Title: Miscommunication
Author: Scarbie
Rating: R (for language)
Summary: What if one of the goodies unlocked after beating the game was Leon understanding Spanish?

A/N: This story was inspired by the weird dream I had. I wish this game came out 2-3 years ago when my Spanish wasn't so damn rusty. If you see any Spanish (let alone regular) mistakes, please point them out! And QuickEdit pretty much botched my formatting.

Disclaimer: Resident Evil 4, Leon S. Kennedy, and Villager #1 are owned by Capcom.

LOAD GAME
(x)Leon-cleared

Choose a costume
(x)Normal (-)Special

Choose level of Spanish Comprehension
(-)None (x)Moderate
-

Leon stepped out of the police car and left the two asshole cops to watch out for meter maids. Seeing the house in the distance he decided that it would be a good place to start his search for the President's daughter.

The house was in such disrepair he figured it was abandoned so he didn't bother with knocking. Upon entering he could hear the roaring of a fireplace and see the flickering shadows. As he rounded the corner he saw that there was a man tending to the fire. Feeling better about being able to speak to a person he approached the man.

Leon pulled Ashley's picture out of his pocket and said, "Excuse me, sir. Have you seen this girl?" He waited for the man to turn around and acknowledge him. When the man faced him, Leon noticed that he didn't look very well. Maybe he had the flu... but that wasn't important.

"Sir, have you seen this girl?" He asked again, handing the picture over.

"¿Qué carajo estás haciendo aquí? Lárgate, cabrón!" (What the fuck are you doing here? Get out, you fucker!) the sickly yet surly villager said.

"Damn, I just asked a simple question," Leon thought, "there's no need to curse at me!" If it were a few years ago, Leon would have picked up the threatening tone of the man's words but not their meaning. He was grateful that he went through a brief cultural immersion program in Mexico. His Spanish wasn't the greatest but it got him by. He would put it to good use in this village. Starting right now.

"Pues, ví a tu Madre anoche, y ella decía constantemente, '¡Sí¡ Oh, Sí¡SI!'" (Well, I saw your mom last night and she was like, "Yes! Yes! YES!") Leon said while gyrating his hips.

"¿Qué dijiste sobre mi madre? (What you say about my mama?) the villager growled. The disheveled man was on Leon so fast that the agent couldn't draw his pistol. They hit the hard wood floor and the disgruntled villager pinned Leon down. The deranged man used his free hand to grab an axe that was in the back of his pants.

"¡Muerete, cabrón!" (Die, fucker!) were the last words Leon heard before the axe pierced his skull.

You Are Dead
a.k.a.The End

A/N (3/5/05): Much love to Pablosky for correctingan error in the Spanish!