Author: MegTDJ
Category: Missing/tag scene
Rating: PG
Pairing: slight McKay/Weir hintage
Spoilers: Suspicion
Summary: Tag scene for Suspicion; Rodney comes home injured, and it sparks a conversation that's rather uncomfortable for him.
Disclaimer: Stargate Atlantis, its universe and its characters are not mine. The story itself is, however, so please don't archive without my permission.
Author's notes: I've been in a sort of writer's slump the past couple of weeks, after being on a roll for so long, so this fic was sort of writer's therapy for me. For that reason, it might not be the best thing I've ever written, but it served its purpose and got me writing again. Yay!
Part of the idea is thanks to mikasteelelell's challenge, when she asked the question: Just how bad did Rodney get hit from the blast (in Suspicion, after he said it was fun for him)? Was anything broken? How much physical pain was he hiding? Thanks, hun! :)
This fic is most definitely a prequel to the McKay/Weir fics I've already written - The Right Call, The Wake, and The Changed One, so read it with that in mind.
Confirmation
"Back again, Rodney? What's wrong? Did you miss me?"
Rodney winced as Lt. Ford and Major Sheppard helped him hobble over to one of the infirmary beds. "Yes, that's exactly it, Carson," he said, his tone dripping with even more sarcasm than usual. "I so enjoy your large needles and charming bedside manner."
Carson didn't seem overly impressed. "What happened this time?" he asked.
"He got hit with shrapnel from an exploding Wraith," Sheppard was all too happy to answer.
"Exploding?"
"Yes, exploding," Rodney said, moving his hand in an impatient gesture. "Can we get on with this, please?"
"Fine," Carson said with a sigh. He turned to Ford and Sheppard, and Rodney could swear they were all trying not to laugh. "Leave him to me," he said. "I'll have him right as rain in no time."
"Right. See you later, McKay," Ford said, waving as he started for the door.
Rodney gave him a vague nod in return, feeling a bit insulted by his rush to leave. Then he turned to Sheppard, expecting him to gladly follow.
"I think I'll stick around," Sheppard said, much to Rodney's surprise. "Just for curiosity's sake."
Rodney shot him a suspicious look. "Curiosity?"
"I'm just wondering what kind of damage an exploding Wraith can do to a person."
"Thank you so much for your concern," Rodney muttered.
"Alright, let's get a look at this then," Carson said a little too cheerfully as he got Rodney to lie down on his stomach and started cutting the lower leg of his pants away from his charred calf. "Looks pretty nasty," he commented.
"Yeah, I can kinda feel that."
"Ew... God, what a mess," Sheppard said as he leaned in for a closer look.
"Do you guys have to keep up a running commentary?" Rodney asked in exasperation.
"No," the two men said in unison. "But it's fun," Sheppard added.
"Looks like there's some metal in here," Carson said after poking and prodding and causing all manner of excruciating pain. "I'm surprised you were able to walk on this, Rodney. It's in pretty deep."
"Yeah, well, never let it be said that I'm a wimp," Rodney said through gritted teeth as he tried not to scream in pain.
"That's pretty impressive, Rodney," Sheppard said, sounding almost proud. "And you didn't even fa... pass out."
Rodney didn't deem that comment worthy of a response, so he just lay there in silent agony while Carson did more poking and prodding. After a minute or so, however, he finally couldn't stand it anymore. "Are you almost done?" he snapped.
"Hold still," Carson instructed him. "I've barely gotten started."
"Great." He sighed and squeezed his eyes shut tight as another stabbing pain shot through his leg. He almost missed the numbness.
"Okay, Rodney, this is gonna hurt," Carson's still-too-cheerful voice spoke up a moment later.
"What, and it hasn't been hurting before now?"
"Brace yourself..."
Suddenly, Rodney's leg felt like it was on fire. There was really no better way to describe it. He stifled a scream and gripped the mattress so hard that the pain in his hands took some of the emphasis away from his leg. "What the hell was that?" he cried once he could speak again.
"I had to cleanse the wound," Carson said. "Now comes the fun part."
"Oh God..." Rodney groaned.
"Best keep him talking," he heard Carson mutter. "Keep his mind off it a bit."
"Right." Sheppard moved into Rodney's line of site then and drew a stool over to perch himself on. "So, Rodney," he said, obviously at a loss what to say. "Here's a question for ya... why were you so gung ho about going on this mission? You know, that whole, 'I'm a part of this team, I'm doing this,' thing, and the jokes on the planet about how it was fun for you. I mean, I would have thought you..."
Rodney glared at him as his voice trailed off. "You would have thought I'd have chickened out?" he challenged.
"Well... I wasn't going to say that..."
"Hey, how's our patient?"
Rodney tried to crane his neck around to look towards the doorway at the sound of Elizabeth's voice, but Carson chose that moment to send another shooting pain through Rodney's entire body. A stream of profanity naturally followed.
"Not well, I gather?"
"Very funny," Rodney muttered as he panted for breath.
"Ahh, here it is," Carson announced in triumph. "Want to see it, Rodney?"
"Not particularly."
"Ah, come on, McKay," Sheppard said, tapping him on the shoulder. "This thing's huge. You should get it mounted or something."
"Am I free to go yet? Cause I'm getting really sick of this whole conversation."
"Almost," Carson said, finally sounding the slightest bit sympathetic. "I've just got to stitch you back up again."
"I just hope that was all that was in there," Sheppard said quietly.
Rodney groaned. This just wasn't his day.
"Okay, well... it seems my work here is done," Sheppard announced after a moment of uncomfortable silence. "See you later, Rodney."
Rodney lifted one hand in a half-hearted wave before he heard Sheppard walk away. He fully expected Elizabeth to follow suit, but she came over and claimed Sheppard's abandoned stool instead.
"So?"
Rodney narrowed his eyes at her. "So what?"
"You never did answer Major Sheppard's question."
"What question?"
"He asked you why you were so gung ho about going on this mission."
Rodney rolled his eyes and sighed. "What were you doing, eavesdropping?"
"I was entering the room, Rodney. Now why won't you answer the question?"
"All done now," Carson said with a rattle of instruments and a pat to his completed handiwork. "I'll have to give you a shot just in case, though. I'll be right back."
Rodney felt oddly thankful as he heard Carson bustle away. He sat up slowly and dangled his legs over the side of the bed, looking down at his hands in order to avoid making eye contact with the woman sitting across from him.
"Well?"
He huffed a laugh. "Why does it even matter?" he asked, honestly not understanding what the big deal was.
"Because I have a pretty good idea already, I'd just like to hear it coming from you," she said.
"Oh." That wasn't the answer he'd expected to hear, that's for sure. 'Well, at least it's only Elizabeth who'll be hearing this...' he thought. He took a deep breath. "Okay... if you must know, I wanted to do this because I'm a part of Major Sheppard's team, and there's no way in hell I'll put up with being pandered to just because I'm the 'civilian scientist' who can't take care of himself."
He chanced a look up at Elizabeth then, and saw that she was looking down at her hands with a thoughtful expression on her face. "Is this anything to do with the whole 'fainting' thing?" she asked. She looked up and him and then added, "That was all just a joke, Rodney. Good-natured teasing. No one here thinks you're a coward."
"I never said they did," he said somewhat defensively. "I just... get the feeling that some people are waiting to see me falter. Waiting for me to balk at doing something dangerous so that they can say, 'See? I told you all brainiacs are... wimps...'" His voice trailed off as a sudden flashback flooded his mind with sounds and images over twenty years old. Suddenly it all made sense.
"Rodney? Rodney, are you alright?"
He shook himself back to the present when Elizabeth's concerned voice broke through his jumbled thoughts. He looked at her in confusion for a moment as his mind started to clear.
"What is it?"
"I just..." He stopped himself mid-sentence. He couldn't tell her that. Or could he?
"Just what?" she asked, resting her hand on his knee as she looked anxiously into his eyes.
He cleared his throat nervously and just let the words come. "When I was a kid," he began, "I used to get beat up a lot at school." He laughed ironically. "Surprising, isn't it?"
Elizabeth just blinked at him.
Rodney nodded. "When I'd get home with a fat lip or a black eye, my father would get all angry with me about it. That's rich, eh? I'm the one who got pounded just for breathing, yet I would be the one in trouble at the end of the day. He would always say to me, 'Be a man, Roddy. Stop acting like a wimpy brainiac and stand up for yourself.'"
Elizabeth smiled a soft, sympathetic smile. "Roddy?"
Rodney's eyes widened in horror as he realized what he'd done. "Oh God, don't. Please," he begged. He'd hated that name all through his childhood and adolescence. The last thing he needed was for folks here on Atlantis to start using it.
"Don't worry, I won't," she assured him. "When I was a kid, I got 'Dizzy Lizzie.'"
Rodney grinned. "You win."
"Thank you," she said with a laugh. "But please... go on."
Rodney stared in wonder at his rapt audience. No one had ever listened to him quite so eagerly before. Well, except maybe his therapist, but he'd been paying him by the hour. "I guess... I guess I, uh... I just wanted to, you know..."
"Prove yourself."
He nodded slowly. "I guess you could put it that way."
"Rodney, do you think I'd have brought you to Atlantis if I didn't think you could handle whatever was thrown at us out here?"
He was puzzled by this question. He knew exactly why she had brought him to Atlantis - aside from Samantha Carter, he was the foremost expert on the Stargate and any and all related scientific fields. She needed his brains for this mission, not his bravery. "I... I suppose not?" he said, his uncertainty creeping into his voice.
"Do you think I would have allowed you to join Major Sheppard's team if I thought you would balk at doing something dangerous?" she asked. "Or for that matter, did you think Major Sheppard would have chosen you for his team if he thought that?"
She sort of had a point there. "No, you wouldn't."
"Exactly. No one is expecting any less from you than what you are capable of giving. We all know you better by now than to think you'll 'chicken out' over things like this. You don't have to play the hero."
"I wasn't aware that I was."
"Look, I'm just saying..." She paused and sighed. "I'm just saying that you did good today, and I'm ninety-nine percent sure that each one of your teammates would say the same thing. I think the only person who doubted you even for a second was yourself."
He stared at her in speechless surprise for what seemed like hours, not daring to believe what he was hearing. She looked and sounded completely sincere, but his mind was telling him that she was just like every other woman he'd ever met - sweet and kind on the outside, but really just a walking rejection waiting to happen.
Yet when she'd had every opportunity to drop him from her program like a hot potato, she had instead sought him out as a friend, wheedling her way through his defenses and somehow managing to peek through them at the man inside. Now here she was complimenting him and trying to make him feel better about himself. What kind of an angel-in-disguise was she, anyway?
"Here we are," Carson's singsong voice broke the silence. "Sorry for the wait."
"Not a problem," Elizabeth said, turning cheerful in an instant. "Here comes the man with the needle, Rodney."
"I'm shaking in fear," Rodney quipped, holding out his arm for the jab.
"Ah-ah, not there," Carson said with a wave of his needle.
It took Rodney a second to catch on, but when he finally did, he let out a soft moan. "Oh no."
"Okay, I'm outta here," Elizabeth declared, hopping off of the stool and practically jogging over to the door. "We can continue our conversation later, Rodney."
"No need," he called after her. "Thank you, Elizabeth."
She turned at the door and smiled. "You're welcome." She wiggled her fingers in a sweet little wave, and then left the infirmary.
Rodney barely even felt the jab in his butt when it came. His thoughts were full of Elizabeth, and all of the things she had said to him.
"I think the only person who doubted you even for a second was yourself."
Maybe she was right about that. If she was, it was for the last time. No more trying to prove himself. He belonged here, and he belonged on Major Sheppard's team. For the first time in his life, he belonged.
He resolved never to let anything make him doubt that again.