It's a feminine thing.

By: Defafaeth Mechqua

Summary: What happens when you take a drinking, killing, gambling, smoking high priest by the name of Genjyo Sanzo and turn him into a woman? This story for one thing.

Chapter 1: Surprise! It's a girl!

¸,ø¤º°°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°°º¤ø,¸

Hell. A desolate yet vast blistering inferno full of tortured souls being tormented by the devil's minions over and over for their crimes against others. A place where a certain kappa and high priest were guaranteed a free trip too. Where a specific monkey king might be headed for and where a chi wielding demon was certified (in all probability) never to have to even be near.

And that was how the most reverent high priest Genjyo Sanzo felt at the moment.

"Ergh." Sanzo groaned as he blinked open his bleary eyes. Sitting up he held a hand to his head and looked around. Bed. Drawer. Other bed. Desk. Window. Hakkai's eye glass (which were broken). Other window. Door. Floor. Ceiling. Baka saru's Nyoi-bo. Gun. Bandaged arms. Ero kappa's lighter. Ah ha! His cancer sticks! (AKA cigarettes.)

"Hey guys! He's awake! He's awake!" A young voice eagerly called out. Sanzo looked up to see a certain monkey king standing in the doorway with a relieved expression on his face.

"Out of the way baka saru!" A gruff voice growled. Gojyo. "Move! I wanna see his – no – her face!" The kappa said shoving Goku to the side.

'The fuck? What the hell is the bloody kappa talking about now?' The priest wondered vaguely as he reached towards his pack of Malboros that was sitting conveniently on the bedside table.

"Get lost you pervy nympho!" Goku shouted shoving Gojyo back. As soon as the kappa was out of sight the saru rushed over to the priest with concerned eyes. "Err . . . are you feeling all right Sanzo?"

Raising an eyebrow the priest was about to reply when the monkey went soaring to the left only to be replaced by the eerily smirking figure that belonged to Gojyo. "How are you feeling MISS Sanzo?" He asked leaning towards the said priest with a weird glint in his eyes.

Sanzo sweat-dropped. Miss Sanzo? What the hell had the kappa been drinking? "What the fucking hell are you – " Huh?! He grabbed his throat. Had his voice always been this high pitched before?

Suddenly Gojyo was shoved away and substituted by the figure of a certain monkey king holding what appeared to be a mirror. "You might want to look at his Sanzo." He said solemnly holding out the mirror before the priest. "Look at your reflection . . ."

The priest did just that – and nearly fainted. Boobs. That was the first thing he immediately noticed. The second was the PINK shirt he had on wasn't his. The fact that he had feminine extremities (triple underline feminine) made him feel something beyond words. And it wasn't a good feeling either. Oh hell. So naturally the Sanzo did just what any male would've done in his position; he looked down and poked his brand new appendages. jiggle Dammit! They were HUGE! How the fuck had he NOT noticed them in the first place?!

Suddenly he threw the covers to reveal smooth hairless long legs. He could feel the fact that it was missing but he just had to see for himself, like the old saying; seeing is believing. Ignoring the interested stares of the other occupants of the room he quickly unzipped the white shorts that didn't belong to him but were covering him nonetheless then lifted up his underwear that also did not belong to him and took a peek.

Someone up there did NOT like him at all.

¸,ø¤º°°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°°º¤ø,¸

In the sky Bonsatsu laughed and laughed and laughed.

¸,ø¤º°°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°°º¤ø,¸

Yaone shivered.

Kougaiji glanced at her in concern. "You all right?"

The demon girl looked towards her master with a small smile. "I'm all right my lord." She said reassuringly. "It's just that . . . for a moment there I felt . . ."

"Great evil?" Kougaiji supplied.

Yaone nodded. "Yes . . . great evil indeed."

¸,ø¤º°°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°°º¤ø,¸

He groaned. Blinking open his eyes he sat up to be greeted by Hakkai's warm and sympathetic gaze. "Good evening Sanzo!" He said cheerfully from his position in a nearby chair.

Not replying the priest looked at his chest. Damn. They were still there. He grumbled something incoherent before burying his head in his hands. "What the did I do to deserve this!?"

"Weell – "

"Don't answer that! I don't want to have to shoot the only other adult in this group." Gojyo snarled.

Wisely Hakkai changed the subject. "I believe the reason for this transformation of yours is due to some sort of smoke."

"Smoke?"

A nod. "Do you remember our last battle against that unruly youkai . . . . Wakamaru I believe his name was."

A grunt of agreement.

"When he knocked you out he spat out some sort of green liquid at you but he missed and it landed next to you. The liquid then started to disintegrate into smoke. We didn't think much of it at first so we just killed off Wakamaru." Hakkai said in an apologetic voice. "We loaded you up in the jeep and drove to the nearest village but when we went to get you out of the back we found you . . ."

"Were a female." Gojyo finished. Sighing deeply the revered priest swiped his smokes located on the bedside table next to some food. "So I must've inhaled the smoke and that's what turned me female?"

"We don't know." The chi-wielding demon said. "But it's the only thing we have to go by right now."

"Mhhhmmm." The priest just looked at his pack of cigarettes before replacing it on the counter. "The others?"

"Downstairs eating as you should be doing."

"Not hungry." Genjyo growled.

Hakkai persisted. "You've been out of it for two days now you have to eat – "

"I. Am. Not. Hungry." The blonde repeated more forcefully.

A pause. "I got you a can of your favorite beer here."

"Later."

The demon barely stopped himself from gaping. This was bad. He wasn't swearing. He wasn't smoking. He wasn't even drinking! Maybe the gunk affected more than his outside appearance . . . . .

¸,ø¤º°°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°°º¤ø,¸

Thank you C.T! - You're a lifesaver! (And I don't mean the candy)