Resolution

For last year's words belong to last year's language
And next year's words await another voice.
And to make an end is to make a beginning.
T.S. Eliot, "Little Gidding"

The staff meetings were always held in the faculty room. It was suitable with its large space and two round tables, it could accommodate all the teachers if need be. Severus was at the head going over the activities leading up to Christmas break. He appeared to be as unenthusiastic as usual and Hermoine wondered why he had ever accepted the Head position. Why for that matter he had even stayed at Hogwarts, supposedly he despised children, and disliked his colleagues. Once the final battle was over last winter Hermoine assumed he would probably just disappear, lose himself in the multitudes, finally absolved of the debt he owed Dumbledore. She and Harry had speculated over his allegiance until very close to the end, but there could be no denying it, Severus was loyal, if he had not stepped in between Dumbledore and Voldemort, locked in a battle of wills, Albus would have perished, already exhausted from years of holding everything together

Severus must have sensed Hermoine's inattention and exploited the situation by assigning her the task of organizing an alumni Christmas party. She only realized when he said, " Miss Granger", for the second time and she responded with a, "yes" that her "yes" had deposited her as chief organizer of the alumni Christmas party.

"Professor Dumbledore has requested this event as a way to bow out formally from his position. It is true that the students and their parents are aware the new situation is permanent but, as he has said, many of 'our' old friends must be told personally." Hermoine snorted softly at Snape's very careful use of the words 'our friends'. He was despising every moment of Albus' idea and Hermoine knew full well he was trying to dump the preparations off on someone else. She stared up at him when he finished speaking and they locked eyes for an instant, her former doubts of his loyalty flushed her with embarrassment and in this moment she accepted the proffered task without a fuss.

"Professor Dumbledore will be very grateful for your help Miss Granger. He has suggested that we meet in his office after dinner this evening to prepare a guest list."

Hermoine nodded her approval, realizing that Albus probably knew Severus would choose her to plan the event.

After dinner she proceeded to the tower that held the headmaster's office. Curious thing, she thought, that Albus kept his stately office, even though for all intense and purposes Professor Snape was acting Head. I wonder if he will relinquish this place once everyone knows that he is stepping down formally, she was musing over where he would live when someone behind her said, " Good and Plenty."

She turned to find Snape staring straight ahead, "I neglected to give you the new password at the meeting…you have been kept waiting…"

Was he apologizing?

The massive stone statue moved to reveal the winding staircase and Hermoine turned to catch the first step.

"Miss Granger, a moment."

She stepped back and they had missed their chance and would have to invoke the password again.

"Miss Granger…I have a request."

Hermoine smiled, "Do you mean in addition to planning the alumni party?" It's true she hadn't made a fuss but she wanted him to realize it would be a stressful time for her, leading up to Christmas, what with all her potions classes and aiding Madame Pomfrey with supplies for the infirmary.

Snape's eyes lowered for a moment in some kind of recognition. "I would like this party…this grand exit…if you will…" Hermoine could see Snape was disapproving of the idea… "To be handled with some gentility." Snape spoke softly and Hermoine could not read his expression, it seemed to impart both worry and questioning.

"Gentility…sir?"

"You must realize Miss Granger, that Albus is not well. Professor McGonagall and I have covered for him as best we could but he is slipping away from us." Hermoine had never seen or heard such tender words from her former Potions Professor.

"But surely something can be done. A potion…perhaps ginger root and …"

"It has all been tried Miss Granger…" he shook his head slowly, rebuffing her hopefulness. " You have never seen a wizard die of old age Miss Granger, you have no elders of our kind. It is this way at the end, the energy seeps away, the memories and dreams become the reality, and then there is sleep."

Hermoine's eyes stung with her attempt to keep them open, for she knew tears would be released if she blinked.

" I don't want people at the party to realize his decline. I want them to believe he is retiring to a blissful life of relaxation."

Hermoine slowly nodded in agreement. She wasn't sure why Snape felt this way but he had never really asked anything of her before and she felt she owed him something for destroying Voldemort and saving Harry.

"I will do my best to distract the guests and keep Albus' decline from discovery."

"I thank you for this." Snape straightened and spoke forcefully to the statue… "Good and Plenty!"

Hermoine lied in her bed thinking of all the tasks that needed to be completed before Christmas. Tests, grading, a trip to Hogsmeade for shopping, replenishing the pepper up potion, the invitations for the alumni dance and now after meeting with Albus, an alumni Quidditch match before the party was scheduled as well. She wouldn't be happy until she had it all written out in blocks of time. Her old study habits had been useful to her now as a teacher, time was always short and self- discipline was crucial.

Snape's actions had been very strange that evening. He was so concerned about Albus' decline and yet Professor Dumbledore seemed quite lucid at the meeting. He looked tired but his wit and manners still sparked in conversation. Did Snape think everyone would feel sorry for him, or even worse mock him? No, it couldn't be, but then again she had to remember the person she was dealing with, Snape was very distrustful and often times a paranoid person, and years of spying had no doubt exacerbated these original character flaws. She would have to proceed with caution, accommodating both her friends desire to visit with and pay tribute to Albus' career and Snape's irrational fear of Albus being exposed somehow, with these worries Hermoine fell into a light sleep.

Potions Class was a mix of facts, intuition and focus, some students excelled in one area or another but few excelled at all three. Terry Watts was a beacon in a sea of, Hermoine hated the expression, but snorted to herself for admitting its truth, ' dunderheads'. How could so many students get the same things wrong each year? Terry, on the other hand was brilliant, he had already started OWL level potions work in his second year. Snape had spotted him in his first year and began giving him extra credit assignments. Hermoine was a bit put out when she first heard this but she realized he couldn't have played favorites with a Gryffindor at that time, with the final battle looming so close. Terry had the advantage of being a Slytherin and so Snape was allowed to indulge. When Albus had sent for Hermoine to take over the potions position Snape had informed her of Mr. Watt's passion for potions. Hermoine had continued the extra credit and had now begun to allow Terry to assist her in helping Poppy stock the infirmary. He never made potions alone but she did allow him to bottle label and prep all the ingredients alone.

It was late Tuesday afternoon and Terry was in her lab preparing the ingredients for the pepper up potion Hermoine was going to brew, hopefully the last batch until the New Year.

"Terry, are you going home for the holidays?"

"No ma'am I'm staying over this year." He sounded resolved.

The deadness of his voice reminded Hermoine of how impertinent her question had been, of course he'd be staying over, his mother and father had both been indicted as Voldemort supporters and been sentenced to 10 years in Azkaban prison. There were many Slytherins in the same position and Severus had saw to it that most of the children were allowed to remain at Hogwarts, either through scholarship or through a fund that McGonagall and he had set up after the war. Terry was one of many of these 'temporary orphans', waiting for their parents to serve their time in jail.

"Have you heard that we are to have an alumni Christmas ball after the other students leave? Albus has agreed that the students who remain over the Christmas break may attend the ball as well as the alumni Quidditch match." Hermoine tried to brighten the boy's mood with other thoughts.

"Perhaps we will get to see our Head of House in action then?" Terry looked up with a mischievous grin.

"How so?" Hermoine asked.

"You do know that he was a Quidditch player?"

Hermoine's eyes widened, but she quickly caught herself from gaping. "No, I didn't?"

"Yes, and legend has it in Slytherin house, is that he was brilliant."

"Really…I knew he refereed on occasion but I had no idea he took that much of an interest in sports."

Terry looked thoughtful, his dark hair swept to the side and his lanky body still over the butcher block where he had been interrupted from slicing ingredients.

"If this can wait a moment," he gestured to the ingredients. " I want to show you something." His eyes were alight with anticipation and Hermoine very much wanted to indulge, it wasn't often that he seemed excited.

She stole a command from her former Potions Master and said, "Proceed" He was gone in a flash and left Hermoine wondering what he could be fetching to show her, it was seldom that Terry offered any extra sentences to their conversations and this sudden enthusiasm was very entertaining and not less than a bit curious.

Within 5 minutes he was back with a thick book tucked under his arm. He placed it on the table and Hermoine could see it was a photo album. Terry flipped through to the back. There in the center was a photo of Severus Snape 'keeper' for Slytherin House. He looked much different, his hair a bit longer, tied back with a black cord, thinner but his facial features softer. Hermoine could barely believe her eyes. In the photo Snape had just defended the goal and was raising his arms with his teammates in a show of pride.

"Terry, I'm finding this hard to believe."

"Oh it's true Professor Granger. He only played for one year but Slytherin took the House cup."

"But if he was so good why did he quit?" Hermoine was fixed on the picture and hadn't heard someone enter the lab.

"Because he was smart enough to realize that there is more to life than sports…as well as idle gossip…Professor Granger!" Snape had entered silently and now stood behind Terry and Hermoine.

"Sir…we didn't hear you come in…" Hermoine tried to regain her composure.

"Indeed" Snape was not happy and his raised voice made his shoulders shake.

"It's just a bit of History sir." Terry shrugged and looked over his shoulder at Snape. Hermoine was surprised Terry would take such liberties with Snape, she was curious to see his reaction, for she knew in her day it would have been 50 points at least.

"Mr. Watts, not all History is valuable to us, some is just time being filled." Hermoine noted that his tone had quieted when he spoke to the boy. " I suggest you put that ancient history back where you found it and concentrate on the here and now…" Snape gestured to the forgotten ingredients, half sliced on the table. "…Poppy will be needing that pepper up soon with the cold weather taking hold." Terry obeyed Snape's request, closed the book and made his way out of the lab to return it.

Once the boy was gone Snape turned to Hermoine, " Miss Granger, I would prefer if you would not speculate on my past, present, or future with the children."

"It was harmless, the boy was excited that his Head of House may be playing in the alumni Quidditch match…are you by the way?"

"Certainly not!"

"Oh come…your Slytherins would get a kick out of seeing you play, all of us would." Hermoine tried a more casual approach to speaking with him, since it seemed to work for Terry.

"I'm sure everyone would love to have a kick at my expense…not least of all your particular class." Snape had picked up the knife that Terry had left and began chopping ingredients.

"I don't think that's true… that's not what I was trying to say at all. It's true that the students feared you, well…and yes even hated you at times but most of us know now that it was an act, a role you played as spy, to cover yourself in front of the Slytherins that might go back and tell their parents you were being to kind and could never possibly be loyal to Voldemort." Hermoine watched Snape's hands as he chopped and diced, he was intent upon the precision of his cut and never looked up.

"It wasn't all an act, usually I was that frustrated and disgusted… Longbottom alone nearly did in my patience."

"Then why do you remain…if you don't mind me asking?" Hermoine was shaky about this question; she had never had such a personal conversation with her former Professor.

Severus finally looked up from his chopping, right into Hermoine's eyes, " I find that I can't refuse Albus. He has asked me to stay on until everything quiets down and is running smoothly…a year perhaps. I will probably leave then…" Snape hesitated and then went back to chopping, he was quiet for a moment and then spoke. "Minerva is leaving with him…She will be announcing it to the staff on Friday and then formally at the alumni party."

Hermoine's ears rang with the sound of her heart beating. She would be almost alone at Hogwarts. How would she manage without Minerva giving her advice and friendship, without Albus to love and admire her and without…even Snape, to be a what… she wasn't sure what…but it was steady and predictable and she was sure now she would miss him too.

"How will you replace Minerva, she does so much; Head of Gryffindor, Assistant to the Head, and Transfiguration Professor."

"Please…I know it will be very difficult…we will have to lower our expectations for any sort of replacement. I would just settle with a decent Transfiguration teacher."

"Perhaps someone at the alumni party?" Hermoine spoke her thought.

"Must we populate the whole of Hogwarts with my former students?"

"Some of the guests will be your contemporaries." Snape hesitated in his cutting action for just long enough to reveal to Hermoine that he had not thought of that fact.

"Does that bother you, sir?" Hermoine responded to his hesitation.

"Miss Granger, have you not yet realized that everything bothers me?"

Snape added all the ingredients he had finished chopping to a cauldron he had begun simmering while they were talking.

"Well, half your work is complete, not by the Slytherin you intended but nonetheless adequate I expect." Snape smirked ever so slightly and Hermoine's eyes blinked in confusion, then with quick understanding she peered inside the cauldron and sniffed, " A bit rakish on the angle of the cutting but acceptable I suppose."

Snape smiled faintly and nodded before he left.