(7-18-05) Yay, 1031 reviews! I reached my goal! Thank you everyone.
This chapter isover 12,500 words long. Wowies! Incidentally, I saw Charlie and the Chocolate Factory on the day it opened, and I loved it, and I'm gonna see it again sometime soon... And I saw War of the Worlds last night, and there was blood and death and screaming and explosions, as I'd predicted. I liked it muchly.
The chapter title translates to "Story time is over!" ... I just felt like flaunting my Japanese knowledge... Muwaha. XD Sorry.
WARNING: Um... If you don't like perverted stuff... You're gonna be skipping most of this chapter. Because that's about 95 percent of it. It's my story. I'll be a perverted lecherous psycho with it if I want to! You can't stop me! I already have my thousand reviews... My nextgoal is WORLD DOMINATION! Muwahaha! But seriously. This chapter is really screwed up, perverted-wise... I know I'll get complaints... Just be thankful I warned you.
CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO!
Shousetsu no jikan ga owari desu yo.
Finally, the last day of school was upon them. Eclipse and Shadow threatened Hiei, Kurama, Yusuke, and Kuwabara with brutal, gory deaths should they not arrive at Eclipse's house promptly after school.
In school, it was hell. For the teachers, that is. Shadow and Eclipse ran rampant over the halls, throwing things, hugging people, and getting into random fights all day. First period, Eclipse filled a 5 gallon bucket with water in the bathroom and poured it in the hall, and Shadow sprayed liquid soap all over the floor. They went skating. Everyone else fell on their asses and screamed in horror as the two girls skated circles around them. It took Kurama almost falling on his ass to stop them. They didn't clean it up, though; they just escorted the fox off the floor and sat obediently in their class for the remainder of that period (about five minutes).
Second period, Tayama was glaring daggers at them, having heard about their activities the previous period. He had the gall to make the class do bookwork. Shadow found a way to piss him off even though she was obediently doing work. After all, pissing people off is her specialty.
"Anus," she said randomly. A few people glanced at her, including Tayama. Once he'd looked down, after scanning a death glare across the entire room...
"Anus."
A few people giggled. Tayama shut them up with a death glare, then scanned across the room again. He wasn't entirely sure who was doing it, but he had a 99.9 percent chance of being right, should he make a random guess. When he looked down...
"Anus."
More people laughed, and everyone was looking around now. Shadow kept her eyes on her book, scribbling, "Anus, anus, my anus is bleeding!" and writing a song to go with it... instead of doing science things like she was supposed to...
"Whoever is doing that had better stop," Tayama snarled. He looked down again, then snapped his eyes up at the exact second Shadow didn't say anus again. He glared for a few more minutes, and everyone continued working. Shadow finished her 'Ode to the Anus' song and began writing the 'Ode to a Gay-Ass Science Teacher' on the back of her paper. Tayama looked down, satisfied the jerk had stopped...
"Anus!"
"JAGANSHI!"
"Yes sir?" she said, totally innocent.
"Knock it off. I'm warning you."
"What? That wasn't me, sir. You know I would never be an anus to you on the last day of school."
Eclipse cracked up.
"Boy, if that's not a lie, I don't know what is!" she laughed. Shadow jumped on her and punched her lights out. Kurama ignored them.
"JAGANSHI!"
"Yes ma'am? I mean sir!"
"You have detention!"
"You can't give me detention, you fat gay-ass whore!"
Shadow spent the rest of second period in the office, making good-luck origami cranes and praying forgiveness from the lord of obsenties in hell (incidentally, he forgave her and doted upon her the privelige of the usage of the word 'fuck' in fourth period literature class).
Shadow took advantage of her new privelige in literature class.
"...and I hope you have a good summer," Sato was saying, when suddenly, from the crowd...
"Fuck."
She gasped. "Who said that?"
A few people who shared Shadow's second period started giggling.
"Fuck," answered, and Sato looked horrified.
"Stop it right now!"
Shadow jumped up and threw an eraser at her, then ran out of the room laughing maniacally. Eclipse stared at the door, then casually remarked, "...Fuck!" Everyone cracked up laughing. Even Kurama laughed a bit. Sato didn't.
Eclipse spent the remainder of fourth period in the office, juggling balls of wrinkled up good-luck cranes and totally ignoring the lord of obseneties in favor of doing somersaults and cartwheels in the hall outside the office.
In Health, Shadow taught a total X-Rated lesson on sex, and Etsuko-sensei almost orgasmed with so much happiness that Shadow was so educated.
Then came gym class. Shadow dragged Hiei aside while Eclipse jumped a pink jump-rope like a little child and told him all about her lesson the previous period. He stared, wide-eyed and slack-jawed.
"How do you know all this?"
"Educational mentors in Makai," she said.
"Are you sure you're still a virgin?"
"Fairly."
"Fairly!"
"One hundred percent virgin, Hiei. Well... My hands and my mouth aren't... The rest of me is."
"That's nice, koi. Didn't you have an early dismissal today?"
Shadow's jaw dropped. "OH MY GOD!" She spun and took off running, grabbing Eclipse by her shirt collar on the way. The girl flew behind her friend like a rag doll, flapping around in the wind with a stupid smile like it was the most fun she'd ever had.
"Weeee!"
"Shut up, stupid! We have to get to your house and get ready!"
Hiei and Kurama raised eyebrows at that. Then the gym doors slammed shut and they were GONE. Doom, doom, doom.
The two psychos walked home, stopping at the store for some supplies for their after-school party. Then they went to Eclipse's house, where her parents were not, and ate sandwiches (yay sandwiches!). Afterwards, they changed their clothes in preparation for their party and went back behind the house to 'get ready' for their visitors.
By the time they'd done all this, school was out, and Kurama had packed Hiei, Yusuke, and Kuwabara into his car. They ended up getting stuck behind the elementary school bus on the way to Eclipse's house, and so arrived at approximately the same time as Keiji, Eclipse's stupid little brother, and about ten of his friends. Kurama had barely pulled into the driveway before twenty thousand little hands were all over his car. He nearly had a heart attack. However, fearless Hiei put down his window, jumped out, and started doing crowd control with his sword sheath, whacking little kids upside the head and sending them flying out of the way long enough for Kurama to pull the car into the garage and shut the door. Though, the second that happened, and the shiny car was out of their sights, the little kids all jumped on Hiei.
"HOLY SHIT!" he screamed. The little kids all backed off and formed a giggling circle around him.
"You cussed," Keiji informed him. "You stupid bastard."
Hiei had barely opened his mouth when a blur shot by and all the little kids fell over and ended up twitching on the ground. Kurama stepped out of the garage at that precise moment and his jaw dropped.
"Hiei, you weren't supposed to KILL them!"
"I didn't do it!" Hiei snapped indignantly. "It was one of those psycho girls."
"Uh-huh... and where are they now?"
Hiei shrugged. Yusuke glanced around. "Where are they?"
"Probably in the deepest pits of hell," Hiei said casually. Kurama sighed.
"I'm gonna check the house. That's a logical location, isn't it?"
"Excellent thought, Sherlock," Yusuke complimented. Kurama rolled his eyes and went inside, the other three on his tail. All the little kids got up and followed a second later, so it was like follow the leader. And it really was. The second Kurama stopped, the others all stopped. The second Kurama started walking again, so did everyone else. Noticing this, he briefly wondered if he started dancing if everyone else would as well... but he was too dignified to burst into random song and dance. Unlike a certain couple girls, who were apparently not in the house.
"They're not in here," he concluded once they'd looked in every room.
"No shit, Sherlock," Hiei muttered. All the little kids were looking at Kurama expectantly. He stared back at them for a moment. Then he walked back to stand next to Hiei, whom all the little kids were behind, and bent down to their level to look Keiji in the eyes. They all stared for a few moments, while Yusuke, Kuwabara, and Hiei stared at Kurama like he was nuts. Then, suddenly, the redhead snapped, "WHAT?"
All the little kids screamed and ran away. The fox straightened, smirking. Hiei and the others looked at him like he was nuts.
"What?" he asked innocently. "I deal with this kid all the time."
"Oh really?" Hiei taunted. "I never knew that. I thought Eclipse always went to your house."
"Wait, what?" Yusuke asked, suddenly curious. "What's going on between him and Eclipse? Are you two dating now like psycho and midget here?"
Hiei cracked Yusuke over the head with his sword sheath.
"Ow! Jesus! Sorry! God, you're not a midget, okay? You're a... short... handsome guy..."
"Thank you."
"Jerk," Yusuke added under his breath.
"I heard that, dickhead."
"Thanks, stupid."
"Children!" Kurama snapped. "Act like you have half a brain, would you?"
"But he doesn't," Hiei said.
"Then don't sink to his level."
"I'll sink to whatever level I want," the fire demon retorted. "I already act like a fuckin' ningen half the time."
All the little kids peered around the corner. "You mean you're not human?"
"FUCK OFF, TODDLER-BABIES!" Hiei shouted. The little kids giggled.
"Are you gay?"
Boom.
Hiei started to lunge at them, only to find himself slammed into the floor with Kurama on top of him.
"Jesus, fox! Get the hell off me!"
"You can sink to Yusuke's level, you can sink to human levels, but you can't sink to the level of a bunch of 11-year-old boys with mental issues!"
"Look at them! They're both gay!" the little boys squealed. "EWWWWW!"
Hiei squirmed under Kurama. "Get off me! Let me kill them!"
"Hiei!" the fox snapped, pinning the fire demon's hands to the floor. "I'm sure this does look very wrong--"
"It does," Yusuke agreed, snickering. "Good thing those girls aren't here or they'd think you two were cheating on them. With each other."
Kurama got up, glaring daggers. "Dickhead."
"What was that about not sinking to his level?" Hiei asked under his breath, standing up and brushing himself off.
"Shut up, Hiei."
The fire demon rolled his eyes but didn't say anything else.
"Guys, I'm hungry," Yusuke said. "I didn't eat lunch at school."
"Your loss," Hiei said plainly.
"Shut up, short-stuff!"
Hiei snarled.
"Just cuz your girlfriend won't screw you doesn't mean you have to be pissy with me!" Yusuke added.
"AWW! YOU CUSSED!" Keiji yelled. "FUCKHEAD!"
Yusuke started stalking towards the kid. "I'll tell you what you little weiner-monkey--"
"Yusuke," Hiei and Kurama warned in unison.
"CHARGE!" Keiji yelled. Yusuke found himself buried under ten or eleven little kids.
"KURAMA! HELP!"
"Did you hear something, Hiei?" Kurama asked, leaning on the wall next to his friend.
"Nope. You?"
"Nope."
Kuwabara started trying to pry the little kids off Yusuke, to no avail, when suddenly from outside...
"WOW! Look at it! Watch it get erect!"
Just like that, there was silence.
"Holy shit! That's awesome!"
Everyone glanced at each other with widened eyes. Yusuke took advantage of the little boys' distraction to get up and get them all off of him.
"And this is like a pink condom!"
"Sweet-ass!"
Hiei stared at Kurama. Kurama stared at Hiei. Yusuke stared at both of them. Kuwabara was too horrified to stare at anything.
"Hiei...?" Yusuke muttered.
"I know. That's them," he said.
"What're they doing?"
"I haven't a clue. I don't want to know."
"HEY! Get that out of there! Shadow! Get it out of my pants!" Eclipse's voice screamed.
"You know you like it!"
Hiei's jaw dropped. Kurama's already had.
"Are your nipples hard?" came Shadow's voice. "'Cause mine are!"
"Jesus, Shadow! You're getting me wet!"
"Okay," Kurama said shakily. "That can't be what it sounds like."
"With them," Hiei said, "I wouldn't doubt it's exactly what it sounds like."
"Hiei!" Yusuke cried. "Your girlfriend is a lesbian?"
"LESBIANS ARE AWESOME!" Keiji screamed. Hiei hauled off and punched him.
Outside, Shadow and Eclipse looked at each other and cracked up laughing. Inside, everyone stared towards the back of the house and slowly edged away.
"You look sexy," Eclipse said.
"You anus! Turn it on, it's getting limp!"
"Oh, shit! Sorry!"
"Let's see how much I can put into my mouth!"
Hiei made a strangled noise. Kuwabara passed out.
"Wow, Shadow! That's a lot!"
"Okay, fuck this!" Kurama snapped. He started towards the front door.
"AAUUUUUUUGHHHH! YOU POPPED MY CHERRY!"
Kurama fell down the stairs. Hiei bit his lip, wide eyed.
"I didn't mean to!"
"You put too much in!"
Hiei squeezed his eyes shut tightly and bit his lip until it bled. Yusuke had some drool running out of his mouth at the images in his mind. All the eleven-year-olds were giggling like little girls (which, for all anyone else knew, they were).
Kurama managed to drag himself to his feet. There was silence from outside. Hiei hesitantly opened his eyes and made his way down the stairs. He stopped next to Kurama.
"Are you going outside?"
"Let's wait a minute..."
"Good idea."
They stared at the door for a few minutes, then Kurama looked at Hiei. "Your lip is bleeding."
"Whatever. Let's go."
Yusuke came trotting down the stairs and they grabbed him, pushing him in front of them out the door. All the little eleven-year-olds came swarming like psychos down the stairs and managed to cram themselves through the door. They stampeded around the back of the house the opposite way Kurama and the other two were going.
"Guys, why are you pushing me in front?" Yusuke asked.
"Safety," the other two answered in unison.
"Oh, come on! If your girlfriends are being lesbians together back here, do you really want me to see it?"
They paused. Suddenly, ten or eleven little boy voices screamed.
"HOLY CRAP!"
There was a shriek from Shadow and Eclipse.
"GET AWAY! YOU CAN'T SEE US!"
The little boys then were all screaming in sporadic intervals, sounding kind of like they were running all around like maniacs. Hiei and Kurama glanced at each other, then shoved Yusuke aside and stalked around the back of the house. The teen fell on his ass, but they ignored him.
"What the he-- HOLY SHIT!" Both the demons found themselves being sprayed full-force with freezing cold water from a garden hose. Despite suddeny being totally drenched, they were both totally relieved. The girls were both clothed, and sitting all around them were five-gallon buckets full of... water balloons.
"Oh! Hiei! Koishii, I'm so sorry!" Shadow squealed, throwing the hose aside so it hit Eclipse in the head and running to Hiei. She threw her arms around him and kissed him.
Yusuke stared. "What I would give for a skantily clad soaking wet girl to jump on me and kiss me like that..." He sighed.
Both Shadow and Eclipse were soaked from head to toe, wearing skimpy thin white shorty shorts and a thin white spaghetti strap belly shirt, no shoes.
"That's hot," Kurama stated plainly. Eclipse turned off the hose after drenching her little brother a bit more, then went running to Kurama and kissed him in the same manner. Yusuke sighed and sulked away.
"Why's your lip bleeding?" Shadow asked, glancing at Hiei's still-bleeding lip.
"I bit it when you two were screaming about popping cherries."
"Awwww," she muttered, licking the blood away then walking towards the buckets of water balloons. She picked one up and brought it back. "Look. We drew fruits on them. So, it's a cherry."
Hiei sighed and laid down on the grass. "We thought you were having lesbian sex back here or something."
Shadow got an indignant look on her face. "You are a typical man!" She broke the water balloon over his face.
"Ow! Jesus, Shadow, that's cold!"
"Ever had a water balloon fight?"
"No," he said as he sat up and wiped off his face. Shadow straddled his lap and kissed him again.
"Well, more or less, the point is to have fun and get people wet. And not in the perverted sense, though if I were wet in that sense right now you wouldn't be able to tell cuz Eclipse soaked me with the hose."
"Okay..."
"You just fling balloons at people and whoever gets wettest loses."
"If we go by those rules, you already lost," Kurama pointed out.
"Shut up, anus! We're not playing by those rules."
"Then what rules are we playing by?"
"There's six of us, and ten little boys. Goal: hurt the little boys with water balloons," Eclipse told them.
"We can do that," Hiei said, grinning.
"That's not very nice," Kurama reprimanded.
"They think you're gay, Kurama! Be angry! Be a man!" Hiei snapped.
"Like you have any room to talk, there, shorty!" Kurama retorted.
"Short guys are guys just the same!" Shadow snapped. "Hiei is a sexy hunk of man! He's my sexy hunk of man!"
"Thanks, Shadow," Hiei said sarcastically.
"Welcome. Can we get this show on the road now?"
"We weren't really coming prepared for a water balloon fight," Kurama pointed out. Eclipse shrugged.
"We'll have a campfire tonight and you guys can dry off and warm up. We'll be flinging balloons at each other for hours."
"Sounds exciting," Hiei muttered sarcastically. Shadow grabbed his face.
"Hiei! Look at me! Of course it's exciting!"
He looked at her. "Oh yeah."
"Stupid," she muttered under her breath.
"I heard that."
"But you know it's true."
"Is not."
Eclipse snuck over to the water balloon treasury and grabbed a few, winging them at the fire demons. Shadow let out a shriek as freezing cold water burst all over her back. Hiei winced at the high-pitched sound.
"Okay, this is war!" Shadow snapped, lunging off Hiei and running to the buckets. She grabbed two balloons and shoved them down her shirt, then grabbed a couple more and tore after Eclipse, who was unarmed.
"I thought the point was to hurt the little kids," Kurama said.
"I don't care what the point was," Hiei replied plainly, his eyes glued to his girlfriend.
"And I thought Yusuke was a pervert," Kurama taunted when he noticed.
"I'm allowed. She's my girlfriend," Hiei snapped. He got up and went to the buckets, picking up a few balloons and walking back to Kurama. He stood there staring down at his friend for a minute before extending his arm and popping a balloon right over Kurama's head.
"Ow! You stupid!"
Yusuke darted off to get Kuwabara while Kurama got up and dodged a balloon flung at him by Hiei and ran for the ammo buckets. All the little kids got in the spirit and loaded up on balloons, flinging them at each other but mainly focusing on Kurama (most of them knew him from all the times he'd been at Eclipse's house... and they wanted to victimize him because he was Eclipse's boyfriend). They regretted that, because Eclipse took to fiercely defending him, and most of them ended up with welts.
Yusuke came running around the side of the house, snagged a few balloons, and went berserk on Hiei.
"Holy shit! Why are you targetting me!"
"Because you need it! Stop gaping at Shadow's practically naked body!"
"Shadow's clear on the other side of the house! I can't see her! Retard!"
"Well then it's just cuz you beat me at paintball!"
"Oh! Oh, so that's what we're turning this into now, huh?" They stared at each other for a second, then both simultaneously made a mad dash for the balloon buckets. Hiei got there first and went for one of the full buckets. The two both started a rapid-fire balloon assault on each other, while Shadow ran around like a maniac trying to shake five little kids off her tail and Eclipse defended Kurama from the other little kids. Kuwabara was watching from a safe distance when Shadow snatched a balloon from Yusuke's bucket and hurled it at the human. It smacked him straight in the face and exploded, soaking him. He shrieked in horror.
"Join the fun, anus!" Shadow commanded. "Catch!" She tossed him a couple balloons, intending for him to catch them and throw them at somebody, but they hit him in the chest and exploded. He ran for the buckets to get revenge on Shadow.
Yusuke and Hiei's war was going no where. Both were drenched and covered in red marks, but neither was about to give up. They each had one balloon left. One shot. Somehow, Shadow knew this and snuck up behind Hiei and began dancing to distract Yusuke. It worked, and Hiei launched his last balloon right into the boy's nuts.
"OWWWWWWW!"
Shadow jumped on Hiei from behind and kissed his neck, wrapping her legs around his waist. Eclipse ran by just then, picked up the bucket, which was half-full with water, and dumped it over them.
"HOLY SHIT THAT'S COLD!" Shadow screeched. Hiei winced again at the high-pitched shriek.
"Are you trying to make me go deaf!"
"Sorry koishii." She jumped away and darted after her friend, waving around a few pink balloons. "GET BACK HERE, ANUS!"
This, of course, left Yusuke twitching on the ground, Kuwabara being chased by little children, Kurama cornered by little children, and Hiei standing there soaked and shivering while Shadow and Eclipse chased each other in circles around the house. They actually had no idea who was chasing who after a bit, because it ended up more like they were just running circles around the house waving balloons and screaming for no reason. Finally, Eclipse just lunged onto the trellace conveniently placed under her bedroom window. She climbed up it like a monkey and went into her room, grabbing a few CDs and popping them in the stereo. She placed a speaker in each of her windows and hit play, then lunged out the window and bodyslammed Shadow as she ran by again. Hiei stared with raised eyebrows, temporarily distracted, and was suddenly pinned in the ass with a balloon.
"Fuck!" he yelped, and spun to face Yusuke.
"My balls still hurt, you asshole!"
"I won, then."
"Shut up!"
Yusuke lunged at Hiei and they started into a full-fledged fistfight, jumping all over the place punching each other. Shadow and Eclipse, who were wrestling around in the mud while screamy headbanger music played, stopped when they noticed this.
"That won't do," Eclipse sighed. "That just won't do."
"What do you propose?"
An evil grin passed over the blue-eyed girl's face. "Well..." She began whispering her plan in Shadow's ear (while both were still wet, soaked in mud, and lying tangled together on the ground... yes... sick, no?). Keiji noticed them and shrieked.
"MY SISTER'S A LESBIAN AND HER BOYFRIEND IS GAY!"
Kurama hurled a water balloon at the kid and hit him right in the back of the head, knocking him face-first into a giant mud puddle.
"Agreed?" Eclipse asked Shadow.
"Agreed. Now get your boobies off me."
Eclipse scurried up the trellace again, switched CDs, and sought out a certain perfect song for her plan, then jumped back out the window. Shadow was in position, Yusuke and Hiei were snarling and wrestling around on the ground like a couple teenagers, and Kurama and Kuwabara were back to back and surrounded with predatory eleven-year-olds armed with balloons. The song started playing and Eclipse sprayed water up in the air, arching it so just a fine mist came down over Shadow as she danced... suggestively.
Kurama was the first to notice and his eyes widened about three times their natural size as his Youko half started squirming and writhing and pleading with him to do a certain thing...
Kuwabara noticed Kurama's sudden lapse of attention and followed his gaze. His jaw dropped and he looked away. How inappropriate and un-gentlemanly for him to stare. At someone else's girlfriend, no less.
Then Hiei noticed, and Yusuke got in about three good punches before he noticed the fire demon was no longer fighting back, nor paying the least bit of attention to him. He followed the fire demon's eyes and his jaw dropped.
Shadow was an excellent dancer. Hiei knew this already from a few... demonstrations she'd given him. But this, in his opinion, should be illegal. His girlfriend was dancing practically naked under a gentle spray of water in such a way that he was willing to bet the most gayest of gay guys would want to screw her. That was so not even fair. He let out a little whimpery moan and stared, taking in every contour of her body as she moved as fluidly as the water itself.
When the song was over, Eclipse turned off the hose and Hiei groaned and flopped back on the grass with his eyes closed. He abruptly became aware of a weight on his hips and looked down. Yusuke was still sitting on him.
"OH! Get off me you sick freak!" he cried, pushing the dazed boy away and getting up. He went straight to Shadow and grabbed her hand, dragging her out of everyone else's line of sight.
"That worked exquisitely well," Eclipse said cheerfully. She glanced at her boyfriend and found him just about as dazed as Yusuke was. "This won't do." She stalked over to him and slapped him across the face, causing him to yelp loudly.
"Ow! Oh, God, Eclipse! I wasn't gaping."
"Yes you were," she said, pulling him to his feet and pushing a few strands of soaking wet hair off his face. "How much do you want to bet Hiei's over there fucking her right now?"
The equivalent of a stampede occured around them as all the little children ran to find Hiei and Shadow. They ran all the way around the house, and could not find them. Rounding the corner to the back of the house, all the little children stopped dead... and screamed. Eclipse and Kurama were kissing, RIGHT THERE IN THE OPEN!
"He really IS your boyfriend!" Keiji screamed. Eclipse pulled back and glared at her stupid little brother.
"Yes! Now go screw a cow!"
"I'M TELLING MOM!"
"MOM'S NOT HERE! And she wouldn't care anyways. It's not like he's a drug-addict or anything."
"But he's GAY!"
Kurama sighed, rolling his eyes.
"Yes, sure, I'm gay, all the time, with Hiei," he said sarcastically.
Shadow's face appeared off the edge of the roof. "What about Hiei?"
"ECLIPSE'S BOYFRIEND SCREWED HIM!" Keiji screamed. Shadow spun around and looked at Hiei, who had wide eyes.
"He did not," the fire demon denied. Shadow pulled a shingle off the roof and chucked it at Keiji, hitting him in the forehead.
"HE DID NOT! STOP LYING! LIARS BURN IN HELL!"
"YOU CUSSED!" a little kid screamed.
"I DID NOT, YOU DUMB LITTLE BASTARD!"
"Shadow," Hiei said. She looked at him. "You just did."
"I did?" She paused thoughtfully. "Oh yeah! I did! Ha ha ha, imagine that!" Then she jumped on him and kissed him.
"What are you two doing up there!" Eclipse called. "I don't want you fucking on my roof!"
"Okay!" Shadow called down.
"Get down here!" Kurama ordered. Shadow jumped off the roof and slammed into him, knocking him onto his back in the mud. Eclipse screamed.
"You evil lady!"
"I'm holding your boyfriend hostage! Go get me something to drink!"
"I can't go inside like this! I'm covered in mud!"
"So? So am I." She looked around. Kuwabara wasn't muddy. "KUWABARA!"
"What?" he yelped, turning.
"Go inside and get us all something to drink!" Eclipse ordered.
"Why me?"
"Cuz you're not muddy! And we don't trust those little brats not to spit in it."
The boy sulked away. Hiei dropped down from the roof and landed in the mud, splashing it all over everyone. Eclipse screamed when she noticed Shadow was still sitting on Kurama.
"HIEI GET YOUR GIRLFRIEND OFF MY BOYFRIEND!"
"Shadow, get off the fox."
"Why?"
"I told you to."
"Well aren't you just high and mighty!"
"Yes I am. Get off him."
Shadow frowned, then got up and started towards Hiei, then made a mad dash at the little children who'd drawn closer as they'd talked. All the little boys screamed and ran.
Yusuke, meanwhile, was still lying where he'd landed when Hiei had shoved him away.
Finally, Kuwabara came back out with their drinks and Shadow snatched hers from him, glaring.
"'Bout time, slow poke! See if anyone ever hires you as a butler!"
"I don't wanna be a butler!"
"Shut up! Everyone wants to be a butler! Even Hiei!"
"I do not," Hiei snapped.
"Shut up," Shadow retorted. Hiei frowned.
"Fine. See if I ever talk to you again."
"Hiei I'm so sorry, I didn't mean anything I said!" she cried, chasing after him as he walked away.
"Awww!" ten little kids chorused. "You're in trouble!"
As Hiei passed the buckets of water balloons, he snatched one and hurled it at the kids. They scattered. However, he pinned Keiji right in the back. Shadow let out a whoop.
"You go!" she cheered.
Hiei took the drink Shadow handed him and sat down in the mud. He didn't see the point in attempting to keep his clothes even slightly clean now. He was drenched from head to toe, with mud splattered all over him. Shadow plopped down next to him and he glanced at her and snickered. Her practically see-through clothes were also splattered with mud, and she had smears all over her skin.
"What?" she snapped, noticing him staring.
"You look nice," he told her, smirking.
"Why thank you, Hiei," she replied, kissing his muddy cheek. "So do you, of course."
Eclipse coughed from a little ways away, and it sounded oddly like "Sap!"
Shadow flung a handful of mud at her, and hit Kuwabara instead. He screamed like a girl.
"That wasn't very nice!" he whined. She flung another handful for good measure. This one he dodged, but it continued on and hit Keiji. Shadow whooped. "Bonus!"
Eclipse looked in all the buckets that had held their water balloons. "Okay, we're down to about two hundred balloons!"
"How many did we have to start with?" Kurama asked.
"A lot more than two hundred!" Shadow supplied cheerfully. "Like, a thousand?"
"You guys filled up a thousand balloons?"
"Yeah, we had a lot of time."
Kurama shook his head. "You're nuts."
"You're the one dating Eclipse! Don't talk to me about nuts," Shadow snapped.
"She's got a point there, fox," Hiei said.
"I'm not nuts," Eclipse said. "I'm a real sweetheart..." She pushed a few strands of Kurama's wet hair behind his ear, leaving muddy streaks on his face from her fingers. Leaning up, she kissed his lips gently.
"I think she has multiple personalities," Kurama said.
"Don't you think you should avoid a relationship with a person like that?" Hiei asked.
"It's complicated," the fox said.
"I'd ditch her."
"You're just trying to break us up because you want Kurama all for yourself," Eclipse accused. Hiei snorted.
"If you say so."
"So it's TRUE!"
All the little kids pointed. "YOU'RE GAY TOO!"
"Of course," Hiei replied sarcastically. "Me and Kurama are just so gay. We're gay all the time. We have our own gay cult. We get together weekly and have gay orgies. We're so gay... we're just the pinnacle of your definition of gay."
"Do you wear pink?"
"Yup," Hiei answered, nodding.
"Do you wear leather?"
"Oh yes," Kurama added, walking over to sit next to Hiei in the mud.
"Do you wear makeup?"
"All the time."
"Do you like to screw guys?"
All the teens got identical 'Is this kid retarded?' looks on their faces. Kurama nodded.
"Yes, Takeji, we screw guys," he said patiently.
"Have you ever screwed Hiei?"
"I thought we went through this already?" Hiei asked. Kurama nodded again.
"We did."
"Hey!" the kid screamed. "Have you!"
"Yes. All the time. And I scream like a well-trained whore through the whole process," Hiei retorted dryly.
"Hey!" Shadow said suddenly. "You two kiss!"
"WHAT?" two voices cried in unison, and instantly Hiei and Kurama were about fifty feet apart, looking at each other as if the other were a disease.
"I don't think so," Hiei said. Shadow got behind him and began pushing him towards Kurama.
"Come on!" she pleaded quietly. "Just to scare off the little kids!"
"It wouldn't scare them!"
"Yes it would!"
"They WANT to see stuff like that!"
"Not GUYS! They WANT to see you and me or Eclipse and Kurama, y'know? Actually, they don't want to see any of it, cuz they're at that age where 'kissing is GROSS!'"
"But--"
"Please?"
"No!"
"For me?"
"No."
"Hiei..."
"Shadow..."
"Please? You don't have to like it."
"I don't want to at all!"
By now, Hiei and Kurama were about two feet apart, as Eclipse had been pushing her boyfriend towards Shadow's and purring most of the same pleas into his ear as well.
"I'll give you something you'll really like afterwards," Shadow whispered. "I promise."
"I don't want to," Hiei whined. "I shouldn't have to do this!"
"I know!" Eclipse said excitedly, pulling a coin out of her pocket. "Heads says you kiss--with tongue--and tails says you don't kiss at all."
Yusuke came darting over to watch. The coin went up... up... down... Eclipse snatched it out of the air and smacked it down on the back of her hand.
"Kurama, do the honors?" She held out her hand. The others peered at it. Kurama flipped it over and clapped his hands together.
"Wow! Tails! Guess that means I don't have to kiss my best friend who also happens to be of the same gender!"
Eclipse and Shadow glared at him with enough venom to make the most poisonous of creatures shy away in fear. Kurama swallowed nervously.
"Eep?" he squeaked. Eclipse grabbed his shoulders and pushed him down to his knees, making him sit on his feet. Shadow pushed Hiei down so he straddled the fox's lap, and the two girls held them that way until they stopped struggling.
"I figure you should know, I never wanted to do this," Kurama said honestly to Hiei as the two girls positioned their boyfriends' hands.
"Me neither," Hiei replied in an uncharacteristically nervous voice.
"Okay," Shadow said. She knelt behind Hiei and Eclipse knelt behind Kurama. As insurance.
"Go for it," Eclipse said.
If you don't wanna see this... um... scroll down 'til you see the next bold words! THE ALMIGHTY BOLD WORDS!
Both demons' bodies were tense. Neither of them wanted to do this. Especially not with approximately fifteen spectators.
Their lips were a hair's breadth apart. Both were breathing a bit heavier from anxiety and tenseness. They were frozen that way. Neither willing to actually... initiate it.
"Are you sure we have to do this?" Kurama asked one last time, his eyes locked with Hiei's.
Shadow and Eclipse simultaneously pushed their boyfriends' mouths together. Hiei whimpered, squeezing his eyes shut, as he and Kurama very tentatively kissed. Both were very aware that Yusuke was taking pictures. In fact, they were trying very hard to concentrate on anything but the sensations caused by their tongues.
Hiei felt Shadow's breath on his neck, her hands on his chest as she tried to make him relax with gentle kisses. Almost afraid it was working, Hiei pulled away from Kurama.
OKAY! SQUEAMISH PEOPLE WHO'LL COMPLAIN ABOUT THIS IN A REVIEW, YOU CAN KEEP READING NOW!
"That was disgusting," he said, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.
"I agree," Kurama muttered. "You're too good of a friend to ever be anything more."
"The feeling is mutual," Hiei said.
"Then why are you still sitting on his lap!" Yusuke asked accusingly.
"Because Shadow's HOLDING ME HERE!" the little demon snarled, nearly making flames erupt around himself (which in effect would burn Kurama, Eclipse, and Yusuke). As it was, the temperature around him spiked drastically. "Give me that damn camera!"
Yusuke snapped one last picture from farther away to show the situation (as in, Kurama and Hiei being held in place by their girlfriends), then laughed. "Wow! I used a whole roll of film on like, fifteen seconds of kissing!"
Hiei jumped up and made to tear after Yusuke, who ran away instantly, but he found himself flat on his face on the ground, Shadow hanging onto his ankle. He rolled over and glared down at her. She crawled up and lay down on him.
"I promised you something for doing that, didn't I?"
Hiei snorted. "And you'd damn well better cough it up."
"I was actually thinking more of sucking it down," she whispered. "If you know what I mean." Hiei's eyes widened.
"You what?"
"You'll get your reward later, dear. At home." She kissed him, then got up. "Resume chase."
Hiei was too dazed to just brush off that offer so easily. He'd forgotten all about Yusuke already.
"I bet I'm not getting whatever he's getting," Kurama said to Eclipse, looking at the way Hiei was acting after Shadow's near silent whispers.
"He's probably getting laid," she replied. "And in that case, no, you're not."
"Oh. Lucky him," he muttered distractedly. Shadow was dancing again, breaking water balloons over herself. She totally ruined the mood, however, when one wouldn't break and she went nuts, eventually jumping up and down on it to make sure it popped and stayed popped, dammit.
All the little kids had scattered the second his and Hiei's lips had met. Maybe that horror truly was a blessing in disguise.
'You know you liked it,' Youko purred from the back of his mind.
'Shut up, you sick bastard. You know I could never be attracted to Hiei.'
'I could.'
'You're a sick freak. Go away.'
'Can't. I'm in your head. Hey, touch Eclipse's ass, will you?'
'No!'
'You know you wanna. It's not like you've never done it before.'
'Shut up, Youko. Go back to sleep.'
'I can't. There's too many sexual vibes all around right now. Just look at Hiei. Shadow must have promised him something good.'
The fire demon was finally standing up. He went straight to Shadow and dragged her aside to talk to her.
'Oh. He seems... upset. I bet she's trying to seduce him again,' Youko chuckled. 'That girl has so many hormones... I'm willing to satisfy her... Why won't Hiei?'
'Does it MATTER? It's their relationship, not yours.'
'Oh, Shuuichi... You're such a spoilsport. I bet Hiei's so skittish about having sex because he's afraid of hurting Shadow. Can you believe he's gone a year without sex?'
'How do you know that?'
'Kitsune's intuition. I can tell.'
'You are a freak.'
He heard the silver thief give an indignant pout. 'I resent that.'
'Whatever.'
'As I was saying...'
'Hiei doesn't want to have sex with Shadow because he's really a very tender, innocent, scared person inside, and now that he's finally found someone he truly loves, he's afraid to take the final step to seal their relationship because what if something happens to him, or to her, or to them? He's a loner by nature and to have somebody so close to his heart to protect scares him.'
There was silence from Youko. 'How do you know that?'
'I'm the one with the emotions, fox. I know them when I see them. And I know Hiei.'
'I think you made it up.'
Kurama rolled his eyes. 'You would. Just because my reason isn't the same as yours.'
But Youko had closed their conversation, and refused to say another word.
"You done?" Eclipse asked, looking impatient.
"Huh?" he replied intelligently.
"Talking to Youko."
"Oh. Yeah. Sorry."
"Awesome." She leaned up and kissed him.
Shadow, meanwhile, was back to being hyper. Hiei wasn't.
"Shadow, would you listen to me?"
She grabbed Hiei's shoulders. "You wanna be with me, right?"
Startled by the question, he hesitated, then nodded. "Of course I do!"
"Then stop being so... so... guarded. Loosen up! We're gonna have to do this stuff sooner or later, right?" She pressed herself against him. "I happen to prefer sooner. And I know you do too."
Hiei said nothing. Shadow petted him on the head.
"I thought so. Now, if you have anymore complaints, take them up with me later. Right now, I wanna have FUN!"
She kissed him quickly, then ran off the the buckets of water balloons. She hurled a few at Kurama and Eclipse, laughing maniacally. The couple, who were kissing, broke apart, nearly screaming. Eclipse lunged to her feet and tore after Shadow. With all the little kids out of the way, it was a lot easier to have fun.
And, thank the lord, Eclipse's parents came home shortly and all the excess children had to go home. There was a very near disaster, however, when Eclipse's father started coming around the back of the house. Seeing the imminent danger, Kurama whipped off his school uniform jacket and wrapped it around Eclipse. Shadow flitted out of sight.
After all, with parents like Eclipse's, the only two girls at the party being in almost no clothes and running around with three hot guys and Kuwabara, wouldn't have sat well.
"Eclipse?" her father called, rounding the corner to the back of the house. Even though it was still light, the campfire had been started so it was good and hot for later (not like they didn't have two people capable of making it good and hot whenever the hell they felt like it). Hiei was sitting there poking it with a stick and sending sparks flying, which, until the imminent threat of parents sighting her, Shadow had been utmostly fascinated with. Kurama had his arm around Eclipse, and Yusuke and Kuwabara were hanging around with cans of pop, talking.
"Yeah?" she asked, looking up at her father. They really looked nothing alike--not surprising, considering he wasn't her real father. He was typical Japanese, dark hair and dark eyes. Eclipse had light brown hair and blue eyes.
Her father smiled at Kurama. "Shuuichi, nice to see you again."
"You too, sir." The white shirt he wore under his uniform jacket was soaked, making his chest pretty visible. He was grateful he'd actually worn a shirt under his jacket today... sometimes he didn't. That wouldn't have gone over well. Well, it would have been better than Eclipse's father seeing her in her state of... almost-undressedness.
"Eclipse, dear, your mother wants to know what your friends want for dinner." Shadow appeared out of nowhere behind the guy and started making funny faces and waving her arms around and dancing, totally silent. Picture Yusuke on the first episode of Yu Yu Hakusho when he was playing with the little kid.
"We're roasting hot dogs and stuff over the fire."
"Oh. Well that's a good idea." Shadow began doing a monkey imitation (sans sound effects). Eclipse snickered. Kurama squeezed her shoulder warningly.
"We're all kind of muddy... So you or Mom will have to bring out the food stuff later," she managed.
"No problem, honey. Is everything alright out here?" Shadow popped up over his right shoulder, mocking him.
"Everything's fine," Kurama assured him, as Eclipse was currently muffling laughter that threatened to kill her, while staring over her dad's shoulder. "Thank you."
"Is something... funny?" He glanced over his shoulder and Shadow dodged out of his sight. He turned a bit, and Shadow stayed at his back. Eclipse started snickering. He spun around completely, and Shadow vanished.
"Nothing, sir," Kurama assured him. Shadow appeared behind Kurama, staying invisible to Eclipse's father, and grabbed his ass. He muffled a yelp. Then she vanished again.
"Eclipse, are you... wearing anything?"
"Of course I am!"
Shadow appeared behind her father, dancing again.
"I was just cold," she continued. "Being drenched in cold water can do that to a person, you know."
"...Okay..."
Again, Shadow was mocking him. Eclipse snickered, and he spun around...
And Shadow was gone. She flitted up to the roof.
"We're alright, dad. I was just thinking of a really funny joke Yusuke told me..." Eclipse lied.
"Oh. Care to let me in on it?"
"It's kind of an inside joke sort of thing... Y'know. You'd'a had to of been there."
"Oh. Okay. Well, tell me when you need your dinner."
"We will."
"And could you turn that music down? It's awfully loud in the house."
"Okay."
He walked away and Shadow reappeared. Eclipse whacked her in the side of the head. "Stupid!"
"You know you love me. Now go turn down your music."
"Shut up." She scurried up the trellace and turned off her stereo.
"I SAID DOWN, NOT OFF!"
"SHUT UP!"
"Your girlfriend is bossy," Shadow muttered to Kurama.
"I know."
"But you love her anyways!" the girl continued sweetly. "Aww!"
"So... what are you giving Hiei for what we did earlier?"
"You mean kissing?" She leaned up and whispered in his ear. And rather than being shocked, he simply said, "You mean you haven't done that before?"
"No."
"I figured you were gonna finally have sex."
"No, he's still avoiding that. But that's okay, because whether he wants to or not, I'm seducing him and we're having sex on New Year's day."
Kurama smiled. "That's an awful long time to wait."
"Well, we've gotta take it slow, to let us both get used to doing this stuff, right? We can't just jump into it totally randomly whenever we feel like it, and figure we'll be okay with it. Y'know. We don't want to be total strangers to each others' bodies and stuff, do we? To make the experience better, I figure we should know each other oh-so-well before we do it. Right?"
"If that's what you believe. Sometimes it's better to be surprised."
"Not if it's a bad surprise."
"Oh, come on. Are you seriously saying you have doubts about Hiei?"
"Waaaaill... He did say he let Mukuro dominate him..."
"Don't start with that. You know you don't want him to be a control freak."
"Nope. Cuz I've got handcuffs!"
"And you plan to use them the second you can, don't you?"
"Well, maybe not the first second I get the chance... Maybe the second second."
"Oh, okay."
Eclipse popped up behind them.
"What're we talking about?"
"My sex life," Shadow said. "I came to consult your boyfriend for advice."
"No you didn't."
"I came to consult your boyfriend for advice," Shadow repeated in the same tone to emphasize that.
"She came to consult me for advice," Kurama conceded. "Even though she didn't, really."
"Now I'm confused."
"Why don't we try to clean ourselves up some, okay?" Kurama suggested. "So we're not all muddy and our clothes don't get crusty when they dry."
"Excellent idea. Come this way, dear." She grabbed his shirt and dragged him over to the hose. Turning it on, she began to hose off all the muck from his pants and hair, while he stood there and shivered.
'Ooh! You know what this means?' Youko piped up from the back of his mind. 'This means that next, you get to hose her off!'
'Sod off, Youko!'
'You're such a bitch, Shuuichi.'
But he didn't say anything else. He had been right, however. Eclipse handed Kurama the hose after she finished washing him off, and he got to soak her. Youko was having fits in the back of his mind as he watched her clean herself off, but he managed to restrain the perverted kitsune.
"ME NEXT!" Shadow squealed, totally spoiling the moment.
"Shadow...!" Kurama whined.
"I know I totally spoiled the moment. That was the point. We can't have you getting all horny here, can we?"
Kurama made a dissatisfied noise in his throat.
They all finished washing themselves and each other, then gathered around the fire to warm up and dry off. It was getting dark by the time they were comfortable (though everyone else was comfortable far earlier than Yusuke or Kuwabara... purely because those two didn't have anyone to cuddle with, besides each other, and that's just gross).
"I'm hungry," Shadow announced. She stood up and whipped a pair of pants and shoes out of nowhere.
"What are you doing?"
"Going to tell the parents we need the hotdogs and other shit for roasting."
"Can I roast a steak?" Eclipse asked.
"I don't think that'd work."
"But I want a steak."
"We'll have hotdogs, s'mores, and whatever else your parents give me that we can stick on a stick and roast over fire."
"Steak?"
Shadow pulled on the pants over her shorts and put on her boots, then ran around to the front door. She returned a few minutes later with a tray stacked high with roastable foods. Yusuke whooped and grabbed anything he could get his hands on. Impaling a little bit of all of it, he stuck his interesting shishkabob over the fire. Shadow stripped off her pants but kept the boots, then grabbed a hot dog and impaled it over the fire.
She had great fun with her hot dog, and only Hiei and Kurama knew the deeper meaning behind her attempting to shove the whole thing down her throat. Well... deeper meaning... being that she had every intention of giving Hiei a blowjob when they got home. XD But nobody but Hiei, Kurama, and herself knew that for sure.
"Practicing?" Yusuke asked through a mouthful of his own mess of food. His shishkabob had consisted of several kinds of meat, along with marshmallows, which had melted and stuck to the hot dogs and such, so he ended up with marshmallow-covered hot dogs. He ate them and told everyone they tasted great.
Shadow couldn't answer his taunt, because she had successfully gotten the whole hot dog down her throat and almost choked to death when she started laughing at the look Hiei and Kurama gave her.
"Still worried?" she asked Hiei quietly. He shook his head mutely. "Excited?" He nodded. It was only then he realized that he really never quite fathomed, entirely, what Shadow could do to him. He suddenly realized that he'd been too worried before, about her, about them... to think like a demon. She was talented. Almost everything she did showed some sort of talent or ability that could be useful in the bedroom. He'd always brushed it off as her being stupid. So what if she could cram a whole hot dog down her throat and not choke? It was a stupid thing to do in the first place.
But now he realized, he'd been stupid. All her silliness, he'd never used his imagination, really, to think how she could put that to use on him. How freaking good it would feel. But now he realized.
And that realization was a bad one to have while she was sitting on his lap deep-throating a hot dog.
"Oh, hell," he muttered.
"Problems?" Kurama asked quietly while Eclipse sat on his lap and happily munched on a s'more, oblivious to everything but graham crackers, chocolate, and perfectly roasted marshmallows.
"Yeah," he managed, nodding. "I just started thinking like a demon again."
"Uh-oh. Are you gonna jump her?"
Shadow looked at Hiei curiously, the tip of a hot dog sticking out of her mouth.
"Would you get that out of your mouth?" Hiei pleaded. The hot dog slid out so she held only the tip in her mouth, and the rest, glistening with saliva, stuck out of her mouth. She looked at him with puffed out cheeks, a curious, innocent look in her eyes. Though she hadn't been entirely oblivious to the way his body temperature had suddenly increased a few degrees, she didn't really take in what it meant. Until he pulled the hot dog out of her mouth and kissed her.
"Pulling out all the stops, I see," Yusuke noted from beside Kurama as Shadow moved to straddle Hiei. Kuwabara was watching with a look of horror on his face. "They finally gonna screw?"
"Yeah, right here and now if they don't chill out," Eclipse snapped. Kurama jumped. A second ago she had been silently, stupidly eating a smore. Now she was glaring at her best friend like she was a disease.
'Hot...' Youko muttered in the back of Kurama's head. 'So hot.'
'Restrain yourself, if you would.'
'I don't believe I can. And with you currently... not concentrating on me...'
Poosh!
Eclipse screeched as Youko appeared right under her. She nearly fell in the fire in her haste to get away.
The fox knew better than to harass his friend when he was in the middle of making out with a nearly naked beautiful girl, but the second they pulled apart, he clapped lightly.
"Very nice. Good job on losing some of the disgusting humanity that's rubbed off on you, Hiei."
The fire demon glanced up, eyes wide. "You!"
"Me," Youko returned, smiling. "You know, a little bit ago, when you were freaking out about Shadow's offer, Shuuichi told me you were... what were his words... 'a very tender, innocent, scared person inside.'"
'Stupid! Don't tell him that!'
'Too late, Shuuichi.'
"Something about you being afraid to take Shadow because you were worried something would happen to you or her and, y'know, you'd be heartbroken or whatever. I almost bought it. I mean, it was actually believeable, the way you constantly found some lame excuse not to have sex with your own girlfriend."
"That's sweet," Shadow said to Hiei.
"But," Youko continued, ignoring her, "you apparently just decided that lust overpowers love. And you're not scared anymore."
"It's not lust and I'm not scared," Hiei snapped. "I love her. And remind me to whip dear Shuuichi's ass for saying all the crap about me being tender and scared."
"Yeah yeah yeah... But you're a demon, Hiei."
"I know."
"So even if you 'love' her, it's in your nature to appreciate sex, right? That was what you realized. It's in your nature to want to have sex with something like her."
"Something? Thank you, fox," Shadow muttered. Again, she was ignored.
"You've been blinded all this time by human notions. What if you were hurt? What if you died? Where would that leave her? But then... you realized... if you die having loved this girl and never had sex with her, just because you were worried about dying, then you were pretty stupid. I believe the saying is 'enjoy life while you can,' right? So, by all means! Screw her silly while you have the chance! For all you know, you'll die next week."
Shadow's eyes widened. "Screw New Year's Day! I want sex NOW!"
"GOOD MOVE, YOUKO!" Eclipse snapped.
Yusuke cracked up laughing at the fox's inspirational speech. Kuwabara looked like he was going to melt into the ground and never be seen again (God knows it would improve the world drastically).
"I hate you, Youko," Hiei told him, shaking his head with a weird smile on his face. "But the sad thing is, all that shit was true."
"So are you still going with all that crap about knowing each other first so there wouldn't be surprises, Shadow?"
"What about knowing each other?" she asked, gazing at Hiei. "Surprises are good!"
Eclipse shrieked. "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE? YOU BRAINWASHED THEM!"
Youko stood, grabbing Eclipse's shoulders. "I've got Shuuichi thinking, too. Maybe he'll jump you tonight once everyone else is gone."
"Yikes!"
Youko swept her off her feet. "I actually do like Shadow better, but you're still rather pretty."
"Why thank y-- HEY! DON'T YOU FLATTER ME!"
He kissed her.
"Damn, man," Yusuke muttered. "This sucks. No, scratch that. If it sucked, I'd be a lot happier."
Eclipse nearly clawed out Youko's eyes so he would let her get breath in her lungs before he continued kissing her passionately, ignoring Kurama's complaining and screaming and jumping up and down in the back of his mind.
Shadow was watching them, amused. "Damn, Kurama's gonna be pissed."
"Eclipse is liking it, though. Look at her," Hiei pointed out, snickering.
"Yeah... The fox is gonna have to vamoose soon, though, cuz her parents said they'd come out to check on us after a bit."
"What!" Eclipse yelped, shoving the fox away. He dropped her and she fell on her ass. "Ow!"
"When I went in to get the hot dogs and stuff, your mother said she might be out in a little bit to see how we were doing. Of course, you and I both know that means 'I'll be out in a little bit to make sure you aren't all making out around the fire, okay dear?'"
"Well..." Youko said, sitting down next to Hiei, "I'll let the little twit out the second I catch wind of them coming."
"You're such a rat," Shadow said.
"Aw, you know I just want to spend some quality time with Hiei here, right?" He put his arms around Hiei's shoulders and leaned close, whispering something in his ear. Hiei glared.
"I don't care!" he snapped.
"Care about what?" Shadow asked curiously.
"He says he's a better kisser than Shuuichi."
"As is to be expected, with several hundred years of experience over him," she pointed out. "I bet Hiei's a better kisser too."
"I doubt it," Eclipse said. "After all... Kurama is Youko... so, I mean... he knows the stuff Youko knows."
"But he's not me," Youko pointed out. "Just being me makes everything better."
Hiei snorted. "You're so full of yourself."
"Aw, you know you love me, Hiei," the fox teased.
"Yeah, when Hell freezes over," the fire demon snapped.
"No, you love me now. Because you're just all full of love, right?"
"Fuck you."
"You want to? Now, why would you offer something like that to me, the annoying kitsune in the back of your best friend's head, and you won't offer it to your own girlfriend?"
"Shut up, Youko."
"But you offered," the fox insisted, nuzzling his cheek against Hiei's and making him cringe. "C'mon, Hiei. Let's go. Shadow can join us if she wants."
Shadow grabbed his ear, got off Hiei's lap, and dragged the fox over to the next nearest person. She dropped him on Yusuke's lap and quickly returned to her boyfriend while Yusuke nearly shoved the fox into the fire in horror.
"I'm treated too well around you people," the fox muttered.
"Hey, well pardon me for not liking having other guys on my lap," Yusuke snapped.
"And pardon me for not wanting to have a threesome with you, you pervert," Shadow growled.
"Fine," he pouted. "I'll kidnap Eclipse and Shuuichi will never see her again."
Short pause.
"Oh well," Shadow said.
"Thank you, Shadow!" Eclipse said. She flung a flaming marshmallow at her. Then another one at Youko. "Gimme my boyfriend back!"
He sighed. "Your mother's coming, anyways. You do know I'm just playing, right?"
"Yes, we know, you're a playful cute innocent little kitsune," Shadow said, "who will be dead in a second if he doesn't return to his human form. Cuz here comes Eclipse's mother."
Grudgingly, the fox returned to his human form and the redhead plopped down next to Eclipse.
"Sorry about that," he muttered.
"Quite alright," Eclipse replied, snatching his school jacket back and wrapping it around herself to make sure her mother didn't see her. Shadow grabbed her discarded black jeans and pulled them on, continuing to sit on Hiei's lap afterwards.
"Eclipse dear?" he mother said.
"Yeyyys?"
"Is everything okay out here?"
"Everything's fine," she said. "Why wouldn't it be?" We've just got a couple horny fire demons and a 'playful' kitsune out here... What's wrong with that?
"I don't know. Do you have everything you need?"
"Food-wise, yes."
"Well... Is there anything else you want?"
"Hey, what time is it?" Shadow asked, totally out of the blue.
"I don't know," the woman replied, seeming a little startled. Shadow nodded.
"Thanks." She searched Hiei's pockets.
"I don't have a watch."
"No, but you have a wallet," she said cheerfully, pulling said object out of his pocket. "And it's totally drenched."
"What!" He snatched it and went through everything. It was all drenched. "Oh well... The only important thing in there was money."
Shadow grabbed his wallet and went through it. "A picture of me! Hey! Where'd you get this? I never took this picture..."
"Of course you didn't, stupid! I took it."
"When? With what camera? And how did you get it developed without my knowledge?"
Hiei's head drooped to rest on her shoulder. "You're stupid."
"Well that's not very nice," Eclipse's mother noted.
"That's okay." Then she lowered her voice and added, "He'll pay for it later." He looked at her, confused. She just grinned and kissed him quickly.
"Oh... Well, anyways, Eclipse honey, do you have everything? Is there anything I could get you?"
Eclipse looked around at her friends. "I don't think there's anything, no..."
"Okay. I just wanted to check on you."
"To make sure me and my boyfriend weren't rolling around on the ground kissing and tearing off each others' clothes, I know, I know," Eclipse muttered.
Her mother looked utterly horrified by her choice of words, but quickly tried to compose herself. She laughed in what she hoped was an offhand way, but sounded obviously forced and nervous to the group. "Well, yes, that too... When do you think your friends will be going home?"
Shadow snorted. That was certainly an unprovoked, innocent question if she'd ever seen one herself.
"I was thinking midnight. Does midnight sound good to you guys?" Eclipse said, now intentionally antagonizing her mother.
"Midnight!" the woman screeched. Eclipse laughed.
"I was kidding. How does eleven sound?"
"Wait, wait, wait!" Shadow said. "It all depends on what time it is now!"
"Well we don't know what time it is!"
"Then we can't decide when we go home, because you could lower it to like, 9:30 and here it is 9:25 and we'd have to leave in five minutes!"
"You'd rather be home than here anyways!" Eclipse snapped, mockingly angry. "For OBVIOUS reasons!"
"Why thank you, yes, I know my boyfriend is more interesting than all of you put together."
"Jaganshi-san!" Eclipse's mother called over their arguement. Hiei looked up.
"Yes?"
"How old are you? My daughter says you teach at the school?"
"Taught. I'm 28."
"Oh my! Is it entirely appropriate for you to be hanging around with teenagers?"
Hiei stood up, making Shadow stand as well, and looked at Eclipse mother skeptically. "I could pass for sixteen easily. Ages are just numbers. I don't act 28, I don't look 28, therefore I'm not really 28. See my reasoning?"
"Um... Not exactly."
"I DO!" Shadow squealed. "But it's entirely unimportant." She spun around abruptly and pointed to Yusuke. "YOU have been withholding information!"
"What!"
She grabbed his wrist. "What is this!"
"... A watch..."
"And what TIME does it say?"
"Nine twenty-five."
"BO-YEAH!" Shadow cheered, dancing. "So we've got about an hour of quality friend time before I'm probably gonna high-tail it out of here with my boyfriend, right?"
"If you say so," Eclipse agreed. "So about ten thirty, Mother. And I promise all of us will stay fully clothed for the next hour."
Her mother still seemed hesitant to leave. As if on cue, everybody moved so they were equally spaced around the logs circling the fire. She nodded her approval and left.
"So how should we spend the next hour?" Eclipse asked as she and Shadow instantly reclaimed their positions on their boyfriends' laps.
"How about we place truth or dare?" Shadow suggested. "That's a nice, safe game."
"No it's not!" Kuwabara objected, instantly having images run through his mind of 'Hiei, I dare you to catch Kuwabara on fire' or 'Kuwabara, let's have the truth about your relationship with Yukina.'
"No," Kurama agreed. "It's not. You'll end up daring me to kiss Hiei again."
"Oh! Fox! Your faith in us is so stunning! Then I'd owe you a blowjob too!"
They were silent as they waited for the impact of those words to sink in to the three who didn't already know about Shadow's promise.
"Wait..." Yusuke said. "You said 'too'? Like... you already owe someone else one? And by the state of your relationship, according to Youko, I'm going to make a brilliant deduction. You're gonna high-tail it home with your boyfriend in an hour and suck him off for kissing fox-boy."
"Your mind is like a steel trap, Yusuke," Kurama commended. Kuwabara looked at the fire demons for a second, then dropped over in a dead faint.
"Kuwabara's so weak," Hiei muttered. "You would figure he'd be used to the thought of me and sex in the same sentence by now. But he just keeps passing out."
"Aw, cut him some slack, Hiei. He just doesn't want to think about a little prick like you having sex with a pretty, delicate girl like Shadow," Yusuke joked.
"We're not having sex yet," he said.
"And I'm not delicate," Shadow pouted, only to be ignored.
"You're just moving a step closer," Yusuke added, grinning.
"Apparently so."
"So are we playing truth or dare?" Shadow asked randomly.
"No," Hiei stated plainly. "You'll humiliate me."
"I wouldn't do such a thing, Hiei. You know that. You know I love you too much to make a fool out of you in front of all your friends."
"Bull," Hiei snapped.
"Fine," Shadow pouted, moving off his lap. "I'll just pout and sulk over here. Maybe I'll be a real bitch later and torture you."
"You probably will anyways."
"Oh, probably. But you know I'm a sadist. You should expect it."
"You're cruel and I hate you."
Shadow's jaw dropped and she huffed indignantly. "Fine! Jerk!"
"Oh!" Eclipse said suddenly, standing up. "We totally forgot!"
Everyone looked at her.
"Kurama and I are totally ditching you next year and we're going to America for school."
"WHAT?" Yusuke screamed.
"Exchange students!"
"Hey! That's awesome!" Shadow said, standing as well. "'Cause me and Hiei were just talking just now, and we decided that we'd like to take a vacation to America next year!"
"We were? We did? Was I asleep through this?" Hiei asked.
"You can't totally ditch me here with Keiko and Kuwabara!" Yusuke complained.
"Damn straight we can," Shadow snapped, pointing. Then she smiled. "Maybe you can babysit Karasu for us!"
"HELL NO!"
"Oh, he's not that bad. With Kurama in America, he'll probably be a sulking mess anyways. He'll probably end up going back to Makai and seeking out some comfort in the form of torturing innocent civilians and raping maidens and stuff, y'know?"
"He's gay. He wouldn't be raping maidens," Hiei reminded.
"That's what the 'and stuff' was for, got it? Don't you correct me on my grammar young man!" Shadow snapped. Hiei shook his head, but didn't say a word.
"What about your dog?" Yusuke asked. "If you go to America, she'll have to stay here, won't she? They won't let a dog on a plane or nothin'."
"She'll be fine."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes, quite."
"So you guys would be gone for like, an entire year?"
"Yes."
"So, like... You guys will leave, and you'll come back and be eighteen years old, and Kurama will be nineteen, and..." Yusuke paused. "Damn. I'll be eighteen too, then."
"What's with that, anyways?" Shadow asked randomly, looking at Kurama. "How come we're in the same grade as you, and we're 17 going on 18 and you're 18 going on 19?"
"Actually I'm not quite 18 yet, and it's because the authoress screwed up way back in her first story. Okay? So it's not like I failed a grade or anything."
"Well... if you're not 18 yet... then you won't be 19 when you graduate... So you're safe. She didn't screw up as bad as we all assumed she did there for a minute when I actually bothered to pick apart the story more than the fans do," Shadow said.
Hiei cleared his throat. "We're not supposed to talk about the story."
"Oh yeah! Yeah, totally forgot about that whole... y'know... non-existent thing... Right. I'm cool now. So, truth or dare?"
"NO!" Hiei and Kurama snapped.
"What is your obsession with that game!" Hiei asked.
Shadow shrugged. "I wanted to dare Yusuke and Kurama to kiss."
"I'm not kissing another guy!" Yusuke whined.
"Why not?" Hiei asked. "I did it."
"Because you're totally pussywhipped!"
"Hiei is about as far from pussywhipped as you can get!" Shadow snapped. "He just doesn't have anything better to do than listen to me."
"He's pussywhipped. Don't argue. Don't you want him to be pussywhipped? Aren't you a domineering freak?"
"A dominatrix?"
"Whatever."
"I'm not a dominatrix. I would never hurt Hiei."
"Yeah you would," Hiei muttered.
"Shut up!"
"See there? Verbal abuse!" Eclipse accused. "You're damaging his psyche and his self- esteem and all that psychological shit!"
"Oh, Hiei's already got a damaged psyche from being tossed off a floating island, stabbing his own hand, cutting off his own arm, nearly dying more than once throughout his life, and having a sister," Shadow dismissed. "And from being Mukuro's right hand man. And having sex with her. I bet that really screwed up his mind."
"You don't even know her!"
"You had sex with her. That's all that matters to me."
"And my sister has nothing to do with my so-called damaged psyche!"
"Changing the subject. Clearly shows that you have emotional scars from your sexual encounters with Mukuro. Did she rape you, Hiei?"
"Don't you even start interrogating me about my previous sex life again! You've accused me of so many things, I've lost count! According to you, I was a prostitute, an easy target in bars, weak and submissive, raped, a total sex fiend who jumped on passersby, and so many other things I can't even remember, but that was because I was drugged, right? And this all happened in another dimension or something, considering how I was also a virgin all this time too, according to you."
Shadow was grinning and glowing with pride.
"How can you be a virgin and get raped and whore yourself off on street corners at the same time?" Yusuke asked.
"In my world, it's possible," Shadow said.
"That's a definition of virgin I wasn't previously aware of," Kurama muttered.
"So that means that all your insisting you're a virgin could really mean that you were a whore when you were in Makai?" Hiei accused.
"I was barely through puberty when I came here! I don't think demons want to screw pre-pubescent midgety little halfbreed girls!"
Hiei snorted. "True enough. They do, however, want to screw mature, beautiful girls like you."
"I know. That's why, if I ever go to Makai, you'd damn well better have some way to let them know I'm not free game."
"Yeah, I'm sure I can find a way no problem."
"Excellent. Now, what were we talking about before? Oh yeah! Truth or dare!"
"NO!"
"Spin the bottle?"
"NO!"
"I never?"
"NO!"
"Strip poker?"
"NO!"
"Not like you have much to take off anyways," Yusuke felt the need to add. Shadow looked at herself.
"Sure I do. But I'm not gonna get naked in front of you."
"Why not? You burned off all my clothes that one time. It'd only be fair payback."
"Yeah. Yeah, it'd be fair payback. Then I'd murder you," Hiei said.
"Damn, but aren't you the protective one?"
"Fall off a bridge."
Yusuke was all ready to start up another fight with Hiei, but Shadow jumped in and flung a flaming marshmallow at him. He dodged it - barely - and started complaining.
"Damn, man! You're annoying! Hiei, can we go home?" Shadow asked.
"I'm not keeping you here."
"I know. You just wanna get home so I can..." She leaned close to him and licked his ear.
"Ew!" he complained. "I don't want you to lick my ear!"
"I was using your ear as an example. I wasn't about to lick your crotch."
Yusuke snorted and burst into laughter. "You two are a riot."
"Am not," Shadow protested. "A riot has a lot of angry people with sticks."
"He means you're funny," Kurama informed her. She got an enlightened look on her face.
"Ohh! Aren't I the genius!"
Hiei snorted. "Yeah, like hell."
"As I was saying before, can we leave?"
"And as I told you before, I'm not keeping you here."
Eclipse lunged over the fire and tackled them.
"I am!"
"Argh! Get off me, you freak!" Shadow complained. "You just don't want me to go home because you want me to stay here!"
"DAMN STRAIGHT!"
"Well fuck you! Now I'm gonna leave just because you don't want me to!"
"No, you're gonna leave because you want to hear Hiei moan your name!"
"That too, bitch!"
"Well fuck you, bastard!"
"I'm a girl!"
"Like hell!"
"She's a girl," Hiei assure Eclipse from under both of them. "Could you guys get off me?"
"YOU SAY I'M A GIRL THEN YOU CALL US BOTH GUYS!"
"Would you ladies please get the hell off me before I pick you both up and toss you in the fire? Is that better?"
They were up in a flash.
"Anyways, it's 10:30!" Shadow snapped, grabbing Yusuke's wrist and looking at his watch.
"It's actually about 10:12..." he corrected. She hit him.
"Shut up! That's only 28 numbers away!"
"Eighteen," Kurama corrected.
"Shut up!"
"Jeesh Hiei. She must be nervous," Eclipse said.
"Like hell I am!" Shadow snapped. "Come on, Hiei! We're going home!"
"How? I came with Kurama from the school."
"I came on my motorcycle from the school." She smiled sweetly at Eclipse. "Lovely party, this was. But me and my skantily clad sexiness has to go home and perform sexual favors for my hot, muscular boyfriend and his... Mr. Happy. Ja mata ne!"
"Get lost, ya unappreciative jerks!" Eclipse snapped, shaking a threatening fist at them as they left.
"Hiei!" Yusuke called, jogging to catch up. "I'll be expecting a report tomorrow. I'll call you first thing in the morning."
Yusuke's face was mashed between a slap and a punch, and he was lucky to escape with only a bloody nose.
"I'm still calling him tomorrow," he muttered as Kurama squatted beside him to see how he was.
"I'm going to ask him in person," Kurama said, "just so I can end up like you."
"Awesome idea. But he won't hit you. You can credit it to Youko, and he'll just whip the fox's ass next time he sees him."
"Youko does have his uses..."
Eclipse, meanwhile, was in front of the house as Shadow pulled her motorcycle out of the garage.
"Bye!" she said, suddenly a happy person unstead of calling them unappreciative jerks. "Bye-bye! Have fun! Don't get diseases! Don't choke! Don't do it while Karasu's in the house! Make sure the windows are shut and the curtains are drawn incase Karasu decides he wants to watch anyways! Don't get pregnant! Bye-bye! Have fun! Ta-ta! I wanna know all about it tomorrow! Good-bye! See ya! Ta-ta! Adios! Ciao! Sayounara!"
"Gods, give me speed," Shadow muttered. Hiei tightened his grip around her, predicting imminent 150 mph speeds. He was right. They tore off, doing a wheely and nearly dumping Hiei on his ass, then zooming down the street at about 125 mph.
Yusuke and Kurama were standing on either side of Eclipse, watching them vanish down the street. Kuwabara was on Kurama's other side, hands in his pockets in a grumpy manner. Yusuke sniffled.
"Why do I feel like I just sent my kids off to their first day of kindergarten?"
"Because you're a loser," Eclipse told him. Yusuke flung his arms around Kurama.
"They're just growing up so fast! It's heart-wrenching! I remember when I used to taunt them and have them furiously deny they even liked each other! Now they're all grown up and having oral sex!"
Kurama nearly choked on his laughter, but managed to keep it to a muffled snicker. Eclipse bopped Yusuke on the head.
"Get off my boyfriend you freak!"
Kurama kissed her gently. "We should be going, too. My mother's probably starting to worry."
"At least that's reasonable. My mother thinks we're gonna have sex every time we're both out of her eyesight."
"And my mother wouldn't notice if I had an orgy in the living room," Yusuke said joyfully. "Okay! Let's go! I need to sleep."
And so, Kurama, Kuwabara, and Yusuke piled into Kurama's car and he drove off to return them all home. I'd say he drove off into the sunset, y'know, for a nice, lame ending like that, but it was 10:30 at night, mind you. The sun had already set.
...And this, my friends and loyal fans, is where I end this story.
THANK THE GODS IN HEAVEN ALMIGHTY! I'M FREE!
This is my life's biggest accomplishment. And I am not kidding. (How sad is that?)
See? What'd I say? Perverted.And just a bit of trivia: The things the girlswere saying while they were filling up the balloons behind the house... Most of them are things Eclipse and I were saying when we were filling up water balloons. That's what inspired this chapter. We were having lots of fun. We went straight inside and I started writing this on her computer after we'd dried off and such.
And that's it for this story. I haven't worked on the next one since like... a while ago. The last time I updated or something. I'll post it whenever I feel oh so inclined. HAHAHA! Like, in two weeks! When I finished it! Muwahahaha!
Ja mata!
-SJ