Title: Born To Be Wild

Author: Slashapalooza

Disclaimer: It's getting harder every day for me to wake up and know this one truth: I don't own Kingdom Hearts. I don't own Sora. I don't own Riku. I don't even own Kairi – Not that I would ever want to own her anyway. I mean, geez, with that kind of motivation, it's a wonder I haven't bombed Square-Enix by now. Oooh, I think I just had a good idea…

Rating (With Author Commentary): PG-13 Parents Strongly Cautioned: Some material may be inappropriate for children under 13 (not that you won't read it anyway). This signifies that the film rated may be inappropriate for pre-teens (like for, oh, say, your three year old sister). Parents (as if they're reading this) should be especially careful about letting their younger children attend (and possible pick up some bad language). Rough or persistent violence is absent; sexually-oriented nudity is generally (note the word: generally) absent; some scenes of drug use may be seen (just to give your kids even more ideas); one use of the harsher sexually derived words may be heard (basically meaning that people will call other people whorishly slutty hoes).

Summary: (AU) Sora Harada absolutely can't stand that arrogant rich boy Riku Masaki. Then, Sora's best friend Kairi blackmails him into putting himself up for auction at the school fund raiser. Unfortunately for Sora, it's Riku who buys him. Can Riku get Sora to see that he's not such a bad guy after all? (RS)

Plot's Note: I would just like to say that I do not approve of this story at all. What's wrong with you people? Sora and Riku aren't in love! Did you ever play the game? Sora's in love with Kairi and Riku gets shoved off to the side somewhere, you blind, ignorant, evil—

Author's Note: Don't listen to him. He's just bitter because there are more Riku and Sora fans in the world than Sora and Kairi fans (How weird is that?) Good job, guys! Recruit more people to the cause!

Sora's Note: I hate you. All of you. Not only do I get shoved into the 'girl' role 9 times out of 10, but most of the time I have to get molested. You sick, sick, sick people.

Riku's Note: Let's keep in mind what's really important here. Me. And my needs. So, Sora, why are your clothes still on?

Kairi's Note: …God help us all.

Genre: Romance, meaning there will be kissing, hugging, sappy speeches, heartfelt emotions, broken hearts, sexual thoughts, actions (non-explicit of course) and perhaps cuddling. Humor, meaning there will be sarcasm, cynicism, mockery, teasing, taunts, and humorous situations including hiding in trash receptacles and cheating the taxi cab driver out of his pay. Slash, meaning there will be boys kissing boys, boys molesting boys, boys shoving boys up against walls and making out with boys, boys sticking their hands down other boys' pants (Sora: …I think I hate this story already), boys buying other boys, boys being disappointed that buying other boys doesn't cover asking for sexual favors (Riku: Damn…), and boys falling in love with other boys.

Spoilers: None whatsoever. Unless you want a spoiler from the story itself in which case… Er… The taxi cab driver is really mad that he doesn't get paid?

Feedback: Come on. You know you want to make me feel all good about myself. Wink wink. Hint hint. Nudge nudge.

Setting: Kaibara High School in Osaka, Japan. Why in Osaka, you ask? Because imagining Sora and Riku with those Texan accents that Osakan people have in the anime dubs makes me squeal uncontrollably.

Date Begun: March 22, 2005

Date Posted: March 24, 2005

Part I: Comedy and Tragedy

"Anything I've ever wanted to do, I've done. Anyone I've ever wanted to be with, I've had." — Calvin Klein

.Riku's POV.

There are three things about this school that I love: the fact that I'm well loved and respected by all, the fact that I've been in more people's pants than anybody else I know, and the fact that, even though I never hang around long after that, I still have throes of admirers.

Which may lead you to wonder if the student body of Kaibara High is on crack or just stupid, but this set up works well in my favor, which is all that really matters.

I'd been going to Kaibara for the last two years and was all set to graduate next year, in style and, hopefully, as valedictorian. I'd probably expect a guy like me – popular, athletic, rich – would be extremely illiterate and failing all his classes, but that's far from the truth.

In fact, the only kid with grades higher than mine happened to be one Sora Harada, my current object of obsession.

I was, at the present moment, seated under a tree in the school's courtyard, surrounded by Leon, Tidus, and ten girls who's names I didn't know or want to know, really. My attention was on the boy sitting all the way at one of those stone tables just outside the school building.

Why they'd even built those things was a mystery to me because the tables were in direct heat of the sun and sitting there guaranteed a sun burn if you didn't wear the right protection.

However, I had to admit the tables weren't so bad because they gave me a perfect view of Sora from where I was seated. And Sora was well aware that I was watching him, if the deadly glare he shot me was any indication.

I gave him one of my trademark devilish smirks, watching him roll his eyes and turn back to his conversation with two other girls whose names I should know, but only remembered if I had to.

I think one of them was that Kairi girl from my Chemistry class who sat in the back of the room and, every so often, blew something up, earning us all a free period. With such talent, she was hard to dislike.

The other girl was Selphie, the one from my gym class who went up against the entire class in dodge ball – and won. I happened to be absent that day, but the grumbling complaints I got from my fellow classmates were highly amusing.

"Riku? Are you paying attention?"

The female voice snapped my attention from trying to figure out exactly what shade of blue Sora's eyes were. I blinked, turning to look at one of the blondes. What was her name? Cherry? Or was that what I called her because I couldn't remember her real name and she thought it was a cute, sexual nickname?

No, wait, I think that was one of the redheads. Or maybe a brunette.

"No. Sorry, what were you saying?" I asked, raising an eyebrow and putting on my 'charming' face. Tidus and Leon saw this coming from a mile away and rolled their eyes simultaneously, looking away in disgust.

Pfft. Jealously wasn't pretty on either of them. Not that they were all that pretty to begin with.

"I was asking if you were going to be participating in the boys' auction tonight?" Cherry repeated, raising an eyebrow at me. The rest of the girls leaned in, probably anticipating my yes.

"The auction…" I repeated under my breath. Every year, the school had an annual auction. It was mostly to prove that we didn't live in a completely patriarchal society (or so my history teacher explained since he ran the thing) by selling the boys off to raise money for the school.

The 'sold' male had to do whatever the 'buyer' said for an entire week. Well, okay, the buyer couldn't say something like 'Take off all your clothes, screw me senseless, then go jump off a really tall bridge' and expect the guy to follow, but you get what I mean.

Still, I really didn't feel like being owned for an entire week. If I was going to be in any week-long relationship with some girl, I wanted to be boss. I didn't handle taking orders very well, but I was great at giving them.

Besides, it wasn't even a girl of my choice.

"Nah, I don't think so," I answered finally, ignoring the disappointed groans. "I will, however, make a guest appearance. Just to see who buys who." They still looked disappointed so I added, "Maybe next year."

The bell signifying the end of lunch rang and I got to my feet, dusting off my jeans and grinning. Lunchtime never failed to give me an immense ego boost. "Well, ladies, it's been fun but I'm afraid that I'm going to have to leave you all now."

I wasn't surprised as a familiar voice called out, "And the world releases a collective sigh of relief."

It looked as if Sora was paying closer attention to my conversations than he'd been letting on. I chuckled, turning towards the stone table and giving Sora my most endearing look. "You know, Sora, hiding your true feelings of lust and desire towards me is unhealthy. And completely transparent."

"You know, Riku, your completely arrogant and pompous look on how the world views you is unhealthy and completely annoying," Sora deadpanned, rolling his eyes as he gathered his things and got up from the table. I gave Leon and Tidus a look, telling them to go on without me, then walked over to Sora and smirked at him.

"Oh really? So I was only imagining those girls sitting with me?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

Sora rolled his eyes. "The opinions of a few hundred airheads is nothing to feel good about. Those of us with minds can see how you truly are. And I don't like what I'm seeing." He fixed his gaze on me, looking annoyed. "Now, if you'll excuse me, you're in my way."

I moved so I was standing directly in front of him and he was trapped between me and the table. I braced my hands on either side of him, leaning in close. "Are you sure you really want me to move?"

Sora sighed in irritation. "It's at times like these I wonder why you only date girls."

"Now is not the time to be discussing my sexual orientation, Sora," I pointed out, stepping back so that he could finally move. How that boy managed to resist my advances all the time was beyond me.

Fortunately for me, nobody else seemed to be able to do the same thing.

Sora slid out from between me and the table, giving me a dirty look. "Now you've gone and made me late for class. I hope you're proud of yourself."

"I got to pin you to a table. Of course I'm proud of myself," I said with a very satisfied smile. Sora muttered obscenities at me under his breath and started walking away. I caught the words 'arrogant', 'pompous', and 'son of a—' before he was completely out of view.

I, however, had a free period then and there was no way in hell I was spending it on school grounds. I pulled a cell phone out of my pocket. "Hello? Lars? Can you swing by the school and pick me up? I want to go to Starbucks."

"You know your father hates it when you go there when you can get quality coffee at home," Lars informed me in that annoying, nasal tone of his.

I rolled my eyes. If I didn't want to spend my free period at school, why on earth would I want to spend it at home? "I know. Now, if you could please—"

I cut myself off when I saw Lars pull up at the side gate. He was used to my free period cut-outs by now. I smiled, pocketing my phone and heading to the car. Strawberries and cream crème, here I come.

"Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall in an open sewer and die." — Mel Brooks

.Sora's POV.

"Sora, glaring daggers out the window during class is not a healthy pastime," I heard Kairi say to me as she slid into the seat behind me. I turned my attention from the window, where I'd been watching Riku climb into a limo and drive off, to her with an irritated noise.

"What is it with people and telling me what's healthy and not healthy today?" I asked, smiling a bit when Kairi started laughing. She was hard to stay mad at. And incredibly scary when she was the one who was mad at you.

"Sora, just because you're mad at Riku for being right—"

I glared at her. "What exactly are you implying, Kairi Hotaka? That I am in love with that jerk?" I raised an eyebrow. "What did I tell you about smoking pot behind the school during study hall?"

Kairi huffed. "I have not being smoking pot. I'm just stating facts and all the facts are pointing to you being madly in love with him."

"Oh," I said, as if some great epiphany had been revealed to me. "So that's why I glare at him, scowl every time someone mentions him, and insult him and his fat head as much as possible! Thank you, Dr. Freud."

Kairi was about to pursue the matter further, but, thankfully, our algebra teacher, Mr. Yumata, entered the room and all talking stopped. I opened up my notebook to take notes since algebra wasn't my best subject, even though I managed to get all As, when a note fluttered into my hand.

I sighed and opened it. So… Sora… Are you coming to the auction tonight? It read. I rolled my eyes. Why would I want to go to a stupid auction and watch my classmates get sold off to desperate girls and probably get mauled and molested on their way out the door? It seemed a waste of time to me.

Besides, Scooby Doo On Zombie Island was playing on Cartoon Network for the first time ever tonight and there was no way I was missing that for some stupid auction.

When I expressed these feelings to Kairi, I was promptly jabbed sharply in the back with her pencil as she hissed, "I think you should sign up."

I winced and made sure Mr. Yumata wasn't looking my way before I hissed back, "I think you should really lay off the drugs."

She jabbed me again. "I'm not taking drugs!"

"As nice as that is to hear, Miss Hotaka, could you refrain from causing your boyfriend bodily harm in my classroom?" Mr. Yumata said flatly. I was about to calmly accept this rebuke without saying anything, but Kairi was a completely different story.

"He's not my boyfriend. Sora's gay," she said, loud enough for the entire district of Osaka to hear. I flushed as I heard the snickers and buried my head in my hands.

"Oh. Well. Um," Mr. Yumata cleared his throat and blinked. "Moving on…"

Thank you, Kairi.

I shot Kairi a glare over my shoulder once I was sure it was safe, then went back to my note taking until I felt a familiar jab. Automatically, I said, "No."

"Oh, come on, Sora. You know you want to put yourself up for auction," she said in her sing-songy voice. The same voice that persuaded me to take the entire plate of free samples and run that one time at the supermarket. And the same voice that got me to go see if that old lady's pit bull was friendly.

The pit bull was; the old lady wasn't. I still had a bruise from where she hit me with her cane for trying to 'steal her dog'.

"Kairi, with my luck, I'll get bought by, like, the principal because nobody else wants me and then I'll end up cleaning her office every day for the rest of the week," I whispered back, not taking my eyes off the board.

"I'll buy you if nobody else does," Kairi said. I could just hear the amusement in her voice at the thought of me standing up there in humiliating shame until she finally called out, 'I'll take him! I've only got a quarter though!'

Sold for a quarter. I would never live that down.

"I'm not going to do it, Kairi, so you can just get that idea out of your head right now," I stated firmly as the bell rang. I blinked in surprise. I'd wasted the whole period talking about the stupid auction instead of taking notes?

Once again, thank you, Kairi.

I got up, shoving my books into my bag with the intention of making a quick getaway since Kairi was quite persistent, but by the time I looked up she was already standing in front of my desk.

I groaned. "Kairi, no."

"Sora, yes," Kairi taunted, grinning at me. "It'd be an enlightening experience. Besides, I've always wanted to own you for a week."

"Now that is such wonderful motivation," I said flatly. I smiled a bit. "Girlfriend."

Kairi scoffed. "You wish I was." She smirked. "Or, maybe you're wishing for a boyfriend? A certain white-haired, arrogant boyfriend? Who happens to be obsessed with you at the moment? And had you pinned up against a table less than—"

"If I killed you right here and now, no one would notice," I informed her, pulling my bag strap onto my shoulder and starting to walk out of the classroom. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got to go and have English class with Sir Brags A Lot."

"I didn't want to have to do this, Sora," I heard Kairi say in a pained voice. A very fake pained voice. I stopped in my tracks and turned around, raising an eyebrow at her. She was rummaging through her backpack. "I know we've been best friends for years and years, Sora, but if you can't do me this one favor when I've done so much for you—"

I lifted my shirt to show her the bruise from that old lady.

"—That bruise notwithstanding." She finally seemed to find whatever it was she was looking for and pulled out a very battered and bruise stuffed bear. I blinked.

"Isn't that the stuffed animal I used to sleep with?" I asked, starting to get nervous and stepping towards her.

Kairi smirked. "Mr. Snuffa McSnufflingtons. The stuffed animal you stopped sleeping with… last week." She smirked even more. "And the only reason you haven't gotten back into the habit is because you gave it to me for safe keeping."

I blinked again. "Kairi…"

"And if you don't sign up for the auction, I'm sure the entire student body would love to know that their future valedictorian had to wean himself from his stuffed animal at the age of seventeen," she finished as she waved the teddy bear in front of my face.

I tackled her. "GIVE IT TO ME!"

"Make me, Harada!"

There was much struggling and rolling around on the ground. Two desks got overturned, papers went flying, and Kairi lost her head band. But it was all for a noble cause. I had to get that bear back!

"Give. It. To. Me."

"Never! You'll have to fight me for it!"

"Don't make me have to tie you down and—"

"Mr. Harada! Miss Hotaka! If the two of you wish to engage in sexual acts, PLEASE don't do it in my classroom!" Mr. Yumata screamed from the door. I groaned as I realized what kind of position I was in.

I was currently pinning Kairi to the ground, leaning closely over her to try and reach the bear and she was arched up to keep the animal out of my grasp with her hair messy and her shirt riding up.

I groaned again.

Mr. Yumata clapped a hand to his face. "Mr. Harada, you can't possibly still be getting off with me in the doorway watching you…"

The thought of me 'getting off' with anyone, especially Kairi, while Mr. Yumata was watching was more than enough to cause me to turn a sickly green color and leap off of Kairi like she had the Bubonic plague.

I covered my face with my hands, turning a bright red color. Kairi tugged down her shirt and tried to get her hair back in order, shoving The Stuffed Animal of Doom back in her bag. She cleared her throat. "Right. So. Sora. After your English class, how about we go to the cafeteria and sign you up, hm?"

I muttered inarticulately under my breath and trailed out of the classroom after her, certain I'd never been more embarrassed in my life. That seemed to happen a lot when Kairi was around. It seemed her mission in life was to 'make my life better' which inevitably ended up with me in the worst positions.

Take that any way you want to.

I ran my fingers through my hair, ignoring the smug look Kairi shot me as she pointed towards the cafeteria, then disappeared to her next class. I rolled my eyes and headed towards English, walking in and blinking as everybody stopped what they were doing and stared at me.

I glanced at the clock on the wall and cursed as I realized I was late. I mustered a half-smile as I looked at Miss Ryusaki. "Um… Er… Sorry I was late, Ma'am, but I was busy—"

"Oh, we know. We heard the commotion," she said with a smirk on her face. I turned a shade of bright red as she gestured for me to take my seat. "For a girl who's not your girlfriend, you two sure seem to play a lot."

"We weren't playing! She was blackmailing me!" I insisted. "I wouldn't play with her even if I liked girls. Kairi's like my best friend. I've seen her in her underwear before. Not a pretty sight."

"…Thank you for sharing, Sora," Miss Ryusaki stated in a strained voice. "Now, please take your seat and keep your tales to yourself."

I sighed and headed to the back of the room, sitting down at my place right next to The Devil Incarnate. I decidedly ignored him in favor of opening up my copy of Much Ado About Nothing. It was some Shakespearean book Miss Ryusaki had decided would be absolutely perfect for us to read in class.

I didn't like it very much, though. I couldn't figure out why, although Kairi said it was because the plotline hit a little too close to home.

"Getting frisky in the classroom, huh, Sora? I'm proud of you," I heard Riku whisper in amusement. I raised an eyebrow at him.

"You mean you're not seething with uncontrollable jealousy?" I asked in a dull voice, not really caring either way. But for somebody who was 'obsessed' with me, he sure was fickle. Although, I really couldn't see what there was to be obsessed about. I wasn't a very interesting person.

In fact, I could survive with three things: Sugar, air, and my mom. The word 'Momma's boy' fits me well.

"Of course I am," Riku returned, a smirk evident in his voice even though I wasn't looking at him anymore. "In fact, I think, to make up for it, we should get frisky in this classroom right after class."

Ha. Yeah, right.

"As appealing as that sounds," I said in a voice that told him it was anything but. "Right after class, I have to go to the cafeteria and sign up for the auction." I sighed. "Kairi's forcing me, not that it's any of your business."

"Oh really…" Riku murmured in a tone that I wasn't sure I liked very much. I turned my head to look at him, blinking.

"Oh really… what?" I asked suspiciously, narrowing my eyes.

Riku seemed to snap out of whatever spell he was in and gave me another one of those fake charming smiles he was so famous for. "Oh nothing. Don't worry that pretty little head of yours."

"Right," I said, turning back to the lesson.

"I consider myself influential, as opposed to manipulative." — Richard Hatch

.Riku's POV.

I was busy trying to pick out what I wanted to wear to the auction when the phone rang. Choosing an outfit was a very delicate situation. I could get mauled at any time by anxious females who mistake me for one of the participators.

I was considering wearing Velcro to save my outfit from being ripped to shreds, but not only was Velcro uncomfortable as a whole, but I didn't own any outfits that had Velcro on them.

But, right, the phone.

I sighed, not feeling like stopping what I was doing, and pressed the button for the speaker as I tried to decide between a black muscle shirt and a blue t-shirt. "Hello?" I answered with a sigh.

"Er… Riku?" I didn't recognize the voice, but I felt like I should have. I was in no mood for admirers at the moment, however, so I merely ignored the person in favor of sifting through my closet. "Riku? Is that you?"

"Who are you, where do I know you from, and have we slept together yet?" I asked as I pulled out some beige cargo pants. Those were standard questions I asked all the girls that called me.

"Excuse me? I wouldn't sleep with you if you paid me!" the girl said, obviously insulted. Then she seemed to think better of her tone and cleared her throat. "This… This is Kairi. You know, Sora's friend?"

Now I was interested. I dropped what I was doing and turned to the speaking. "The one he was getting it on with in the math room?"

"WE WERE NOT GETTING ANYTHING ON!"

I only barely managed to jam my fingers in my ears before she started screaming. Didn't she realize how many enraged girls would be on her ass if I went deaf? Not to mention my father would kill her and my mother…

…Well, mother would probably laugh. If she were in town at the moment.

"Right," I said when I deemed it safe to drop my fingers. "So… The reason you called is…?"

"Well," Her voice had gone from angry to amused in a matter of seconds and I began to wonder if maybe this girl was bipolar. "I know you're interested in Sora and I have a proposition for you."

"I don't make deals with strange girls who have three mood swings within the span of two minutes," I informed her in a cutesy voice, turning back to the closet.

"I'm not having mood swings! I'm trying to get you to buy Sora at the auction tonight, you bubble-headed—"

"Come again?" Once again, she'd managed to capture my interest. "You want me to what?"

"I want you to buy Sora at the auction!" Kairi repeated as if I was incompetent. "I mean, I know you like him and I know he likes you – or he should because you two would fit so well together – so I think you should buy him tonight. There are no rules specifying that only girls can bid."

I blinked for a few minutes. "Owning Sora for an entire week…" I murmured aloud. This was the same thing I'd been thinking about in English class earlier. Sure, Sora hated me beyond all reason, but, hey, I was so charming and loveable that after one week with me, he couldn't possibly still hold a grudge.

Right?

"Sounds promising," I said in the detached manner my father had taught me to use. Not saying 'yes' or 'no', in true politician style. "I'll think carefully about your offer."

I could just picture her rolling her eyes at me. "Whatever. Just trying to help my friend find true happiness."

"You think Sora can find true happiness with me?" I asked in surprise. And to think I was only going to buy him to have some… innocent fun with him all week. I felt sort of guilty.

Sort of.

"I think you two could benefit from the relationship," she said in the same detached politician way that I had answered her mere minutes ago. "Think carefully about my offer. See you tonight!"

The sound of the dial tone signified the end of the call. I shook my head. Some people were just plain infuriating. But at least my mind was at ease knowing that Sora and Kairi had not, in fact, been getting it on in the classroom. Somehow the thought hadn't sat well with me.

Of course, the thought of having Sora all to myself for a whole thing was something I enjoyed a lot. Too bad sexual favors weren't included in the deal, but I was confident, with enough of my manly charms, Sora would hop into my bed with no problem.

The Riku Masaki Charm™ never failed.

I checked the clock behind me and hummed thoughtfully. I had roughly 30 minutes before the auction started and still no outfit ready. When in doubt…

"Clarisse!" I called, waiting for the maid to appear. She was not only my maid; she was also my fashion consultant. She was also responsible for setting out my uniform for me in the mornings because I was in no position to do anything more than grunt until at least 9am.

She appeared in less than five seconds, heading over to my closet without my needing to say anything. That done, I headed downstairs for some food.

We had one of the hugest kitchens in the world, with a fridge that could hold three horses, a cow, and twelve chickens and still have room, so there was no chance that I would be starving any time soon. I got a simple hot pocket out of the freezer and put it in the microwave, waiting for it to heat up before grabbing it, taking a bite, and heading back upstairs.

Clarisse was finished by that time, leaving a black t-shirt and the beige cargo pants from before on the bed for me along with my Converse sneakers. I clapped for her, laughing as she bowed and left the room.

Another thing I loved about the woman – there were no words needed between us. It was my belief that the female race talked entirely too much to be healthy. Take that Kairi girl for example.

Or Cherry.

Or my mom.

But I digress.

I changed into the outfit Clarisse had laid out and brushed my fingers through my hair, grabbing a few hundred dollars out of sock drawer and heading out of my room and down the stairs. "Dad! I'm leaving now! I'll be back later!"

"Try not to get carried home by the police again!" Dad called back from his office three doors down from the kitchen.

"ONE TIME!" I reminded him, rolling my eyes and locking the door behind me. I climbed into my Porsche, knowing I could very well take the limo, but, geez, driving a limo late a night practically screamed 'mug me'.

Actually, so did driving a Porsche, but that was about as low-key as our cars got.

I parked my car in the school parking lot, barely able to find any space for it with the huge amount of cars already crammed in there, and headed inside to the auditorium. As soon as I opened the doors, I was overcome by the wild screaming of about half the student body.

I spotted Cherry and some other girls on the other side of the room and was about to head that way when I was suddenly grabbed and shoved in the opposite direction.

I wasn't surprised to find that it was Kairi who was manhandling me. I gave her a dull look. "Can you let go of me, please? There's got to be some kind of law against this."

She ignored me. "Sora's coming up next. I'm just trying to maneuver you so that he won't be able to see you when you bid on him. He'd probably race offstage or something."

"That's reassuring," I said in amusement. "Thanks, I think."

"You're welcome," Kairi answered, letting go of me and then disappearing into the crowd. She probably didn't want to be found at the scene of the crime. I smiled in amusement, my eyes going to the stage as Sora finally walked out.

How can you talk if you haven't got a brain?" asked Dorothy.
"I don't know. But some people without brains do an awful lot of talking, don't they?" answered the Scarecrow. — The Wizard of Oz

.Sora's POV.

"And now, for contestant number three! Sora Harada, a junior here at our fine high school and one of the smartest around. Not to mention he's absolutely adorable! Come on out, Sora!"

I made sure to give Mr. Iwamoto a huge glare on my way onto the stage where I was momentarily blinded by the lights. How had Kairi managed to get me into this mess? I didn't want to be sold!

The days of slavery ended long ago, didn't they!

Kairi had even been kind enough to come over to my house and choose an outfit for me to wear, although I could have picked out the jeans and red t-shirt myself. She'd even tried to run a comb through my hair.

Well, five combs.

All of them got broken.

I sighed, trying to look like I actually wanted to be here. I don't think I pulled that off very well, but at least I managed to get to the end of the stage, waiting for someone to start bidding.

"We'll start the bidding at… twenty dollars. Do I hear twenty? Twenty?"

To my surprise, people were actually bidding. My cheeks turned a very bright red I hoped wasn't noticeable. Then again, considering I was under a spotlight and everything, I was pretty sure everyone could see.

"Fifty? Do I hear fifty-five? Okay! Do I hear sixty? Sixty, anybody?"

What were these people planning to do with me for the next seven days, anyway? I was not doing anybody's homework. They gave us enough as it was without me having to do twice the work.

I tried to locate Kairi in the crowd and spotted her over by the door, chatting with Selphie. I narrowed my eyes at her and she caught the look, smirking and holding up her backpack.

Oh god, she'd brought the evil Stuffed Animal of Doom with her.

I blinked, tuning in to realize we'd hit the one hundreds.

"Do I hear one fifty? One fifty! Wow, you girls must really like this boy. Do I hear two hundred?"

The room fell silent, waiting for somebody to actually volunteer this insane amount of money on my behalf. I scratched the back of my head sheepishly when no one said anything, wondering who was winning me.

"Going once… Going twice…"

"Two hundred," called an amused voice from the back of the room. I immediately tensed up at the familiarity of it. And the sheer lack of femininity.

"Going once… Going twice… Sold to the young lady for two hundred dollars!" Mr. Iwamoto called, pointing out into the crowd. Everybody was turning their heads to see who had bought me, but the person was somewhere in the far back. I craned my head to try and see, but I couldn't see a thing.

"I resent that comment. Who says I'm a 'lady'?"

I took a step back. "No… You're kidding… Tell me you're kidding…" However, it was obvious the closer the person got to the stage that it was none other than the bane of my very existence. "Riku, what the heck do you think you're doing?"

He gave me an innocent look. "Um, helping to raise money for the arts department?"

I leaned down so that I was at eye level with him and poked him in the forehead. "Unless you've been hiding something from the entire student body for the last three years… or earlier… then you can't buy me!"

Riku patted me on the head. "Relax, Sora. It'll be fun. Besides, there are no rules against this… Right, Mr. Iwamoto?"

The teacher was flipping through the auction rulebook. After a few minutes, he shot me an apologetic look. "I'm sorry, Sora, but… while this is unusual… he's not breaking any rules…"

I paled significantly.

Riku smirked.

And suddenly, my whole world came crashing down.

End of Part I