"I think you should have a talk with Bart."

Wally West, the fastest man alive, looked up from his coffee and right at Jay Garret. "About what?" he asked cautiously, not at all liking the original Flash's tone of voice.

"You know. /The/ talk. About girls and all that."

"/The/ talk? With /Bart? Isn't he a bit… does he even like girls?"

"Does the name Rose Wilson ring any bells?"

"Deathstroke's daughter? The one who went crazy and started calling herself the Ravager?"

"The one Bart has a crush on." Jay said, nodding.

Wally groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose between his fingers. "Don't you think Max would have covered this?" he asked desperately.

"Do you really want to bet on that?"

Wally sighed, shoulders slumping in defeat. "Alright, I'll talk to him. When does he-"

"He's upstairs right now. Finished his homework already." Jay said, pointing. His face was blank, but his eyes held a bit of mirth.

"I'm gonna get you for this." Wally muttered as he mounted the stairs.

(break)(break)(break)

Bart watched Wally with bemusement as the man tried to find a place to sit. The piles of books that covered every flat surface didn't help. "What are all these?"

"I'm trying to learn some other languages." Bart said, clearing a chair. "There were a lot of books at the library that I didn't understand and I wanted to. So, what's up?"

Wally cleared his throat. "We need to talk."

"If it's about the vice principal saying I was cheating," Bart began.

"No. It's not that. It's… erm. You're taking health class, right?"

"Not till next semester."

"Ah. Well, this is kind of-"

"Oh god. We're having The Talk, aren't we." Bart said, his hand covering his mouth.

"Yeah."

"I already know all about that stuff, Wally. I read the /whole/ library."

"Oh. Well. Then you-"

"When I find someone I want to have sex with," Bart continued firmly, "and she wants to have sex with me, I will wear a condom. Beast Boy said I could use some of his, since he never gets to use them."

"Beast Boy?"

"He tried to have The Talk with me, Robin, and Superboy last weekend. You're doing much better than he did." Bart pulled his knees up to his chest and looked at Wally, grinning. "Did you know he turns a kind of purplish color when he blushes?"

"Oh-kay. I'm glad we had this talk."

"Me too."