A/N: "SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!" gives in to my wild screaming fans.
STILL LAUGHING
It was eight 'o clock. Harry took a deep breath and went through the door to the dungeon classroom. Head down and bracing for the embarrassment ahead Harry pushed open Professor Snape's office door and paused in the doorway.
Snape looked up from the papers he was reading with a smirk. "Our golden Boy-Who-Lived-To-Be-A-Salacious-And-Lewd-Imbecile has arrived."
Harry flushed red from his neck up to his forehead and looked down at the floor. 'Don't rise to it. Don't rise to it!' "Good evening sir."
"Sit. So how are you this evening Mr. Potter?"
Harry looked up shocked. "Well…umm…I'm okay?"
"No, no. I meant your mood. Are you now overbearing and obnoxious or lascivious and lustful?" the smirk turned into a disgusted sneer.
Harry bristled. "That was…we were just playing a game!" Harry changed his tone as Snape's face darkened. "We just made up jokes…for a laugh. Sir."
"Well the first half of your joke seemed dead on. You certainly could rival a horsefly with your intelligence." Snape snorted and pointed to a corner of his office. "You will clean out all those old vials of dragon pus without maiming yourself using your pea-like wisdom and then cut up those shrivel figs and finish up by sorting all the ingredients for tomorrow's Potions class." He paused looking at Harry's angry face. "Get to work Oh depraved and wanton one."
Harry opened his mouth as Snape's eyebrow arched and caught himself just in time. He could take this. He'd been ribbed before. Taunts were just words.
Harry was cleaning his twentieth vial when a low voice came across the room.
"Just what were you and your minion up to Potter?"
Harry fumbled the vial for a moment before looking across the room at Snape who was watching him with narrowed eyes. "We were having a joke."
"Making up ridiculing comments about yourselves?" Snape's tone was incredulous.
"Yes."
"That was your idea of a joke?"
"Pretty much. Some of them were quite worthy of…" Harry's almost-smile died and he went back to cleaning picking up another vial to scrub.
"Hmm. And what did you little friends say about themselves?" Harry considered Snape's tone and it sounded curious without being taunting so Harry answered.
"Ron said he was an overbearing simpleton with a brain the size of Egyptian beetle eyes." Harry turned at the low snort from Snape. "Dean said he was a flaming iridescent bugger. Seamus said he was a cocky sensual twat, which he said you must stress on the coc...." Harry flushed and kept his head down scrubbing the vial he was holding harder. "Umm…Lavender was a air-headed bimbo with the attention span of a hummingbird. Parvati was a self-centered superficial dimwit. Neville…" Harry frowned at the low sound of laughter, turning and caught Snape contorting his face into impassiveness.
"Yes? Longbottom?" Harry thought he was rather too eager.
"I think I won't say." Harry sniffed.
"Okay. Then why do you think yourself a…bawdy whore?" a smirk snuck back over the pale face.
Harry blushed. "I don't…I-I…thought…I mean I don't think of myself like that. I just wrote it 'cuz it…was funny." His voice trailed off.
"You're gay."
Harry gaped and barely managed to hold onto the vial in his hand. "H-how…" he stopped voice almost pained.
"Well…I perceived that miserable old codgers only come in the male gender." Snape's voice was dry and slightly amused. "And about that…I think you've already debased yourself if you want…our esteemed Headmaster…no offense, fine man I'm sure he is." Snape sneered."Don't worry though I don't think anyone will mind their savior's…preference in…sexuality. Except his fan clubs of course. You'll see an increase in your male following."
"I can't believe you think I mean Dumbledore…" Harry's voice trailed off in wonder.
"Well who else could you mean?" Snape's eyebrow arched. "There are not many other males of option as I assume you meant no one of your age. In fact apart from Dumbledore there are few…male professors…"
Harry made a squeak in his throat and thought quickly. "When I said old I didn't mean old literally I meant older…as in older than me…not necessary old as in…professor-aged older…"
"Ah…" Black eyes shifted from him. "Enough blathering. You have tasks to finish."
"Harry! We all had to stay up! Did he know the game was about him??" Seamus bounced on the Gryffindor couch where all his friends were waiting.
"Thank God he didn't…I almost said the comments were worthy of him…"
Ron was staring at Harry. "I still can't believe you wrote that about yourself…"
Harry flushed and flopped into an armchair quickly grabbing a nearby book to bury his nose in. "It was just a joke Ron."
"It was hilarious! It would have been even better with Snape reading it in his properly insulting voice." Dean snorted. "Wanton…depraved…Harry!" he burst out laughing.
Hermione was looking on the proceedings with a reproachful face. "I can't believe you took part in this Harry. It serves you right that Snape walked in on you."
Harry looked at Hermione shocked.
"Not…about him reading it to embarrass you. But you really shouldn't have…"
"It would have been funny if Harry had actually got to read it his turn. He does a great Snape impression. Mr. Potter…" Seamus tried to act all tyrannical and tall while on his knees on the couch and fell over as Dean smacked him across the head.
"…he…" Harry blushed furiously and looked down at his feet. "He realized I'm gay?"
There was resounding quiet. Then…
"Oh…great! Now all he has to do is realize he's the only one with the vocabulary of a dictionary, considering the words we were using, then you're about doomed Harry. If I didn't know better I'd almost think that joke was purposely suggestive." Ron snapped.
"Yea Harry…he'll think you like him." Hermione leaned around Harry's book.
"'Mione! Get out of my face!" Harry moved the book up to block her thankful his previous blush hadn't worn off so they wouldn't know a fresh one had come on.
Seamus stumbled up from the floor. "Well…so what. The worst he could do is go spreading it to the…" he cringed. "Ouh. That is bad."
"Yea that's all I need. The Slytherins going around talking about how I'm straight as a squiggly straw."
Hermione sniffed, lips quirking.
"Did Ron tell you he has a brain the size of a beetle eye and he's an incompetent simpleton?" Harry said slyly to Hermione.
She burst out laughing. Ron looked affronted. "Gee…don't laugh your heart out Hermione."
Harry shook his head with a small smile. "I'm going to bed. My hands are tired and…I have a wonderful day tomorrow to look forward to." Harry said sarcastically.
"Who knows Harry. Maybe he won't tell them?" Dean pulled Seamus down on the couch next to him.
"Yea. And maybe Neville will get his potion right tomorrow, Dumbeldore will dance a jig at lunch tomorrow and Snape will smile." Harry rolled his eyes and went up to the dormitory as Seamus again tried his 'Snape' impression and fell over.
A/N: Grins evilly.