Title: Music to Your Ears
Author: Josephine
Email: G
Codes: SG1, others
Category: Humorous angst and drama
Summary: Somehow Muzak has started playing over the speakers, and no one can find out where it's originating from and no one can stop it.
A/N: This is in response to a challenge on the Our Stargate forum on Delphi.
Strangers in the night
Exchanging glances
Wond'ring in the night
What were the chances
We'd be sharing loveBefore the night was through.
Walking down the corridor to his office, it was a few moments before Daniel realized the song running through his head wasn't him just humming, somehow it had followed him out of the elevator and into level 18. He took his nose out of the file it was in and looked up at the ceiling in part confusion, doing a little hop/skip combination to avoid tripping over his feet as he spun, trying to find out where the music was coming from.
Unfortunately, it seemed to be coming from the intercom, and Daniel sighed, wondering who could be playing such annoying music, and why someone hadn't stopped them already. Maybe Walter had gotten bored and had hooked up his iPod to the system. He seemed whitebread enough for this selection; although Daniel knew Walter had a sense of humor with a twist, he couldn't imagine the airman breaking regs like that.
Daniel tossed the file onto the closest table as he reached his office, and tugged on the big metal door to shut out the insipid strains of Sinatra. Normally he liked ol' Blue Eyes, but this particular song had never been a favorite of his, and after much pulling and pushing, the door finally closed with a shriek and grind of metal. Giving the door an exasperated glare, Daniel reached for the intercom speaker to turn the volume down, his hand hovering inches from it as he realized there was no way to adjust the level, and in fact, the music was not coming from the intercom.
Strangers in the night, two lonely peopleWe were strangers in the night
Up to the moment
When we said our first hello.
A shudder went through Daniel as Sinatra drew out the 'o', and his eyes swept the room in a near desperate search to discover the music's source. After the third circuit, he saw tucked into the corner shadows, painted the same color as the ceiling, an old fashioned speaker that was reminiscent of a miniature bullhorn. Sticking a finger in one ear and turning the other to the speaker, Daniel was able to verify that yes, this was where the music was coming from.
Gauging the distance of the speaker up against the ceiling from the table below it, Daniel dragged one of his stools over and set it on top of the workbench. A few files fell to the floor as he wrestled the stool onto the table, and a number of others got dusty boot prints on them as he climbed onto the table and then stood on the slightly wobbly stool, but these were ignored as Daniel wriggled out o his jacket and wrapped the speaker up tight.
Satisfied with his work and himself, with two hops Daniel was back on the floor, lifting the stool down and picking the files up. He settled himself in front of his computer, grabbing the file he has brought in with him, and started in on the latest findings SG18 had brought back.
Wise men say only fools rush in
But I can't help falling in love with you
Shall I stay
Would it be a sin
If I can't help falling in love with you
But he could still hear the music. Admittedly muted, but it was still there, still annoying enough to tickle the back of his brain and stop him from being able to concentrate on anything.
Jumping up, Daniel bolted over to the door, wrenching it open with a screech that put the previous one to shame, and strode down the corridor to the elevators, translating 'Beowulf' into Cuneiform in his head in an attempt to block out the King's crooning as he dropped nine floors.
"Jaaaa…" Coming around the corner into Jack's office, Daniel stopped short as Jack held up a hand and rolled his eyes at the handset he was talking into.
"Cauliflower, broccoli, what does it matter? Slap a cheese sauce on it and they won't know the difference. Cheddar, Velveeta, I don't care!" Slamming down the phone, Jack put his head into his hands, threading his fingers through his hair and pulling on the short strands.
"Jack," Daniel started up again. "Why is music being piped through the SGC?"
"I don't know," came the muffled answer, barely audible over Elvis.
"It's not coming through the regular intercom."
"I know. It's the system used for announcing Gate activity, so we can't cut the wires."
Crossing his arms, Daniel frowned. "So what are we doing about it?"
"Lee and Carter are working on it."
Daniel waited a moment longer, but when it seemed nothing else was forthcoming, he left to go find Carter and Lee, missing as Jack glanced over and gave his computer a scowl that would fry its circuits.
Tall and tan and young and handsome
The boy from Ipanema goes walking
And when he passes, each one he passes goes – ah
Encountering more harried and short tempered personnel than he could imagine as he searched for Sam, Daniel finally ran her and Seymour to ground in an out of the way office with ancient equipment that appeared to have been installed when the mountain was built and never touched since.
"Saaaam…"
"I know, Daniel!" Sam and Seymour were hunched over a laptop that had a bizarre sort of umbilical cord running from it to a behemoth of a computer, the cable a hodge-podge of connective links that allowed the machines to talk to each other.
"That is, we don't know." She sat up, and Daniel blinked at the sight. Sam's hair was sticking out in all directions, she had smudges of dirt on her face, and the wild look in her eye made him step back a pace.
"We have no idea where the music is coming from, or how to stop it, we've tried rerouting the Gate program that uses this particular system, but it's outdated and a total mess." Hands on hips, Sam chewed on her lower lip and watched Seymour peck away at the laptop as The Supremes finished singing about their Brazilian boy toy. Daniel and Sam, even Seymour, paused, waiting in sick anticipation.
Gonna find my baby, gonna hold her tightgonna grab some afternoon delight.
My motto's always been; when it's right, it's right.
Why wait until the middle of a cold dark night.
When everything's a little clearer in the light of day.
And you know the night is always gonna be there any way.
"Arrrrrrrrrrrgggg!" Seymour jumped at Sam's scream of frustration, knocking the laptop of the precarious seat it had on a dusty crate. Daniel idly noticed the faded number 9906753 stenciled on it before Sam began ranting again.
"Who the hell picked these songs? I feel like I'm in a doctor's office or stuck in an elevator!"
Thinkin' of you's workin' up my appetite
Lookin' forward to a little afternoon delight.
Rubbin' sticks and stones together makes the sparks ignite
and the thought of rubbin' -
Sam's tirade broke off half a second after the music cut off. The trio waited again, more hopeful thins time, and as the moments past they began to smile in relief.
"What did you do?" Daniel peeked over Seymour's shoulder as the scientist picked up the laptop and peered at the screen.
"I didn't do anything," he answered, confused.
"Did something happen when it fell?" Nudging Seymour over, Sam typed a few commands, then finally sat back and shrugged. "I don't know either."
"Don't look a gift horse in the mouth?" Daniel offered up.
"I suppose, but I'd still like to figure out why…" Frowning, Sam leaned forward again along with Seymour, muttering to each other, eyes locked on the screen.
Emptying his computer's Recycle Bin of the MIDI files he had copied to a writable CD, Jack slipped the evidence into his briefcase. He didn't know how or why his musical vice started playing through SGC, but he did know if it ever got out it was his, Daniel would never let him live it down.