, and that whatever the other two pilots did had nothing to do with her purpose.

Yes she could not deny there was sparkling warmth inside her heart. It felt pleasant and she wanted the feeling to continue. She put her palm over her chest but could feel no abnormal change in temperature. Rei didn't understand how this could be possible.

What made her even more confused was the heavy lump which seemed stuck somewhere in the back of her throat. Unlike the warmth, this didn't feel good at all. It gave a dull, weary sensation and seemed to be trying to pull a piece of her body away from her. Rei tried not to think about it, but she failed miserably as she found herself wondering about the many questions floating on her mind.

Shinji didn't talk to her for the rest of the day. After school ended, Rei walked home quietly. It had become a sunny day. Rei liked the sun, but this time there was an odd desire coursing through her body. It was as if she had wanted it to rain, although she couldn't figure out why.

Rain would make her wet and damage her homework. It made her apartment cold and it was hard to fall asleep during cold weathers, but why was she hoping that it would rain? Maybe if it started raining, Shinji would bring her an umbrella. Rei thought of the absurd explanation as she reached her apartment. There was no logic in that answer. But then again, logic had not been able to solve any of her questions earlier that afternoon when she had tried to apply it.

She sat down on her bed. Her delicate fingers reached upwards to feel for the lump around her neck, but she didn't manage to touch it. There was a boring sensation radiating from the lump. The girl stared at the seconds as they ticked away on her clock. Rei felt an unusual desire to get up and do something. For the first time, she was aware of her linear life. It was too sudden for her. She hated changes, but Shinji had showed her what it felt like to be cared for.

But Shinji and Asuka were going to date. Was that the reason for the lump she felt in her throat? Rei had never been interested in other student's private relationship, but somehow knowing that her fellow pilots were dating had bothered her. The quiet girl lay down on her bed and stared at the ceiling.

Hours passed by. The orange light of sunset was soon replaced by a black curtain. The room was barely visible with rays of silvery moonlight cruising through. Still, Rei lay on her bed until she heard her front door creak open and close. This was followed by heavy footsteps and lusty breaths. Rei knew who it was.

The commander had another session with her that night. It had taken a little longer than usual, but Rei had already gotten used to that a long time ago. The bearded man stood up after he was done.

"I have an appointment tonight. Take a rest and sleep well." He said as he put on his clothes.

The last part of his sentence prompted another unfamiliar emotion inside the quiet girl. Did the commander truly care for her? He had created her and helped her maintain her life by giving her the pills. The commander decided her destiny. He needed her and he expected her to obey him. But did the commander truly care for her? He saved her, burning his hands in the process. Rei had never questioned his intentions. To her, it had always been a simple matter of subordination. Yet she couldn't help but realise that despite what she had been told, Rei had never liked the commander. She had never felt grateful towards him.

Rei had never felt grateful towards the commander in the way she felt towards Shinji. The commander did things for her, and he wanted something back; Shinji did things for her, but he had never asked for anything. When Rei smiled for the commander, it was something similar to following an order; but when she smiled for Shinji, it was something which came right out of her heart.

"Sir, may I ask you some questions?" Rei asked before the commander left.

"What?" He said harshly.

"I feel emotions building up in me. I wish to understand them." Rei replied.

"They are unnecessary. Concentrate on your purpose." He said with a cold, hard voice.

"Yes sir," She said. Although she had hoped for the commander to explain them properly to her, Rei didn't dare to push it any further. His answer was absolute. Her creator marched away towards the door, leaving Rei on the bed. Before he left, he paused and turned back to her.

"Just do as I say. Your day will come very soon," he said before leaving. "Forget about the emotions." The door slammed shut. The room was once again silent.

Rei lay back down on her bed. Despite being exhausted, her breaths were still smooth and gentle. The pain between her legs didn't seem to be affecting her. The commander had always avoided similar questions. He had always told her to ignore her own emotions, but for the first time, Rei felt unsatisfied by his answers. She had a burning desire to know.

Things had been changing since Shinji had come to the city. The world didn't seem as dim as it once had. Synch tests didn't seem to be as tiring as before; school seemed to be more educational than she had previously thought. The little things Shinji had done for her started creeping out of the locked chamber in her mind.

Shinji piloted for her during the third angel; she had protected him during the fifth angel and in return, he had burnt his hands trying to open her entry plug; he had asked for her to smile; Shinji had shielded her when Asuka was trying to bully her; they had managed to achieve perfect synchronisation during the eighth angel; he had cleaned her apartment for her and taken care of her hand when she had accidentally burnt it.

They were all insignificant things, but suddenly they had meant so much to her.

If Shinji hadn't shown her a way, she would still not have discovered the hidden feelings inside. She wanted to explore them, to get to know them, to understand them. But who could she turn to for help? Shinji was the one who had started the emotions.

Maybe Shinji could give her answers. Rei reminded herself as she drifted off to sleep.