Title: Snowscape

Author: SapphirexKat2

Rating: PG-13 Overall: R (I promise this time!)

Pairing: SatoshixDaisuke .

Warnings: Angst. Slightly AU; Spoilers. OoC on Krad's, maybe Satoshi's, Dai's and Dark's as well.

Disclaimer: I do not own DN Angel. pout

Summary: Satoshi wants to understand his obssession for Daisuke. Satoshi is at the hospital, trying to recover. He receives visits from Krad, Dark, and Daisuke.

Status: Incomplete series.

Chapter Three: More Recovery and Confusion

Satoshi felt so very tired, as if on the very last thread of life. He just wanted to sleep. Today wouldn't matter, nor would tomorrow, so who cared? He'd simply rest in this empty peace that he had sought after his whole life.

It didn't matter how much time had passed, or what the world was doing without him. Satoshi was ignorant in this endless landscape (and grateful for it!), sitting on a slope. What was this place anyway? Where did this image come from? The sky, Satoshi supposed it was, was gray. The ground was white with pure blue shadows. Where the light that caused was, he had no idea. It looked like a calm winter's day…

"How fitting," Satoshi mused bitterly, feeling the cool softness of the substance he sat on. It crunched like snow between his fingers, but it lacked all its iciness. He blinked, confused. "It isn't cold."

This scenery couldn't be from his mind. He'd imagine the blizzard in winters: harsh winds, biting ice, merciless temperatures below zero. "Perhaps this is the calm before it." He muttered thoughtfully.

"Or not."

Satoshi felt Krad standing beside him, white wings outstretched, blending in with the whiteness of the snow. The teen felt one wing shield his back, as if attempting to embrace him. Satoshi leaned back in acceptance. "What do you mean?" he asked, slightly confused.

"I put us here. It isn't a place with time or changing conditions. There will be no storms." His voice was thoughtful and pleasant. Satoshi found comfort in it.

"You created this place?" Was Krad even capable of such tranquility? Satoshi almost felt stupid asking his question. How else could he have come here?

Krad sat down beside him, his wing holding Satoshi more now that they were closer. Satoshi barely knew where his white clothing began and where Krad's wings ended. "Yes, but the idea isn't mine."

Satoshi looked back out to the vast landscape. "I thought as much," he replied. Krad shifted. "No offense."

"This isn't a Hikari's work, anyway."

The Commander arched a brow. "Then who's is it?" he asked, confused. Whoever created it had such a beautiful, but sad, inspiration.

Krad's eyes narrowed. "A Niwa." He sounded disapproving, which wasn't unexpected.

What Satoshi was confused with was why Krad would put them here. He didn't unwelcome it – quite the opposite, actually, but Krad would never go out of his way to make Satoshi so happy, nor would he accept anything from anyone else, especially from Niwa. "Then why is it here?" he asked, now gazing at Krad and searching his face.

"It isn't like I wanted you here," Krad replied defensively. "As if I'd let Niwa influence you."

Krad only managed to confuse Satoshi further."How did you come upon this image, then?"

"I told you. It came from that Niwa boy."

Satoshi's heart was caught between skipping a beat and pausing all together. "Did you?"

"No, I didn't harm him. It's not like you left me much to work with." Krad suddenly stopped his bitter speech, as if organizing his thoughts or… controlling his anger. Satoshi could feel the growing tension between them. He knew what the demon was going to lecture on his next. "You're such an idiot, you know that? You're a goddamn psycho."

Satoshi couldn't help but feel wretched. Usually, he didn't care what Krad thought. He was a psycho himself, a homicidal one at that! Who was he to talk? But Satoshi knew that both of them expected better of himself. He decided to wait until Krad was done venting before he would try to explain his motives (if he didn't already know them.). The wing around his shoulder tightened its hold.

"What the hell were you thinking? How dare you through your life away so easily!" Krad's fingers were digging into the snow where they lay beside him. His golden eyes were focused ahead, but Satoshi could still see from the side how they burned with disappointment and fury. If he weren't so fragile already, he guessed that Krad would have beaten him by now. The demon's next sentence was barely a whisper. "You scared me so damn much."

Satoshi glanced away to his lap, feeling even worse. If Krad had said what he just did on any other occasion Satoshi would just think that the demon was worried about having a "host", but he could sense that Krad was concerned about more than just having a body. He was worried about a part of him - his soul …

"I'm sorry," Satoshi whispered to both Krad and himself. Now that he thought about it, it was foolish of him. How could his depression have gotten such a strong hold over him that he'd put his health in jeopardy? He probably couldn't see it, now that the worst had arrived, but Satoshi knew that his reasons sounded legitimate when he first started wasting away.

Before either of them could say more, he felt his eyelids falling. He was still exhausted, and he just used up most of his energy conversing with Krad. The demon seemed to sense this because he wrapped his arm around Satoshi with more tenderness than they fathomed possible.

"Rest now, Satoshi-sama," Krad soothed, brushing blue hair through his fingers. "You will feel better when you wake up."

000

Faint voices argued in the background as the formerly unconscious teen began to wake up. He kept his lids closed, however, since he didn't feel like opening them just yet. Instead, he tried to ignore the empty pains in his body and hone in on the conversation happening around him.

"Are you saying that I was neglecting him?" Satoshi recognized that voice to be his foster father's. He wasn't sure for a moment because of the distress implied in its tones. He had never heard Hiwatari-san to be so worried. How long has it been since he'd been out?

"It's just strange for him to live by himself," explained a female, possibly Satoshi's doctor. "Especially at his age. He needs parental support. He may be a Police Commander –"

"Satoshi is very intelligent, Hana-san. I doubt that he ever needed me as a father. Something else has gotten to him. Perhaps it's the case on Dark Mousy. I have been pressuring him. Maybe a break would be good…"

An agony unrelated to Satoshi's lack of physical health tore through his chest. The last thing he needed was to be ripped away from Niwa through the only special connection that they had. If only he could voice this… He didn't care who knew. He needed that Phantom Thief Case. His ancestry explained enough of that already.

A soft sigh. "It's really late, Hiwatari-san, and our arguing is getting us no where. I understand that you are also weary. Go home. You've been here for days."

There was the quiet shuffle of feet, a cool touch to his forehead, and the closing of the door. Satoshi shifted slightly in his half-consciousness. It would still be a little while before he could actually function properly. At least he was slightly aware of himself.

'Krad?' he called out tentatively, opening his eyes. He saw the large open window to his left. The blinds were drawn back, and the light of the full moon streamed in. Satoshi couldn't tell if there were stars out. He looked around the room again.

.-. I'm here. .-. came the quiet reply. It was enough.

A silent shadow suddenly blocked the light of the moon, forming a bizarre figure on Satoshi's blanket. He looked to the window and saw a dark figure with large wings deftly working the lock on the glass panes. The blue haired teen immediately felt the skipping in his chest when it was suddenly undone, and the wings disappeared into a white creature. Dark caught Satoshi's gaze and winked with a smirk. He silently opened the window and slyly crawled through the small gap, locking it just as well once he was inside.

"There's a door, you know," Satoshi managed to say through his dry throat. He sounded sarcastic like he always did around Dark, but he wasn't fooling anyone. His pride refused to let him admit his weakness. He just wanted to appear strong in front of the Thief.

"What's the fun in that?" Dark asked, turning and gazing at Satoshi kindly. "Besides, no one's allowed in at this time."

Satoshi felt so awkward looking up at Dark from his position. He wanted to sit up. He looked too vulnerable lying down. "I'm sure you can charm your way in," he said wryly, moving to sit up. His muscles felt slightly strained, but he dismissed the feeling.

Dark must have noticed the shaking arms pushing the blue haired teen up because he was right beside him in the next moment, supporting his back. Satoshi wanted to both flinch away and lean into the touch, to snap at him and thank him all the same. Instead, he let himself be helped silently, conflicting emotions blending into resigned appreciation.

"Easy there… Doesn't this thing have controls or anything?"

Satoshi felt Dark's warm breath ghost over his neck as the violet head bent to search for the said buttons to adjust the bed. He shivered and closed his eyes, trying to keep his control in check.

"Ah. Found it." Dark leaned back and held the remote in his hands, squinting through the dimness of the room enough to read the symbols. He tentatively pressed a button and the top half of the bed inched upwards. His hands released the device once he was done and set aside. Satoshi was now comfortably leaning back at a fifty-degree angle.

"Thanks."

Dark grinned. "No problem, Commander, sir." His voice was mocking, but the sense of sincerity was there. He reached over to the end of Satoshi's bed and grabbed the cushioned stool, dragging it to his spot beside the bedridden teen. "I see you're awake now."

"Yeah," was all Satoshi could say. Did Dark know what that implied? Feeling very awkward, Satoshi was the first to look away, instead gazing at the IV bag above him to his right. Each drop of life sustaining fluid fell into the tube leading to his arm. Satoshi had the urge to rip it out. Why was Dark in the same room as he was, not taunting him, but… supporting him? Hadn't he suffered enough? Somehow, Dark's condescending remarks stung less than his offer of pity.

"Why are you here, Kaitou?" Satoshi voiced out softly but firmly, his tone hinting that he required an answer. He was vaguely aware of the fact that Niwa had been there through various times of his life: when he was angry, disappointed, determined, content, strong, weak, in agony… nearly broken, but not dead yet. He was more than a dark angel, but a shadow to the Hikari light. Satoshi knew that no matter what happened, Dark could never be gotten rid of, for the light couldn't engulf its shadow. He was sure that his family knew that, though, perhaps by around his age hundreds of years ago. Why they didn't pass down the knowledge, he could only guess.

"Why not?" came the casual reply. Satoshi wished he could see Dark's expression, but he didn't want to turn around, for he'd reveal his own expression. At this vulnerable moment, he knew that the thief would be able to read into every detail of his face.

The Commander felt like retorting to his company, telling him that he couldn't answer a question with a question, but he thought better of it. If Dark didn't want to give him a straight answer, than when it came for his turn to be questioned, he'd do the same thing.

.-. You're being childish.-. Krad said blatantly, as if the statement was accompanied with a roll of his eyes.

"Why so?" Satoshi turned to him then, if only to flash a weak smirk in the thief's direction. Dark just obliged him with a smile.

"Don't be so negative on things, Hiwatari. Life is too short for that." You should know. That implication hung thickly in the air. Satoshi did know that already, but he couldn't help it. Whenever something good came along in his life, he had to question it. Why did it come to him? What was the price? He already knew what he'd have to give up in exchange for Niwa's presence.

Satoshi scoffed as he came back to himself. "Thanks for the little insight," he said sardonically.

Dark scowled. "I mean it." The thief was never a person you'd think would get angry at all, if not frustrated or disappointed. Satoshi was slightly taken aback. "You've had your games before, but this is different. You're dealing with reality, and you'll get no second chances."

"What are you talking about?" For some odd reason Dark seemed to make no sense. What wasn't a game? When were there no gambles or risks? Life was a game with various stages to Satoshi, and he'd never choose a stage to lose.

Dark gave him a bitter smile. "Think of a Hikari to be completely clueless, especially about this." He was suddenly ticked off because he stood abruptly, preparing to leave. He turned his back and began working to open the window he had entered from. "Get better soon and come to me when you aren't such a crazy bastard."

Stung, the blue haired teen barely had enough time to retort before the black figure was gone out gap, leaving the panes open on purpose. Satoshi shivered as the draft came in and ghosted over his sensitive skin. Why did Dark's words hurt so much?

.-. It is because they're true.-. came a solemn reply. Krad was never known for being mellow, either. He was the one overreacting, casting insults or death threats. It was almost as if the light and darkness had switched roles for the moment.

000

Satoshi woke up the next day, slowly coming to himself (he had righted the bed that night to lie back at 180). He lied there for a while until his doctor came in. They spoke heavily, mostly about Satoshi's failing nutrition. She knew that his body was naturally vulnerable because he was anemic, but when she asked about any emotional or psychological influences, he just dismissed them, saying that he was often times apathetic. Nothing could affect him really, except one, but he didn't tell her that.

"Apathy isn't necessarily a good thing, either," Hana-san replied softly, almost sadly. "You'll begin to neglect your own feelings as well. You won't even know what the basic human emotions are anymore."

If only people understood Satoshi's spiritual and genetic makeup. He didn't have the luxury of emotions – that's just who he was! Sure, he sometimes chose to push things away, but it was because he was inclined to do it in fear of releasing the demon within, and then he'd forever be a slave to his emotions until he died, or until it could be returned.

"I will always know what fear is," he replied passively, his blank azure eyes staring into surprised, almost horrified brown ones.

000

Satoshi had a recovery plan and a fixed diet for each meal. For several more days he stayed in the hospital, doing work, sleeping, or just staring out the window. The latter particularly happened at night, as if he was waiting for something that he knew wouldn't come, but he looked for it just the same. He only noticed the 'Get Well' cards on the table by his side, most of them from girls and even the Police Force. Just to humor Krad (who kept bugging him to either read them or throw them away) and not be rude, he opened each letter to scan over.

Hiwatari-san came in whenever he could, of course, but not as often as he did before(which Satoshi thanked every god for). There were awkward attempts at 'bonding' from the senior's part, but Satoshi remained unyielding mostly for his part. It was only after several failures that Hiwatari decided to bring up work (since it seemed like Satoshi's favorite subject).

"Dark hasn't been stealing for the past two weeks," the older man said, slightly disappointed. "Some speculate that he's doing it to throw us off, or he's simply not interested anymore, which is simply impossible. What do you think?" he asked after Satoshi's long lapse into silence.

The teen was currently glancing over that day's paper, reading over the currents events so that he could stay updated. He's been feeling better as he slowly felt the strength returning to his limbs. Maybe all the attention he was receiving expedited his recovery, or maybe it was the food, or maybe it was that one who had complete power over his entire being. Perhaps Satoshi was only cooperating so that he could take up that invitation.

"I think…he's waiting," he replied simply. "He can't steal a Hikari artwork without a Hikari guarding it."

Hiwatari-san looked thoughtful for a second. "Is that so?"

Satoshi only nodded slightly. It was mostly true, for he didn't think that Dark would want to steal something so easily. He wasn't like that. It couldn't possibly be that Dark lost interest all together.

000

What would Satoshi be doing on a regular Saturday evening? Depending on whether or not he had to deal with the Phaton Thief, he'd either be at the police station, at a museum, or at home. Satoshi felt absolutely helpless as he sat on his bed and read 1984 by George Orwell (this was his fourth time). Even thought the classic novel was interesting, his thoughts couldn't help but wander outside the plot of the book. Reading was an attempt to distract himself, but it wasn't working very well.

A soft knock came to his door. Satoshi didn't look up, assuming that it might be his father.

"Can I come in?"

Satoshi felt his heart stutter for a second before he glanced up. "Niwa. Of course," he replied more casually than he felt. Daisuke flashed him a small smile before shuffling in .

"How are you?" The redhead found the stool on Satoshi's right and pulled it closer before sitting down. Satoshi briefly remembered Dark sitting just the way he did a couple of nights ago.

"Better." He saw Daisuke flush a little, probably from catching his meaning. Didn't Daisuke know not to ask that question if he wasn't prepared for the truth? The redhead always made him feel better no matter what, but Satoshi often wondered how Daisuke took it. Satoshi had expressed a similar statement before, and all he received was nervous, uncomfortable laughter. He didn't receive that now.

"That's good." The smaller teen bit his lip, as if he was at an indecision with himself. He remained silent for a while, probably thinking better of himself. Satoshi wondered what was on his mind.

"I'll be able to leave tomorrow," he said, closing his book and setting it aside. "Doctors said that I'll be fine." Any more of his "episode", however, would cause him serious medical problems later. He only hoped that he could control himself. He was inclined to be a sadomasochist; it was just in his blood like that.

Daisuke nodded, smiling cutely like he always did. "That's good." He glanced around the room and noticed Satoshi's little pile of goodies. "You've been missed by many," he added softly. "School isn't the same, you know?"

Satoshi arched a brow. He was never an active member in class activities unless he was voted on unanimously by the class, or he absolutely had to do it. He turned and looked at the crowded stand beside him. "I suppose," he replied dully, not really concerned with many of the senders. "I don't even know who they're from."

"I'm sure you can recall at least someone that you know."

Satoshi gazed at Daisuke, who was still focused on the letters and gifts. "But no one special," he added meaningfully.

The redhead quickly glanced at him before shifting his attention to the window, his expression almost guilty.

"Why did you come here, Niwa? I don't understand."

From his spot, Satoshi could see that the small teen was thoughtful, or perhaps talking to Dark. In either case he grew anxious with each second that passed. Why, he wasn't sure.

"I wanted to apologize," Daisuke said at last, turning and looking straight into azure eyes. "Dark… had no right to say those things."

Might as well get everything out into the open. "Of course he did," Satoshi replied, unfazed and honest. "It's true. Do you even know what he meant by that?"

Daisuke shook his head slowly. "He won't tell me. I had the feeling… that he wanted to talk to you first. Do you know what it's about?"

For the first time Satoshi found himself glancing away first, averting his gaze to his blanketed lap and wiry hands. "I have an idea," he replied softly.

000

Satoshi found Krad and himself back in the snowscape again. It was the same eternal day of winter, the same blue shadows, the same white flakes of snow, the same gray clouds above. The Commander stood this time, getting better height to look out into the horizon where the sky met snow. He almost saw a tinge of gold, as if there was a sun somewhere, hidden.

Cool arms slipped around Satoshi's waist and the soft touch of wings fluttered over his arms. Satoshi shivered slightly. They were colder than their surroundings.

"Like a ray of hope, hm?" Krad seemed to whisper mockingly into his ear. "No, not for us."

Satoshi grew bitter at Krad's negative perspective. "What are you talking about?"

The blonde chuckled before releasing Satoshi. "Nothing. Nevermind."

Satoshi was sure that it wasn't there before. Did whatever Krad say have any meaning, or was he talking nonsense again? He wanted to know what exactly this place was, what that golden lining was, and why he'd been finding himself there every time he fell asleep.

To be continued...

Uwaa! Another long chapter. Man, I was kinda stuck, but then everything flowed smoothly afterwards. I hope it wasn't too confusing. Everything will be revealed soon. this won't be a long story.

I know! I'm such a sadist. hahaha. I apologize for the last chapter, since everyone hated to see Krad and Satoshi suffer. But look! They're better now! Well... sorta.

Thank you very much for your reviews and support. I really appreciate them.

SapphirexKat