Title: Good Intentions
Author: Illman
Beta: Wish I had one, but I don't. All the grammar mishaps and misspellings are my own. Feel free to point out if I butchered the English language too badly.
Date: 23/03/2005
Timeline: late first season
Spoilers: none
Warnings: whumping/dark
Disclaimer: It's their universe, not mine.
Summary: It doesn't always happen like it's supposed to.
Author's Notes: A plot bunny bit me (if you can call this a plot) and distracted me from my WIPs. The universe this is set in is maybe just a bit darker than the one we know from the show.
John triumphantly walked out of the mess hall with his bounty. He had won the race for the last chocolate muffin. It had been close, very close. But he had been unmistakably the first to claim the tasty item. Dr. Zelenka, Lieutenant Devan and Dr. Grodin had been left to stare after him,when he had grabbed the muffin first and left. Not that John didn't like chocolate muffins, but this one was for Rodney. It had been days since he had seen the scientist in the mess hall and everyone knew how much Rodney loved his food.
Everyone was under pressure with the imminent threat of the Wraith attack,but Rodney took everything to extremes. He had holed himself up in the lab., only emerging to grab the occasional shower or the rare hour of sleep. That couldn't be good for anyone. At first John had told himself that Rodney was an adult and knew what he was doing,but now he wasn't so sure anymore. When Rodney had excused himself from attending a briefing this morning and Elizabeth had allowed it, he had made up his mind to pay Rodney a visit - drop by as a friend. Friends did that, didn't they? Armed with a muffin and the intention to talk Rodney into eating it and maybe even getting some sleep, he marched towards the lab.
When he entered, Rodney didn't deem him worthy of his attention. Like a forgotten lab experiment, he stood there, watching Rodney hunched over his laptop, punching keys at an alarming rate, mumbling under his breath.
"McKay? I brought you something from the mess. Chocolate muffin, you're favorite." John tried to get Rodney's attention after his entrance had gone unnoticed.
"Um huh." Rodney mumbled without turning around. "Put it on the side."
"McKay! When was the last time you took a break?"
"When I still could afford to take one." Rodney sounded annoyed. John had succeeded in distracting him.
"You're taking one now." John closed Rodney's laptop so fast that Rodney could barely get his fingers out of the way.
"The point being of you interrupting calculations that could enable us to use the shield for several hours longer than we could at its current power consumption?"
"You need a break. I brought you something to eat and afterwards you are going to take a nap. You're on the fast track to committing karoshi and I'm not going to let you." John winced at hearing his own words. It sounded way more personal than he had intended. You are here just as a friend, he reminded himself. Rodney didn't reply immediately,instead he was looking around the room.
"I could use your help, major. We have been looking for solution from all angles. Including Ancient technologies. I have been skimming through varies texts last night and found an item that might be of use. I don't know too much about it, but..."
"You need me to activate it. If I do it, are you going to take a break?"
"Are you never giving up? I'm going to eat your muffin."
"What about the nap?"
"Let's say it depends on what we find."
"So,if you find something promising, then you are going to want to do more tests, we are going to be here forever." John sighed.
"Sometimes, I almost believe that you do have a brain, major. But of course, if it doesn't work, I have wasted valuable time and need to get back to my calculations." Rodney grinned. "I win."
"For now." John conceded. He wasn't going to give up that easily.
Rodney got up and brought several objects over to the lab bench. One was a plate seized dull gray disc. Near the center of the disc were three odd shaped holes. Cut to fit in the holes three clear crystals. The last object resembled a a metal headband with the front half cut out. It was made of the same dull gray material as the disc,but was oddly light for its metallic look. Rodney assembled the disc with the crystals while John turned the headband like piece over in his hands, trying to get a sense of what it was.
"What do you know about this?" he asked.
"Not took much. We found it when exploring the city. The texts indicate that it generates an energy field of some kind,I haven't worked out any particulars,but it sounded useful." Rodney grinned excited despite the exhaustion that was written on his face. John couldn't help but be infected by the other man's excitement.
"Then let's get going." he took a deep breath and put on the head piece.
At first there was nothing. Nothing reacted, lit up or did anything. Rodney was watching was a tense face. John was almost ready to call the test off, when he heard a hum. A hum that was both in the room and it was also filling his head. The crystals were starting to glow and the hum in his head intensified rapidly,drowning out all sounds in the room. John wanted to move his hands, to off the headpiece, but he couldn't move them. Somehow he was now staring at the ceiling with Rodney hovering over him. His mouth was moving. He could only make out a hint of Rodney's voice through the deafening noise in his head. Rodney sounded shrill. John tried to say something, but his own voice was swallowed by the noise in his head. Suddenly, sharp pain lanced through his head, intensifying by the second. This time he heard the scream that tore from his throat before everything went dark.
Rodney was frantic. Everything had been going along fine. The crystals had activated and had produced an amazing energy field. He had been completely absorbed in taking reading, he had only noticed that something was wrong when John had hit the floor with a thud. Reading immediately forgotten, Rodney had rushed to his side,but he had been totally helpless. John's eyes had been open, but he had been staring up at him, as if he didn't even see him. He had been like paralyzed, not knowing what to do. Only when John had screamed and passed out, he'd finally had the sense to call Beckett.
Now if the man would come already. Rodney felt for John's pulse again, finding it fast and strong. His thoughts were racing. What if there was something seriously wrong? And God, who was he kidding? There was something seriously wrong. When he had tried to remove the alien headpiece before, he'd found the he couldn't. With horror, he'd seen a thing line of blood dripping from the major's temple. That qualified as serious in his book.
He glanced over at John. Suddenly the still man's back arched and he launched into a violent fit of compulsions. Rodney was just about to get back on the radio with Beckett when the doctor barelled through the door,panting from the run. In a flurry of activity, Beckett and his team of medics hold down John and inject him with the contents of a syringe. Soon he went limp on the ground. He was loaded onto a gurney and wheeled off to the infirmary. Rodney was left behind. He was numb with fear, Slowly he got up from the ground where he had been kneeling next to John and made his way to the infirmary.
Rodney could see John from where he was standing. Well,he could see bits of him, his hair and one am. He forced himself to listen to Dr. Beckett.
"I gave the interface to Dr. Zelenka as Dr. Weir ordered. It seems like it was trying to attach itself permanently to Major Sheppard. He was very lucky that it stopped before any major damage was done. I removed the two pins that were driven into his temple. There was some minor bleeding that I want to keep an eye on, but nothing that won't heal given time."
Radek had told him already what he had found out about the interface. If it hadn't shut off for some reason, John would be dead now. Dead because of him.
"I think the major's brain couldn't handle the interface. That's why they interface stopped working" Beckett theorized.
"What's wrong with him?" Rodney asked,needed to know everything that he had done.
"He's stable for now. It's his brain activity that we're concerned about. It's highly erratic. It's too soon to tell for sure. We're hoping it will normalized on its own. I have contacted Dr. Perez from linguistics to help translating all the material we have about the artifact. I know you already made your own translation, but I thought it couldn't hurt to have our expert on Ancient to look at it as well."
Normally Rodney would have been offended that people didn't trust his work, but now he didn't care. He went back to the lab to get his own translation work before sitting down at John's bedside.
Rodney only got up hours later when almost midnight. He didn't plan on leaving for good, he just needed to get a bite to eat to keep his blood sugar up. Carson was long gone and the night staff didn't bother him as he left. He was almost out the door when he ran into the person he least expected. Elizabeth was heading straight for him. She had been looking for him, he could tell. He has been avoiding her since the fiasco with the interface, but he knew he would have to face the consequences. Elizabeth came to a stop near him, but before she has a chance to speak, he stopped her.
"Don't," Rodney raised his hand, stilling Elizabeth. "I know. I know it's my fault. I should have run tests on the interface before letting John anywhere near it. It would have been my responsibility to make sure that it was safe. But I didn't do it. I was too busy, too desperate to find a way to save us from the Wraith that I didn't take the time to properly test the Ancient interface before asking John to activate it. I didn't even take the time to study all the text completely,otherwise I would have know that it is a one shot thing, that the user is sacrificing him or herself when using the device. I should have known. Everything that's happened is my fault. Please believe me. I wish there was something, anything I could do …"
"Don't do this to yourself Rodney. You can't undo what happened. Yes, you made a mistake by not being more careful with the translation. To be honest, if the circumstances were different, you would probably lose your position on the science team,but right now, we can't afford that. Neither of us can."
"I'm resigning." He said forcefully, looking at her for the first time since they had begun their conversation."I don't deserve to be chief scientist for this mission anymore.
"No, you aren't." Elizabeth's voice wasn't gentle anymore. "You are not going to wallow in self-pity while everyone else is trying to figure out how to safe the city."
"Self-pity! Is that what you think this is? John might never wake up again because I tried to find a way to save the city."
He's my friend too." Elizabeth's voice softened. "But we need you too. Everyone in the city needs you now. It's late, get some sleep. I see you back in the lab tomorrow morning." Elizabeth starts towards the infirmary door, waiting for him to follow. Rodney cast a last look back in the direction of John's bed. He wanted to stay, wanted to be there for John, but he knew he couldn't. He turned away and followed Elizabeth.
The End