A Forbidden Touch
Her hand automatically went to her cheek as she rested her tired head upon it. Her head surveyed the room for what seemed like the hundredth time that day, and as usual, nothing was different. She could hear the rain still falling outside, or was that due to her imagination? When ever he was away it made the days and nights seem longer. Also include that the thin walls around her allowed her to see everyone that passed through the halls that day. Everyone seemed to have a spot and something to do. She didn't. She was bored and the whole of the castle knew it. She stood up and lifted the hem of her pink kimono. She needed fresh air, air to clear her thoughts. There were so many of them. However with the rain, she was still unsure of if it was even still raining, in play she couldn't take her walk around the gardens like she normally would whenever she was plagued with dark thoughts. As she traveled from her spot on the step of the throne she smiled. Perhaps the imaginary rain would provide more comfort then she had originally thought. Slowly she made her way to the door of the tiny room and reached to slide it open, however they opened without her touch. She squinted her eyes as the light changed and shone through. Obscuring her way was an elderly old man. Her kind smile returned.
"My Lady Izayoi, there you are, the whole castle has been looking for you," the elderly man smiled. He watched her try to think of an excuse as to why she had been neglectful of her duties while her husband was away.
"I'm sorry…" Izayoi's violet eyes closed. Truth be told she didn't really care. Let them worry, she thought. This castle didn't seem to understand the need of privacy, because they kept depriving her of it. Sometimes she would sneak away to be alone, only to be found a few hours later. "I needed to be alone for a little while." She opened her eyes.
"We understand my Lady," In his mind, he knew that she was lying. He felt that she needed to act more of a ruler and not to run away when things had begun to grow tough. He closed his eyes and shook his head. "I came to tell you that we have prepared lunch for you."
"Honestly Kenji, I'm not feeling all that hungry, I'm going to out to the veranda, please, I wish to be alone," Izayoi brushed past him, and sighed. This castle was going to be the death of her. She brought a hand to her face and pushed her long bangs from her bored and tired eyes.
It had been a few hours since Izayoi had left the throne room and surprisingly her request was granted. No one bothered her and she was free to think as she pleased. No more questions about what to do over the land, how to run it and what decisions needed to be made. She sighed, how does Takemaru do this? All of his advisors had been coming to her since Takemaru left, with plans and advice to give her; they were all suffocating her. She, obviously, wasn't very good at ruling a kingdom. To be honest, she wasn't a very good wife either. When she first met Takemaru, she was madly in love, but once they married, she soon found herself beginning to lose interest him. She felt detached from him somehow, like her heart was only half there, the other half, waiting to be found. Whatever that meant, Izayoi had no idea. She only guessed that when the time came she would find out. No use worrying about something that she may not be able to change.
Izayoi watched the falling rain from the heavens above and watched as it slipped from the petals of her hydrangea and their leaves. The lotus' pedals and leaves in the pond not far from where she sat and the ripple affect of each droplet that fell. Closing her eyes she tried to imagine herself when Takemaru returned. Sighing, she couldn't picture herself happy or relieved, nothing of the sort. A sort of blank feeling, why did she have to feel this way? She was supposed to be happy, she was the Princess of the North and she married her prince. Still, she couldn't get over that empty feeling in her. Empty. And even sometimes Izayoi felt lonely. She wished that Takemaru would return, maybe he would satisfy her solitude. Izayoi smiled. Not likely. She laughed.
"My Lady? My Lady?" a gentle shake woke Izayoi from her light slumber and her deep violet eyes focused at the surroundings. Glancing up, Izayoi saw a young girl with a round face, her cinnamon eyes were almond shaped and drooped slightly at the top. Her nose was slender and rather short, like it seemed to be out of place on her pale face. Her jet-black hair was in a simple knot and wisps fell out of the knot. She smiled slightly and bowed. When she finished, she backed away slightly.
"Yes…I'm sorry Cho…" Izayoi stood and bowed lightly. This made the young girl blush and Izayoi smiled. True, Cho may only be a maid to her level, but Izayoi respected them all, even if Takemaru forbad her. He didn't understand. He never would.
"My Lady, I have received a message from my Lord, your husband," Cho pulled out a scroll and handed to Izayoi, who took it from the young girl's hands. Unrolling it slowly, she briefly skimmed it. Then reread it, only to make she had read it right. A smiled grazed Izayoi's lips.
"My Lady? It is good news?" Cho inquired, her eyes shone a bit and she rested her hands behind her.
"Yes Cho, it is."
"How pleased you must be My Lady." Cho bowed deeply
"Yes I suppose that is the word, yes." Izayoi thought about it.
"What of the news?"
"It is, please, when you return to the castle, tell Kenji that my husband will return tomorrow, he is leaving early from battle," Izayoi rolled up the scroll and tucked it in her kimono.
"Yes My Lady," Cho turned around and left. She walked at a fast pace, like she was glad to be out of her presence, for fear perhaps she would mess up in front of the Lady of the castle.
She stared at the walls. Thin. Casting silhouettes as guards moved around outside. They were changing shifts. She knew this because of the time she had spent laying there. Sometimes next to Takemaru and sometimes by herself. So many restless nights she spent awake. Tossing and turning. Tonight was one of those nights. Izayoi couldn't bring herself to feel sleepy, maybe because Takemaru was returning home from early battle. The war in the south had grown perilous, that was what he told her; the last time she had seen him, two months ago. Izayoi decided that she could no longer stay in bed, so she sat up. She dangled her feet over the edge and slowly touched the bare, cold wooden floor. Walking to her door and opening it slowly, Izayoi checked each corridor. She saw the fading light of a torch, telling her that the guard that patrolled the corridors had just passed her room. Slipping out and sticking close to the walls, she slid quietly down the hall. Good thing her gardens weren't too far away from her. When Izayoi did get a chance to sleep, she thought it had to be the gardens, though she was never sure why. Coming to the garden doors, Izayoi looked behind her to see the light returning.
Feeling her heart rate come up she quickly opened the door and walked out, forgetting any type of shoe. Lightly sliding it shut, it Izayoi took a deep breath and walked down the stone steps and felt the cool wet grass meet her feet. She sighed. So peaceful… Izayoi walked among her gardens, lightly brushing her fingers over the hydrangea petals and causing the diamond water a top to drip off. Stopping and looking up and the full moon Izayoi smiled. Lunar light shone onto her face and she welcomed the celestial light. The moon goddess seemed to be happy tonight. Twirling a bit and looking at the moon she stopped. Squinting her eyes she tried to look harder. Widening her eyes at what she saw, it looked like an enormous silver…dog, possibly a wolf? Its beauty spellbound her. Sliver fur swayed as it was running and then it stopped. She gasped a bit as it seemed to come closer to her and she swore it looked right into her eyes. Was this a demon? But it was so beautiful; such beauty couldn't belong to a demon. A sudden sound startled her and she looked behind her. It sounded like amour clanking together. But there was nothing there. Readjusting her gaze to the moon, she was disappointed to find the demon gone.
"I've found her! Over here!"
Izayoi turned around and saw one of the guards come running towards her. She sighed. Here we go again. She looked back to the moon. A little disappointed, after all when the demon, if that what it was, looked at her, she felt her heart beating faster. She wondered if she would ever see it again.