Sorry for the delay! The school is horrible, but again, this is no excuse.. Anyway, thank you for the reviews! I'm sooo happy!

INSATIABLE

part 4

Tsuzuki looked sleepily into the mirror and yawned. He was totally worn out, Kachou was certainly bored to death, considering how hard he tried not to let them feel boredom even for a second. Everyone had tons of work to do, and he wasn't any exception; he and Hisoka were very busy nowadays.

He and Hisoka.

It looked like the entire office knew that they were together more seriously and imagined even more than there really was. Kind of pathetic, but he felt proud of it. It was pleasant to show off a little, and since Hisoka didn't protest either, it was even nicer.

His partner had obviously changed his mind about certain things, because they kissed a lot, and he even allowed a bit more- like kissing his neck..

No, it wasn't any good to ponder it now, he had to go sleep and not to dream of his still underage partner.

He sighed with irritation and left the bathroom, heading towards the bed. He expected Hisoka to be already asleep, but he wasn't. He was lying not covered by the bedsheets, lost in his thoughts, and looking somewhere above the floor intensely. Actually, he was looking nice in those shorts that were revealing most of his legs.. He seemed relaxed and.. just..

Tsuzuki was doing his best to stop thinking so much and eyeing his partner up and down almost.. hungrily.

It wasn't his fault that Hisoka was a heavenly and tempting creature, and his entire body shared that opinion.

When you had accepted me… when you had let me belong to you alone…Since those moments in Kyoto, I knew that it was you whom I wanted to be with.. always.. And it's not only the talking of a love-sick person.. those are not the words which sarcastic, but in fact just unhappy people consider to be stupid and exaggerated…

One more step forward and he would do something stupid. Unfortunately, this one step was bound to come, because he couldn't spend the whole night standing in the middle of the room.

"What are you thinking about?" he asked hilariously and crawled into the bed. The movement jolted Hisoka out of his trans.

"Ah.. nothing, nothing." He denied absent-mindedly.

"So let's go to sleep, we're having a busy day tomorrow." Said Tsuzuki with fake cheer, because his inside was strongly protesting, he desired to kiss him..

"So you should say so." Pointed out the boy who obviously had picked the loud thought.

Tsuzuki inhaled sharply and only muttered something under his breath.

"I don't want to kiss you when I want to." He said after a while, and Hisoka only blinked. "I want to kiss when WE want to." He continued.

But in fact, I want to pull you closer..

Heavy silence fell around after his words and Hisoka was avoiding the eye-contact.

"I want to kiss you." He murmured.

After that, you haven't been so distant, and I wanted to keep you close all the time.. Although I knew that it was not possible, because you thought of me as a friend.. maybe as a brother?

But it is not enough for me.

Your warmth, your hands, your scent… I want to be surrounded by them.

"No, you don't." gently denied the other man and Hisoka looked at him with fury and snarled. He tossed at the other side of the bed, and pulled him closer, then, kissed him violently. His latter repaid by hugging him back, pressing their bodies together, as they were deepening the kiss.

Hisoka closed his eyes desperately, shutting off connection with his brain..

..with his heart, which was practically screaming "NO!".

If that is what you want, Tsuzuki..

I will give it to you.

If you really need it, if you really want a proof..

I will give you all of me.

Tsuzuki pulled back delicately and shook his head, whispering into his cheek:

"I won't let you do something that you don't want" he stated firmly "You're eyes don't lie, Hisoka. If you truly long for it as well, then tell me why your eyes are so frightened and full of despair..? It's very hard for me to know that I'm the one who makes them look like this.. It's just.. how come it's me from whom embrace you want to escape? Why my touch makes you suffer?" he blinked off few tears forming in the corners of his amethyst eyes and Hisoka found it impossible to stand.

Why did it turn out like this?

Why did these words sound so pathetic..?

"It's not your touch that hurts me.." he answered, looking everywhere but at him. "It's that.. that touch from my memories comes back when I go too far.. I.. You know what I mean?"

Tsuzuki nodded with blank stare and unconsciously clenched his fists; Hisoka flinched away.

"I'm sorry." Said the older one, "I'm sorry."

They stared at the bed, and even although there were only few centimeters between them, it felt like bottomless abyss that they couldn't overpower.

"I should be the one to apologize.. because, well, I'm the.. ah well." He cut awkwardly and let go of a short gasp, the little sound that people often make when they want to stop tears, and it's so difficult to do..

"Don't say things like that." Said Tsuzuki almost angrily and by impulse he reached out his hands to embrace him, but retreated. He smiled bitterly and just waved his hand strangely, opened his mouth to say something but no words came.

It's my own damn fault. I am the one who made it impossible for him to feel safe in my arms.. It's no more a pure hug of a friend who cares, it's a hug that has more meaning to it, and even a bit of something that he tries to escape from..

"You dork." Yelled Hisoka and threw his arms around him, trying with all his force to not cry. He was not a cry-baby after all, but he had to learn that everyone needs to cry sometimes..

"You're exaggerating! Stop blaming yourself for everything, your feelings had not changed into some kind of perverted lust, as you really seem to believe! You.. just.. stop hurting yourself, please.." Hisoka screamed but his voice faded in.

"It's because I constantly fear that I may be hurting you. I.." he began, but the piercing beep of the phone interrupted him, and they both almost jumped.

Few minutes later, they were putting up some clothes in a hurry, and swearing quietly. It seemed that they wouldn't get much sleep tonight.

Tatsumi called them to come at once, because it was a real emergency, but he didn't want to say what had happened.

And emergencies like that, really weren't an ordinary or common thing.

End of Part 4

I can't stop thinking that their words really are exaggerated. But well, since I'm one of those sarcastic, unhappy people that's no wonder. However, when I had been in love, such words seemed normal, so I guess it's ok. is bad. I can't edit this chapter somehow :(