It was early afternoon on one of those delightfully lazy days that even an important financial advisor/villain like Esmè couldn't refused, when all elements of business and terrorizing orphans just slid away into an ice cold glass of parsley soda.
Of course, that was because Olaf had once again lost track of the little brats. Well, no matter. They'd pop again eventually, and until then, she had her soda and the latest issue of In, her favorite magazine.
She flipped through the pages, taking note of all the latest styles. Good thing parsley soda was still in. Oh, and watermelon rind bracelets. She'd have to make someone stop at the nearest farmer's market for her.
Yes, yes, this was all wonderful. She took another swig and flipped the page.
And gasped.
There it was. The latest trend. The greatest trend. This was... in.
She quickly poured over the article.
The latest of the season: villainy and pitiful orphan-terrorizing is officially out, gone the way of ancient and conspicuously dead warlords. It just won't do anymore. This season's personality demands that of the movie The Sound of Music and Annie–the child's view. We give a grand salute to environmentalists and humanitarians world wide, those fashionably in folks who do their best to serve in style.
The magazine fell from Esmè's lap as her heart pounded. This couldn't be. This couldn't be at all. Though... she gingerly picked up a magazine... those satin habits were quite attractive...
Olaf strolled into the room where he had last seen his girlfriend. "Oh, EsmèWe can stop looking, now. We've just picked up word that the Baudelaires are–" He gave a piercing scream.
"I'm sorry, Olaf, but we must break up," Esmè said. "Dating unsanitary and greedy villains is no longer in."
"What are you wearing?"
Esmè twirled around in her nun outfit–the latest. She had oped for instantaneous delivery. "Don't you like it? Black habits are the only in way to feed little orphans cookies, or to plant trees on days besides Arbor Day. If you really don't want to break up with me, you can help! I found a lovely faux-fur monk's robe for you... oh, we shall be the best philanthropists, darling! Now, let's go find those charming Baudelaires and throw them a party!"
Olaf slowly backed from the room.
The End!