Disclaimer- I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh.
For the longest time, I felt as though some part of me was missing. I thought it was friends once, friends that I have now, friends named Joey and Tristan and Ryou and Tea.
I was wrong.
I thought it was love, the love that I had lacked of a parent and child. But I had grandpa, and that love was as strong as the love between any father and son.
I was wrong.
I thought it was love, the love one has for the most precious being in the world to them. I found that in Tea, even if it held itself silent for the years of my youth.
I was wrong.
But one day, one blessed and cursed day, one day that changed my life and brought me sorrow and happiness, grief and joy, despair and hope.
The day I finished the Millennium Puzzle, the day I met Darkness.
At first, he existed without my awareness, a shadow in the light, a flicker in my mind. But soon I learned of my shadow, the Darkness that lived within and yet without me.
When we merged for the first time, I felt it. I felt... complete. I'm sure Darkness did too.
I didn't realize, of course, why I felt complete when I had Darkness in my soul for the first time. The signs were all there of course, from his name, Yami, Darkness, to his name for me, Hikari, Light. We were polar opposites at first, I was meek, you were proud, I was kind, you were ruthless, I was shy, you were confident.
Tea said she noticed it while we were dueling, that Yami and I were like two sides of a coin.
The bitter truth of that statement, what she did not realize at the time, haunts me. Yami and I are two sides of a coin, and together, we make a coin. You cannot have a one-sided coin, that just is not possible.
That's what we are, aren't we, Yami? Impossibilities. We are Yin and Yang, we make each other complete in a way that no one has ever dreamed of before, that has never been possible. You are the other half of my soul, not in the way that a husband and wife would say it for love, but you are literally my other half, the other part of my soul.
Shadi said I was fated for the puzzle. I know that's wrong. The puzzle came to me, we met out of necessity, because neither one of us is supposed to exist.
Pure Light cannot exist, not without Pure Darkness living alongside it.
Light and Dark. That is what we are. As long as we remain apart, I was incomplete because I was untainted, too pure for the world. You were incomplete because you were far too tainted, too impure, too ruthless for the world. Together, we became a true soul, a real person.
How is that? Wouldn't someone love to be a completely good person? Wouldn't others rather become a completely heartless person?
It doesn't work that way. Real souls aren't Light or Dark. They're both, they're Light and Dark mixed into the essence of a person. Some have more Light than others, but everyone has both Light and Dark within them. Having both evil and good, Dark and Light in you is what makes a person human.
Everyone has Light and Dark sides, but in us, it is far more apparent and obvious. You are my dark side, I am your light side. Your ruthlessness and desire for victory was tempered by my kindness and humility.
Without you, I am a light that is easily extinguished, I would go back to being bullied because I won't fight back, I would begin losing duels because I am too shy, too hesitant.
Without me, you would be as you were when you were first released, insane and power hungry, a desire for vengeance and justice aided by ruthlessness and cruelty. You would spiral back into the being you once were, the Pharaoh who took part in devastating his own kingdom.
When you call me partner, you know it's more than that, really. We are two parts of a whole, two pieces of a puzzle. Our half souls make each other complete, tempering each other's virtues with the other's virtues. That's the true reason why we merge in a duel, isn't it Yami? You could duel without me and probably win, but you would be summon the Shadow Games and battle ruthlessly and without respect, just as Kaiba would. And if I dueled, I would be nervous and without confidence, indecisive at moments when decisive action was needed.
We need it each other in a way that no one could ever really understand, even if we tried to explain. It goes beyond partnership, friendship, beyond love, beyond any word any tounge of any people has ever devised. It is the most basic need, the need to be complete.
When we merge, we are complete. When we do not merge, we are still slightly connected, and thus, we are able to live.
But, unknown to all of our friends, dueling is so much more to us than a game, than a battle, than a means to save the world. It is the only place either of us can really feel alive, feel that we are really human. It is a rush of intoxication that is unlike anything anyone else has ever experienced.
It is Joy, it is Freedom, it is the feeling of Life itself.
In battle we are free, we become just like anyone else.
Funny, isn't it? The one thing that sets us apart from anyone else, our dueling talents, is what makes us just like everyone else.
But that is the truth. If we are apart, not merged, our souls cry out to become one once more, a feeling of sundering and separation and utter loneliness when we first separate.
It is an addiction. The addiction to being alive.
They can never know, can they Yami that we are addicted to dueling, to life? That if we are apart neither of us is a real person, just an empty shell, half of a person?
The others would find that strange, wouldn't they? That Yami, the confident, slightly cocky and nearly unbeatable Yami could possibly need Yugi, the meek and shy one? But they never saw you as you truly are, before you tamed, before you settled and our connection stabilized you. But they did know me, know how meek and shy and without confidence I was without our connection to stabilize me and make me stronger.
You let your true self show once before in front of the other's, didn't you Yami? You showed them how ruthless you were when you almost killed Kaiba. But Tea's tears and the slight fear in the other's eyes mellowed you, allowing me to retake control. But I couldn't stop you when you used the Orichalcos, could I? Darkness grew back into what it once was, and there was no Light to shield the world from his wrath. You lost, and it proved something to you, didn't it? It proved that without my influence, you were nothing but Darkness.
I've dueled with you before, dueled and found myself lacking the skills you provide.
We're symbioses you and I. That's what we are, and more. Not only do we depend on each other for survival, we need each other to survive.
I think I hate you a little Yami, sometimes. I think I feel a resentment that burns in my heart that you tainted me. But I know it had to be done. I'd have probably been killed because of how I am, because I am Light, and purity simply cannot exist.
Do you resent me, Yami? Do you resent the fact that your ruthless, heartless demeanor has been broken and tamed, that you cannot use your Shadow powers the way you could in the days of old? Does that make you feel angry at being stripped of power and control? Does your blood boil at the thought of being forced to need me?
Or have you already accepted your fate, as I have? Because we both know that our fates, our souls are intertwined for the purpose of saving the other from themselves, underneath the prophecies and the saving the world deal. Were you sent here to help me? Was I allowed to solve the Millennium Puzzle because you needed me?
Or was it both?
Yes, perhaps that is the best answer. It was both these reasons why Dark and Light were brought together into one body for the purpose of balancing the other, to save the other from their own self.
Without my light, you would cease to be a man, and become a monster, a warrior without a purpose. But without your taint, I would cease to be a man, and just become a light unguarded, something precious unprotected.
Without the other, neither of us would be human, neither of us would have a true soul.
AN: Thanks for reading and please review!