AN- Lots of stuff I have to credit in this chapter… I Will Survive… I have no idea who wrote the song but I stole the jail scene from The Replacements… I'm Mad (Are We There Yet) is from the greatest cartoon show of all time, The Animaniacs… I WILL have more songs from them also… that song was written by Roger Rogel… and Be Prepared is from the Lion King for those of you who don't know… and you all should. I have some crazy ideas in this chapter… the biggest is the riddling Intellect Devourer. The unanswered riddle is that it was stuck on the chicken's foot. My 'faithful' reviewers… I'm not a review Nazi but come on… I've been threaten, beaten, stalked and had burning dog-doo sent to my house for not updating this and I'm doing it… kay.

Firilya- I wish that was a fighting style in the game too. The guards should be trying to save the city but hey, in the game they just get in the way so I thought that in the musical they'd be even less useful. :-), I'm glad that you (the only person that didn't threaten to kill me) reviewed it. Thanks, I'll have to give you something… maybe a hug. (hugs) there, know read this chapter. :-).

The sound of a single harmonica rang over the cell where our six heroes (and yes heroines too, Sharwyn) idly wasted away there precious time.

"Boddy," Sharwyn said with her teeth clenched, "I swear if you don't stop playing that damn… thing… no proctologist will be able to retrieve it."

Boddy ignored the comment and continued to play.

"Just leave my boy alone," Grim said as he did one handed push-ups, "If you don't I'll see that you meet my Lord…"

"Of Death," Daelen finished the threat, "Two Hundred thirty one… two hundred thirty two," he said pointing at the wall.

"What th' hell ya doin'?" Tomi asked as he rolled off of his cot.

"Counting the bricks… it's an Uthgardt meditation technique."

"You guys can't ev'n figure out how ta shave," Tomi said, "But ya can d'velop meditat'ns…what a backwards so'ciety."

Daelen clenched his fist and took a sharp step toward the Halfling but was stopped by Linu's soft hands. "Come on guys… let's make the most out of this situation."

"And what would you suggest," Sharwyn said wanting to watch the Halfling get beaten in a pulp, "Perhaps we should pray?"

"That's such a great idea… I'll start." Linu said.

"Oh God you've got her started." Boddy said then returned to playing.

"I said I was STARTING!" Linu said with thunder under her tongue. Quiet filled the room… even Boddy's playing,

"Hail, Holy Queen, Mother of Mercy, our life, our sweetness and our hope.
To thee we cry, poor banished children of Eve.
To thee do we send up our sighs, mourning and weeping in this valley of tears.
Turn then most gracious advocate, thine eyes of mercy towards us,"

Linu looked up, "Did you hear her?"

"No," Sharwyn said.

"She's her," Linu said reaching her hands up.

"I think you're…" Tomi started to say but was silenced by an invisible power.

"Your Goddess must be powerful to silence the noisy one," said Grim as he stood up in partial reverence.

"Oh she is… what's that Milady," Linu said to the still air, "I will do as you command." Linu fell to her knees as the presence that filled the room left. "I have it… she has spoken to me."

"Tell us what she said," Boody said.

"It better not be another song," Tomi said checking to make sure the Elven Goddess hadn't done anything to his voice.

"As a matter of fact…" Linu said as she stood up and faint music began behind her.

"At first I was afraid.
I was petrified.
I kept thinking I could never live
Without you by my side.
But then I spent so many nights
Just thinking how you'd done me wrong.
I grew strong.
I learned how to get along."

Sharwyn started to smile, "I think I know this one…" and she sang with the cleric.

"And so you're back from outer space.
I just walked in to find you here
Without that look upon your face.
I should have changed my stupid lock.
I would have made you leave your key
If I'd have known for just one second
You'd be back to bother me.

Oh now go.
Walk out the door.
Just turn around now.
You're not welcome anymore.

Weren't you the one
Who tried to break me with desire?
Did you think I'd crumble?
Did you think I'd lay down and die?
Oh not i."

Daelen and Boddy joined in…

"I will survive.
As long as I know how to love
I know I'll be alive.
I've got all my life to live.
I've got all my love to give.
I will survive.
I will survive."

Grim looked around and through his hands up, "How's this helping?"

"Just try it," Linu said.

"Sure… what do I have lose dignity?" Grim started to sing…

"It took all the strength I had
Just not to fall apart.
I'm trying hard to mend
The pieces of my broken heart.
And I spent oh so many nights
Just feeling sorry for myself.
I used to cry.
But now I hold my head up high."

Everyone looked at Tomi.

Tomi said, "I ain't singin' that corny song…Let me out! Guards…they're all singin'… GUARDS!"

The five began to sing some more…

"And you'll see me with somebody new.
I'm not that stupid little person
Still in love with you.
And so you thought you'd just drop by,
And you expect me to be free.
But now I'm saving all my lovin'
For someone who's lovin' me.

Oh now go.
Walk out the door.
Just turn around now.
You're not welcome anymore.
Weren't you the one
Who tried to break me with desire?
Did you think I'd crumble?
Did you think I'd lay down and die?
Oh not i.

I will survive.
As long as I know how to love
I know I'll be alive.
I've got all my life to live.
I've got all my love to give.
I will survive."

Tomi touched the door and it swung open.

"GUYS!"

"I will survive."

"GUYS… THE DOOR…"

"I will survive."

"GUYS… WE CAN GO…"

"I will survive!"

"Hey… WE'RE FREE."

They all looked around as the music began to fade.

Sharwyn smiled and said, "We'll tell no one about this little debacle… we wouldn't want to here bard songs about us being imprisoned without a lock."

XOXOXO

Our heroes were now freed, and without any guards around, it would only require a little direction to get out of the prison…

"It's this way…" Daelen pointed as the group sat on the ground… "Come on we gotta get out of here."

The music begins as the barbarian clears his throat…

"Get up! It's late!

It's twenty minutes after eight

Everyone get up; it's time to go

Up and at 'em now

Come on; shake a leg

Have some juice and scrambled egg

On the floor and out the door

Let's get on our way."

Grim and Sharwyn stand up andas they head forward down the prison they start arguing…

Shar said, "Hey, watch out!"

Grim said, "What's the matter?"

"You almost knocked me off the ladder."

"No I didn't"

Shar : "Yes you did; I almost fell'

Grim: "Don't exaggerate."

"I'm not"

"Yeah, right"

"Are you trying to pick a fight?"

"Will you get out of my face!"

Shar said, "Well, you're always in my space"

Daelen steps in between the fighting pair and sings, "Hey get off each other's case

Because we're trying to get along."

Boddy looks in pack and sees just old bread and sings…

"I want pancakes

Or a waffle

This tastes awful

Is that all we've got?

Can't find my clothes

And I need to blow my nose

And my socks are full holes

And my shoelace has a knot."

Daelen sings to everyone

"Alright now that's enough

Everybody get your stuff

Because we're going out the door."

And with that the music stopped as they came face to face with a weird creature.

"Howdy y'all," the little beast said with a drag in his voice.

"Huh…" Daelen said.

"I see ya must be the brains of the outfit," the beast said.

Sharwyn said calmly in Daelen's ear, "That's an Intellect Devourer… their dangerous little buggers… I believe it's one of the missing creatures."

"So," the devourer said leaning on his elbows… I think they are elbows, "How 'bout we have a wee bit o' fun?"

"Sure," Daelen said, "What's your game?"

"Riddles… y'all up for it?"

Daelen shook his head, "What's the wager?"

"Your brain for my brain… alright."

"Alright… best of five." Daelen said and prepared his mind for the coming brain teaser.

"How can you avoid hitting your fingers when driving in a nail with a hammer?" the devourer asked.

Daelen scratched his head and looked at the group.

Boddy's eyes flared with life, "I know, I know… Hold the hammer with both hands."

"Correct," the devourer said coldly, "One, love… next riddle… Why did the bubble gum cross the road?"

"To get to the other side," Sharwyn said.

"Wrong. Pretty face but not much brains on that one," the devourer said.

"Ya can say that a'gain," Tomi said and dodge a quick slap aimed at his face by the bard.

"One to one… next riddle… What walks on 4 legs in the morning, 2 legs in the afternoon, and 3 legs in the evening?" The devourer asked.

Linu quickly said, " I know this one, my mother back home told me about the origin of this riddle. The great Wizard-King…"
"This ain't Jeopardy." The devourer spat.

"Oh sorry… I guess never got to answer a riddle before… A man - crawls as a baby, then walks on 2 feet, then uses a cane (3 legs) as an old man.

"Right… two to one… next riddle… What 5 letter word can have its last 4 letters removed and still sound the same?"

No one could figure this one out and the devourer said, "BUZZ…out of time… QUEUE, remove "UEUE", say Q. Q and queue are pronounced the same. Hahaha… stupid adventurers…"

"It's two to two, we can still beat you," Daelen said.

"Okay get this one right and you get me… Who makes it, has no need of it. Who buys it, has no use for it. Who uses it can neither see nor feel it?"

"This is a tough one…" Daelen said scratching his chin.

"Coffin." Grim said coldly, "The maker doesn't need it cause he has meet the Silent Lord… you buy it for your dead loved one, who meet my Silent Lord of Death and when you use it… you're dead… hopefully."

"Damn…damn, damn, damn," the devourer said, "It's not fair… it's six to one… I thought we said win by two… I can't… hey what the hell is that, is that Drizzt?"

Everyone turned and the smart little creature started to make a run for it.

Boddy pulled out his rope and twirled it around, "Not on my range little var-mint." And he tossed the rope with distinguished accuracy wrapping it around his target. "Gotcha."

"Good toss," Sharwyn congratulated.

"I can use it for more than just hog-tying… ya know."

"Are trying to come on to me?" Sharwyn asked.

"No… I don't…maybe… would you?"

"I'm flattered but…you're not really my type. How much money do make by the way?" Sharwyn asked.

"I'm not really… into it for the money…"
"Than it's a hell no… sorry, hon." Sharwyn said as they found their Stone of Recalls and returned to their general.

XOXOXO

Deep under the Temple of Tyr stood lines of 'Helmites' ready and prepared for the addressing of their leader. He wouldn't make them wait long.

"Now," Desther said over the quiet clerics, "with Nasher out of the way everything is going just as planned…"
Flinchy, one of the younger less bright (IQ- 2.5) said, "What are we going to do, take him soup?"

"No fool," Desther said, "We're going to let the plague kill him… and Ari too."

"Good plan," Sneaky, a female cleric with a quick wit but not much mental power either said, "Who needs a Lord?"

The two along with their 'silent partner', Ed sang, "No Lord, no lord, tralalalala."

"There will be a Lord…" Desther said.

"But you said," Flinchy said.

"I will be Lord. Stick with me and you'll never be broke again."
"Long live the Lord," Sneaky screamed.

The rest of the clerics joined in, "Long live the Lord, long live the Lord."

Desther began to sing…

"I never thought Clerics were essential

They're crude and unspeakably plain

But maybe they've a glimmer of potential

If allied to my vision and brain

I know that your powers of retention

Are as wet as a warthog's backside

But thick as you are, pay attention

My words are a matter of pride

It's clear from your vacant expressions

The lights are not all on upstairs

But we're talking kings and successions

Even you can't be caught unawares

So prepare for a chance of a lifetime

Be prepared for sensational news

A shining new era

Is tiptoeing nearer"

Flinchy interrupted asking…

"And where do we feature?"

Desther continued singing…

"Just listen to teacher

I know it sounds sordid

But you'll be rewarded

When at last I am given my dues

And injustice deliciously squared

Be prepared!"

Clerics sang out in joy…

"It's great that we'll soon be connected

With a king who'll be all-time adored"

Desther began to sing their instructions…

"Of course, quid pro quo, you're expected

To take certain duties on board

The future is littered with prizes

And though I'm the main addressee

The point that I must emphasize is

You won't get a sniff without me!

So prepare for the coup of the century

Be prepared for the murkiest scam

Meticulous planning

Tenacity spanning

Decades of denial

Is simply why I'll

Be king undisputed

Respected, saluted

And seen for the wonder I am

Yes, my teeth and ambitions are bared

Be prepared!"

The Clerics sang as the music and scene fade out…

"Yes, our teeth and ambitions are bared -

Be prepared!"