This is my first attempt at a Jak and Daxter fanfic. I was inspired by some of the other writers here (coughjemisarddanddemyriecough) into taking a chance. This is all AU, quite obviously. Jak and Daxter belong to Naughty Dog. No infringement of copyright is intended or implied. I make no money from this.

I also would like to apologize in advance for any brain-exploding crack this idea may produce.

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Dax or Daxter?

By joeanne

Prologue: Breakout

Darkness settled on the troubled Haven City. Less than a mile away, the constantly raging war between the citizens of the dying city and the Metalheads would come to another uneasy truce, as the Krimzon Guard would retreat for the night.

But none of this conflict mattered to the lone figure standing outside the halls of Haven City Prison. "Two years, buddy. Two years is a long, long time. I hope you're still there or this is really gonna suck." The young woman who spoke these words sighed and tightened the shoulder straps on her backpack.

She appeared to have survived to her late teens only by the skin of her buckteeth. To call her lithe would have been kind, skinny more accurate. Paired with a shock of red-orange hair and blue eyes she had an awkward, if somewhat endearing appearance.

She kicked the tops of her boots against the ground, reassured by the hollow thud of metal and slipped on her special gloves. After adjusting her goggles over her eyes, she was ready to go.

She launched herself at the wall and with a loud thunk latched onto it. With determination in her eyes and her tongue sticking out of her mouth, she began to scale the wall. Muscles flexed underneath too tight skin as she hauled her body up the side of the wall. On and on she climbed until she reached her goal, an airshaft. The airshaft was large enough to crawl through but had a grate barring the entrance. Only four screws separated her from destiny.

Bracing one hand against the cool stone, she reached into her waistband for a screwdriver. It wasn't there. Frowning, she shifted and reached further into her pants. It was gone. "Damn it." She looked down. Yup, there it was, hundreds of feet below, glittering in the moonlight. "I hate you," she muttered. The screwdriver winked in the light again just to taunt her.

Her shoulders slumped. "Time for Plan B." She climbed up further along the wall until her upper body was above the grate. She planted her feet against the grate then pushed backwards. She extended her legs and kicked them into the grate. It budged slightly. Encouraged she did it again and again, each time the metal groaned at the impact. Finally, with one hard swing the grate fell off into the shaft.

"Oh yeah, I'm back in business! Was there ever a doubt? 'Course not, I'm the king, baby!" she cried. She scrambled into the airshaft, shoving the battered grate to the side. She settled into a sitting position and reached into her pants pocket. This time, what was supposed to be there was actually there, a map. The layout of the prison looked simple. In theory, she would be able to find her target in no time at all. "Right, nothing to it."

One hour later.

"Stupid, frigging outdated map." Bruised, sweaty and feeling not so fresh, she was one disgruntled wannabe hero. Apparently the "simple" layout was more deceptive than she had realized. In trying to make the map simple the mapmaker had neglected to mention things like furnaces, fans, random vats of glowing eco, the basic important things. Now, after an hour of stumbling around trying to avoid detection, she finally found a working platform. "Thank the Precursors," she muttered and climbed on. She pressed the "Up" button and waited.

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The platform took her to a large room filled with scientific equipment. "Ding, ding. Third floor, body chains, roach food, torture devices," she said. She noticed that the room had a single occupant, someone strapped to a table. She walked over to him. Maybe this guy could help her find her missing friend. "Hey buddy, see any heroes around here. You know about so tall, blond, good-looking, not as good-looking as me—Holy Precursors! JAK!"

The young man on the table was unconscious, and although the two years of separation had changed him, he was undoubtedly her friend. "Jak, buddy I know it's been awhile but you've really let yourself go. The hair's way too long and that goatee, yikes." Jak did not respond.

The young woman's face twitched. "Come on Jakkie boy, this is no time for games. We've gotta get out of here."

Jak moaned. She smiled.

"Yeah, that's it. Come on, I've been looking for you two years. Don't quit on me now, Jak. Say something, anything just this once!"

Jak's eyes snapped open. "I'm going to kill Praxxis!"

The young woman backed off. "Okay, that's a new one."

Jak leaned forward, tugging at his restraints.

The redhead moved over to the strap of metal digging into Jak's left wrist. "Just let me figure out how to undo these security locks—"

A scream ripped itself from Jak's throat as his skin paled and his eyes darkened to blackest ebony. His body seemed to enlarge, become more powerful and muscular. His arms ripped through the locks as if they were tissue. He then reached down and ripped the locks off his legs as well.

The demon that was once Jak launched himself from the table at the young woman. She fell backwards and tried to scramble away. She held her hand out in a placating gesture. "Hey, easy now buddy, remember, it's me, your pal Daxter, remember?"

The redhead flashed the demon an uneasy smile. The smile fell as the monster loomed over her. She closed her eyes and covered her head, awaiting the final blow. It never came.

"Daxter?" she heard a soft voice whimper. She risked peeking out from between her arms.

Jak was back to normal.

Daxter grinned. "Yeah, told you I'd come for you, didn't I?'

Jak smiled and grabbed the younger woman by the arms. He hauled her to her feet. "Daxter!" he said again and plastered his mouth against hers.

Daxter's eyes bugged out in shock. Her hands flailed against the stronger male's chest but he wouldn't let go. Finally Jak pulled away and she could breathe again.

"Heh, heh, I know you've been without female company the past two years but let me remind you that I'm not staying this way," Daxter said, backing away. "So don't get used to the sugar, baby." She cocked her hips and slapped her butt for emphasis.

Jak quirked an eyebrow.

Daxter frowned and rolled her eyes. She slipped the backpack off her shoulders and tossed some clothes at Jak. "Just shut up and change, renegade. We've still gotta get out of here."

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That's it for now. May be a one-shot or may be a series depending on laziness. Yes, the title is a reference to an Ed Wood movie. Hail to the nerd!