This is just a funny fic... I don't really know how it will end up... it DOES NOT tie in with any of my other fics. I also know it doesn't really fit in with Ginny's character...but she's the girl we know least about and ... yeah. It was inspired by Louise Rennison's Georgia Nicholson series, Planet Janet by Dyan Sheldon and the Very Secret Diaries by Cassandra Claire.

Many of the names are from Shakespeare. XD. I have no imagination. And yes, I did make up a lot of people for the sake of this story. And yes, I re-used the name Marie Labelle because she's my character. XD

Each chapter will be about 15 days/2 weeks/half a month long. Approximately. LOL. I just need a definite-ish division. LOL

(I edited it. Ginny is now in 6th year. LOL. It works better for a story I'm planning to write. XD)

Read/Review/Enjoy!

Chapter 1

Monday September 3

7:15 AM, Dormitory

Another year back at Hogwarts. Woe is me. Broke up with Dean Thomas over the summer. Finally. Wish I hadn't, though. He's looking v. fit now, he must have been on working out or something.

Anyway, so where was I? Oh yes, I'm back at Hogwarts. Again. In this dormitory. Again. With these same four other people. Again. Stupid rich, pretty, smart (although not as smart as Hermione), Italian Portia. Slutty, stupid Marie Labelle. And Mellie, my buddy and advisor, although she is a bit dim. Also, there's Diana, always preaching about virginity and no sex and everything; I ignore her. Thank God I only have one more year (actually two since this year hasn't officially started yet.) in this prison. Hermione is next door; she's nice, but she obviously has the hots for Harry; thank God I gave up on him. Stupid git.

Thank God again I'm not a prefect (He must be on my side); of course, Portia is our Gryffindor Female Sixth-Year prefect. I'm not surprised, nor angry; I honestly don't care.

But I don't mind Portia. She lends me money. Then she forgets, so I don't have to pay her back.

8:32 PM, Common Room

So much homework. WE'VE ONLY BEEN HERE TWENTY-FOUR HOURS! V. annoying. At least Peeves was making a racket during Potions. We couldn't work, as he'd blown up a couple of cauldrons and half the class had to go to the hospital wing. Not me, though. Good thing, too. Rumour has it Janette's eyebrows won't grow back. Ever. Poor girl. I never liked her, anyway.

Tuesday September 4

8:11 AM, Breakfast

Harry's the new Gryffindor Quidditch captain. He's back on the team, now Umbridge is gone and Fudge believes Dumbledore. Now it's just Harry, Ron and me on the team. Dear lord...I'm a chaser, though, since Harry's seeker. Maybe I'll be a seeker when he leaves. Assuming I don't DIE before then. It's so dangerous here.

I don't think Harry's as fanatical as he'd complained Wood was. Thank goodness.

6:33 PM, Corridor

Stupid Malfoy being stupid. He cursed Ron, and there was a bit of a kerfuffle, and Ron ended up with green hair and Malfoy was unable to stand because of a jelly-legs hex. It was quite funny, I have to say. If he weren't a Malfoy, I'd say he looks kind of hot this year. Shut up, shut up!

Curse these normal diaries. Hermione gave it to me; she said she her mum got it for her but she didn't want it. It's muggle, so at least I know it's not posessed with You-Know-Who. But if I write anything discrimiating (or do I mean incriminating? Both, I guess.) in here, it's open for the world to see.

Wednesday September 5

7:20 PM, dormitory

Curse this diary again. Hermione found it. She was about to read it. I nearly had to hex her to get it away. I've had it for less than a week. What would have happened if I write something REALLY incriminating? Honestly. I think I'm going to have to disilliusion you, my dear diary.

Saturday September 8

6:58 AM, dormitory

I disillusioned you. I forgot that when I disillusion things I often can't find them. Took THREE DAYS for me to find you, dear diary. Strong enough spell? Nothing eventful happened, though, so it's not such a tragedy. Anyway...quidditch practice soon... why the hell does Harry want us on the pitch in this ungodly hour of the morning?

8:12 AM, Hospital Wing

I nearly killed myself at quidditch practice because of that stupid Harry and stupid Malfoy. No one except me and Mellie know that I have a weakness for boys in quidditch uniforms. I've gotten used to them though, being on the team, but I was sort of shocked when I saw Harry wearing his uniform this year. Really shocking, he's really good-looking... You could have knocked me over with a crisp wrapper. Anyway... so I was flying, being chaser-ish, and I saw Harry and I wobbled a bit, but I was OK, but I kept looking at him but I didn't want him to know I was looking...I could not get enough of him. I was innocently chasing the quaffle like I was supposed to, when the Slytherins decided to make an appearance.

I didn't know I had a weakness for men in leather trousers. Draco came into the stands with his ugly friends. I sort of saw him but didn't really notice what he was wearing. Then, he started dancing on the stands. He was actually impersonating Harry riding a broom, but it looked more like he was doing the hokey-pokey. Immature little twit. I made the mistake of looking at him. And, from what I saw, he has got a v. shapely buttocks. I felt like I had been hit in the stomach with a bludger, which would have been impossible, because it was hitting my shoulder at the time.

I kind of fell but managed to hold on and fly back down to the ground. Needless to say, the bloke who was trying out for beater will NOT make the team.

I'm here now and Madam Pomfrey is tutting angrily, muttering on about injuries here and how quidditch should be banned. Shut up, stupid woman!

9:02 PM, Common room

People have been feeling bad for me all day because I shattered my shoulder. It doesn't hurt at all and Madam Pomfrey mended it before you could say "leather trousers" but I was getting attention and someone even brought me chocolates. I should break bones more often.

Sunday September 9

1:09 PM, Dormitory

Hermione came in. She was acting v. depressed because Harry doesn't notice her.

I said, full of wisdomosity, "He's a boy. Boys are stupid. Therefore, he is stupid."

"Harry's not stupid!" Hermione cried.

"Not stupid," I agreed, "but he is a boy. Boys don't take hints."

"Why not?" she asked.

I looked at her. "What's wrong with you? I thought you were brilliant!"

She looked flustered. "I am-I'm not-whatever-but why?" she whined.

"Stop talking," I commanded, "I don't want to talk about this. He's Harry. You're going to have to do something drastic to get his attention." I thought my tone was final.

"Like what?" asked Hermione.

I groaned. "I don't know. A love potion. Or show him your bongos."

She looked at me agog. "What?" she shrieked.

"Love potion," I repeated, "it's not that complicated, if mum could make one. Remember, she was telling us about that time she made one?"

"No...the second thing." she looked at me slyly.

"I was kidding."

"What was it?" she persisted.

"I said, 'show him your bongos.'" I rolled my eyes. WHY DOES SHE CARE? Surely...she's not THAT desperate?

"Hmm..." she said.

"Don't say 'hmm'! Why are you 'hmm'ing?"

"Just thinking..." she said. She looked down, as if realizing she had boobs for the first time. If I hadn't accidentally walked in on her changing one day (a day I'd still like to forget...), I'd never think she had boobs either. But she has a body many girls (i.e. me) would be envious of; no wonder Harry's never noticed her. She always wears bulky sweaters and sweatpants. I, on the other hand, are what some would call, petite. I'm so skinny and I have no boobs or bum, and my legs and arms are really stickish.

"I was kidding. Don't do it." I said again.

Hermione didn't say anything, but smiled slyly and left.

Wednesday September 12

8:41 PM, dormitory

Thank God Malfoy didn't show up again at practice. And Thank God that he wasn't wearing leather trousers. We have a team now, if you can call it that. The beaters are rather dim (not unlike Fred and George; it must go hand in hand: stupidity and being a beater) and the other two chasers are pretty good, but not very fast. I hope I can get a new broomstick...like that'll ever happen. Anyway...early to bed, early to rise. I am frightfully tired, and I really must get my beauty sleep.

Friday September 14

After Quidditch Practice

I spend more time playing quidditch than I do on my hair; I never thought that would EVER happen. Well, it has. . I was wrong about Harry not being a fanatic. Malfoy came this time, but not wearing his leather pants. He was actually quiet this time, studying the team intently. It's become sort of a tradition that the quidditch captains come and watch other teams' practices. Honestly... he looks perfect. Er... I mean.. perfectly stupid... I hope. I mean... oh God. I heard him talking in the corridor to someone...his voice. It's so cold and drawly, but...I like the sound. Oh God. Did I just admit that? Oh God. I'm not falling for him, am I? AM I? I hope not. I really don't want to have to commit suicide... although it would be easier that way than if Mum found out how I felt.

Anyway, I DO NOT LIKE DRACO MALFOY. NO MALFOY NO MALFOY NO MALFOY! But the sound of his voice... SHUT UP! SHUT UP!

More notes:

V. very

The discriminating/incriminating is a mistake that my friend Erin often makes... too funny to pass up.

The Draco in leather trousers has been done in many-a-fanfictions, but I read it first in the Draco trilogy by Cassandra Claire. I imagine he would be quite hot in them. Anyway...I didn't invent it. LOL

v. shapely buttocks is sort of a play on an inside joke. It's supposed to be legs... but whatever. I'll work that in later.

Bongosboobs. My friend Andrea uses it, I don't know where she got it LOL. I didn't want to use nunga-nungas because I felt like it would have been copying XD