Golden eyes:

Author: essenceofthedark

Warning: This fanfiction contains yaoi (shounen ai, boyxboy, gay stuff, you get the point?) and incest. If you doesn't like it go away and please don't flame me for it, the normal procedure for flames that is described under the author's note will be used on all flames. If you do not know what yaoi or incest is, I take hereby no responsibility if you decide to proceed to read my story. The rating will maybe get higher longer out in the story.

Pairing: Inuyasha/Sesshomaru

Author's note: I'm here again, with yet another yaoi fanfiction, surprise surprise… not. Anyway this time it also contains incest and I just want to point out that I'm not a fan of incest, but as long as it isn't for real I can accept it. However I hope you will like this fanfiction and if I get any flames then I will laugh at them and feed them to my best friend, as all of you who have read my first fanfiction know… Anyway, this fanfiction was originally made for shinjitsu no shi, a site that's absolutely worth visiting for all fans of yaoi or yuri Inuyasha fanfictions… and you know what? This is actually the first fanfiction I ever started writing (except my quiz on quizilla). Oh and I really hope that you'll enjoy reading this story as much as I enjoyed writing it Oh and lots of thanks and hugs to 'the good grammar fairy' also known as my best friend which is helping me with my exceptional, extraordinaire, significant, incomparable bad grammar…

Disclaimer: I do not, and I repeat, NOT own Inuyasha or any of the characters so don't sue me please. However I what I DO own is this story and you don't dare take it and publish it as your own, just with a few changes here and there. Why? Because it's mine, that's right isn't it precious? Yes it is, and we will punish everyone that does so to us precious. Oh hrrm, don't mind us, just proceed to read the story

The disclaimer and the warning count for this and all future chapters.

Chapter one: Discovering something unexpected

Sesshomarus view

I could smell my hanyou brother Inuyasha in a distance far away from me. I knew that I should go, find him, and take what was rightfully mine, the Tessaiga, but today I felt merely content smelling his odour. I stood silent in a clearing in the woods with my eyes closed. As I stood there, memories came back to me, memories from when we both were children. I could see Inuyasha as the little pup he had been back then, running towards me with tears in his eyes, crying my name. I had asked what was wrong as I clutched him tightly to me, trying to soothe him and make him at ease. He had puffed that a bee had burned him and that it hurt so much. I almost smiled at the memory; we had been so young, neither of us had yet learned about half-breeds or the difference between humans and demons. Neither of us had known that someday we would be enemies. I let out a sigh, finding myself almost missing that time. Almost? No, I realised. I really missed that time. I took a firm grip on myself, what was I thinking? Why should I miss it? I found no answers to the question that day. A strong whiff of my half brother's scent came again, and I took great pleasure breathing it in. I knew I should stop this foolishness and get my father's sword, but it seemed that another part of me ruled my body, and so it happened that I didn't move.

Inuyashas view

I was walking through the wood with my friends, when I felt a familiar scent coming to me, and I knew my yokai brother was not very far away from us. I tensed up at first, knowing that there could be fighting any minute. When some time had passed I realised that it wasn't going to happen, though the scent was coming still closer and closer, but at a slow and steady pace. When I realised that it was us that were walking towards him and not the reverse, I almost stopped in my tracks. Kagome must have noticed because she turned around and asked if something was wrong. I mumbled something she didn't hear so she asked again. I sighed and repeated myself, human senses wasn't exactly sensitive. Long ago everything had been different, I had never had to repeat myself, even though I had spoken much lower than that. Long ago, when I still were friends with my brother. His scent were bringing back memories, memories from when we both had been young. Memories I thought I had forgotten. I could remember a spring when I was only a pup and my mother and father was still alive. Caring for me, with all the motherly and fatherly love a young pup could ever have wanted. And my brother. I'm not really sure, but I think that back then even he had cared for me, maybe even loved me, but it was so long ago and I had been so young, it was hard to remember. Oh, how I missed that time. I suddenly realised what I was thinking. What would my big brother have said if he knew that I missed the time when we had been friends? He would probably have said nothing, he was always so quiet, so still. As if he either was afraid of letting the world know his thoughts,or as if he were living in his own dream world. Maybe he just didn't care. I sighed and tried to tell myself that I would never miss being friends with him, the one who was trying to kill me, the one I was trying to kill. But I didn't sound entirely convincing even to myself.

My thoughts were interrupted by Miroku telling me that there had to be a very strong yokai nearby, that he could feel the presence. I looked at him. Humans, their senses were indeed insensitive. He had not noticed the presence before now! I told the baka that I already knew, that it was my brother, well half brother. I don't know why but the word half brother stung in my heart, and it was not fear nor anger, nor hate. Anyway, when I said so I think everyone must have thought I had gone crazy and Sango asked that if I already knew about it, why hadn't I told them. I didn't answer. I couldn't answer. It was as if something inside me wanted to keep his scent, to keep him, for myself just a little longer. But why would I do that? I found no answer there and then.

As we continued walking through the wood, Kagome's sense of the jewel-shard kept leading us closer and closer to the place I knew my brother were. As we came closer and closer, everyone grew a little tense. I did too. Especially me, I think, after all it's me he wants to kill. Saddened by the thought I continued to follow my friends.

Sesshomarus view

Surprisingly, my little brothers scent slowly came closer. As if he didn't mean to attack me at all, which was remarkable in itself, considering that I had tried so many times in the past to kill him. So many times. The words hit me like lightening from blue sky. So many times and I had never succeeded. Those words seemed to sum up my whole existence since we had become enemies. The words stung in my chest, how could only words sting so much? They did not have claws, or teeth for that matter. I didn't understand how something that I had thought were harmless could be so dangerous, so injurious. I had known for a long time that words could do this, and I had often used that to my own advantage, but I had never experienced it myself. Why had I never succeeded? That was a question I had asked myself so many times.

First after a while did I notice his… friend's… scents too. I cursed myself for my sloppiness, I had been so engaged with my brother's scent that I hadn't noticed it before now. I awaited patiently the fight I knew would come. I was in no hurry, and I must admit that I didn't exactly anticipate the battle that would eventually be fought by us. Why? Again that question, why. To be honest I don't know, after all I only want the Tetsusaiga, right? Right?

As my little brother and his fellows emerged from the woods in front of me, I was fully prepared. My brother came forth, beautiful as always. Beautiful? What was I thinking? I couldn't possibly think that he was… that, now could I? Now, that was a disturbing thought. I shook it off my mind as Inuyasha stopped, measuring me with those golden eyes that were so much like my own. I tensed, when he looked at me that way I always felt this strange feeling in my stomach. It was like I had swallowed something that was still alive and it twisted and turned still in my stomach.

"Brother" I greeted him chilly, "what brings you here?" Inuyasha motioned for his wench to stay in the background. This annoyed me in a strange way. What did I care if he wanted to protect his wench? "I could ask you the same, Sesshomaru" I nearly flinched as he spat out my name as if it was poison. It hurt me, strangely enough, more than any wounds I had ever obtained. True, I had not received many wounds throughout my life; I was much too powerful than that, but the few I have had, had been painful enough. However, I did not let the hurt show in my face.

Inuyashas view

As I emerged from the wood with my friends I saw him. He stood there, ice-cold and beautiful as ever. Beautiful? I shook the thought away, I couldn't possibly… could I? No, I couldn't, I told myself as I stopped and looked at him. He just stood there, measuring me with those golden eyes that were so like my own. I could not help but feel a bang of disappointment as I saw him stare at me so unemotional. Disappointment? Why would I be disappointed? He hadn't looked at me without contempt since we were little. As he greeted me in that cold voice I finally came to my senses and spat back, saying his name as poisonous as I could, but it hurt me to say it, strangely enough. I tried to shake of the regret I felt when I had said it. For a moment he was totally still, and I wondered why he didn't move. "What I'm here for is none of your concern, hanyou," he said then, as regally as any king would have. There and then I admired my brother, even though the word hanyou stung in my chest. How could he always stay calm like that? I wondered. Even a glacier must be warmer than him, I thought. "Then you should perhaps just leave us alone" I said mockingly. Of course he would never do that, it was like second nature for him to attack me whenever he had the chance. I secretly wished it had been different. I know I've often enough wished to see him dead, or so I have told my friends. Deep inside I think I've never meant it. Not really. "Tell me what you're doing here, hanyou" he said coolly. There he said it again. Hanyou. The word hit me again, hanyou. It hurt as hell, but I would rather die than show my feelings to that, to… my big brother. "There's a Shikon fragment, somewhere close by" I murmured. Strangely enough I did not want to provoke my brother any further and I sort of felt obliged to tell him, it might have had something to do with his demanding voice, but I don't think so. When he heard my answer he just nodded and left. "Perhaps I will, then" he said as an answer to my previous question.

I blinked as he disappeared into the forest. What was going on? I had been sure that there would be a fight, but instead of attacking us, he had just turned away and left. I was confused. Was he ill? I hoped not, he was my big brother, he had always been there, would always be there. He was the only thing I knew about that hadn't changed in these well past fifty years. If something should happen to him… I dared not finish the thought. First of all, I had used over half my life to kill him, I could do just fine without him, right? Right?

Sesshomarus view

As I walked into the forest with my back to my little brother, I felt a pang of regret. I tried to shake off the feeling. I didn't want to stay close to that, to that… to my little brother, did I? Even if, and to me it seemed quite impossible, I had wanted to stay, there would have been a fight. And right now, I didn't want to fight anyone, least of all my brother. Inwardly I cursed myself for having such thoughts, but that didn't make the thoughts or my feelings go away.

Why was I acting so strange? It wasn't like me just to turn away from anything, least of all from what I wanted. I questioned my own behaviour, and suddenly a suspicion started to form in the back of my head. The thought wasn't pleasant. I couldn't possibly be… now could I? Just the thought was ridiculous, wasn't it? I tried to chase away the thought, but it just kept on burning in the back of my head. Like an angry bee in my ear, and I didn't like it at all. I must be wrong, I kept telling myself, but it sounded frighteningly unconvincing in my own ears. So I questioned my own behaviour of lately and myself. Had I softened or become weaker lately. I wanted the answer to my own question to be no, but why did I then abandon a fight I knew would have come if I had stuck around any longer?

Inuyashas view

I sat down heavily with my back to a tree and thought about my encounter with my big brother. Sesshomaru. I had felt some kind of loss when he had just walked away so suddenly. It felt like a black hole in my stomach, threatening to suck me in and devour me. I had other feelings too, feelings I hadn't felt in a long time, I had almost forgotten how it felt. Why did I feel like this? It almost felt like when first time I had seen Kikyo. Kikyo. It had been long since I had been in love with her. Another memory came to my mind. The time I had finally been able to see Kagome as an individual and not as Kikyo, when I had realised that I loved her. I do love her, don't I? I questioned myself. Of course I do, was my own answer, but I noticed how defensive and false it seemed to be. Maybe I do not love her, I realised. I liked her very much, but it could hardly be called love anymore. Once it might have been, but no longer. My stomach turned queasily. If I associated those feeling with those I felt for my brother… No, I told myself, there is no way that it meant what I thought it did. He is my brother for kamisama sake, I muttered under my breath.

Suddenly I heard Kagome, who sat down next to me, asking me if I had said something. I looked up at her stunning beauty, but it didn't thrill me as it used to. I told her I had said nothing, but I knew I was blushing. I did not want to lie to her, but I could not, would not, tell her what I just had been thinking. She smiled at me, but her eyes told me that she didn't quite believe me but was willing to let it pass for now, and then she told me that dinner was ready. Quite apathetic and lost in my own thoughts I started to pour cup after cup with delicious ramen into me. When everyone had had their fill, the others started to chat while I returned to my own thoughts. I was so absorbed in them that I didn't hear that Sango came and sat down beside me. And therefore I almost jumped the air when she spoke to me. Angry with myself for not paying attention, I growled to her, asking what she wanted. She then asked me what exactly had happened earlier that day, when we had run into Sesshomaru. I mumbled something incoherent, avoiding her gaze, hoping I really didn't have to explain. To be honest I did not know myself. That he had turned away without a fight was most unusual, and if I hadn't seen it with my own eyes I would never have believed it. Unfortunately, Sango wasn't going to give up that easily, she started to pour questions about our strange encounter over me. Suddenly I decided that I had had enough of her nagging.

I stood up suddenly, causing Sango to give a yelp of surprise. I yelled something like, 'I don't know' at her before jumping up on a branch in a tree close by. Poor Sango, she probably didn't know what had hit her. I sighed and let the pictures from our encounter with Sesshomaru go through my head again, just like in those things Kagome called movies, and I closed my eyes.

To be continued

Thank you for reading this and I hope you will all review… Constructive criticism is most welcome.