First off, to you lovely readers of mine, thanks! I sincerely enjoy getting review notifications in my inbox (and some of you even contacted me on your own, which made me grin). Especially Kiki, Surrounded, Ohlaf, and Rae for your support of my last little one-shot...this one was only written because of the great response you gave me on that. It really is one of my personal favorites...but you don't care about that! So on with the story!
I do not own Harry Potter...I wish I did :(
What Would I Do (Without You)?
The girl sitting in an overstuffed chair next to the roaring fire sighed in her sleep and turned over on her side. She had a forgotten mug of hot chocolate sitting next to the chair and a book resting on her stomach. Her lips slightly parted as she sighed and her book began to slide off her stomach and onto the floor as she shifted. The dark, messy haired boy in the chair next to her leapt up and caught the book before it hit the floor. He couldn't remember how long he had been watching her sleep and knew he should wake her so she could get to her dorm, but she looked so peaceful - he didn't want to disturb her.
Of course, that wasn't the only reason he didn't want to wake her. He couldn't study her the way he was now if she were awake. If she was awake, she would want to know why he was staring at her and would ask in a concerned voice if everything was alright while looking worriedly into his eyes. If she was awake, he couldn't take in all the beauty she possessed without even knowing it. If she was awake, all she would have to do is look into his eyes and she would surely see his soul, his heart, and the question that had been burning on his lips since their 5th year of school.
He knew it was late, and he felt what he was doing was wrong…but he couldn't give up this chance to see her as only he saw her. Unfortunately, she didn't know about it, and as far as he was concerned, never would. It wasn't so much that he was just scared to tell her of his longings, or that he was simply afraid of rejection - he knew that if he told her how he felt and she told him she didn't feel the same way that he would have nothing left to live for, to fight for.
Just then, the girl shifted again, but instead of sighing he heard her murmur, "Oh, Harry." He started, thinking that she had woken up and saw him there while he was lost in his thoughts, but then realized that she was still sound asleep. Then he was more confused than ever and started to wonder, Harry? She must be dreaming…why am I in her dream? What is she dreaming about?! He watched for more signs of life from her, but despite his best attempts to keep his eyes open he eventually dropped off to sleep.
Harry was in heaven. He and the girl of his dreams were flying high above the castle grounds on his Firebolt. He could feel the girl's arms around his waist grasping him tightly and feel her breath on his neck. He finally took the broom back down to the ground, bit by bit, and landed it next to the lake. They both dismounted and as he turned to face her, she put her arms around his neck bringing his face closer and closer to hers until their lips met in a perfect, soft, yet intense kiss.
He pulled away gently and said, " 'Mione, you don't know how long I've been waiting for this moment." He thought she had never looked more beautiful than she did with the moonlight on her face and love shining in her eyes.
"You know I've wanted this, too, Harry. Harry…? HARRY!"
He woke up with a sudden jerk and looked around wildly. He was still sitting in the chair in the common room (though the fire had gone out long before and it was rather chilly now, he noted), and Hermione was standing over him with a panicked look on her face. Now is not the time to find out I talk in my sleep, he thought as he surveyed the room. It looked strangely empty to him for a Saturday morning.
"Er…morning, 'Mione," he mumbled as he tried to read her face. "Didn't expect to stay here all night. Sorry, I should have woken you right away."
"Well, that's fine," she replied, "but everyone else is gone! We've missed the trip to Hogsmeade…and it's Valentine's weekend." She looked rather pouty. "How did they not see us and wake us up?"
Harry thought with guilt about the disillusionment charm he had put around them last night so that he could watch her in peace. More than once or twice Ron had come down from the dormitories to harass him for obsessing over their best friend.
"Oh…uh…I'm not sure." He turned bright red. "Sorry, guess we're going to have to find something else to do with the day."
"At least it's a beautiful day," she noted as she looked out the window. "Want to take a walk to Hagrid's and see if he's around?"
Finding Hagrid wasn't really what Harry wanted to do at that exact moment, but at least he would have the walk to spend time alone with Hermione. "Sure…I'll get changed and meet you down here in about 15 minutes, if that's alright."
"Alright," she replied and flashed him a smile before running up the stairs to the girls' dormitories.
When Hermione came down to the common room a quarter of an hour later, Harry looked at her with wonder. She had managed in just a few minutes to make herself more beautiful than he had ever seen her. He didn't notice that the winter coat she was wearing was bulky, and he didn't notice that her hair was still messy from sleep under her hat - he could only see the light in her eyes and the soft smile on her face. She briefly wondered what he was staring at, but then dismissed the thought as quickly as it came. Come on, Hermione…there's no way he has interest in you that way, she thought, sadly.
He flushed as he realized he was just standing there gawking at her and said, "Hey, er…you ready to go?"
"No, Harry, I'm just standing in the nice, warm common room with my winter clothes on for no reason at all," she retorted.
Harry smirked as he realized she was in one of her playful moods, which also happened to be one of her most endearing qualities. Not only was his best friend beautiful, brilliant, and kind - she also had a great sense of humor. Maybe this won't be such a bad afternoon, after all, he thought.
They were silent through most of the walk to Hagrid's hut, each lost in their own thoughts. The ground was covered in powdery white snow and the sky was a luminous cerulean blue. Finally, Harry broke the silence. "Doesn't look like he's home, does it?" The window shades were drawn at Hagrid's, and there were rather large footprints leading away from the door.
"No, but let's go knock anyway. Want to race to the door?"
"Hermione, I'm a Seeker! There's no way you could beat someone as fast as me. Why would you even want to try?"
She looked at him with a mischievous glint in her eye. "You're forgetting one thing, Harry James Potter. This isn't a quidditch match…and you don't have a broom!" With that she took off at full speed for Hagrid's.
At first, Harry just stood watching in disbelief as her scarf trailed out behind her as she ran. Then he came to his senses and started sprinting after her. "HEY!" he shouted at her retreating back, "That was cheating! Hey…"
Even though he didn't have a broom, it was indisputable that all his quidditch training had done Harry good. He caught up with Hermione just before she hit the door of the hut and tackled her to the snowy ground. "You…you," he sputtered, "you little cheat!"
She looked up at him, and he looked so indignant as he stared down at her that all she could do was laugh at him. As soon as he heard her laughing, he forgot how upset he got over the race and smiled. They were both panting hard from running and were sweating inside their warm winter clothes. Harry fully realized at that moment exactly where he was - and what he was doing for that matter. He was still sprawled out on top of Hermione. She had stopped laughing when he smiled and was just now looking up at him, with a strange look in her eyes. He wanted nothing more than to kiss her at that moment, but he was sure it wouldn't be too well received from Hermione.
They both were starting to get very uncomfortable with the position they were now in. "Uh…Harry? It's getting kind of hard to breathe here," she said, blushing furiously.
"Oh right! I mean, sorry - er, I don't know what I was thinking," he stammered. "Uh, here, let me help you up." With that, he leapt to his feet and held out his hand to her. She took it, gingerly, and let him pull her up to a standing position.
She still felt rather light headed from having him on top of her, though she told herself it was just from having the wind knocked out of her. What are you thinking? she yelled internally, he's just your best friend…okay, your very attractive, male best friend, but there's nothing there! She had been having the same argument inside herself for years, but kept telling herself there was nothing there because there was no possible way he could feel the same.
"Thanks," was all she said on the outside. She smiled at him and suggested they take the walk back to the castle. "Hagrid obviously isn't home, or he would have come out when he heard that racket we made." She took his hand in her mittened one, and they started to trudge along through the snow.
They were silent almost the whole way there, due in part to their easy familiarity with one another - they were so comfortable that they didn't have to speak to one another all the time. When they got to the doors, Harry offered, "Well, it is pretty much my fault that you got soaked. Want me to get you some hot chocolate?" He knew this was her favorite drink on a snowy day.
She grinned at the way he knew her so well. "That would be wonderful. Thanks. I'll be in the common room as soon's I've changed out of these wet clothes."
They parted ways as she went up to her dorm room and Harry went to the kitchen to see if he could round up Dobby to get her hot chocolate and some food, seeing as how they hadn't eaten lunch (or breakfast, for that matter). He found the little house elf, who was wearing (as usual) two different socks, a pair of children's snow pants, and an ill-fitting sweater made of cashmere. Where he gets this stuff, I'll never know, Harry thought.
"Mr. Harry Potter, sir! You have come to see us," Dobby exclaimed.
"Dobby, I was wondering if I could get some hot chocolate and something for lunch to bring back to the Gryffindor common room?"
"Oh no, sir! You must go and change out of those wet clothes! Dobby will bring you these things up to the room. You must go and change before you fall ill!"
"Oh…right, er thanks, Dobby," said Harry, who liked the house elf, but always felt a little uncomfortable being called sir and made a fuss over.
When Harry came down from the boy's dormitory, he saw Hermione sitting on a couch near the fire with a small table containing the items he asked for in front of her. She smiled brilliantly when she saw him come down. "Harry! This is a beautiful lunch…although I don't see why that poor elf had to bring it up all himself. It was quite a lot to carry, you know."
Harry winced, hoping he wasn't about to sit through a two hour lecture on S.P.E.W. and how he hadn't treated the elf like a proper being with feelings. "Well, ah - he sort of pushed me out of the kitchen. Said I had to get out of my wet clothes and all."
"Oh, I know you did, Harry. Nobody wants you to get sick. Anyway, I know Dobby rather enjoys his work here…for whatever reason. Come sit down," she replied, motioning to the seat next to her.
He sat down very close to her, as the table their food was on was so tiny. Harry's heart raced every time Hermione's arm brushed his or leg bumped him, and he was so nervous he barely ate anything at all. "Harry, what's wrong? You've barely touched any food and you haven't eaten anything all day." She looked at him with concern, thinking that maybe he really was getting sick from their romp in the snow.
"Oh, I'm fine," he lied. "Just…not really hungry, I guess. I dunno."
"Well, here," she said, offering him a strawberry from her hand, "these are delicious. I don't know where they found them this time of year." He gulped and let her put the fruit in his mouth, pretending to enjoy the strawberries' taste. All he could really think about was her hand near his mouth, the whiff of her scent he got as she came near him, and the way she was licking the strawberry juice off her fingers. She spotted him staring at her and thought the stare was because of her lack of manners. "Oh, I'm sorry…but he didn't seem to bring up any napkins!"
"Wha-? Oh! That's alright, I was just…just - well it doesn't matter, anyhow." Harry was now the color of the strawberry he had just eaten.
"Harry, honestly, are you feeling alright? You're acting very strange," she said as she leaned over him to put her cool hand on his forehead to see if he was running a fever.
He realized he couldn't go on like this. Regardless of how scared he was of ruining their friendship, Ron was right. It couldn't go on the way it was going now, either. He was, in Ron's words, becoming a "right bloody mess".
"No, 'Mione…I'm not okay. There's something I've been keeping from you. Something that I've wanted you to know but never had the strength or the bravery to tell you." Boy, did that sorting hat put me in the wrong place, he thought.
She gazed at him worriedly but didn't speak. She seemed to sense that it was something he needed to tell her in his own good time, whether that be 5 minutes or 5 days. "I have the best times with you, Hermione. You're always there for me when I need someone and you aren't afraid to tell me like it is. You're beautiful without trying and you're one of the most sensitive people I've ever met. To me, that is so important because of the lack of people I've known like you. You're my best friend."
She felt elated by how highly he thought of her, but she was taken down a notch by the ending of his speech. Best friend? she groaned, That's all I'll ever be to him. She gave a little hurt smile and hugged him, though, and said aloud, "Harry, you know I feel the same way about you. You're my best friend, too."
"No, I don't think you understand," he murmured. "What I mean to say is that, well…here," and handed her a box from out of his pocket. He didn't think he'd have the courage to give her the gift he bought for her for Valentine's Day, but now it was out in the open, and his heart was hers to crush.
She opened the box, and inside in a maroon velvet box with gold embroidery was a thin gold chain with a locket. There was a photo of the two of them sitting by the lake laughing together on one side and on the other he had gotten it engraved to say "I love you". There was also a note in the box that read: I realize this is probably a surprise to you - it kind of was to me as well when I first realized it. Now I know that nobody could be there for me the way you have or given me what I need. What would I do without you, Hermione Granger? Please say you feel the same way. Love, Harry. "I understand if -" But Harry never got to finish that sentence because Hermione was already smothering him in a hug.
He was horrified to see the tears on her face until he realized she was smiling widely as well. "Harry, I never thought…I didn't realize you felt that way for me, but I'm so glad that you do. I love you, too, Harry. I've been fighting it all along because I was so afraid you didn't feel the same! Thank you so much…help me put it on?" She held out the necklace with a small grin and held up her hair so it wouldn't get tangled. He leaned in close to her to clasp the necklace around her neck, and when he got it on he saw the look of adoration she was giving him.
He took a deep breath, counted to three, and moved in to kiss her. It was like nothing he had ever felt before - just from one light brush of the lips. He felt his whole body trembling from finally getting what he had been wanting for over a year, and his heart was ready to jump out of his chest. He kissed her a second time, a little harder, a little more demanding, but no less tenderly. She didn't resist him, and that was how they spent the remainder of the afternoon.
"So tell me, Harry," Hermione said with a glint in her brown eyes, "was this what you were planning when you said we'd have to find something else to do with the day?"
"No," he replied honestly, "it was much better."
They talked and kissed until finally the fresh air they had gotten and the cozy warmth of the fire caught up to them. They fell asleep together on the couch - Harry slumped over the arm with Hermione laying in his lap with her arms encircling him.
Ron was the first of the Gryffindor students to return from Hogsmeade. He walked into the common room and saw something that made him double take, and then eventually smile. There was a dark, messy haired boy curled up on the couch with a pretty girl. He saw the necklace around her neck and the note next to her hot chocolate mug on the floor. "Good for you, mate," he said quietly with a grin and barred everyone from the common room until the boy and the girl awoke.