Disclaimer: POTO is obviously not mine. If it were, Raoul would not exist.

Oh, how I wish

Starts at the end of the musical/movie. I've seen the musical a few times, it pretty much the same as the movie. Just if you didn't know. ;)

Summary:
After failing to correct a wrong choice, Christine must live with her mistake. It is during the worst of times that she is given a second chance, and she will act upon the realization she made long ago-she needs the man in the darkness, not the one that she once associated with light.

Fading Light
Prologue

It's over now, the music of the night!

Though she did not hear it from her ears, she heard it nonetheless. The pained declaration replayed over and over in her head until she couldn't focus enough to keep her legs moving. Somehow his words spoken to no specific person had reached her, and tormented her. It was enough to bring her back to her senses and out of the daze she'd been in since leaving the depths of the Opera.

"Christine?"

She looked up at him, at his confused expression. She doubted hers was different. He was breathing heavily, and turned for a moment to glance at the waiting carriage some ways behind him. He was still very wet, and she knew that the chilly, breezy weather wasn't in his favor. They had run out of the Opera hand in hand, trying to escape from what wasn't actually following them. He was more pulling her along then she was running by herself, prevented by her state of mind, which had just now begun to fade.

"Christine? Why are you standing there?! Let's go!" He made urgent gestures with his hands in an attempt to make her hurry, but it failed. "Your things will be brought with us, everything! Christine!"

She made to move, but only managed a step. She did want to go, didn't she?

"No…" Christine said as it dawned on her that no, she didn't want to leave. She looked up at the cloudy sky, as if to silently as God if she was right. Thanking the Heavens she hadn't just made the biggest mistake of her life, she looked back at him. "Raoul…"

"Yes. I am Raoul. Correct. Now please Christine let's go!"

Christine…

She recalled how he had whispered her name into the darkness, how it echoed among the shadows. That enthralling voice that had drawn her to him so many times… she wished it were there at that moment to pull her back. Christine didn't know if she could on her own. She knew, then, she couldn't go. But she couldn't leave Raoul… she loved him!

Christine was torn between the urge to cry and to turn and run back. Settling on half of both, she turned he back to Raoul and her vision blurred with tears.

"Raoul, I… I can't go with you." Christine hugged herself around the waist and bit her lip. "I… I'm so sorry, Raoul."

He looked at the back of her head as it drooped, and was completely overrun with confusion. "Christine… what?" Blinking a few times, he walked back a bit towards her. "Come now, turn around and we'll go home. Our home. Philippe's not in town, so it should be pretty quiet. Soon we'll have our very own house, and then everything will be perfect!" Raoul went the rest of the small distance between them and put his hands on her shoulders. Leaning over her right one, he whispered to her. "Don't worry about anything. You should be happy. Relax. Now come with me and I'll help you into the carriage." He released her shoulders and gently grabbed her right hand, slowly taking her with him. Christine seemed to have fallen back into her previous daze. It was fine if she was still a little stressed.

After all, the whole recent ordeal had been quite… interesting.

Raoul only had a few steps with her, and then she just stopped. He made to go again, but Christine wouldn't move. In fact, she pulled her hand slowly away from his. "Raoul, please… I'm so terribly sorry. I can't leave with you. Please understand-"

"Would you rather leave without me?" he interrupted. "Because that's just as well. Though it would have been much more enjoyable to be together on the trip back. But if you really must-"

"Stop acting like you don't know what I'm trying to say, Raoul." She felt so very guilty and horrible to him, but it would be worse to go and feign her happiness than to leave him now and let him go on. "Please…"

Raoul couldn't believe what he saw. Christine was pleading with him to leave her! At the Opera no less! I won't have it, he thought. I worked hard to free you, and now that we're together again it will stay that way. "I don't know what's wrong with you, Christine, but you aren't yourself. Now stop being so foolish! Come with me!" He wasn't shouting, but his tone was firm. It frightened her.

"No, Raoul," she said while shaking her head. The sudden movement shook the forming tears in her eyes out and onto her face. "Go. Go on and be happy… I can't do that for you. And I know now… it wouldn't be right… This is wrong, Raoul. We can't do this. We're fooling ourselves with this."

"Christine," he said, taking a step and straightening up, "you are the one who's being fooled. There is nothing for you here!"

"There is!" she screamed. Though it had been quiet before, now there was no sound at all. Only Christine's ragged breathing from crying and running were heard. "Everything is here! My life is here!"

"Your life is with me!" Anger was rapidly filling Raoul and pushing out his patience. There was only so much room, and it had run out. "Christine, you will leave, with me, and now!" He was furious. Something was wrong with Christine, she must have been spellbound! She would never refuse him! She was his, and she was going with him.

"I said no, Raoul, and I meant it! Now just go and leave me!" The new resolve in her gave her enough power to finally deny him, and she took a few steps back while facing him.

"I can't do that, Christine. Stop that, now. Stop walking away!" He frowned as she continued to move. "Christine!"

"Go, Raoul. Go now. I'm sorry, but I have to stay. Goodbye, Raoul." Christine's voice began to crack, its supreme strength and power disappeared. Raoul advanced on her, at the same speed she was walking backwards. She felt a bit of fear pinch her, and quickened her step-only to be mimicked by Raoul. He really wasn't going to leave. He was going to make her go! No! I'm not leaving! He can not make me go! I do love you, Raoul, but I'm not in love with you! Stop Raoul! "Raoul, stop! Go back! Leave me here! Go!"

But he continued to follow her, and Christine was now thoroughly scared. He wasn't one to be angry. But such rage in his eyes… she was terrified of what he might do. This can't be happening! No! Christine chocked on a sob, trying so very hard not to cry. What's happened to you Raoul?

Fed up with the chase, he lengthened his stride and covered twice as much ground. Christine saw him rapidly approaching and closing the distance she had put between them. He was going to catch her! Catch her and physically force her into the carriage and away forever! She would never return! NO!

Christine turned and bolted.

Raoul was right behind her, she knew. All she had to do was make it to the front doors of the Opera… but she also knew it was impossible. Christine was but a woman, petite even, and was no match for her fiancée. Though she went farther than she thought she could, all too soon she felt his arms around her from behind, trapping her.

The next moments were all a blur to Christine. The coachman was there, though she could barely hear the horse shoes clattering on the cobblestone street. She did not remember there being any other people around to witness the embarrassing scene, just Raoul. She struggled and panicked and tried to cry out, but she seemed to have lost her voice. The whole thing was simply unreal. The one she loved-or used to love-grabbed her and somehow forced her inside the covered vehicle. There was no one to help her. She would never see this place again.

She was trapped.

The now freely flowing tears could not express the sorrow she felt knowing this was the last time she would see her beloved Opera and the memories it held. Christine began to feel drowsy inside the carriage, still held, struggling, by Raoul as it began to move. It was over. He would write a note giving some false reason for the hasty departure and she would never see her friends again. Christine had failed herself. Failed to keep her dream of singing and expressing herself and making people smile. She had failed her father, too. And Meg. And… and him.

In a last, desperate cry for help she called out to him, as the Opera house became farther away.

"Erik!"

But he did not come. He wouldn't, she knew. Not after what she had done. He couldn't have heard her anyway… but her heart still called to him. And it did again, silently, many times. It was the last thing she spoke before her body gave in completely to the mysterious fatigue, and all was dark.

Well well well it's been manymanymany years since I've written anything for at all! Upon realizing this, I've deleted all my previous (a whopping THREE, folks) stories and started anew! Mostly cause they sucked majorly. Whee! Anyway, this is my first phic, so be nice. Or mean. Or whatever. Just be something! Reviewing is nice! :) Oh and check back quick, I've already got chapter 2 written. Yay!