A/N: Well, folks, this is it. Exactly seven and a half years ago, I wrote my first slash story, a one-shot that turned into a two-shot that somehow became a multi-chapter story that I had no idea where it was going for the longest time. I just want to thank everyone who has read, reviewed, favorited, and alerted this story along the way. I started this story as a teenager, and it only took me until my mid-twenties to finish it, but here it is!

Enough of my rambling. Enjoy the final chapter!

If I'm going down, I'm taking it to the bitter fucking end.

"Holy shit, dude!"

Then puking. Lots of puking.

I can't be hearing what I'm hearing. Or more specifically, whom I'm hearing.

I shove Cartman off me and stand up to face my worst fear manifesting right before my eyes. Stan's hunched over behind some trees, still throwing up. Kenny slowly approaches behind him, unable to look Cartman or me in the eye.

Fuck, they really found us. And we were just…fuck, they just saw us all over each other!

Things grow quieter as Stan begins to dry heave. He coughs…and starts puking again.

Something tells me this isn't going to go well.

Finally, there's silence. Stan slowly approaches us, clutching my hat in his hand (which thankfully he did not vomit on despite its close proximity), Kenny following close behind him. Stan stares at me bitterly before tossing my hat back to me. I put it on sheepishly, my eyes gravitating toward the ground. I can't bear to look at him right now.

I cringe when I hear him speak up. "So uh…you wanna tell me what the fuck is going on here, Kyle?" he shouts.

"You see, Kahl and I—"

"No! I'm talking to Kyle right now, fatass. I'll deal with you in a minute," Stan seethes acidly. I'm somewhat surprised to see Cartman cower back and let Stan continue. He turns back and eyes me intently.

"Kyle, what are you doing here?"

"I could ask you the same thing. How'd you guys get here?"

"Don't try to change the subject."

"Oh, yeah. Sorry."

"So…?"

"So what?"

"The fuck do you think, Kyle? Why did Kenny and I just find you guys making out on the ground over there?"

My face grows hot. This is it—they saw everything. There's nowhere else to go from here. I can't lie anymore. Dammit, why'd this have to happen right at the end? We were about to get away with it!

"Uh…" I'm speechless. I was so afraid of being caught, but I didn't consider the reality of it actually happening. I don't know what to do. I don't know what to say.

God dammit, Stan wasn't supposed to find out!

I continue to stammer. Stan's face eventually softens as he watches me struggle. "Look, dude. If he's been taking advantage of you…it's okay. You don't have to listen to him anymore."

Cartman glares at Stan and for a split second, I realize this is a way out—my last way out. I could put all the blame on Cartman and play the innocent victim. I wouldn't have to tell the truth.

But there's no way I could do that. Even with all the bullshit Cartman's put me through over the years, I don't want to do that to him. It'd be such a dick move.

I sigh. I've made my decision. It's too late to turn back now. "No, that's…that's not what was going on. I—I…wanted it to happen."

There's silence for a moment.

"WHAT?" Stan exclaims.

"Oh shit! I always had a feeling about you two, but…" Kenny explodes in laughter, barely able to form a coherent sentence, "…but you guys…actually…"

I roll my eyes as laughter overtakes him. I glance at Stan, who's fighting back the urge to dry heave again.

Maybe this was a mistake.

"Jesus, Kyle…how long has this been going on?" Stan asks between heaves.

"Uh…since I first started tutoring Cartman."

"Fuck, really? You guys have been at this for months?"

The way he words that makes me blush. "Uh, yeah."

"What started it?"

"I don't know. It just kinda…happened one day. And then it…you know…kept happening," I finish sheepishly.

Kenny shoots his eyes back and forth between Cartman and me, a mischievous grin on his face. "So…you guys fuckin'?"

"NO!" we shout in unison. Stan breathes a sigh of relief.

"What are you doing, then, exactly?" Kenny asks.

The bluntness of his question stops me in my tracks. I don't even know if I know the answer myself. What are we doing, anyway? What does all this mean?

"Um…we just, you know…uh…I don't know."

"Well, I'll help you figure it out. You want to know what I think?"

"Okay."

"I think you guys are dating."

"What? Fuck that!" Cartman shouts. Stan's eyes bug out at Kenny's suggestion. My cheeks burn and I suddenly feel the urge to pass out…or at the very least crawl into a hole somewhere and die.

"We're not dating, Kenny. Don't be ridiculous."

What the fuck? Why would he use that word?

"Come on now," Kenny continues. "You've been hanging out in secret for months, getting sweet hate action from each other. But for some reason, that wasn't enough, so you came to North Park for a…change of scenery."

"I guess you could say that."

"A place where you guys can spend time together away from the prying eyes of others."

"Uh…yeah."

"See each other in a different light."

"…Maybe."

"This isn't the first time you guys have done this."

"No, it's not."

"How many times?"

"I'm not sure."

"Because you've lost count!"

"Fuck off, Kenny!" Cartman shouts. Unfortunately that turns Kenny's attention to him.

"So, Cartman…" he starts with a grin, "which one of you initiated this?"

"Just now?"

"No, dumbass. The first time."

"Oh, uh…I did." At this, Cartman directs his eyes toward the ground, trying to avoid Stan's death glares.

"Interesting…" Kenny continues. "Why'd you do it?"

"I don't know…I just felt like it."

I glance at Stan, a scowl present on his face. I can tell he's getting angrier at every response Cartman gives.

I hope this doesn't get out of control.

"Seriously, Cartman. What was going through your mind when it happened?"

"Uh…" I feel a pang of guilt for Cartman, who's clearly getting flustered at all these personal questions. He keeps his eyes focused on Kenny, refusing to acknowledge Stan…or me.

"I was bored, I guess."

"You were bored?"

"Well, yeah! I guess I just wanted something…different."

"You son of a bitch!" Stan suddenly shouts. "You decided to take advantage of Kyle because you were bored?"

"What? No!"

"Fucking liar!" Stan lurches forward toward Cartman, but Kenny quickly holds him back.

"Chill out, Stan."

"No! That asshole brainwashed my best friend into dating him!"

"We're not dating!" I try, but it goes unnoticed.

"I didn't brainwash him, hippie," Cartman huffs.

"I refuse to believe that," Stan seethes. "In fact, I refuse to believe you would do anything like this unless you had some ulterior motive. So what is it?"

"I don't have an ulterior motive. I'm seriously."

"God dammit, Cartman!" Stan tries to wrestle away from Kenny's grip in an attempt to beat the shit out of Cartman again, but Kenny keeps a tight hold on him. Kenny turns them both around so they're facing away from Cartman and me. I can see him whispering something in Stan's ear. Stan nods at whatever Kenny just said.

They turn around grinning and I suddenly feel queasy. Is this the beginning of an ambush? Fortunately (or maybe not so), they focus their attention back to Cartman.

I don't have time to react before Stan and Kenny jump on me, each grabbing an arm to keep me from getting away.

"AY! Get off me, assholes," I seethe, struggling to break free. But it's no use—they've got me from both sides.

I fucking hate these guys. Seriously.

"No, Cartman," Kenny says. "Look, I'm sorry we have to restrain you like this, but I figured it's the only way you'll answer our next question."

I huff. "And what's the next question?"

"How do you feel about Kyle?"

"What?"

"You heard me. You wouldn't be doing this if you didn't have a reason. Either you hate him or you feel something else for him…maybe love, maybe lust, or something in between—which is it?"

My eyes widen and I squirm, and immediately they both tighten their hold on me. What the fuck? I can't answer that. Wait, yes I can…

"I fucking hate that Jew!" I spit, casting my eyes venomously in Kyle's direction, who's eyeing me worriedly. He knows I'm lying.

Do they?

"So you are taking advantage of him?" Stan starts up again. "If you hate him, then clearly you're doing this to fuck with him."

"God dammit, I already told you that wasn't true!"

"Then what is the truth, Cartman?"

"Uh…the truth is…"

"Here, I'll make it easier for you," Kenny pipes up, his eyes turning to Kyle. "Kyle, step over here."

"Uh, okay," he replies, moving closer to the three of us. Kenny gestures for him to stand directly in front of me.

"So Cartman," Kenny says, "take a look at Kyle here and think about how he makes you feel…deep inside your black little heart, or whatever it is you have. Say whatever the first thing to come to mind is."

"That sounds pretty faggy to me."

"Just do it."

"Fine."

I take a deep breath, preparing myself for what I'm about to do. After several seconds, I move my eyes to stare an apprehensive Kyle in the face.

A few images flash through my mind at once, but the one that sticks out the most is the first time Kyle came over for tutoring, specifically those last few minutes before everything changed. I remember being so pissed off at him for trying to make me look like a dumbass and "teaching" me things I should already know. I didn't give a rat's ass about whatever he was trying to say. I just couldn't pay attention. I didn't want to pay attention…what was the point of paying attention to anything? It was always the same anyway.

Everything was so boring back then…but not anymore. Ever since that day, life's been a hell of a lot more interesting. Even going to school now isn't as shitty as it used to be. Even if it's a day where my only interaction with him is an argument about some retarded bullshit and he's pissed at me all day, I always look forward to it.

"He's the best part of my day," I blurt out.

Instantly, I feel my face growing hot, and Stan's looking at me like I crapped treasure again. Did I really just fucking say that?

"Really?" I hear Kyle say, but I ignore his response and immediately dart my eyes toward the ground, suddenly finding interest in a pebble lying on the ground in front of me.

"Yeah, really?" Stan says deadpan.

"So you like him?" Kenny asks with a hint of excitement in his voice. I bet that motherfucker's beaming, but I'm not gonna bother checking.

"I didn't say that."

"You might as well have. Come on, Cartman, just admit it. You like Kyle. He makes you all warm and fuzzy inside, if that's even possible with you. It's okay to prefer kosher-lots of people do."

I give an annoyed grunt in response, rolling my eyes. "This is stupid. Screw you guys, I'm going home."

I try jerking away from poor boy and the hippie again, but those assholes still have a tight grip on me. "Look Cartman, I didn't want to have to resort to this, but…" Kenny starts.

"But what? What're you guys about to do, Kenny?"

I notice Kenny give Stan a look, to which he nods. I swallow hard. I don't have a good feeling about this.

And that's when the fags started tickling me. I'm fucking serious. I feel their fingers grip my sides and I lose my shit. At first I think it's just incredibly lame, but then I realize they're not gonna stop and I'm starting to have trouble breathing. I don't like being tickled, God dammit!

"Fuck! Stop!" I manage to cough out between bouts of uncontrollable laughter.

"Not until you admit it, Cartman!"

"There's…nothing…to…admit!"

"Really? Even though Kyle's, and I quote, 'the best part of your day'?"

"Fuck…off…Kenny…" My patience is wearing thin, not that I had any to begin with. And my sides really fucking hurt now. I wish they'd cut this shit out. The second they're stupid enough to let go of me…they're fucking dead. I guarantee it.

"Cartman," Kenny looks me square in the eye. "Stop being a pussy and just tell the truth for goddamn once."

I can't take this anymore; I can't breathe…

"FINE, YOU'RE RIGHT! I like the fucking Jew, you happy?"

"How much would you say you like him? A little or a lot?"

"A lot!"

The tickling stops. Thank Christ. I don't bother to gauge anyone's reactions as I stumble backwards to sit on a log, catching my breath.

I can't believe I actually fucking said that.

I can't believe he actually fucking said that.

I never thought he'd admit to something like that. Especially to Stan and Kenny. I can't help but grin at this revelation as I make my way over to Cartman and sit next to him. He twitches as I start to speak, "You know, that took a lot of balls to admit."

"Yeah, well, it's not like I had any other choice," he grumbles, glaring angrily at Stan and Kenny.

"Well, I appreciate it all the same."

"Yeah, whatever. So are we done here?"

"Not yet. I kinda wanted to talk to you about something."

"What now? I've had enough goddamn talking."

"Then just listen."

He sighs. "Fine."

My stomach twists in knots. "Okay. Well, I…" I gulp. Wow, this is difficult. I glance at Stan and Kenny and that doesn't help anything.

"Spit it out, Jew!"

"Fuck you, fatass! Give me a second!"

I swear I notice Stan and Kenny rolling their eyes at us from the corner of my eye. Ignoring them, I scoot closer to Cartman and take a deep breath.

Here goes nothing.

"Cartman, you asshole…I like you too. A lot."

Cartman stares at me, not knowing what to say. I don't know what to say either. Where do we go from here?

"Took you guys long enough," Kenny says, shaking his head at us, breaking us out of the moment. At our lack of response, he continues. "Come on, it was so obvious. You guys have had crazy sexual tension for years now."

"Don't be ridiculous, Kenny," I reply, but I know he's probably not totally wrong.

Hesitantly, I look over to Stan, who's been pretty quiet for the past several minutes, his expression unreadable. How do I approach this with him?

I give him a small smile. He doesn't return it, but I wasn't really expecting him to. "Look, Stan," I start, "I'm really sorry about lying to you this whole time. I just…didn't know how to tell you."

After a minute, he sighs. "I'm not exactly thrilled about it…but I forgive you, dude. And I don't think I'll ever be able to fully get the concept of this," his eyes widen considerably as he gestures to Cartman and me, "but…Cartman does seem to actually care about you, so…whatever you do, I'll support you."

Immediately I propel up and crush my best friend in a bear hug. "Thanks, dude! That really means a lot."

"Don't mention it." Stepping back, he turns to Kenny. "Come on, dude. We'll give you guys a minute to, you know…talk and stuff," he finishes with a grimace.

Well, I guess it does take a little getting used to.

Stan and Kenny walk back to the car, leaving Cartman and me alone. I sit back down next to him, my heart thumping loudly in my chest.

"Look Jew," Cartman starts. "Before we go…I just wanted to say I'm sorry."

I raise an eyebrow. "For what?"

"For breaking my promise. I don't know how those assholes found us, but…"

"It's okay," I interrupt him. "They'll get over it." The corner of his mouth briefly curves upward in a small smile before we share an awkward moment of silence.

"So…was Kenny right?" he asks.

"About what exactly?"

"You know, when he said we were dating. Is that really what we've been doing the whole time?"

"Yeah…I guess so. We were just too chicken shit to admit it."

"Well, since the guys know about it now, do you think we can…?"

"What?"

"Can we keep going?"

I pause to ponder this for a moment, but I know my mind's already set. I take his hand in mine, intertwining our fingers for the first time ever, and give him my answer.

"I don't see why not."

He grins and so do I.

"Sweet."