Hiya everyone :o) This story is pretty much just a random parody of the Teen Titans poking fun at the characters, the show and other things. :o) So keep in mind, it's pretty random and don't take anything offensively or anything. It's all in good fun. :o)
I'm gonna make more chapters when I find time. And to those reading Detention or I'd Do Anything, sorry for taking so long to update, I'm still working on it so don't worry :o)
Disclaimer: Don't own it, just make fun of it. :oP
Mary-Sue. (not my lover, just some girl, who says that I am the one, The kid is not my son--- whoops, oh that Michael Jackson. :oP )
It was a perfectly quiet and normal day in Titans Tower. Raven was reading because she never has anything better to do and always seems to have her nose stuck in a book. She really is a funny gi-iirrl that Belle! Er… um… I mean Raven.
Cyborg and Beastboy were both glued to the couch, intently playing Gamestation and continuing to argue about Tofu and Meat while doing so.
Starfire and Robin were sitting in awkward sexual tension because Robin was once again suffering from severe emotional constipation and refused to discuss his feelings aloud. While Starfire continued to be innocently naïve and sexy at the same time by asking cute little questions such as the purpose for the M button on her calculator. What was it for? And why would anyone use it?
Then quite suddenly and randomly!
The door swished open and in walked the most beautiful and over developed teenage girl they had ever seen.
She was wearing a revealing yet conservative sexy skintight uniform and looked as though she had flown down from heaven. Her hair was long and flowing and shiny, blowing sexily in non- existent wind. She had a perfect complexion and a sculpted hourglass body.
"Hello Teen Titans," The girl announced gracefully, her feminine voice dripping with perfection. "I am here to help defend the greater good and I wish to join your team." She announced randomly.
Robin nodded, not surprised at all by her sudden random entrance or how she managed to get past their insane security systems. Those were just minor details.
"Huddle!" He announced, and after a few moments the Titans had found out how to form a perfect circle.
"Okay guys, whaddya think?"
"Well, she would make a good addition to the team," Cyborg pointed, because that was what Cyborg said.
"She's hot! Let her join!" Beastboy drooled. Robin nodded in agreement. Starfire and Raven then proceeded to rage in mindless jealousy.
"I agree! Mainly because all of you of the male gender are completely unaware of our mindless seething jealousy and anger of this ludicrous decision and clearly have no desire to consult us 'lesser' members of the team because you all think solely with the appendage covered by your tight spandex pants." Starfire chirped gleefully, her random burst of jealousy gone in the burst of logic.
"What she said." Was all Raven had to say.
"Hey, maybe it's a good idea to find out what the hot chick can do," BB suggested. "And her name… I bet she has a sexy name…"
. The group collectively pondered
"Yeah. Sure. Okay"
Breaking their huddle they turned to the stunningly attractive girl, whose shining sun-kissed, glimmering hair shone and continued to blow in non- existent wind. Her beautiful eyes shone brilliant colors and angels came down to sing of her perfection. Finally the angelic apparitions departed and Robin stepped forward.
"Okay hot super lady, what can you do?" He questioned gently with uncharacteristic emotion.
BB melted into a puddle of goo with an exclamation that she was "Sooo aawwweeesommeee…"
And Cyborg pointed with awe, "She would be a good addition to the team!" Even though the aforesaid, 'hot super lady' had yet to say anything about her powers.
"Why friendly Titans," She said, her voice tinkling like the chiming of silver angelic bells. "My powers are as follows," She flipped her perfect hair in slow motion before continuing.
"I have super strength and agility. I can produce unbreakable force fields, turn invisible, control water of course, shoot fire and ice balls. I know karate and various forms of jujitsu and tae kwon do and have X-ray heat vision. I can also teleport, read minds…"
A few hours later…"I can also stretch my body like rubber, take on another shape and fly too… how could I forget that one," She laughed good naturedly, and all the Titans did as well because she was just so witty and funny. "I also have super intelligence …"
Even more hours later…"And to conclude, I can understand members of the opposite sex and I also have very good grammar and am flawless in everyway." She concluded with another beautiful feminine laugh and beautiful smile showing her perfect, strait, sparkling white teeth that belonged in an Orbit gum commercial because they were just Fabulous.
"Hmm… I don't know…" Robin mused, despite the fact he had been drooling over her mere hours ago.
"I also can smash empty beer cans on my forehead and can un-wrap a Starburst in my mouth in a very sexy way."
"She's in! Er… I mean, Titans huddle!" Robin announced in his leader voice.
"Okay guys, despite the fact she is highly random and suspicious and practically invincible, I can't help but think with my pants on this one and let her join." He turned to Starfire whom was bawling uncontrollably. "I'm sorry Starfire, but her rack is clearly larger and she has useful and amusing party tricks. So despite my feelings for you that have run through the entire time I've known you I'm afraid this love is much stronger… I hope you understand."
"That is okay friend Robin," Starfire announced, no longer bawling. "I shall proceed to play the part of jealous, raging wee-atch, is the term I believe, and proceed to make the angelic new member look more perfect in my obvious imperfection."
"Glad to hear it," Robin announced.
"I'll continue to show my distrust and animosity toward her yet at the same time secretly marvel at her perfection," Raven announced.
"After the huddle I'm gonna duel Robin in a full on chick fight to win the hot chicks affections," BB announced. Robin nodded calmly hand on his chin.
"And I still think that she'd make a good addition to the team."
"Did we cover it all?" Robin questioned. Everyone pondered before responding with various words of agreement.
The Titan's broke the huddle.
"Oh joyous new friend—" Starfire began, before biting her lip, "That is, I mean to say, you are an odious, conniving gremplork! And your distasteful ways irk me to no end!"
"Welcome to the team!" All the boys announced gleefully, pushing each other trying to give her the famed, Teen Titans communinicatior.
"You're not part of this team and you never will be!" Raven exclaimed angrily just to make the newcomer look to be the innocent receiver of her wily, raging and unpredictable emotions.
After a few moments of silence…
"So… do you have a name?" Beastboy questioned.
"Yes," The hot super lady replied breathlessly, because her voice sounded so much sexier that way, "It is, Mary- Sue," She announced dramatically with a flip of her shining tendrils (which is a fancy more eloquent word for hair. Why did I not just say hair you ask? Because Mary-Sue deserves the best damnit!).
The male Titans seemed let down. Mary-Sue noticed because she was just so darn observant.
"What?" She questioned.
"Nothing," Robin responded, "Just kind of a let down is all… I was expecting something slightly more…exotic. You know, like Elizabeth or Jennifer…"
"Yes well…" Mary- Sue huffed.
"Or something ridiculously long and difficult to spell. Or something French!" Beastboy added.
"Yes… something along the lines of… 'Conniving, atrocious, sickening, too perfect to be real, fake, odious, revolting, distasteful, grempork, evil zarbnarfian, man thief,'" Star added with a sweet innocent smile.
"Or that," Beastboy consented.
"Are you sure that's not just the jealousy talking," Robin commented waggling his brows.
Star slapped him and Robin flew into the wall on the other side of the room.
"OW!!!"
It was silent.
"I expected you to feel that way Starfire," Mary-Sue sighed, "After all, after my kind and loving parents died when I was three and when I was sold into the bonds of slavery. I expected to be treated this way."
"I mean, ever since I was physically, mentally, sexually, and spiritually abused by slave-owners and my evil uncles and other various relativesI knew this world was destined to hate me. After all my painful childhood experiences of watching three of my best friends get terminal illnesses and die in my arms, and watching every single loving person in my life get killed off right after I met them. And Count Olaf always trying to steal my family fortune... Okay, maybe not that but still..."
"Dear God..." Robin announced.
"Don't worry, I'm okay now," Mary-Sue chirped cheerfully, "I was able to quickly forget my horrible, horrible past, and am quite cheery and flirty, but if I ever need to make a dramatic scene I can always call back on my horrible memories." Mary-Sue grinned.
"I feel like I'm watching some tearjerking chick flick... terminal illnesses, abuse, best friends dying... all we need is Bette Midler and we're all set..." Beastboy commented.
"Well... your life sure sucks..." Raven commented dryly.
Mary-Sue sniffed.
"Yes I know..."
It was silent for a moment.
"Oh dear! Acute, perfect and flawless- in -every –way, senses tingling!" The random, perfect chick announced in a breathless and sexy way. Groaning while holding her head.
"What is it?!"
"It's Slade!" She announced dramatically, with a flip of her shining hair.
"Uhh… didn't we, you know, kill him?"
"Fool! You do not argue with the plot holes! He is alive and seeks revenge! For you see, I am his long lost sisters niece! I thwarted his evil plans and he has been searching for me ever since!"
"Gasp!" Everyone exclaimed.
"Don't worry, super hot related to Slade chick," Robin announced hand on her shoulder, he had somehow recovered quickly from Star's slap, "We will stop him! And I will protect you at all costs" Starfire let out a small sob. Robin then proceeded to go for a passionate kiss.
"No! Robin, I—" She started, turning away from the masked hero with tears in her eyes, "We can't, for you see, I am your long lost sister!" She exclaimed, desperately.
"Damnit!" Robin growled, "I hate it when this happens! I knew there was a striking resemblance between us!"
"Ha! Now I get to make out with your hot sister!" BB gloated.
"Well, Star, looks like I'm desperately in love with you again." Robin shrugged. "Wanna make out?"
"Though I should decline and annihilate you into oblivion for being such an atrocious, a-hole, I believe is the Earth term…I shall instead play the role of the typical fan fiction woman and take you back without second thought because I cannot live a single day without you!"
"Oh Star," The two proceed to make out.
"Wait what about Slade?" BB announced.
"Well… he would make a good addition to the team…" Cyborg responded, BB nodded in somber agreement.
OOOThat's all the randomness for now folks. Hope you enjoyed! :o)
Ree—view, dood le doo, Ree-view :o)